Feel Better

*I don't own anything related to Dragon Age.*

"Cousin, you never cease to amaze me."

Kallian grinned wryly at Shianni, watching as she slumped back in her chair, half empty cup of ale drained. As promised, Kallian had sat down at home with Shianni and regaled her with all that had happened. One bottle of ale was already empty, and they were working their way steadily through the other. Kallian was glad she had left Sten and Morrigan back at the Arl's estate. They would have surely disapproved of her drinking and wasting precious time – but she felt she deserved a break, and surely her family deserved to catch up with her. Oghren would be sore about missing out on free ale, undoubtedly.

The rogue elf leaned back in her chair, her faithful mabari panting content at her feet. Both Alistair and Leliana had given her and Shianni some time alone to talk. She could hardly believe she was home again. Her heart had ached, seeing the Alienage in the state it was. Her people sick, others carted away and sold into slavery. But her father and her cousins were safe – that, at least, was something to be grateful for.

"It is good that you are home again, Cousin," Shianni said, her words slightly slurred.

"I cannot stay long," Kallian said, with some regret. "There is a Blight to deal with, after all." Kallian brushed her brown locks from her eyes, but it stubbornly fell back down again. Her hair was forever messy, it seemed. Fighting darkspawn from dawn to dusk didn't help, she supposed. Her green eyes swept over the sparse room that was her old home, the smell of food still lingering in the air. Her father had insisted on feeding her and her companions, and Kallian felt guilty for eating what little food her father had. But he'd insisted. Still, she'd leave him some sovereigns later – she had plenty to spare now.

"Of course," Shianni said, then smiled slyly. "So tell me, who is the tall human traveling with you? He's rather good looking, even for a human."

Kallian chuckled. "Alistair is a fellow Grey Warden, and my friend – nothing more."

"Sure," Shianni said, amused.

"Alistair is sweet – but not exactly my type," Kallian assured.

"Well, Cousin, I hope you find someone soon, or else Uncle will arrange another marriage for you after this is all over," Shianni teased.

"Actually..." Kallian hesitated. Even in her slightly tipsy state, she had her inhibitions. It wasn't that she was ashamed. She just wondered what her family would say about her choice.

"Oh?" Shianni leaned forward eagerly, eyes gleaming. She wanted the dirt.

"There is someone," Kallian continued slowly, weighing her words carefully. The door opened suddenly, cutting Kallian off. She smiled at the sight of Leliana, entering hesitantly, clearly unsure if she was interrupting something.

"Come in, Leliana."

"You are sure?" Leliana asked, playing with her fingers, like she always did when she was nervous.

"Yes, silly. Have yourself a drink," she said, gesturing to the half bottle of ale.

"I think I will refrain. One of us should keep our wits about us, my Warden," she answered with an endearing smile.

"As you wish," Kallian said, and they shared a smile. Kallian heard an 'oh!' of surprise from Shianni. Her cousin had figured it out for herself. Then she snorted, laughing loudly.

"Oh, Cousin. I see what you mean now, when you say Alistair is not your type!"

"Right," Kallian said, blushing lightly. Leliana smiled knowingly and interlocked her fingers with Kallian's.

"Uncle Cyrion will be surprised," Shianni continued, laughing still. "No wonder you weren't keen on Nelaros..." she trailed off suddenly, clearly remembering how he had died trying to rescue them, and undoubtedly about her own experience with the Arl of Denerim's son.

"Well, I really didn't think about it that way," Kallian explained. "I wasn't aware of my preference until after I met Leliana."

"Oh yes, Kallian was quite the charmer," Leliana giggled. "Indeed, she's quite the thief, stealing everyone's hearts left and right. I never stood a chance."

"That was never my intention," Kallian protested, but Leliana hushed her.

"I am teasing you, my dear. In truth, you were painfully oblivious that you were the desire of everyone's affections."

Kallian blushed harder, and Shianni snorted again. "That sounds like you cousin. So focused on everything else to notice everyone watching you."

"But it is what makes her so charming, no?" Leliana said, brushing hair behind Kallian's ear.

