AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Let me just warn you all that this is a very heavy chapter. It is full of hardship, tenderness and emotions that will greatly affect the characters themselves and everything that happens in the story from this point on. There is a lot of important things going on all at once in this one. I know that I am probably going to catch some backlash from at least a few readers who do not agree with where I am about to go here. This is where I remind you all that it is after all MY story. I am not trying to be harsh and I appreciate (and enjoy reading) all of the reviews and little messages you guys send me. I just ask that you keep it civil. Constructive criticism is fine, but unwarranted hateful or rude comments are inappropriate and will be deleted. I hate that I even have to say this, but there have been a few here and there that serve no other purpose than to be mean. I respect that we all have different opinions and I do not even mind suggestions as to where you might like to see the story go. But this is where I put my foot down.

Bottom line, it is my story. The way I see it happening is the way I write it. And if I write something you do not like or do not agree with, don't post hateful comments, simply close the page and stop reading the story. No one wants to read nasty and mean reviews on a story THEY still DO enjoy reading. Not every story speaks to every reader the same way. To be completely honest, the trouble I have had with reviews was not even on this particular story, this just happens to be the one I was updating when I felt the need to comment on the situation.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my updates and thanks to everyone who follows me as a writer and/or my work on this site. This particular update has a certain sentimental meaning to me. 5 years ago this November, I lost my niece to Shaken Baby Syndrome. Her case wasn't really like how I wrote it in the story, the babysitter shook her. Later the grand jury decided there was not enough evidence to prosecute the woman and a murder walked. There was no justice. And living with that gets harder every single day. So this chapter is in Loving Memory my niece, Cheyenne. We love and miss you like crazy, Chey-chey and will never ever forget you. Rest in peace, baby girl.

Now, on with the story!

The Sweetest Gift

(Chapter Ten: Million Dollar Baby)

Olivia shifted her eyes to stare at her shoes as she listened to the words the doctor had to say. She knew this was probably one of the most important moments of her life, yet she just could not bring herself to look him in the eye when he broke the news to her.

Three weeks after Tessa had been re-admitted to the hospital for treatment for her withdrawal symptoms, the baby had seemed completely fine and was discharged. This time with much better results.

Olivia returned home with her baby girl to once more attempt their new start at life. Within a few days she noticed her daughter had what appeared to be a slight cough and had spells where she was struggling to breathe normally. Fearing the worst and still not quite adjusted to being a new mother, Olivia quickly brought Tessa in to see her doctor. Turns out, her worst fears couldn't have prepared her for the news she was about to receive.

"Heart failure?"

Elliot's words echoed though the cold silence of the room.

"She's just a little baby. Are you sure?" he asked, squeezing her hand.

Olivia couldn't speak. Instead she sat frozen in fear as tears streamed down her face.

"Tessa was born with an under-developed heart and lungs. There were certain abnormalities from the start. We detected a slight murmur right after birth and were confident that it would heal itself in time."

"But it didn't?" Elliot asked.

"The murmur is still there, but that isn't our main concern at the moment. Tessa's tiny heart is much smaller than most babies her age. This alone causes it to have to work much harder to achieve the same functions as a healthy infant heart. We watched it closely while she was in the hospital and things seemed to be looking up for her. She was out of the woods. Out of danger as far as the function of her heart and lungs."

"She was? What changed?"

"It was a combination of many factors really. The strain of the drugs she was exposed to in-utero, being born prematurely before her little body was able to fully develop all of its organs and most recently, the effect of the medications she was given to ease her withdrawal symptoms and help her recover from the addiction she was born with."

"So the medicine you gave her to help her damaged her heart? Why would you give that stuff to a baby if it was going to harm her?"

"We used only very small doses of these drugs. These doses, on a normal sized infant heart without the complications that Tessa's already had would have had only very minor effects and caused no permanent damage. At the rate Tessa was improving, with her test results and by the information in her chart, we honestly didn't think it would harm her."

"But it has?"

"I believe this was the straw that broke the camel's back. The one more small thing that ended up being the one small thing too many."

"So how do you treat it? You can operate, right? Clear the blockage and then everything will be alright?" he asked trying to remain hopeful.

"In Tessa's case it is not a matter of blockage, rather than nearly half of her heart muscle appears to have pretty much died off."

Olivia's head shot up and she felt sick to her stomach.

