OKAY, So if anyone actually cares about this story I'm actually really sorry.
I had the world's most disgusting case of writer's block that I am still trying to get away from, so in the mean time please accept this horrible update as a peace offering.
I warn you, it is a rather pathetic excuse for a chapter but its over 500 words, so-
Disclaimer: Beginning idea for this story from Opalish's Scorpius Malfoy and the Improbable Plot [which needs to be updated]
If I owned Harry Potter I wouldn't be here writing crappy fanfiction.
It was a quiet day at Potter Manor. Well, as quiet as it ever got of course. Ginny was savouring the almost-quiet before a storm. Rose, Hugo, Fred, Roxanne, Victoire, Dominique, Louis, Scorpius and Teddy were supposed to be coming over.
"One more hour," said Harry rushing around, "I have one more hour to get the hell out of this house-"
"Oh no, you don't," Ginny hissed, grabbing his arm, "If I have to suffer you have to suffer with me."
"I took them last week," Harry begged.
Ginny raised an eyebrow.
"I did!" he insisted.
"And I have them the rest of the damn year," she reminded him.
"I'm running an Auror office filled with sadistic, law-upholding toddlers!"
"Harry," she growled.
"Ginny," he replied.
"James!" a voice squealed.
They jumped and spun around to see their eldest vault into the kitchen.
They both stared blankly at him.
"What?" he said, breaking out of his superhero stance and crossing his arms, "Lily was being creepy and Al is brooding in his room, so I decided to be totally awesome down here!"
"… Can I go now?" Harry pleaded.
"No. If you leave me here with them I'll end up killing our children."
Harry paused. Freedom? Or his children? Freedom…
He sighed, "Fine, fine."
"Good," Ginny said smugly.
"Potter,"
"Malfoy,"
"I still don't understand how this is happening,"
"Don't worry," Harry answered drily, "I don't either."
The two men watched their sons hunched over a stack of suspicious papers, probably plotting.
"It's like the universe is spitting on us," Harry observed.
Draco nodded and walked away, they could only be in the same place for so long before the urge to hex each other into oblivion became too much.
Ginny smirked at their thinly veiled discomfort around each other and turned to see what the rest of her large dysfunctional family was doing.
"Bloody hell," Hugo whispered, poking at a suspicious-looking blob with his wand.
"I know right?" Lily nodded triumphantly, pleased with herself, "I'm pretty sure if I show it to Uncle George he'll help me blow it up or something."
Ginny decided she really did not want to know what the blob was.
And then somebody bombed her kitchen. The entire house shook, Al and Scorpius steadied their papers, Harry and Draco collided and swore, Lily's blob disappeared under the table and Ginny almost crashed into the bookcase.
"JAMES. SIRIUS. POTTER," Ginny screamed.
"It wasn't me!" a voice called back from the kitchen. There was a sound of something breaking and other voices in the background cursing loudly.
"Ruddy bombs- faulty-" Louis was growling.
"Shut up, idiot. They're not faulty and you know it," Fred said back defensively, they had gotten them from his dad.
"They detonated ten minutes early!" Louis retorted, coughing.
"Just -cough- shut up and-" James collapsed in a coughing fit and Fred smirked, conjuring a glass of water for him.
"Scourgify," James muttered, taking the glass.
Ginny couldn't wait for this day to end so she could have her house back to herself and Merlin, why did her kids have to be the social type, anyway?
"Where'd it go," Lily cried, dragging Hugo down to look for the blob with her. She absolutely could not lose that thing. It was going to make her filthy, stinkin' rich.
"This is pretty cute," Victoire said, holding up a pencil skirt to her waist, experimentally.
"This is cuter," Dominique insisted, holding up a pleated skirt.
"They look the same," Rose moaned despairingly, "Can I go now?"
"No," they answered in unison.
The door to Lily's room slammed open and Roxanne practically flew in, "Did you miss me?"
"If I say no-" Rose started.
"I'll take it as a yes," Roxanne said, draping herself onto Lily's bed.
"Where were you all weekend?" Dominique asked, throwing the pleated skirt in Victoire's face.
"Hey-"
"Oh, I was visiting mom's parents." Roxanne blew a chocolate brown curl out of her eyes.
"The muggles? In Jamaica?" Dominique and Victoire were much more interested in a tropical island with beaches and boys, than in what skirts to wear next week.
"It was fantastic! And so warm, Merlin, its cold up here," Roxanne grinned smugly at them.
"Yeah, yeah," Rose muttered.
"And it was pretty much overpopulated with cute guys," she added.
"You hate us," Dom hissed.
"Shove it in my face why don't you?" Victoire huffed.
"You've both already got boyfriends," Rose reminded them.
"Doesn't mean we can't appreciate the eye candy," Dom smirked at Rose.
Rose would much rather be appreciating her eye candy downstairs, but since when did her cousins care whether or not she wanted to be forced into clothes by fashion gurus?
"Oh my god, that skirt!" Roxanne squealed.
"I know right?" Dom and Victoire chorused.
"Garble," Rose buried her face in the pillow.
Just because its horrible does not give you an excuse to not review. :')