"Right!" Kallian burst out, burying her face in her hands. "New topic," she mumbled.

"Perhaps now you can tell me about how you were betrothed," Leliana suggested, and Kallian let her shoulders slump. She'd dreaded when Leliana would bring that up again – her love had been quite shocked to hear from Shianni that she'd been betrothed once. It wasn't a topic Kallian enjoyed discussing, though.

"Maybe I should leave you two alone," Shianni said, swaying as she stood up, the half empty bottle of ale in her hand. "Maybe Alistair would like to finish this with me," she smirked.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Shianni," Leliana said, still grinning at her Warden's embarrassment.

"Yes. Thank you – for helping save the Alienage, and for taking care of my cousin," Shianni said, sobering up for a moment. Then, "C'mere, doggy, let's leave these two alone," she said, winking at the mabari in a conspiratorial manner. Kallian's dog barked in agreement, stubby tail wagging as he followed the red-haired elf out the door.

"My cousin is quite the drinker – you'd think she could hold her alcohol better," Kallian said lightly, peeking out from behind her hands.

"You look like you aren't faring much better, love," Leliana noted, smiling patiently at Kallian as she removed her hands from her face, holding them lightly in her own.

"I'm much better off than her," Kallian disagreed, though her face was a bit flushed from the alcohol she'd consumed.

"Now, stop changing the subject. What is all this about you being betrothed?" she asked again, her red brow quirking upward.

Kallian sighed, tugging her hands away ineffectually; Leliana tightened her grip, refusing to let her hands go.

"It isn't something I like to think about, to be honest."

"I have told you about my past, isn't it fair I know about yours?" Leliana asked, frowning. "Or do you not trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, Leliana. You know that. I never brought it up because I didn't think it mattered. I was supposed to marry, but I didn't. He died, and Shianni was...well, what is there to discuss?"

"It changed your life. It seems to me there's a lot to discuss. What happened to Shianni that bothers you so? Up on the mountain, when we were getting Andraste's ashes, the Guardian asked you about her...and then later you saw a vision of her. Something happened."

"You won't let this drop, will you?" Kallian groaned, her lower lip jutting out in a pout.

"No, cherie. Come, you will feel better after you let it out. I felt better after I told you about my past." Kallian peered searchingly into Leliana's eyes, seeing only concern and love. She knew Leliana would not push her if she declined again, but she could see the wisdom in the bard's words. Kallian had kept the past locked away for too long.

"Very well. I will tell you...where to begin, I wonder?"

"How did you come to be engaged? That seems as good a place as any," Leliana encouraged her, her tight grip loosening.

"My father arranged it," Kallian said, letting her hands drop down to her lap. "I was lucky – many did not have a parent to arrange such a marriage, and had to make do with who the elder could find. It made some of the elves in the Alienage very bitter. I remember, one woman in particular was rather jealous of me. She gave me some ugly words on my wedding day."

"Why would she marry someone she did not love?" Leliana asked, brows furrowing in that adorable way Kallian loved.

"To marry is to take the step into adulthood. If we do not marry, we are considered a child forever, no matter our age. That is why my father arranged the marriage. The chances that I would find another such match was unlikely. I did not want to marry, but I had no choice."

Kallian pulled away from Leliana, pushing herself up out of her wooden chair, gazing into the fire that was lit in the fireplace.

"My betrothed arrived early. He came all the way from Highever, you see. In any case, it was decided I would wed early, on the same day as my cousin Soris. A double wedding – a joyous celebration for the Alienage. Shianni was already celebrating by the time I woke up," Kallian chuckled lightly, but already her mind was far away, taking her back to that day.

"Nelaros was good looking enough, I suppose. My heart wasn't in it, but like I said, I had little choice. Besides, I did not want to disappoint my father, not to mention everyone else. The celebrations had already started, if the amount of drunken elves was anything to go by."