"This is going to kill her?" she asked finding her words for the first time since they had arrived hours earlier.

"If we do not find a replacement, yes."

She gulped and shifted her attention to the baby girl in the hospital crib across the room.

"Your daughter is a very sick little girl, Ms. Benson."

"So what do we do?" Elliot barked demanding a solution.

"I want to contact UNOS and have Tessa's name put on the top of the transplant list. Unfortunately, the size of her tiny body makes it even more difficult to find a replacement organ. Even a child's heart would be too large. It must come from an infant fairly close to her age."

"That could take months, years even. How long does she have?"

"Right now only half of her heart is actually functioning. I would like to do a few more tests to see exactly how much of the cardiac tissue on her left side is still alive. With enough viable tissue, I believe I can put in a stent that may open up the main artery enough to provide better blood flow and buy her a little more time. Even then, if we do not find her a donor match in the next couple of weeks….I'm afraid there isn't really anything else we can do. Just wait and pray. We have already admitted her and I have her on machines that will monitor her heart rate and oxygen levels. I have asked the nurses to put her on oxygen, just as a precaution. Providing the extra air makes it easier for her to breathe without putting as much strain on her little body. It allows her heart and lungs to rest a little from working so much over time. I am going to let her rest for a little while. We will run some more tests in a few hours, we should know more then. The two of you are welcome to sit in here with her for a while, if you'd like. I think having mommy and daddy here helps keep her calm and content. I will send someone in with a bottle just as soon as we have completed our tests."

Olivia stood silently looking over her sleeping child. Once again she was at a loss for words. Elliot wrapped his arms tight around her as Olivia turned and buried her face in his chest and broke down.

"I don't understand it," she sobbed. "Why would God bring this baby to me if he was just going to take her away again?"

Elliot shook his head, unsure of what to say. He had no answers for her. No answers for the questions that bounced around inside his own mind either. He would do anything to help Olivia or this little girl and there was absolutely nothing that he could do. He felt so helpless. And more than anything in the world, he hated feeling helpless.

He held Olivia tight in his arms and did his best to comfort her as they both cried. There had to be something….some way for these doctors to save Tessa. It wasn't fair. This tiny little human who had barely just began her life, had one filled with so much struggle and pain. He watched as Olivia sat up and moved over to stare at Tessa from between the bars on the crib.

"I would do anything for her," she said in a hoarse whisper. "I would give her my heart….gladly. If it would work."

"I know you would," Elliot said softly. "So would I."

"I can't just give up on her. I won't."

She paused for a moment and looked over her shoulder at him.

"What are we going to do?" she whispered.

"We're gonna sit here with her. And spend every moment we have with her, letting her know how much we love her. Letting her know she isn't alone and that we are here for her always. And we are going to pray," he said brushing her hair back from her eyes. "All we can do is pray."

"How can we do that Elliot? When saving her means that someone else's baby will die….how can we do that?" she whispered as she began to cry once more.

"We can't give up hope, Liv."

Elliot slipped his arms around her and pulled her back into the chair with him. Olivia's breathing was jagged for a few moments as she tried hard to gain her composure.

"He called me her daddy," Elliot said as a smile crossed his face. "That doctor….he referred to me as Tessa's daddy."

Olivia smiled a tired smile.

"Well, you are the closest thing she has to one. And even that doctor can see how much you love her."

"I do love her, Olivia. I couldn't love her any more if she were my own."

"I know that. And so does she," she said studying Tessa once more.

Elliot sat there in the silence trying desperately to think of something he could do to help the situation. Then it hit him.

"Wait right here," he said standing and disappearing from the room.

"What…Elliot?"

"I will be right back," he replied kissing Olivia tenderly.

She waited in curiosity until Elliot reappeared with the priest from the hospital chapel.

"Elliot, what are you doing?"

"I'd like him to bless her."

"Bless her? Elliot, I'm not Catholic."

"I think God will make an acceptation," the man said softly.

"I don't know, El. Something about this doesn't feel right."

"What can it hurt, Olivia?"

"I don't want to do it."

"What?"

"It's like last rights or something and I'm not ready to give up on her," she said as tears streamed down her face.

"We are not giving up on her. We will never give up on her. It is simply another way of asking God to look over her. Asking him not to give up on her."

She looked down at her daughter, then turned her attention to the stranger once more.

"I guess it couldn't hurt."

