I couldn't resist writing this, okay?

"You look... hot."

"You look..." Mercedes seemed at a loss for words as she eyed me up and down. "No comment."

"Do I look scary?" I asked, attempting my best creepy-henchman face.

"...definitely."

"Good," I said, smiling.

"This corset is so uncomfortable," she whined as we made our way out of the bathroom and back to the auditorium for rehearsal.

"This bald cap is really itchy."

She laughed. "Alright, touché."

The minute we stepped foot in the auditorium, our jaws were on the floor. The entire auditorium had been transformed into Dr. Frank N. Furter's laboratory, complete with the elevator, red latch door, and tank from which Rocky Horror is born. Everyone was standing around, bitching and whining about their costumes. Santana and Quinn were fighting about who looked better as Magenta. Rachel and Finn were making disgusting lovey faces at each other, Rachel mimicking Susan Sarandon's "Oh, Brad!" perfectly. Tina and Brittany were practicing tap dancing up and down the stage, then falling on the foax-stairs. Artie was pinning on his mustache and practicing his best German accent. And then, my eyes fell on Sam.

Oh.

My.

GaGa.

I tried not to stare, I really did... but it was practically impossible. All he was wearing was a set of gold briefs - and boy, did he have the most beautiful body ever. Nevertheless, I forced my eyes away and reminded myself that the only person I was going to be kissing in this production was Quinn... gross.

"You guys look awesome!" Mr. Schue exclaimed, causing the chatter to die. "Now I'm gonna split you all into small groups to work on scenes. Alright, can I have Mercedes, Rachel and Finn over to stage left to work on the bedroom scene. Fantastic, alright, Artie and Tina go over to the piano and work on 'Eddie'. Brittany and Santana chill out for a few, and then Quinn, Sam and Kurt go upstage to work on the scene with the candelabra - wait, Sam, come here for a second. Alright, the rest of you, get to work!"

Of course. He assigned me the one scene I have with Sam. It would be difficult enough to resist staring, but I'd have to stare at him fawning all over Quinn? This was going to be a disaster.

"Have fun raping Finn and Rachel," I told Mercedes as she shuffled off. She shook her head and laughed.

"Good luck having elbow-sex with Quinn."

I rolled my eyes and made my way towards the stage. Quinn was sitting there with her arms crossed and her eyebrows furrowed.

I sat down next to her. "What's the matter... sister?"

She snorted. "Very funny. And nothing, I'm just... stressed."

I patted her shoulder. "I see."

She sighed, staring straight ahead without blinking. I stood up and offered her my hand. "Ready to make out?"

"What?" she exclaimed. "I thought I played your sister!"

"Oh, so you've never seen Rocky Horror," I inquired. "Well, yes, RiffRaff and Magenta are brother and sister, but it doesn't stop them."

"That's..." Quinn rolled her eyes. "That's ridiculous. What kind of play is this?"

"The kind about alien transvestites."

She laughed, digging her fingers in her frizzy red wig. "God, what has my life come to?"

"Alright, I'm back."

We turned around to find a much more... conservatively dressed Sam standing behind us - He now had a gold top to match his briefs. I was half disappointed, half relieved.

"What's all this?" Quinn asked, gesturing towards the top.

"Mr. Schuester said that just the briefs were, uh, too inappropriate," he chuckled awkwardly.

"Alright, shall we get to the scene?" I chimed in before this conversation went too far.

"Good thinking," he said, smiling. I tried to ignore the butterflies and buried my face deep into the script.

"So the scene starts off with Quinn and I cleaning, and you're chained to the bed," I said.

"Whoa, kinky!" Sam exclaimed, then immediately looked embarrassed. Words cannot describe how cute he looked when he blushed. Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Alright, places!"

Sam tossed himself onto the sofa, which was serving temporarily as the bed until we could get the other set made. Quinn nonchalantly pretended to mop the floor, and I made dusted the air.

"Alright, then we, quote-unquote, 'exchange and evil glance'"

I raised and eyebrow at her, trying to look as creepy as possible, while she stared at me blankly.

"Okay, then I walk over to you, Sam, and I poke you with a candelabra."

"You poke me with a what?"

"A candelabra," I repeated. "You know, with candles? Oh, and it says here that you're supposed to be lying on your stomach."

"Oh, uh, alrighty then." He flipped over, looking up at me and grinning as if he was expecting some sign of approval. I nodded quickly, trying to ignore all the images his position was giving me.

I looked around for something I could use for the candelabra, but found nothing, and ended up grabbing Quinn's mop. Carefully, I nudged Sam's back with the tip, paranoid that I would make him uncomfortable and he would take off running and never talk to me again.

He sat up. "Cool, what do I do now?"

"Well, you're scared," I explained. "There's fire on the end of this thing. And remember, you were born, like, four hours ago. You don't know what it is, but it's hot and it's scary. Let's try it again."

I poked him again, and he sat up quickly, then stopped and stared at me. Eager to coax some reaction of of him, I jerked the mop at him, hissing like a snake. His mouth dropped open slightly. What was he doing? I hissed louder, moving closer and closer and jabbing the mop near his face.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"I'm scaring you!" I yelled, frustrated. "There's fire on the end of this thing! I'm poking it near your face! You're scared!"

He continued to stare at me, dope faced, like a deer in the headlights. "Wait, huh?"

"Are you listening to me?"

"What? Oh, n-no, sorry," he avoided my eyes. "It's just, your costume is really distracting."

Oh, the irony.

"Alright, we'll work on that part more tomorrow," I said. "Now you take off running, and I make out with Quinn."

"Okay, cool," he said, grinning, then jogging upstage and standing in the wings.

Okay, cool? I just said I was going to make out with his girlfriend, and he says "Okay, cool." This kid was really, really strange.

Alright, I'm stopping here for tonight. Next (and probably last) chapter tomorrow. Review!