A/N: This outtake was originally written for the Texas Wildfire Relief fundraiser.I live in a small town in Texas less than 20 miles from the Bastrop fires over Labor Day weekend. This was very personal to me.

This outtake is Carlisle's pov following chapter 22 from Creating a Mate. This o/t takes place at the same time Edward is hunting Bella in the maze. No one is aware what Carlisle' suspected when he left the house.

Song: Demons by Brian McFadden

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight and its characters. I only play with them for my own amusement.

My thanks goes to MarchHare5 for jumping on board to beta this for me at the last minute. I forgot to give her credit when the compilation posted. Shame on me!

Sins of the Past

Carlisle's POV

There's a theory of six degrees of separation. It basically theorizes you can connect any two people in six steps, or 'a friend of a friend' introductions. It's probably one of the most fascinating theories to see in action.

So many decisions made over the centuries by random individuals have brought us to this particular moment in time. Our six degrees have finally come together—each individual left or right turn at that fateful point in our lives—all culminating in Bella.

A vampire's decision to turn Alice and leave her on her own, so that she made her way to my family. Perhaps if he had stayed with her she would have never had a reason to come across Bella in her visions.

Bella's mother's decision to walk away from her imprint and try to make a life with Bella's father. If she'd chosen Joshua Uley, Bella wouldn't be with my son. She would have been raised on the reservation, outside our territory and completely off-limits. And knowing what I know now, I have no doubt she would have found her imprint. She's too special of an individual to ever live an ordinary human life.

Bella's father's decision to try and save an unsalvageable marriage that took them on that fateful family vacation—because I have no doubt that was the moment in time he contributed to our six degrees. Even if he'd chosen a different destination—chosen right instead of left—we wouldn't be here.

The vampire who turned me instead of killing me. If I hadn't been created we wouldn't be here today. Edward would have died his natural death from the Spanish influenza.

Edward's decision to find a human mate, which led my family back to Forks—to Bella.

The final decision behind door number six that led us to this moment is the one in question. The one I fear.

Even with everyone's individual contribution, I know the burden of guilt rests on my shoulders. I am responsible for what was set in motion centuries ago. If I had known then what I know now, would I have chosen to turn left instead of right? Or would fate have still laughed at my efforts to outrun my guilt?

I've been alive over three hundred and fifty years if you count my human life. If I could sleep I'd go to my bed at night knowing I've done well this day. I've saved a life, helped a fellow man, and contributed my vast knowledge and wealth to aiding others.

I am not a monster.

If I could sleep I know the brick and mortar of the life I have built would crumble and give way to the truth. The very foundation of the life I live now was laid upon the sins of my past. I'm relieved that I will never sleep again.

I am a monster.

The screams of the past remind me every day. I may not sleep, but I still remember every face, every scream, and every death. All in the name of science. All in the name of the greater good.

I reconciled my conscience back then with the knowledge that they were destined to die anyway. They were nothing more than cattle to slaughter to those around me. I was merely detouring their ultimate destiny for a brief time. If I were successful in my endeavors, how many souls would I save for the price of their sacrifice?

What I did then is why I live the life I do now. I have a century of evil to atone for.

I stand in front of the window in my office on the fourth floor of the Forks Community Hospital and watch the rain falling outside. Dark clouds brighten briefly with a flicker of lightning, followed by a distant rumble of thunder.

Rain holds such power. It's necessary for vegetation to grow. It fills lakes and oceans. Without rain crops and animals would die. After the rain, the air is fresh and clean. Dirt and grime are washed away. I only wish it had the power to cleanse my soul.

The clock on the wall keeps up its constant ticking, marking the passage of time. Time has never been something my kind has given much thought to once we shake off our former human perceptions. Sickness and old age can't touch us. We are immortal. Death only comes at the hand of another immortal. Our physiology is made to withstand the test of time, time we need to save our souls.