They stood and watched as the man spoke softly to Tessa and the little baby girl opened her big brown eyes to look at him. Elliot slipped his hand around Olivia's and squeezed it, hoping that somehow this moment could bring as much comfort to her as it did to him.

The next afternoon as Elliot and Olivia sat in Tessa's hospital room waiting for test results, when there was a knock at the door. Olivia raised her head to see Fin standing across the room.

"Hey," she said with a smile.

"How's she doing?" Fin asked peeking over the rails at the sleepy little girl.

"She's been better. We are still waiting for some test results. But right now, our only real hope is heart transplant. So for now, we wait."

"Bless her heart. We've all been praying for her. After Elliot called and updated us last night, she's all we can think about. Such a sweet little thing."

"Thanks Fin."

"I also brought you guys some coffee. Starbucks, not that nasty $2.50 a cup junk from the machine. I figured you guys could use it. There are also a few of those blueberry muffins you like so much in the bag on the table."

"Thank you for coming by. It was really sweet of you," Olivia said standing to hug him.

"I've got to get going. I just wanted to stop by for a few minutes on my way to work. If there is anything else I can do, or anything you guys need….just let me know."

"We will, Fin. Thanks," Elliot said shaking his friend's hand.

They watched as Fin walked out into the hall.

"I wonder what's going on down there," Fin said as he stepped out into the hall. "Elliot, take a look at this."

Elliot stood from Olivia's side and stepped out into the hall. The outer walls of the hospital were made of tinted glass and two floors below them on the front lawn of the hospital a small crowd of about six or seven people had gathered.

"I wonder what's going on," Elliot asked.

"There's a news crew," a nurse said as she approached them. "I was actually coming to get you. It seems one of the local news teams had caught wind of little Tessa being here. They are camped out on the front walkway and are asking to speak to Ms. Benson."

Elliot scratched the back of his head.

"I really don't think that's such a good idea."

"Its okay, El," Olivia said from behind him. "We invited them in. We wanted to get her story out. Obviously it is out. They just want to know what is going on."

"I still don't think you should go out there."

"Maybe she doesn't have to," Fin said. "If you want to prepare a statement, I could talk to them for you."

"Okay," she agreed with a soft nod. "I just want to thank them for their support. Let them know that she has been added to the transplant list for a new heart. And that is really all the information I have to share with them right now."

"I'll take care of it," Fin said as he turned and walked down the hall.

"That is very brave of you," Elliot said and she raised her eyes to look at him. "To share something so private with a bunch of strangers."

"We asked them to care about her, Elliot. We opened up and told them her story. It only makes sense that people would like to know more about the little girl they were trying to help. Good or bad, I think they deserve to know."

"Yea," he agreed. "How are you doing with all of this? You have been pretty quiet today," he said squeezing her shoulder. "I know you have a lot on your mind. I'm here if you want to talk about it."

"Actually, there is something I would like to talk to you about," she said as he studied the sorrowful look in her eyes. "But not in here. Not around Tessa."

"Well, the nurses are changing her diaper and getting her cleaned up right now. They will be in there with her for a little while. Why don't we take a walk? Just around the halls."

"Okay."

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Olivia just couldn't take it anymore.

"Elliot, I'm sorry," she blurted out.

"It was a bad idea. If you want to go back, I understand."

"Not about that. I have been thinking all night, trying to find the easiest way to say this. But I'm not sure there is an easy way, so here it goes. That night when we first started dating, do you remember the talk that we had."

"About not letting our romantic feelings for each other get in the way of our friendship?"

Olivia tipped her head back and smoothed her hands over her face.

"I wasn't aware that we had," he said in a bit of confusion.

"I'm talking about the part of the conversation where I said that I wasn't sure it was the best time to start a new relationship. And we made a promise that no matter what happened in our romantic relationship, we would always be best friends.""

"Oh," Elliot said softly.

He scratched his head and forced a smile.

"So I am getting dumped?" he gulped.