Kallian drifted off, closing her eyes tight. She wondered how many of those same elves were now dead, towed off into slavery, or dead from the plague that had swept through her old home. She felt Leliana sidle up to her side and take her hand, squeezing it reassuringly, the smell of Andrastes' Grace wafting over her. Leliana always smelled of them, Kallian noticed, ever since she had given the bard the small white flowers. Kallian opened her eyes again, resuming her staring contest with the fire.

"The Arl's son gate-crashed the party. He came looking for whores for his party," Kallian spat out bitterly. "Shianni bottled him and knocked him out. We'd hoped he would stay away after his buddies dragged him away, but he came back in the middle of the wedding. I suppose it is thanks to him that I am not married...I...I would have preferred an unwanted marriage to what happened, though.

"Vaughn knocked me out and took five of us," Kallian continued, her voice becoming listless, eyes unfocused as the scene replayed in her mind. "The guards killed one of us after I woke up, and then dragged Valora and Shianni away. Soris came, and he slid me a sword..." she could see it clearly, hear the sword skidding across the floor, remember the comfort it brought her to be armed. "I killed them. We fought our way through the estate, killing every guard that crossed our path. Nelaros...he'd come to rescue me, but the guards killed him. I...I was sorry I'd dragged him into such a mess. But we continued on without him. I was too late, though."

Shianni, lying battered and vulnerable on the ground, tears in her eyes, her face dirty and bruised. Vaughn and his men, standing above her, looking smug and triumphant.

"Kallian?" Leliana ventured softly, her voice drawing Kallian back from her past.

"They raped Shianni. And I killed them, too. He tried to pay me off with 40 sovereigns. But he didn't deserve to live – not after that. I stopped that smug bastard from hurting anymore elves again, and he died with fear in his eyes."

She shook with barely suppressed anger and guilt – anger at Vaughn and his men, guilt at not getting to Shianni on time. "If I had run faster...fought better...I could have saved Shianni from her fate. I could have stopped Vaughn from ever laying a finger on her."

Leliana gripped Kallian's shoulders and turned her so they were facing one another. "No, my love. You did all you could, and no one could ask for more. You cannot blame yourself for Vaughn's deeds, and what matters is that you got to your cousin in the end."

"You did not hear her, Leliana. She sounded so broken afterward. She said...'Take me home, Cousin. Please, take me home,'..."

"And you did," Leliana soothed, drawing her Warden closer, smoothing her unkempt hair down. "You saved her, and the others, no?"

"It still haunts my dreams," Kallian whispered, burying her face into the crook of Leliana's neck and shoulder. "Nightmares, where she blames me..."

"Shh, you are not to blame, Kallian. I think you know this."

The elf nodded slightly, wrapping her arms around her bard, taking comfort from her embrace and warmth.

"You were so brave, even then," Leliana murmured, her fingers continuing their slow ministrations through Kallian's brown hair. The Warden let Leliana hold her in silence, until she finally felt strong enough to continue.

"You're right. I did bring Shianni home – she was glad, and did not want anyone to know what had happened. I think she did not want them to see her as broken. My cousin is strong that way..."

"Perhaps it is in your blood," Leliana said, withdrawing slightly and smiling gently.

"Maybe it is," Kallian agreed. "After that, Duncan conscripted me, saving me from a fate in the dungeons, and from being hanged when the Arl of Denerim returned. And that...is both the story of how I was betrothed, and how I became a Grey Warden."

"Ah," Leliana sighed sadly. "I am sorry, ma cherie. It was cruel what happened to you and your betrothed, and still, I cannot help but be a little glad things turned out as they did. I would have never met you otherwise, and my life would have been sadly lacking."

"And much safer, I would guess."

"Nonsense," Leliana said, a little sharply. "Either way, there would be a Blight on our doorsteps, and that is far from being safe. I would much rather be here at your side, fighting darkspawn and saving Ferelden with you."

The warmth of love and affection swelled within Kallian as she gazed at her lovely, sweet bard, and she smiled again, brushing the side of Leliana's face with her thumb. "I am glad to have you in my life, Leliana. I think I would be much worse off without you."

The edges of Leliana's eyes crinkled as she smiled broadly, reaching up to hold Kallian's hand. "You are sweet, mon amour."