I listen to time pass, knowing exactly what I am doing. I am delaying the inevitable. I don't want to make the phone call that will solidify my fears. I am afraid to face my past and see the truth.

Behind me on the desk are three medical files: Charles Thomas Swan, Renee Abigail Higginbotham Swan, and Isabella Marie Swan. Charles Swan's file documents normal human ailments over the years and tetanus shots every few years. He had a problem with gallstones a few years back, but the diet laid out by his physician seems to be working. Renee's file ended when she divorced Bella's father and moved away, but it is also normal, other than that she has the same rare blood type as Bella's.

Bella's file is thick, and the more I read, the more I am filled with a sense of foreboding. Something nagged at the back of my mind when I read her file the first time after Edward announced she is his mate, something so subtle and vague, that even I missed it. I compare her file to the tests I ran on her this morning and almost overlook it again.

From every appearance Bella is a normal teenage girl. She was born and raised in Forks, only leaving for summer vacations and every other Christmas to spend in the various places her mother lived, until she stopped visiting four years ago. Her immunization chart is consistent and current. Even the documentation for a splinter removal when she was eleven years old from an ER in Kentucky is included. Bella's parents have been diligent about their daughter's health.

That's when I realize what that nagging problem is. Up until age four, Bella suffered the normal childhood ailments of coughs, flu, ear infections, et cetera. There were two entries in four years for playground injuries: a split lip when another child tripped her and a scraped knee that required two butterfly bandages when she jumped off the jungle gym in the park.

The only serious illness I found in her file was of a hospital stay for meningitis at a small hospital in Alaska when she was four. According to the attending physician, she became ill during a family vacation and spent a month in the hospital before she was released.

After age four the entries consisted of more sprains and scrapes than would be considered normal. She's broken both arms and fractured her right wrist at least three times. She broke her right leg two years ago and her left ankle just last winter. The last entry was a month ago for a wrenched knee when she fell getting out of her truck.

There was an entry from one concerned doctor who suspected child abuse. An investigation showed no evidence, and his concern was unfounded. Each entry noted that Bella had felt dizzy before tripping or falling. Neurological tests revealed nothing out of the ordinary. The conclusion was Bella was just extremely clumsy.

The first time I read through her file I missed it. It's not what's in her file, but what isn't. She wasn't clumsy before she had meningitis, and she hasn't been sick since. That single event was the catalyst.

What no one seemed to realize is that something was causing those dizzy spells, something so carefully hidden it didn't show up on normal tests and wouldn't be found unless you knew to look for it. It's the one subtle difference between her mother's chemistry and hers. It's why she suffers from dizzy spells—it isn't natural.

I keep my back turned on my office, unable to turn around and face the truth. I have always sought the truth. Science and medicine fascinate me. My thirst for knowledge is almost as great as my thirst for blood. I have used my resources to advance the research in fighting the diseases that have plagued humanity for centuries. I've fought long and hard to leave the past behind and to use my extensive knowledge for good.

How could I possibly know that the past would come back to haunt me—haunt my son—in such a profound way? It was all a pipe dream over three hundred years ago, dreamed up by a lonely vampire with nothing but endless time on his hands to carry on philosophical discussions and debates with his mentor. How could I know after all my failures that he would continue where I left off and find a way to make them a reality? Why didn't I destroy everything before I left?

A vampire's mind is an endless vault of information collected over its existence. We wake into this life, having little or no recollection of our human lives, so our brains become a sponge for information to fill the void. I maintained fragments of my father's sermons of fire and brimstone, though his face is lost to me.

I remember every moment of my vampire life. I remember every place I've lived, every sight I've seen. I remember every experience I've had in this existence. I remember changing and guiding each of my children in this new life I've given them.

I remember the first time I laid eyes on the beautiful, blue-eyed girl who would become my mate and wife. I remember what she was wearing when she was brought into the hospital the first time I met her and again ten years later when she was dying from her attempted suicide. I remember suffering through her agonizing change, praying there was another way—a way to change my mate that didn't require her to suffer just so I could keep her for eternity.

