Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

A/N: This is Part One of a two-shot, the other part entitled 'Selfish'. It's already written and will be posted as chapter two of this story sometime in the next few days when I have the time. Part Two is slighty longer and has stronger slash overtones than this one, though it is briefly hinted at here. Chapter two will have its own warnings and authors notes. I really hope you enjoy this fic in its entirety, and in its single parts. Personally, I prefer the second half, but I do hope you like this part too!

Warnings: A single swear word (starting with 'c' and ending with 'rap'), and slightly hinted at slash of the L/Light pairing.

Part One: Selfless

~.o.0.o.~

Light knows that L considers him to be a selfish, petulant child.

Or rather, L considers Kira to be such; but the distinction hardly matters because when all is said and done he isKira, and Kira is more him than the Light Yagami that his father and family know.

It is ironic that the nameless, faceless strangers over the internet appreciate him, see him more than the people who are supposed to know him the best. His family, his friends – counting only in the single digits and consisting of the names Ryuusaki and Misa – they see who they want to see; a picture perfect son, a devious homicidal megalomaniac, a flawless love. And there is pain in that; pain that belongs to a more selfish person than whom he strives to be.

L considers him to be selfish, but the truth is, Light is selfless.

Because if he was a selfish person he would let the world rot in its own stew of ignorance and violence. If he were selfish he would do something trivial with his life; become a computer hacker or a decoder or a world-class scientist; he would do something that didn't give justice to his intelligence but that would bring in the money anyway.

If he were selfish he would give up the entire Kira persona; forego the Death Note once again, losing all of his memories and becoming the simple Light Yagami who still fails to see the world for what it is; irredeemable, unsalvageable. If he were selfish he would allow himself to respect L – to admire him, challenge him, love him in a way that he knows he could if only he could allow himself to acknowledge that they are one and the same below all of the meaningless crap that makes them different.

But he isn't selfish; despite all logic he still believes that if he tries his hardest, if he beats the best, if he becomes something akin to God in that no one can challenge him, then and only then can he die and shout proudly, triumphantly; I have made a difference. It will be tiny and pointless, but for one glorious moment he will make the world ripple.

He isn't stupid. He isn't a naive idealist like L likes to believe. Nor is he an egotistical megalomaniac.

He is Light Yagami; he is Kira; he is the person that will stand up for the world when no one else will; when no one else can. He will stand proud in the face of the world's cries of hatred, bathe in the riotous approval of the uneducated masses and weep for none of the people whom he will fell in the path to a better world.

He won't even cry for the innocent, selfish boy who had been strong enough to love that had been shed so very long ago – like a costume,amask,anoldskin,apairofpantsgrowntoosmall – and is it just him or is somebody crying?

He had shed his love, his life so very long ago – all for the sake of a world that reviles him.

Sometimes he wonders what he wouldn't give for L to be right.

~.o.0.o.~

A/N2: So there's Part One; Part Two will have L's reflections. :) Should be up within the next couple of days.

Authors Request:Please leave a review! Any and all commentary is more than welcome, and creative criticism would be so helpful; halfway through this I decided to change the tense. Please let me know if i've missed something. ^.^

Thank you for reading!