Hi everybody So…its been a really, really long time since I've updated stories or done any writing at all. Basically, real life took over and I just seemed to stop writing altogether. I just couldn't get my head into it. I never lost interest in the show though – it's still my favorite - and recently I've been feeling the urge again to write. I really want to finish the two stories I left undone (and hopefully some new stuff as well). I'm starting out with this one for now – not yet sure if I will stick to one at a time or work on "The Accident" simultaneously. We'll see how it goes. I apologize to anyone who was reading this way back when I started it. I didn't intend to abandon it. I'll try to do better now if anyone is still reading

xxxxx

Ducky watched as Gibbs paced back and forth outside Tony's Pavilion room. "He's making me nuts, Duck," Gibbs said, running his hand back through his hair as he uncharacteristically rambled. "No one can talk any sense into him. He's obviously in pain, but he's stubborn as hell. Won't touch any pain medicine, not even a damn Tylenol. I don't get it. Is he just trying to punish himself or trying to punish me? What the hell is he doing?" He'd been watching Tony suffering for over a day now, barely sleeping, in obvious pain. It was driving him to distraction and affecting McGee as well. They were both at a loss as to what to do.

"Jethro, calm yourself," Ducky said in his most soothing tone. "Let me try to talk to the boy."

"It's not going to do any good. He won't listen to you, won't listen to anyone," Gibbs muttered.

Ducky couldn't help but notice how tired Gibbs looked…tired and worried. "Well, it can't hurt for me to try," Ducky insisted. He gave Gibbs' shoulder an encouraging squeeze and opened Tony's door.

"Hey, Ducky," McGee greeted the older man as he entered the room.

"Good afternoon, Timothy," Ducky answered, giving the young man a once over with his eyes. "I trust you are well?"

"I'm fine, Ducky. Yourself?"

"I'm fine as well, my boy." Ducky smiled at McGee and made his way over to Tony's bedside, pausing on his way to admire Nathaniel who was sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of the turmoil around him. "Hello, Anthony. How are you feeling today?" Ducky asked when he had reached Tony's side. The answer was painfully clear. Tony's complexion was unnaturally pale and lines of pain etched his face.

"Hey, Ducky. I'm good," Tony uttered hoarsely. "How are you?"

Ducky had to fight to keep his composure. "Anthony. I have known you for a very long time and I think you and I can both agree that you most certainly are not good. In fact, I would say you are feeling the opposite of good."

"Well then, why did you even ask?" Tony retorted, making no attempt to hide his annoyance. He shifted in his bed and grimaced as a bolt of pain shot through his chest.

Ducky shook his head, entirely able to see why Jethro was as frustrated as he was. "Just out of curiosity…what exactly are you trying to accomplish?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ducky." Tony narrowed his eyes as he looked up at the older gentleman. "I'm just trying to recover so I can get out of the hospital and take care of my son."

Ducky shook his head at the answer. "Well we both know that's not true, unless you are also lying to yourself."

"Are you saying I don't want to get better?" Tony asked, raising his voice. From across the room, McGee shifted uncomfortably on the couch, wishing he was anywhere else but in that room.

Ducky sighed loudly. "I'm not sure exactly what to say to you, dear boy. All I know is that you are causing Jethro a great deal of pain at the moment. He thinks you are trying to punish him and I have no idea why you would want to do that." Ducky deliberately omitted Jethro's theory about Tony punishing himself.

"What?" Tony looked up at Ducky in surprise then lowered his eyes while biting his lower lip. "He…he said that?" he asked softly. He could feel the guilt beginning to gnaw at the inside of his stomach.

Ducky nodded. "He did. However, I know this can't be true. There is no reason why you would ever punish the man who dropped everything and flew to Italy at a moment's notice when you needed him…the man who cares about you as he would his own son…who would do anything in his power for you and your child." Ducky had a hard time getting the words out, knowing the effect they would have on Tony, but something needed to be done and this was the only thing he could think of which could possibly work.

The words did indeed hit home and all of the fight seemed to leave Tony at once. "You're right, Ducky," Tony said softly. "I…I would never want to punish Gibbs. He…he's done everything for me and Nathaniel." He hadn't even been thinking of Gibbs or how he might be feeling. He'd been acting irrationally and selfishly.

