The Truth

Stuart instantly twisted around to look at the doors; heart pumping adrenaline spiked blood through his veins. Murdoc however had been looking at the door since the moment he heard it creak and felt absolutely nothing. It was too much of a shock. They were never supposed to see her again. She was supposed to be gone, out of their lives forever.

Yet there she stood.

"Jocelyn Mead Shino."

"Murdoc Alphonse Niccals."

"Jocey!"

"Stuart."

She walked further into the study and literally collapsed herself down onto the small table with a smaller smile on her face.

Murdoc however stood up; his rum bottle dropped to the floor and tipped over spilling amber liquid. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked anger bubbling in his voice.

"Dear dear. It seems something crawled up your ass and decided to build a home. Why can't you be more like Stuart and be happy?" she asked shaking her head. A warning look from her eyes straight to the mentioned blunette stopped him from speaking and she watched as he pressed himself farther into the chair. Her eyes cut back to the bassist.

"That doesn't answer my question Jocelyn."

"I know. I'm here because I got bored back home and I wanted to see how you were doing. It's been months after all. Who knows if you'd suddenly died or were murdered by pirates? I didn't because you never tried to call."

"You never left a number!"

"And yet I've been where I have been ever since."

The two of them seemed to have some sort of death glare on each other. Unheard words travelling back and forth through their eyes. From the look he was giving his words were harsh and accusatory. From the look in her own the words were calming but stern. Each taking a side of the battlefield and neither giving in but neither trying to win. It was just a survival of the fittest; whichever could go longer earned the right to fight.

"S-So Jocey, wot brought yew 'ere?" Stuart asked trying to cut the tense thread that tied his best mate to his... He was confused of what to call her since the last time he'd seen her.

Her emerald eyes moved but Murdoc could tell she hadn't backed down because even though it subsided when she looked at Stuart he could feel the words rolling off of her. "Oh, I came to visit you both. I mean, it's been so long and I was missing you two so much I thought that I might as well use my next few free days to spend time with you guys," she answered her voice calm.

Seeing Stuart's face light up was well worth the nearly two day trip on the ocean minus the plane ride from her home to the dock where the boat waited. It was worth it because it was so full of innocence and pure joy that it just broke her heart. She'd missed that smile. So much more than she had thought she did.

And judging from the way her heart beat heavily in her chest when she looked back at a simmering Murdoc she knew she'd missed him too. "'D get out. Joce and I have some things do talk about personally," Murdoc stated still on his feet.

The singer looked to her and she nodded. He liked how her face was void of any worry. "Go on. I'll be okay," she encouraged. Stuart smiled at her and sent one last worried glance to his captor before hurrying out of the room and shutting the door again. He was relieved that the android did not but motion that he needed to follow it.

Murdoc sat back down and gestured for Jocelyn to take a seat on the more comfortable looking theatre chairs. She obliged and got up from her position on the table and grabbed one of the seats in the front row. Quickly she turned it so it was facing the forty-four year old and sat down in the same position Stuart had been in.

"So, why didn't you send me a letter?" he asked as he took a fag out of his pocket along with a lighter and lit up.

Emerald eyes snapped and pink lips parted for a sigh. "I had nothing to say to you. You already know everything; what more was there to say?" she said.

"Could've told me a way to contact you."

"And then what? We speak for two hours before we run out of material and not speak again for a month? I couldn't do that Mudsie, not with you."

She caught the fag he tossed to her and with her own lighter she lit up and dragged. "Besides, I think not speaking and coming to visit is well worth it, don't you think?" she added as she exhaled grey smoke.

The bassist appraised her for a moment before he shrugged and leaned back into his chair. "Dunno. I didn't get the chance to compare," he concluded passively. All the anger he felt towards her was beginning to fade away. He could never be angry at her for long; he'd just known her too long and liked her too much.

"I know this isn't why we had to speak. I'm not stupid. Just get to the point already so that we can drink this away and forget it ever happened."

"Fine. Why would you sleep with Stuart instead of me?"

Jocelyn smiled a little and dragged again letting silence swallow the room. She was going to let him sit in his own idea of why for a while before she said anything. Because she believed that he had to know somewhere in there; he had to understand. He had to know it wasn't because she didn't love him. He just had to.

Murdoc furrowed his brow and frowned. "Wow, great explanation you're giving."

"Is this really that important? Why does it even bother you that I don't want to have sex with you? You've got so many other women fawning over you all the time."

"Joce, it's important because we're JSM and you made it more JS than JSM."

"So it isn't about how you want to have sex with me at all then?" she questioned with a lifted eyebrow for more affect.

He shifted in his seat slightly uncomfortable. "Maybe it has a little to do with that," he conceded.

She shook her head slowly and dropped her chin onto her knees. "Fine. I slept with Stuart instead of you because I care about our relationship too much."

"What does that mean?"