"I am so sorry," she choked out as she began to cry once more. "I never meant to hurt you. There is just so much going on right now and I think that my focus needs to be on Tessa and her needs. I just can't handle a relationship right now. I am already feeling so overwhelmed with all of this. I am a horrible girlfriend. I never focus on you and what you need. All I think about is my daughter and myself and how everything in life affects us. I am completely selfish. I neglect you and your needs. When was the last time that I did anything for you? When was the last time I spent time with you, and only you? The last time we had a conversation without me checking my phone for updates from the nanny or the doctor on Tessa's condition? You spend every moment doting on me. Making sure that Tessa and I have everything we need and that we are taken care of. Focusing on me. And all I think about is myself and my life and what is going on with my daughter. I love you, Elliot. I love you so much. But I can't do this, not anymore. I just don't have the time in my life to be your girlfriend right now. A romantic relationship just cannot be one of my priorities right now. Maybe it just isn't in the cards for me. You are an amazing man with so much to offer and you deserve better."

"I don't want better, Olivia. I want you. I love you. And I love Tessa. Being a parent means always putting your child first. You have not done anything wrong. You are just being a good mother, I know that. I also know that this is the hardest time of your life and you are terrified of losing your little girl. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to be confused and overwhelmed, hell anyone would be in your situation. And you are not a horrible girlfriend, you are an amazing mother. Your attention is exactly where it should be right now. If you want to break things off because you are not in it anymore, because you don't love me, you don't care? But this is something completely different."

"That is the problem, Elliot. I'm not in it. I am everywhere else….to the point that I am about to go crazy. But I'm not here with you. Not the way that I need to be. Not even the way that I want to be. Like I said, I just can't do this right now. I really am sorry."

Elliot stared at her with tears in his eyes, still not believing what he had just heard.

"So am I," he said as he turned and walked away.

That night he sat alone in his empty apartment staring out the window into the night. A thunder storm had knocked out the power in his building and Elliot tuned in an old FM radio to the only one station it would pick up. He took another sip from his beer and laid back against the couch feeling sorry for himself as he closed his eyes and listened to one of those songs that just happened to say every word of that he was feeling.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
Will you let her go?

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

He opened his eyes once more and stared deep into the flicker of the candle on his coffee table. She was his light, his sun, his high, his home and there was no doubt in his mind that he loved her. He needed her. But if this was what was right for her, he had to let her go.

For two days he stayed away. Giving her space, he told himself. He got his updates on Tessa's condition through mutual friends, but not being there with her through this was killing him inside.

"You can do this," Elliot said staring at himself in the rearview mirror. "If she needs you, if she wants you there, she will call you."

He climbed from the car and headed into work. It was still pretty early and the squad room was empty save for him. Elliot started a pot of coffee then took a seat at his desk and turned on his computer. A broken heart isn't fatal and it was time he got back to work. But there, across from him sat her desk.

"I didn't think I'd see you here today," Cragen said from behind him.

Elliot cleared his throat in an attempt to regain a little pride and self-dignity.

"I work here. Why wouldn't I be here?"

"This is a big day. I just assumed you'd be with Olivia at the hospital."

"What's going on?"

"Haven't you talked to her?"

"Not in a few hours," he lied. "What is going on?"

"Tessa's transplant is this morning. Olivia called me at three o'clock this morning to tell me."

"They found a donor?"

"How do you not already know this?" Cragen asked.

"Well….I mean, I just wasn't sure it was all going to work out," Elliot lied again as he backed out of the room. "Listen, Captain, I am gonna need another day off. If that's alright."

"It's fine. Go," Cragen said motioning toward the door as Elliot turned and ran down the hall. "I am not even sure I want to know why he is acting so weird today," he mumbled as he turned on his office light to start his day.

Elliot stopped only for a moment upon entering the hospital, then he was on his way once more. The elevator was taking too long so he ran up the two flights of stairs and practically slid around the corner as he entered Tessa's hospital room.

Olivia turned to look at him and he could see her eyes were all red and puffy from crying.

"God, what happened? Where is Tessa?" he asked just now noticing her hospital bed was empty.

"They just took her back for surgery," Fin said as Olivia stared at him.

"Fin why don't I go get us all some coffee? And give the two of you a chance to talk." Fin said picking up on the tension between the two of them.

"You brought a bear?" Olivia asked studying the animal in his hands.

"I know she has like thirty of them, but I thought this one could keep her company until she gets to go home."

"I'm sure she'll love it. Thank you."

"I wasn't sure you'd want me here," Elliot said after several more minutes of painful silence.

"I need you here," she whispered as she broke into tears and threw herself into his arms.

"Why didn't you call me?" he asked as she sobbed against his chest.

Olivia raised her head and looked into his eyes.

