A/N: This came to me after hearing the song Push on my iPod and I decided I needed a Matt fix. At first it was going to go in my collection of drabbles/one-shots, but quickly became too long for that. Just to clarify, Rachel and Finn are not officially dating at the beginning of this fic, so place this where you will in the timeline.
I hope you enjoy!
Glee is not mine, I just like to borrow the characters and play with them for a while.
Matt whistles as he walks out of the locker room and into the hall after an early weight lifting session. Just as he is about to turn down the corridor where his locker is located, a familiar brunette appears and dashes past him, back the way he came from.
He frowns, thinking how unusual it was for her to not even say hello. The two of them had grown close over the past months, and he had been her shoulder to cry on more than once. Were those tears?
Shrugging, he continues towards his locker, but stops when he sees Andrea Chapman, a sophomore Cheerio, leaning back against the locker bank with Finn Hudson standing in front of her, hands placed on either side of her on the lockers as he flirts with her. They are oblivious to the world around them, judging by the way they are staring into each other's eyes, and suddenly Matt has a very good idea what Rachel was running from.
He tightens his hands into fists involuntarily, anger at his teammate rising to the surface as he recalls Rachel's tear-streaked face from just moments ago. Like everyone else in glee club, he is tired of Finn stringing Rachel along, leading her to think he liked her only to turn his back on her when someone more popular came along. Several of them have been urging him to for God's sake man up and say something to her, Rutherford! for some time, but he has been treading carefully, painfully aware of her feelings for the quarterback and not wanting to overstep the bounds of their friendship.
Grunting in disgust, he turns on his heel, the need to make sure that Rachel is alright outweighing the urge to rearrange Finn's face. He retraces his steps, and can't help the smile that comes to his face when he hears someone start playing the piano, and directs his steps to the choir room. She looks up in surprise when he enters the room, but doesn't stop her playing, and begins singing as he takes a seat on the back riser.
She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty
And I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By a hand that's touched me
And I feel like something's gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry
Well
This ain't over
No not here
Not while I still need you around
You don't owe me
We might change
Yeah we just might feel good
I wanna push you around
Well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down
Well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
I wanna take you for granted
Well I will
His face contorts in sympathy as tears begin to leak from the corners of her closed eyes. Still she continues singing, and the surge of admiration he feels for her is nearly overwhelming. She hits every note perfectly, but her voice is raw and charged in a way that it usually isn't, and he can see the pain etched clearly on her features.
She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting
When I think that the truth is gonna hurt you
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
'Cause it's a little bit dirty
Well
Don't just stand there
Say nice things to me
I've been cheated, I've been wronged
And you, you don't know me
I can't change
I won't do anything at all
I wanna push you around
Well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down
Well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
I wanna take you for granted
Well I will
She lets her voice trail off with the last notes of the piano, but keeps her eyes shut.
"Rach?" he says tentatively.
She doesn't respond, only brings the cover down over the piano keys, and places her elbows on it, leaning forward to cradle her head in her hands. In an instant, Matt is beside her on the piano bench, dropping one arm around her shoulders comfortingly.
"Hey," he whispers. "It's okay." His heart aches for the tiny girl next to him, and he finds himself thinking uncharacteristically violent thoughts towards one Finn Hudson.
Rachel turns and ducks her head into his chest as sobs begin to wrack her body, and he wraps both arms around her protectively, holding her close as she cries herself out. He brings a hand to her hair and gently combs his fingers through her chestnut locks as she gathers her composure.
"I suppose," she says, her voice low, "you saw them?" She doesn't elaborate on who comprises the them, correctly assuming that he knows what she is talking about.
"Yeah," he says. "I'm sorry."
She laughs bitterly. "So am I. Did you know that he was at my house yesterday evening for a movie night? We spent hours watching old movies, cuddled up on my couch together. I was so happy." She wipes at her face angrily, mortified at what she is admitting to her friend but unable to stop the words from spilling out of her mouth. "And do you know what he said? He told me—" She pauses to take a deep, steadying breath. "He told me that he thought he was falling in love with me. And I believed him. How could I have been so stupid?"
