Be warned that this story contains MAJOR spoilers from chapter 200.

As usual I dun hav a beta so pls excuse my poor usage of language.

Disclaimer: Dgrayman belongs to Hoshino Katsura. However if I did own it, Yullen will not be just fan-fiction…

Kanda's POV

(Past)

They met on the first day he arrived at the Order. He was a new recruit and she had just returned from a mission.

He was older than he is now… Already a man of 22 years old when he first learnt that he was an exorcist.

She was only 16 but the long hard years she had spent in the Order, since the mere age of 6 years old, had her soul ripened too soon.

It was not love at first sight. In fact, much like Allen and himself, they had started out on the wrong foot. The only difference was that she was the aggressor while he was the naïve dreamer.

Soon they resolved their differences, slowly they became friends and inevitably they fell for each other. But they had to keep it a secret as such attachments were frowned upon. A weakness, the Dark Order had declared. Yet it was from each other that they drew the energy and courage to carry on during the long dark times.

For 4 years they had managed to keep it a secret.

"Why does time seem to fly past so fast…" She sighed, turned and looked at him in his eyes, "when I'm with you? Why can't it stop? I want it to stop at this moment…"

With a slight tug from him, she was in his arms. Together, they stared into the surprisingly deserted lotus pond he had discovered at the end of the back forest. (1)

"You are turning 21 soon. What gift do you want?" He kissed her temporal and buried his nose into her hair, taking in her scent. "I'm leaving for a mission in Japan tomorrow for a month. I should be able to get you something exotic and be back before your birthday."

Turing in his arms, she embraced him, "You. I just want you. Please come back safe and sound…"

"Really? Just that? You do know that I'm now one of the strongest exorcist the Dark Order has to offer right? Of course I'll be fine." Smirking, he brought her chin up try to kiss her lips.

"Oh… You arrogant pig." She laughed as she danced out of his arms and closer to the pond to admire the pink blossoms.

"Te quiero, mi señora.. Esperan en casa para mí?" He said to her in his native tongue, knowing that she loved his accent. (2)

With a smile on her face, she looks up and answered him, "I will wait for you...I'll wait forever..."

A week after his departure, she was sent out for a mission too.

Neither of them was able to keep their promise…

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

(Present)

Fragments from our past life flashed under my eyelids as I hugged Alma and passed through the gate that the Moyashi had created for us.

Moyashi… Allen, I corrected myself, the kind-hearted boy who woke me from my blind rage; the soft-hearted boy who wished to help Alma and me, despite his jealousy for him, by bringing us here.

The impact of landing on the sandy ground with Alma on top of me knocked the breath out of me. For an instant I could only hug Alma tightly to me while I lay back and gasp for air.

Opening my eyes, I confirmed that Moyashi had indeed sent us to Martel as I requested. To my surprise, flickers of white flame fell around us softly like snowflakes. Holding up my hand, I caught them on my palm and watched them burn off without the heat of real fire, disappearing into thin air. The gate was collapsing before my very eyes and at that moment, Alma was not on my mind, instead I was worried for him…

"Moyashi…"

"Poor thing…" Alma whispered, bringing my focus back to him again. "I understand… Akuma, off-shoots of the Millennium Earl, can feel it…"

"Feel… it?" Even through deep down I knew what Alma was going to say next, I was unwilling to accept that as the truth. Because… Because truth hurts…

"That child is a Noah…" I stared at Alma as he continued.

"I'm an Exorcist. Killing the Akuma and Noah should have been my fate… Not loving them…" I snort at the thought of the irony of my fate. Someone up there must have really hated me…

"And I… The earl… AAAGGGGHHHH….." Alma's body went into spasm as his body continue to be devoured.

Scoping Alma back into my arms, I tried to offer him as much comfort as I could. When I still can... "Don't speak anymore"

"Yuu… Just watch… Don't use innocence… Until my soul is crushed by dark matter…"

"I know…"

"I can't forgive the organization, even now… I hate them… So much I can hardly bear it." Alma cried and clinched tighter into my embrace. "But I should sink into mud…"

"I know…" All the faces from the science section of the Asian branch 9 years ago were still crystal clear in our memoires…

"I killed… Many… Even lending my power to the earl… So much…"

"I know so I'll see you off to the very end."

"… you won't come with me this time too, right?"

Unable to bring my guilty eyes to meet his, I answered, "… Sorry Alma, I can't… There is someone here who I'm… worried about…"

"… He's a good boy… Tried to help me even though he was in so much pain himself…"

Using his last strength, Alma lifted my chin up to face him. "Yuu, promise me, no matter who you allow into your heart in the future, a part of it will always be mine… You will remember us forever…"

It was a selfish request but I nodded my head as an answer nonetheless. I have owed them too much, this life and the past. They will always hold a special place in my heart that no one else will understand… Except him…

Closing my eyes again, I held on to Alma as tightly as I could while I felt his life force slowly seep out of him. Until finally, the body in my arms became nothing but an empty shell.

"Snicker"

"Giggle"

Slowly, I looked up to the source of the strange sounds and saw him and her. Their backs were facing me as they walked hand in hand away from me. Watching their ghostly figure going further and further away from me, I felt an intense sorrow… For a moment I wanted to run up to them… Beg them to take me with them… Away from this pain…

Then a swamp of lotus illusion came in between us, as if warning me to keep my distance from them… For I have already rejected them for another…

"I love you, Yuu." I heard her said, "Go to him as you wish. You are my love; regardless of what I've done, I really do wish for your happiness… Just… Just don't forget me please…"

The tears that had been stringing in my eyes finally fell. Whether they were from the sorrow of their departure or the relief from their blessing, I do not know. But I do know that I love them… Loved them…

"Yeah…"

With that they disappeared into the middle of the lotus lake leaving me behind, alone with Alma's empty shell. Then everything went black.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I have no idea, when I woke up, how much time had passed since then. It could have been hours or days even. The shell of Alma's remains had become nothing more than a pile of dust gathering around my feet.

Standing up, I flexed my limb to determine the state of my body. I concluded that I was only about 70% healed but that should be enough, to go back to him. Due to the intense damage that I have suffered, I suspect that it will take much longer than usual for my body to regenerate fully.

Looking up at where the gate was before it collapsed and cursed.

"Baka Moyashi, how am I suppose to go back to you now?" My frown gave way to a small smile when I recalled that he had only said goodbye to Alma and not to me. "You better still be alive when I reach you. If not I'll kill you!"

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

If you love someone, let them go… They will come back if they are yours…

I love you too, Allen. Please, wait for me …

1) I know the dark order's HQ was on top of a cliff but they can move right? So I was thinking before this HQ they were in another place... on flat ground all the way… okie?

2) That would mean something like "I love you, my lady… wait at home for me?" in Spanish. Used google translate for that cos I actually have no knowledge of that language. Just wanted Kanda to be of a different nationality in his past life…

Good or bad? Reviews pretty pls? =)