"I thought you were angry with me. Fin said he would make sure you were updated on Tessa's situation. I guess I figured you would come around when you were ready to. But this morning when that doctor told me that they had found a donor….you were the first person I called."

"I never got a call, Olivia."

"I left you at least six messages. I have been trying to get ahold of you all night. I knew you were hurt and angry, but I thought that if you got just one of my messages….maybe you would come."

Elliot slipped his hand into his pocket and looked at his phone.

"It's dead," he said shaking his head. "But I'm here, Liv. I am here," he said hugging her tight.

"The doctor said it can take anywhere from four to twelve hours for the transplant surgery. Or longer," Olivia explained as Fin handed her a cup of coffee.

"This donor, do you know anything about them?"

"It was because of the press release. That news reporter put the update about Tessa's condition on air that night. The next afternoon our doctor came in and said that he had been contacted by another hospital. It seems there was a woman whose little boy was on life support and she was insisting her son be tested as a possible match for Tessa. It all happened so quickly."

"And he was a match?"

"Yes. Her son was completely brain dead and was surviving solely because of the machines. She was choosing to take him off life support, but she wanted to donate his organs. They were worried about damage to the tissue if they transported the heart, so they used an AirVac team to transport the baby and his mother here to do the organ harvest. They are taking the heart directly from him and putting it into Tessa. So I imagine it is going to take a while."

"The baby's mother is here?"

"Yea. And apparently she wants to meet me. But I don't really know if I want to meet her. Don't get me wrong, I will forever be grateful for the gift she has given us. I am just not sure I can face her."

"That is understandable," Fin said.

"And now I am hiding out here in Tessa's room waiting for them to complete the surgery because I know that she is in the waiting room down the hall."

"It's okay. We will wait here with you," Elliot replied.

"At least I'll be in good company," she responded with a smile.

A few hours later Olivia was feeling a bit restless. She walked out into the hall and stared out the window for a moment. As she stood there a team of doctors walked out with three coolers and boarded the elevator headed for the roof.

She raised her head and looked around for someone who might have some word on Tessa's condition. As Olivia turned around she saw her. A young woman in her late twenties with long dark hair and grey eyes, staring back at her. For a moment they just stared at each other, but Olivia knew exactly who this woman was.

"You are Tessa's mother, aren't you?" the woman said in a soft voice.

Olivia couldn't speak, all she could do was nod.

"I'm Erica," the woman said extending her hand as she introduced herself. "Erica Pratt. My son, Cooper, was your daughter's heart donor."

"I am very sorry for your loss," Olivia said softly.

"Cooper's part of the surgery is complete. They just shipped out the rest of his organs. Now all that is left is Tessa's part."

"It is a wonderful thing that you have done. I can only imagine how hard this must be on you."

"My baby was gone. My eight month old son was murdered four days ago when my husband lost control and shook him because he wouldn't stop crying. The doctors did everything that they could to try and save him but it was no use. After the first day it was obvious that the damage to his brain was too severe and the doctor told me he would never regain consciousness. Tests had shown that his optical nerves were severed and if he did live it would only be because the machines were keeping him alive."

Olivia felt a knot in her throat and both women were now crying.

"If my son did live, he would have been a vegetable for the rest of his life. I sat there at Cooper's bedside. I sang to him and read to him. I didn't want to give up on him. But I couldn't bear to go on letting him live like that. It was a decision that took a lot of consideration. One that I was already contemplating and struggling with on my own. Then yesterday I turned on the television to the piece about Tessa and how she needed a heart transplant to survive. It was like a sign. And in that moment, I knew exactly what I had to do. My son, my baby, was already going. Keeping him on the machines was merely prolonging the inevitable. I spoke to Cooper's doctor and he made the arrangements. Letting go of him was the hardest thing I will ever have to do. But saying goodbye to Cooper, meant that there was a chance for four other babies who never would have had a chance without his organs. It was hard, but I did it. I did it for Tessa, and for a little boy in Texas who needed new kidneys. His lungs, one is going to a premature baby in Colorado and the other to New Mexico to a baby with a collapsed lung who has not even been born yet. I may not ever know how those other cases turned out. But if you don't mind, I would really like to wait around here and see how Tessa's surgery goes."

"I don't mind," Olivia whispered through her tears as she hugged the girl. "Thank you. Thank you so much, for everything you have done."