Some memories I wish I could erase.

I remember the face of the demon that ended my human life. I was consumed by fire and pain the likes of which I hope never to feel again. I descended into Hell those three days, thinking I'd done something wrong in my life to warrant spending eternity in Hell, only to rise again three days later a new creature, a creature consumed with the desire to devour and destroy. My father's preachings of fire and brimstone haunted me during those first few weeks while thirst ate at my sanity. When I stumbled across that lone deer and slaked the edge from my thirst I had my epiphany.

Much like our Savior had faced Hell for three days, taking the world's sins upon His shoulders, to rise again and sit at the right hand of His Father, I had done the same. Only my father died of old age and sickness. I would use this new life as a second chance to do his work. It took several years to learn how to live in this new life and control my thirst for human blood. I traveled to Volterra, Italy, wanting to share my ideals for salvation with the ruling coven of our race.

I wrongly thought making the choice between human and animal blood was the solution to helping others of my kind find their humanity again and saving their souls. I was arrogant and filled with self-righteousness when I faced Aro, Marcus and Caius on their thrones. It was humiliating to learn just how little I really knew. I was fortunate that Aro had found humor in my arrogance as opposed to offense. Any other day I would have been destroyed within seconds of spouting my rhetoric.

Aro taught me the truth of our existence. Our choice of blood source wasn't the problem with maintaining our humanity. I remember standing in front of a painting of Marcus with his wife Didyme. The man in the painting bore no resemblance to the broken man I knew. The artist had captured the complete love and devotion Marcus felt for his wife, and that look was returned in her face as she gazed up at him. Aro explained how she was killed by a Romanian coven intent on overthrowing the Volturi.

"That is how we keep our humanity, Carlisle, not by blood," he'd explained, pointing at the painting before us. "You're still young, barely fifteen years in this life. You think you know everything, but you are nothing more than a child. I am seven hundred years old. You have so much to learn before you can fully grasp what it means to live."

He jabbed his finger at my chest where my heart used to beat. "Even humans understand better than you. Do you feel that ache, that twinge of discomfort that is lodged in your chest cavity?" At my nod, he continued. "That ache doesn't ease just because you drink the vile blood of an animal, does it? It's always there, reminding you of its unfulfilled need," he sneered. "That is your beast! That is your monster to be slain! Not the blood. The blood is only sustenance, but that ache is your very life. Your beast cries out for its mate to soothe its restless prowl. It cannot rest until that mate is found. Over the years it will grow hungrier, angrier, at being denied its other half. It will rattle its cage until it consumes you or finds peace."

He led me back into the throne room, obviously done with the conversation, giving me time to mull over his words. Aro and his brothers were hearing complaints and presiding over several vampires being brought to justice for crimes against the laws the brothers had established. A nomad was facing death for destroying a small nearby village, killing all the inhabitants save one: a human female who was in the final stages of the change. Her pain-filled screams could be heard echoing through the halls. The nomad was over three hundred years old; I could see the insanity blazing in his crimson eyes.

He faced an automatic death sentence at Aro's hand. Vampires suffering from madness couldn't be controlled or contained. They were a menace to humans and vampires alike and threatened our secrecy. But as I observed the proceedings I began to see a difference with this particular vampire. There was no mistaking the mark of insanity, but there also seemed to be a single-minded purpose to it.

He was being held by three guards who were clearly having trouble restraining him. His growls were dark and filled with utter rage, yet his focus remained on the door that had been closed behind him and not on what was happening in front of him.

Aro approached him cautiously as the guard holding his head tightened his grip. Aro closed his eyes when he touched his forehead, and I knew he was seeing the vampire's memories and the truth of the crime he was accused of.

I expected Aro to tear the insane vampire's head from his shoulders the moment his eyes snapped open again, but this was not the case.

"Are you certain?" he asked, clearly shocked by what he read in the vampire's mind.