"You must be influencing me," Kallian chuckled, standing on her toes to kiss the tip of Leliana's nose lightly. The bard pulled away suddenly, her blue eyes sparkling with sudden mischief. She darted over to the door, sliding the lock into place. Kallian raised a single eyebrow quizzically. "What are you up to, my bard?"

"Well, you are a bit drunk, no? It is best to lie down in these situations," Leliana said carefully, stepping up to Kallian again. "And you have been in this armor for far too long, surely it is uncomfortable," she continued in a very matter -of-fact way. Already, her fingers were deftly undoing the straps to Kallian's armor, tugging them loose.

"Oh ho, I see your game now!" Kallian crowed, grasping Leliana's wrists. "You are trying to bed me in my father's house!" she gasped, both amused and scandalized.

"I'm pleased you caught on so quickly, my love," Leliana smiled, leaning forward and capturing her mouth in a heated kiss. Kallian gave in for a moment, then pulled away again.

"What if someone comes in?" she asked warily, even as Leliana freed her wrists and went to work removing her armor again.

"The door is locked, and after all, they are not as skilled at picking locks as you or I, are they?"

"Well, no..." Kallian agreed weakly.

"And even if someone tried, we would hear them, yes?"

"...I...suppose..." Kallian wasn't so sure, though. Leliana tended to be very...vocal during their lovemaking. Perhaps because she was a bard, and that was just her way, Kallian thought to herself, smirking a little.

"Then I see no problem," Leliana said slyly, moving in for another kiss. As Kallian resisted again, Leliana sighed. "Stop worrying, amour. Besides, I do not know when we will get another opportunity like this, not with the Landsmeet coming up...so please?" she asked, her face pouty. It was a look Kallian could never quite resist, not with the way Leliana's brow drew together ever so slightly, or the way her already full lips pushed out in an entirely too inviting way, making her look both adorable and alluring. It was easy to see why she made such an excellent bard – her skills at seducing were top notch.

"You win," Kallian relented, and her bard's face lit up with glee, and she suppressed a squeal of delight, before her expression shifted to something more sultry.

"Good. Now, no more hesitating – into bed with you. I will make you feel better before tomorrow, yes?"

A low chuckle escaped Kallian as Leliana's nimble fingers went back to work, pulling off her armor all the while managing to direct her toward the bed. Her lover kissed her again, plump lips brushing sensuously over hers, sending her head reeling pleasantly.

Kallian half walked, half tripped backward toward the bed, struggling to take Leliana's armor off as well. She giggled into Kallian's mouth, sensing the eagerness of the half drunk elf.

"You don't seem so worried now," Leliana mused, her mouth now trailing kisses along her jawbone and down her neck.

"Hard to worry when I can barely think."

Leliana chuckled again, succeeding in freeing Kallian of her armor, leaving her in her undershirt and trews. Kallian focused on removing Leliana's armor now as her lover impatiently nipped at her neck and let her fingers dance along her sides and ribcage.

"You know," Kallian said breathily, pausing. "You were right."

"About what?" Leliana asked, looking smug, like she knew exactly what Kallian was referring to.

"About talking about my past. I do feel better after talking to you."

The expression on Leliana's face softened momentarily, and she leaned forward and kissed Kallian sweetly on the lips. "I am glad." Then, "But now I am trying to make you feel even better, so hush and finish undressing me," she commanded, looking stern.

"Right away, mon amour," Kallian said, borrowing Leliana's term of endearment for her, and complying to her love's wishes. She just hoped fervently nobody would walk in on them.

Just a one shot I thought up after playing Dragon Age today, during my city Elf's story. I laughed when Leliana and Alistar were surprised to hear Kallian was betrothed, and wondered what it would be like if Leliana and Kallian were really to talk about it later (Sadly, it never happened in the game, so I had to think it up myself!). Also, I liked Shianni, and thought Kallian should get the chance to share a couple of drinks with her cousin. ;) In any case, please leave a review! Fem/Fem isn't usually what I write, but, I love Leliana and FemPC to death.