"It means Murdoc that what we have right now means more to me than anything. I've been your friend for years and having sex with you would ruin it. We'd no longer be closer than just friends; we'd no longer be like brother and sister. It would add something we'd both expect and it would slowly tear us apart. I can't want something from you and slowly be torn away from you. It would kill me and I'd have to run before I regret ever knowing you. You're probably the only person I know who infuriates me to the point where I just want to kill you but gets under my skin so much I can't bear to think about life without you. You're like the most irritating but most addictive substance in the world to me right now. You're my best friend Mudsie. I can't lose you because of something so trivial as sex. It's pointless and stupid," she explained. In the after silence she put of the butt of her fag against the floor and tossed it into the ashtray next to Murdoc's chair.

She looked up at him and wasn't surprised to see that his face showed he – to his own shock – completely agreed. "You know that, that was the first fag I've had for five years?" she stated to lighten the sudden foul mood in the room.

The bassist chuckled and lit up another one. "I've always been able to get you to smoke at least one around me," he replied. His eyes lifted and suddenly the fag he had meant nothing because Jocelyn had a box in her lap with the word FAKE written across the top.

Jocelyn didn't miss the look in his eyes as she lifted a fag with a black line around the top and placed it between her lips. "Yes you have." She lit up and dragged slowly as if she was gaining some sort of satisfaction from it. When she exhaled it was aimed directly for the man sitting across from her. "So, you have nothing to say about the whole situation?" she asked before she tossed one to the nearly salivating man.

"Remember how we first met?" he asked quietly while he put out his fag and traded it for the one that had hit him in the face. Not that he minded because soon enough he'd be smoking it and that was all that really mattered. Smoking Jocelyn's fakes were all that ever mattered when they were around.

The woman rolled her eyes and sighed as if the question seriously annoyed her; but to the contrary it was one of her favourite stories. It always lightened her heart and made her laugh. Always reminded her of how much had changed between them. Always showed how much about them was different from the other. "Course I do. What kind of person would I be if I didn't remember how we first met?" She dragged leisurely and exhaled before she started the story they had always told together since the dawning of their friendship.

"It was at a party. I was only there because a mate of mine had invited me and they had free booze so I was all fuck it I'll go. When I walked in I passed a bunch of guys sitting on a sofa laughing like they'd been administered laughing gas or something. You were there but I paid no attention to you because drug addicts just weren't my thing."

"Yea, yea. I remember seeing you walk in. I was on the sofa between these two guys I used for crank and then you walked in, in this really short tight white dress. Damn, I thought you were hot. After you were gone though I told them all that you were the next person on my hit list. Then I did maybe two more lines and shit."

"M'hm. After maybe an hour I was going to leave but then I saw you again sitting by yourself looking like you were on planet Jupiter. I have to admit you were hot way back when; especially then with your clothes in disarray and what not. Anyway I went over to you and waited until you focused back in and said that you were going to die a gruesome death," she continued.

"And then I said like the smart-ass I am that I wasn't going to die because Beelzebub was looking out for me. I remember you had this look on your face like I was pathetic but interesting at the same time. I dunno, but it made me wonder if you cared about me in some way," he added with a drag.

"I didn't. But after you said that I decided to mention that Lucifer didn't give a shit about you and that the faster you died the better it would be for him because he'd have another soul in his captivity."

"Don't forget the part where you added fucking fucker to it."

"Of course not."

They both chuckled and Jocelyn got up from her seat and went to go curl up on Murdoc's lap just like she used to when they were younger. "Then I told you that I hoped you died and you told me that you would after you fucked me and we didn't see each other again for weeks," she finished with one last drag of her smoke.

Murdoc laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Until that day you invited me to go ganja shopping with you," he said. He felt her nod against his chest and he knew he felt absolutely guilty for hating her for what she did. "I'm sorry Love. You have to know that." She just had to because if she didn't he wouldn't be able to look at her or Stuart the same way.

"I do. It's my fault for not explaining the whole thing better. And I believe I should take this time to mention that when I last came to visit -"

"Don't. It's better if I just know that it happened. Not when." A thought suddenly blossomed in his mind and he grinned. "Is that why you let me get away with fucking his little girlfriend Paula?" he questioned.

"Oh no. I'd already slept with him long before that. I just hated her because she was a cheating, lying, sick, twisted, ugly bitch who needed to get the fuck out. The end result was just a bonus. Besides; it was fun because we both knew she totally wanted to. You made her dreams come true with that one," she offered. It was the truth too. She'd only wanted Paula gone because it was harming the entire niche. Paula had been tearing apart Murdoc and Stuart; Jocelyn had to see that it was fixed.

The door opened and emerald eyes looked into endless black. "Can I come in now?" Stuart asked hesitantly. He was surprisingly unbothered by the fact that she was sitting on his best mate's lap. Everything had been solved and everything would be okay.

Jocelyn beamed and nearly rocketed off Murdoc's lap; which nearly caused her to knock both herself and Stuart over when she finally got to him. "Of course my love. You can come in anytime you want," she said while she held onto his tightly with her face buried against his chest.

They would all be okay; she was going to make sure of it.