The growl the vampire gave in response was filled with more rage and warning than I'd ever heard uttered by any creature living or undead. His eyes turned black as night and narrowed to mere slits as he faced his executioner. The guards holding him shifted slightly and looked to Aro with concern. I didn't understand the instinct that growl stirred inside me, but even I shifted back a step, though I was already across the large room.

Aro took a moment to look around the room at the rest of the guards present before setting his sights on a small female guard near the door and nodded to her. She was a young vampire, with probably only a handful of years in this life.

"Bring her," he ordered. The female guard bowed and left the room in a rush to do her master's bidding. Aro turned back to the vampire before him. "The guards will release you, but if you make a single aggressive move I will end her," he warned.

Another growl was his only answer. Aro returned to his high-backed throne, but instead of sitting again, he stood with his wife held firmly against his back. Caius was standing in similar fashion, while Marcus looked even more lost and anguished than usual, if that were even possible. The screams of the human grew louder, indicating they were just outside the door. The guards released their prisoner when the doors opened and moved swiftly away toward the three thrones to protect Aro, Marcus and Caius.

The vampire rushed to the human girl being held roughly by the female guard, her screams echoing against the stone walls. The guard dropped the writhing human on the marble floor in front of her and sneered at her pitiful form. She didn't even have time to raise her head again before the vampire tore it from her shoulders.

It was a stunning sight, seeing the violence he unleashed on the female guard one moment and the tenderness with which he picked up the girl from the floor the next. A gentle rumbling filled the room, reminding me of the large tabby cat that roamed the halls, chasing and eating mice. Its purrs would fill the room when it was content. The girl was still screaming, but she seemed slightly more at ease now that she was in his arms.

Another guard took a step in his direction, and a deep growl began to build again in his chest. He was warning the guard not to come closer. His eyes scanned the room, then he moved swiftly to a defendable position near one corner before turning his attention back to the girl in his arms.

My eyes were riveted on the vampire who'd calmed tremendously now that his focus was on trying to help the human girl through the last few hours of the change. We all waited, for what I didn't understand; but the others in the room seemed to know. When the final stutter of her heart ceased, the air became charged with anticipation. She gasped, her lungs filling with unnecessary air, and her eyelids fluttered open. The vampire purred, touching her face reverently.

"Mine."

I expected the girl to respond in terror at the unknown, much like I had upon my own awakening. Instead she lay there, calmly staring up at him, until her hand fluttered at her side and she reached up to touch his face hesitantly. He purred in response, and she smiled shyly at him.

The ache in my chest became a little sharper, and I found myself longing for someone of my own to care for with that intensity. I looked at Aro and Caius, each still holding their wives, the soft sounds coming from their own chests, and I finally understood.

Blood was a choice. Finding our mate was a necessity.

I release a heavy sigh, fogging the window with my cold breath, and shake my head, clearing my mind of the memory. I still feel sorrow when I think about them. The guards took him by surprise while he was focused on his small mate and tore him apart in front of her. She followed him into the fire when no one thought to restrain her.

Aro explained that, though he appeared calm in those few moments with her, the madness had already taken hold and he would always be unstable and a threat.

"What if there were a way to find mates for vampires before they became insane and violent?"

That one simple, rhetorical question set everything in motion. I rub my forehead tiredly, even though actually being weary as a vampire is impossible. I need answers, but I don't want to cause a panic without cause. I keep telling myself that until I have all the facts it's only speculation.

I dial my longtime friend, Eleazar, and hold the phone to my ear, waiting for him to answer.

"Carlisle! What a pleasant surprise. I didn't expect to hear from you so soon. You were just here a couple of months ago. How are Esme and your family?"

"Hello, Eleazar. Esme and the family are doing well. We're still settling in. Thank you for asking," I reply. I purposely keep our location vague.

After exchanging pleasantries for a few minutes, I guide the conversation to find the answers to my suspicions.

