Itachi Uchiha, 19, awoke to a rather loud, vastly annoying sound. He groaned and struggled to focus his eyes. Eventually he managed to heave himself out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen where he found the source of his awakening: a cellphone left on a marble counter. Itachi picked up the phone and made his way to his brother's room.

"Sasuke!" he called, knocking on the door.

No answer.

"Hey, Sasuke! Come answer this damn thing!" He said, raising his voice slightly.

No answer.

Itachi sighed and flung the door open. His brother laid in his bed, head under a mess of pillows. What a lump.

"Oh Sasuke," Itachi cooed.

"What?" muttered the lump.

"Answer your damn phone," Itachi demanded, chunking the phone at Sasuke and pelting him in the head.

"Ow! What the hell?" Sasuke yelled, sitting up and rubbing his head. "Who is it?"

"Its that woman of yours," Itachi answered, leaving the room, "Tell her to get a life."

Sasuke glanced at his phone: 7 new text messages from his girlfriend, Saukra Haruno. Sasuke flopped back down on his bed. Ever since he switched schools and moved in with his brother she had been extra clingy. His phone received a dozen texts plus a couple phone calls ever hour. After a while he started to ignore her. He didn't want to break up with her; she was fun to have around when he wanted someone to fool around with and sexting her was great. It was all this other nonsexual stuff that aggravated him.

Sasuke slammed the phone down on the night stand and attempted to return to the deep sleep he was previously enjoying. He shut his eyes, quieted his mind and . . .

BUZZ!

His eyes shot open at the sound of his phone going off again. That woman was seriously getting on his last nerve.

Sakura's lucky she has such a hot body he thought, pulling himself out of bed to check his phone.

To: Sasuke

Hope you're having a great morning! Love you baby!

-Cherry 3

"I was having a great morning," Sasuke mumbled to himself, "Until I got smacked in the head with a phone that won't quit ringing!"

After deleting all Sakura's text messages Sasuke checked the time on his phone: 6:23 A.M. He decided it was about time for him to get ready for school. He crawled out of bed, got dressed, and ruffled his hair lightly. Once he completed this time-consuming routine he paid a visit to Itachi's room. Itachi laid face first in his pillows. At least one of them had gotten some extra sleep.

"Itachi, get up," Sasuke grumbled sleepily. "You're going to be late for school."

"I'm a senior," Itachi reminded him, "My first class is at noon."

"Screw you," Sasuke mumbled sleepily. Sasuke was only a freshmen; this whole thing seemed completely unfair.

"I know you want to," Itachi replied coolly, " But that would be incest, and, as much as my fan girls would love that, I don't want any deformed babies running around."

"Even if I did want to screw you, WHICH I DON'T, there wouldn't be any deformed babies. We're both men, moron."

At this statement Itachi sat straight up in his bed, staing at Sasuke in utter shock.

"You're a man?" he exclaimed.

" . . . Go screw yourself," Sasuke snapped.

"I prefer to screw women," Itachi replied, "We can't all be completely sexually satisfied by ourselves like you little brother."

"I don't screw myself," Sasuke growled indignantly, "You know Sakura and I have a great sex life!"

"Yes," Itachi admitted, "And this great sex life of yours includes phone sex. Phone sex does include masturbation, which, technically, is screwing yourself. Unless you just sit there and do nothing while your girlfriend moans and screams sexual things in your ear. If that's the case then you can just admit you're gay and we can all move on."

Sasuke had no response for this so he muttered some cuss words under his breath, grabbed some coffee from the kitchen, and headed out to school.

A few hours later Itachi awoke to the same loud, annoying vibrating sound from early that morning. Itachi groaned. Why couldn't Sasuke just put it on silent? For some reason people seemed to think that a vibrating phone is somehow less annoying than a ringing phone. This thought is entirely false. Ring, ring, ring and buzz, buzz, buzz actually produce the same amount of irritation.

Itachi slowly got up and went into the kitchen where he discovered the phone lying next to the coffee maker. As he fixed his coffee (2 creams, no sugar) he kept staring at Sasuke's phone. What did the that girl need so badly? It was only 10 in the morning. Itachi picked up the phone curiously.

Sasuke really shouldn't leave this out in the open if he doesn't want people reading it Itachi thought He left it out. It woke me up. It's his fault if I read it.

Itachi took a long, slow sip of coffee and casually flipped open his brother's phone, then quickly choked upon seeing the message.

To: Sasuke

I'm supposed to be focusing on math right now but I'm to horny to think of any numbers, except for 69 maybe. ;) Damn I need you baby.

-Cherry 3

Itachi finished choking on his coffee and wiped his lip. If Sasuke was going to be a dick and leave his phone around to wake up innocent sleeping people then he didn't deserve to have hot sext with his girlfriend. Itachi took the phone, turned it to silent, and shoved it in his pocket.

He's got to learn sometime.