AGH CRIMENY I'VE BEEN GONE TOO LONG

DoOfY aNd PeRrY and Bluee'EYES: Really? Pfsh. I thought she'd be annoying.

gypsy rosalie: WELL U KNO TEHY R PYUR EEBIL RITE?

AAAAND we go on.

Malachi was dumped onto the floor of Vendetta's basement, landing on his rear. He gave a small cry of pain, partly due to that Vendetta would surely kill him for having talked about her in an unfavorable fashion (albeit indirectly). It was also due to that Vendetta was poor at keeping things neat and her wood was quite splintery, and he got a sliver in his ye olde bum, and by heavens it hurt like not-heavens. However, he couldn't possibly have cared any less about it the moment when the green devil popped out from under the stairs. Then, Malachi could only care about KEEPING his butt altogether.

"YOU!" Vendetta shouted, pointing accusingly. Suddenly her expression changed from angry to confused, followed by "You? The little Holy-Boy?" She laughed. "You're weaker and stupider than that pathetic Marvin! What could you possibly do to be brought to me? I guess that was a mistake." She slapped the fiend that brought him in the face. With a sulky expression, it tramped back up the stairs. Vendetta then picked up a large vile of pink liquid from the table, saying, "Let me show you this. See? It is my new fiend. I don't know why it's pink, but I do know that if I spill a single drop, it will create an army of mile-high fiends! Far too big for the basement—much less the kitchen. They will be added to the numbers of my service, and I may rule the stupid, stupid world!" She laughed maniacally before adding, "Now go, or else I will spill this whole bottle on YOUR STUPID BALD HEAD!" Vendetta then turned away from him, tending to her work.

Malachi paused. He would normally leave and dance with joy at the aspect of getting off scot-free, especially since he was innocent, but something kept him there. It was what she'd said about him. Weak. Malachi feared and loathed (but mostly feared) Vendetta, but he loved his little family more. And his father would take every opportunity to remind them all, "We beith poor. We beith lowly. We beith enslaved and miserable…but most over all, we beith the stronger over the tyrant, and this, we shall keepeth, and never lose." And Malachi kept this every day, and would not be told otherwise. This was his family, this was their belief, and no one, not even the most vile of green-bodied tyrants, could ever take this away from him.

Plus, she'd called him bald, and that made him self-conscious.

"I'm…I'm not weak." Malachi nearly whispered this. Vendetta's head whirled around, almost like an owl.

"Huh? What did you say?" Her voice was threatening. Nonetheless, Malachi took a single step forward.

"Nobody…in my family…is weak." His voice was only a slight bit louder than before.

Vendetta started blinking rapidly. Was this even possible? In all the seven years she'd ruled Clamburg, this was the first time that anyone had ever taken a stand. Heck, nobody had ever even taken a kneel (proverbially, as everyone actually bowed to her). How to react, how to react…ah! Vendetta grabbed the vile, clenching the neck so hard it almost cracked.

"You stupid purple boy! You'll never pray again!" She threw the vile to the ground, and it shattered to bits—but no fiends ever appeared. Not even a single evil amoeba. Instead, Vendetta found herself engulfed in glittering pink fog.

"AAH! GET OFF, YOU STUPID FOG! I WILL KILL YOU! KILL YOU WITH FIENDS!" She screamed, despite the fact that she was almost choking. Malachi simply stood dumbfounded until the fog finally cleared.

Vendetta rubbed her eyes vigorously before looking back up, ready to screech and smack and kick and stab and kiss the boy.

…Wait. Something was wrong there.

Vendetta shook her head, going over what had just gone through her mind. Screech, smack, kick, stab…kiss. Yes, that was definitely a problem. The fog had probably just put a glitch in her brain, and she resolved to wait for it to clear out until she hunted down and killed Malachi. Still, her cheeks began to turn a light shade of pink, which looked odd against the green.

"Um…go." Vendetta pointed up the stairs. Frightened, Malachi scurried away, and never hoped to come within a mile radius of the place again.