"—you should have witnessed the celebration that took place when I returned to Volterra with news of our first successful candidate. The bloodbath went on for days. They heralded your name, likening you to a savior for our kind."

"You've had an actual success? The subject didn't die?" I swallow hard, stunned, and wait for his answer. They always died. It's why I had to stop. Their blood stains my hands even today. "She—she lives?"

His own heavy sigh filters through the phone before he answers. I had met Eleazar in Volterra. He had been a high-ranking member of the guard whose purpose was to screen the humans that held potential gifts from those brought in for feeding purposes only. He'd also assisted me in selecting potential prospects for my efforts.

He and his mate Carmen had joined the Denali coven about thirteen years ago when they left the Volturi with Aro's blessings. He never speaks of what caused the break with Aro, and I don't like talking of the past any more than he does, so I never ask.

"Aro had me touring different countries acting as a vacationing pediatric physician. I would introduce myself to the staff and scout out potential subjects in the pediatric wards. If I found one that met the preliminary guidelines then the tests would begin to see if the subject was a viable candidate. If they were, then we'd inject the marker and fight against their body's subsequent rejection of the foreign element."

I hear his shuddering breath through the phone and know he is seeing the past. For me, that nightmare took place in a different time and place, but still holds the same sense of horror.

"God, Carlisle, what we put that poor child through was unconscionable. I just couldn't do it any longer. They were getting younger all the time. Aro theorized they needed to be found when they were young, before they were tainted. I don't know if that's true or not, because all the others died. They still don't know why it worked that one time. It had never worked before and hasn't worked since, as far as I know."

My next question has to be worded just right to avoid raising suspicions. I may still be wrong, though I know I'm not.

"So they're raising a human girl in Volterra surrounded by vampires? How exactly does that work? Do they just line up male vampires until a mate is found for her?" I ask cautiously.

"You know Aro better than that, Carlisle, even if it has been two centuries since you were in Volterra," he chuckles darkly. "There's purpose to everything he does. To answer your first question, no, she isn't in Italy. She should be around seventeen now, living a normal human existence, and has no idea what's taking place inside her. She's literally a living, breathing, incubating vampire. No one knows what will happen for sure when the transformation begins because we've never had one make it this far. They've all died within days of being injected with the marker. Their body chemistry is altered by the marker so that they can be traced when the time comes to bring them together with a mate. The side effect to the marker is that their blood is so potent to an unmated male that it would cause an absolute frenzy if she were kept in Volterra."

"What triggers the transformation to begin?"

"What else? Venom. Remember, this is all theory now, because she's the only subject to live long enough to get to this point, but theoretically once venom is introduced into the blood stream the marker will bind with that venom, creating an unbreakable bond. It's how Aro hopes to control the nomads. He's giving them the opportunity to find mates before the madness begins. He's convinced someone to prove his theory that it works, too."

"Who?" I croak. This is so much worse than I originally thought.

"That I can't tell you, and I don't want to know either. I washed my hands of Aro and every vile plan that bastard has when I left Italy. I just want to live in peace with my mate. My success with that one child is the only reason he let Carmen and me leave. I have no idea who will be her mate. I do know whoever it is probably someone Aro already has highly placed in the Volturi. If this is successful, then they'll be the sign of his ultimate power. He'll be even more unstoppable than he is already. Who wouldn't side with a ruler who could deliver on the promise of a mate?"

He pauses and silence fills the line for a moment. The storm blowing outside my window and the clock ticking on the wall are the song of my guilt. Time has caught up with me and the storm of judgment is upon me.

"You're asking a lot of pointed questions about things you walked away from two hundred years ago. Why? Why now?"

"Because Edward has found your guinea pig."

My phone crumbles in my hand, effectively ending the conversation. What else is there to say after that?

Now the question is who is coming for Bella? Because someone will definitely be coming.

End Notes: Be sure to check out Legends, my companion short story to see how Renee fits into this mess.