"So perhaps you will consider taking some pain medication?" Ducky asked. "I hear that your blood pressure is becoming quite out of control. It's nothing to be fooling around with, Anthony. You are not helping yourself…or your son."

Tony nodded. "Yeah…yeah, I'll take something…just nothing too intense. I…I don't want to be so out of it that I can't protect Nathaniel if I have to."

"Understood," Ducky said with a slight nod. However, he really couldn't imagine a scenario in which Tony would be put into that predicament, with both Gibbs and McGee on protection detail.

Ducky visited with Tony for a short while longer, smiling his approval when Tony remained true to his word and accepted some pain medicine from the nurse. He then left the room, promising to return the next day for another visit. Gibbs was still outside in the hallway, but was no longer pacing. Instead, he stood with his back against the wall, seemingly deep in thought. "Hey Duck," Gibbs said as he came out of his reverie to meet Ducky's gaze. "Any luck?"

A trace of a smile came across Ducky's face. "As a matter of fact…"

"Really?" Gibbs cracked a smile as well. "How did you manage that?" he asked, surprised by Ducky's success when he'd had no luck whatsoever getting through to Tony.

"Guilt," Ducky replied.

"Guilt?" Gibbs echoed then nodded. He could easily see how guilt would work on Tony though he wouldn't have thought to use that particular tactic in this case. "Nicely done, Duck. I'm grateful."

"I'm just glad I could help in some small way, Jethro," Ducky replied. "We both want what's best for Anthony. Hopefully, he will be a bit more cooperative now and his road to recovery will be a little less bumpy."

The two men chatted for a few minutes longer and then Gibbs excused himself to head back into Tony's room. He was eager to see for himself if the younger man's attitude really had changed.

xxxxx

"McGee…why don't you take a break," were the first words Gibbs uttered as he re-entered Tony's room. "Either get some shuteye or get out of here for a little while, whichever you need." The young man looked weary and Gibbs didn't want him getting rundown.

"Thanks, boss." McGee stood up and stretched. "I'll just take a walk and be back soon. Can I get you anything?"

"Maybe some coffee," Gibbs replied.

McGee nodded. "No problem, boss."

Gibbs watched as McGee left the room then walked over to Nathaniel's crib. The infant was still asleep and Gibbs gazed at him for a few moments, inwardly vowing once again to keep him and his father safe.

"Ziva?" The name, coming from Tony, drew Gibbs' attention away from Nathaniel. He made his way to Tony's bedside and was relieved to find him sleeping calmly. Whatever dream he was having appeared to be a pleasant one. At least Gibbs hoped that was the case. He could well remember his own vivid nightmares after Shannon and Kelly had been killed. He absently began fussing with the covers on Tony's bed, pulling them tighter around Tony, then smoothing them out. He stopped abruptly when he felt Tony's eyes on him.

"Sorry," Gibbs said, feeling like an overprotective mother hen. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," Tony said.

"You're looking a little better," Gibbs observed. It was obvious the pain medicine was starting to do its job.

"Yeah…I feel better too," Tony said, offering a slight smile. "Is Nathaniel asleep?"

Gibbs nodded.

"Listen, boss…I'm really sorry that I…well that I haven't been as appreciative as I should have been. I'm very grateful for everything you've done for me and I want you to know that I'm taking the pain meds now. I won't give you any more trouble."

"You haven't given me any trouble, Tony," Gibbs replied. He didn't want Tony beating himself up any more than he already was. "I'm just worried about you, that's all. I just want you to get well." He wondered about Tony's request for a weapon the day before. He hadn't yet done anything about. He was actually hoping Tony just wouldn't bring it up again. Although he had agreed to the request at the time, he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea.

"Yeah, well I…" Tony trailed off, suddenly exhausted, the pain medication working in alliance with his recent sleeplessness. "I think I'm going to try to sleep now." He allowed his heavy lids to close as he began to drift off.

"Best thing for you," Gibbs said gruffly. He sat with Tony, watching as his breathing evened out into a steady rhythm, and stayed beside him for a long while after.