"Liv?" Elliot said from behind her. "Is everything okay?"

"There is someone I would like for you to meet. Erica, these are my good friends, Elliot and Fin. Guys, this is Erica. Her son Cooper was Tessa's heart donor."

The four of them sat in the waiting room for what seemed like days before a doctor finally came in with an update. He pulled Olivia into the hall and insisted on speaking to her alone. Elliot watched nervously as the man spoke to her and Olivia began to cry.

"What's going on? "Is Tessa okay?" Elliot asked rushing to her side.

"She's going to be fine," Olivia gasped as Elliot hugged her tight. "The doctor said her surgery went really well. They are taking her to recovery and want to watch her for a while. He said we can go back and see her in a few hours."

"That is amazing news," he said with a smile.

For the next few days Olivia spent every waking moment at Tessa's bedside. Four days after Tessa's surgery, all of her stats were looking good and the doctor said she was making an amazing recovery.

That night after visiting hours were over and Tessa was settled into bed for the night, Elliot talked Olivia into slipping away to her apartment for a few hours to have dinner with him. He ordered her favorite take out and poured them each a glass of wine to celebrate Tessa's amazing progress.

"She is the most amazing little girl," Elliot said. "And an inspiration to everyone who hears her story."

"She is pretty amazing," Olivia agreed checking her watch as she sat down at the table.

"Relax. Its two hours tops, I promise. Her nurse has your number and we are only blocks from the hospital. If we hear anything at all we will be there in five minutes."

Olivia smiled at his attempt to calm her nerves.

"And it is only one glass of wine," he added.

"Yea," she agreed. "I could really use this."

"You know what else is amazing? To think of everything this little bitty girl has been through in her short life. She is so strong."

"It has been a long six months," Olivia said trying hard to clear the worry from her mind. "Long and stressful and scary and expensive."

Elliot turned focused on her words as she continued.

"Tessa was a million dollar baby before she ever left the hospital. And now a heart transplant. And the doctor said she is still likely to need a couple more minor surgeries as she gets a little older."

"Without those donations and the fundraisers and all of the pro-bono work from the hospital staff, I don't know what we would have done."

"I would have lost my daughter. And I will never be able to thank Erica Pratt enough."

"What she did was pretty amazing, too. I don't know if I would ever be able to make the decision that she did. But I am sure thankful that she did it."

"We have come a long way," Olivia said softly. "But we still have a very long way to go. But you were right when you said I needed a few hours away from the hospital. That was probably the best shower I have ever had in my life."

"To be completely honest," he said stepping into the kitchen with their dinner dishes, "I was kind of hoping for the chance to talk to you. Just us. Away from the hospital where we could focus a little more on the matter at hand."

"Elliot..."

"Please just give me a chance. For days now I have been sitting here thinking about this. Trying to find the words to say what I needed to say, the best way to express what I am feeling."

"El," she gasped fighting back tears as she shook her head. "I just can't right now."

"I know. But please, just hear me out. You know, I cannot tell you how many times I have found myself in a place where I couldn't find the words to express what I was so desperately trying to say, then I would hear a song and it was like every word spoke exactly what I was feeling. Once again I am relying on music to help me out. I found a song, Olivia. Please, just listen," he said as music began.

You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking back at you

You say you're leavin
As you look away
I know theres really nothin left to say
Just know i'm here
Whenever you need me
I'll wait for you

So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

Take your time i wont go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you

Oh and i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

And i hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me

I can't get close if your not there
I can't get inside if theres no soul to bear
I can't fix you i can't save you
Its something you have to do

So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Come back to me
So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

And i hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me

When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me

When the music finished she was crying again.

"I will let you go," he whispered. "I will let you go because I love you and this is what you need me to do. I am not angry or upset with you. But I want you to know that this in no way changes how I feel about you. I love you. And I am pretty sure that you love me too."

"I do," she whispered through her tears.

"I understand that you just need a little time. So I will give that to you. I will always be here for you, anytime you need me. And I will wait for you, as long as it takes. When you are ready and things are a little more settled, we can try again. For now, I am here, as your friend. For now, we will focus on that beautiful little angel in that hospital bed. And when you are ready, come back to me. We will pick things up again. And everything is going to be okay."

Olivia smiled and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.

"That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me," she whispered in a soft laugh.

"Everything is going to be alright," Elliot repeated as he hugged her tight.