Matt sucks in a breath as this new information comes to light. I'm going to fucking kill him, he vows.
She continues, her voice bitter. "I was so sure that it was going to be different this time. And then, this morning . . . right next to my locker, no less!" She looks up at him with puffy red eyes, and he thinks that he's never seen anything so heartbreakingly beautiful. "It's never going to change, is it?"
He sighs, knowing that he has to tell the truth. "No, honey, I don't think it is." He pulls her a little closer, dropping a quick kiss on the top of her head. "I'm sorry," he repeats.
"I should have known better than to think someone like him would really be interested in me," she murmurs.
His eyebrows shoot to his hairline, and he places his hands on her shoulders, causing her to look up at him curiously. "You listen to me," he says firmly. "You are not to think that Finn being a douchebag is in any way your fault, do you understand? Just because he's too big an idiot and too damn blind to see how great a thing is right in front of him, doesn't mean that the rest of us are the same way. Any guy would be lucky to have you, Rachel."
Her eyes widen, and he hates to see the tears building up there again, but she manages a small smile. "Do you really think so?"
Matt nods. "I know it for sure."
She throws her arms around him in a hug, and he is more than happy to return the gesture. Before she pulls back, she kisses him softly on the cheek. "Thank you, Matthew," she says. "You have been there to comfort me whenever I needed it, these past few months. I really don't know what I would do without you."
He shakes his head, brushing away a tear with the pad of his thumb. "You'll never have to find out. I'll always be here for whatever you need."
She tilts her head up towards him, and he can't place the look in her eyes. "I think I'm starting to understand that," she says slowly.
"Good." He stands up, holding a hand out to her to help her to her feet. "Come on, homeroom is going to start any minute now."
She nods in agreement, but when she gets to her feet she simply closes the distance between them and gives him another hug. He is surprised, but slips his arms around her waist and holds her gently to his chest. She remains there for just a few seconds, but this time when she pulls away, she gazes up at him searchingly before placing a hesitant kiss to his lips.
He is too astonished to respond, and he sees something uncomfortably close to disappointment flash in her eyes when she steps away from him. It is enough to jolt him into action, and he catches her wrist as she turns toward the door, pulling her back towards him roughly. "Rachel," he rasps, locking eyes with her.
It is only her name, but it seems to be enough. She reaches up, cupping his cheek with one hand. He covers her hand with his own and pulls it to his chest, where she flattens her palm against his heartbeat.
"Matthew?" she whispers.
It is the only invitation that he needs, and he leans down to kiss her. She kisses him back, their lips moving together, and the air in the room is suddenly charged with electricity. He places his hand on her hips, pulling her closer as they deepen the kiss.
The sound of the first bell ringing brings them back to reality, and they draw away from each other reluctantly.
"Um," he says eloquently, reaching down to tangle their fingers together. "Wow."
"Yes," she agrees, biting her lip. "Wow, indeed."
He grins at her, and presses a soft, chaste kiss to her lips. Then he tugs her toward the hallway. "Matt, wait," she protests. "That was amazing, obviously. But what is this? I don't want to be—"
She falls silent, eyes downcast, but he understands what she was about to say. "Rachel, look at me," he says softly. When she lifts her eyes back up towards him, he smiles. "This isn't like that. I'm not like him. I'm not going to say one thing and do the opposite." The beginning of a smile plays at the corners of her mouth, and he reaches out and tenderly pushes a piece of hair back behind her ear. "I don't know what this is, but I want to find out, and I want to do it right. I'm not going to see anyone else, and I sure as fuck don't want you seeing anyone that's not me." The last part comes out in a growl, and her eyes widen as she realizes that he has been feeling this way for some time.
"Okay," she agrees.
"Good," says Matt. "Look, I can't promise you forever. What I can promise you is that I'll try my best, and that's really all I can do, so it will have to be enough."
She thinks about how many times Finn has broken his promises to her, about how seldom his actions live up to his words, contrasts that with the honest words of the boy in front of her, and looks up into his earnest gaze.
"It's enough, Matt. In fact, it's more than enough," she says, the smile finally breaking across her face as she gently rubs her thumb over the back of his hand. "It's perfect."