A/N: Yes, I can't help myself at this point. Damn plot bunnies are invading my mind…

The toddler stared at the monitor, curious as all children tend to be. The figure in the shadows behind her giggling hysterically while gesturing towards the screen. "Now Kiyo, that is your onii-san. Call him Kakashi-niisan…."

Two Days Later…

Hatake Kakashi awoke to an unknown pressure upon his chest. He kept his eyes closed as he tried to discern just what was sitting on him; it couldn't have been Pakkun, since he hadn't been summoned. It wasn't Naruto, since he knew the gaki was with the rest of his team waiting for him to show up. Besides, it was too light for it to be Naruto.

But it was moving around. And it didn't take him long to discover just what it was when a soft pudgy hand slapped over his Sharingan eye.

"Ka'shi-niitan!"

Oh. Hell. To the no.

Opening his normal eye, he quickly shut it with a groan. There was a damn toddler sitting on him, dressed in black footy pajamas. What made him want to crawl down deeper into his futon was the fact that the thing had white hair like his. But in-oh, curse the heavens above!-of all things, pigtails.

"Ka'shi-niitan!" This time the child was more demanding, and pressed her little face right against his. "Ohayo oniitan!" And the cursed spawn did the unholy; she licked his face.

Both eyes snapped open in a glare that should have sent the child screaming and scrambling off the bed. However, the toddler merely giggled and leaned in to give a slobbery kiss all over his Sharingan eye.

"Ka'shi-niitan feel better now?" Her cherub-like face and charcoal eyes took on the expression of concern. She thought he had hurt his eye!

Is it because it's red?

Deciding to go with what he was praying like hell was a sick joke, Kakashi patted her head like he would pat one of his dogs. "Aa, your oniisan is all better now." Sitting up in bed, he realized that his room had made a drastic change. Instead of his plain black dresser and bookcase being the only furniture besides his bed in his room, there was small black cot with an equally small dresser beside it. He got the feeling if he opened it, he would find baby clothes.

This was either a really elaborate joke, or the Gods above had finally forsaken him.

A/N: Don't worry, there's more to come.