A/N: I have a disease. It's called Obsessed With All Things Hilson. In spite of the many documented cases, there has been no talk of searching for a treatment. Two a.m. so, though I at least tried to catch as many mistakes as possible, I may have missed some. Hit me up and I'll fix them.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even self control. Obviously.

Let's Get It On

"Hey, Wilson."

"Hey, nothing. I'm busy."

"You said we could play when we got home!"

"Actually, as I recall, I said we could play as long as you behaved at work. Do you remember that little clause?"

"Nope."

"I told you that you could have my attention at work or at home. I warned you about this paperwork."

"I chose home."

"Yeah, and then you broke into my office and turned all my furniture upside down."

"I moved your laptop before I flipped your desk."

"House…"

"Okay, before I had Foreman flip your desk."

"Not exactly I meant."

"Come on, Wilson. You can even burn a candle."

"The Clean Cotton one?"

"Sure."

"Well, hell, let's get to it then."

"That was too easy, right?"

"Yes. I gotta finish these files and it's going to take most of the night. Sorry. Your hormones will have to make it another 24 hours."

"…"

"House, that's not going to work."

"You look tense."

"Right. And the fact that you've never once given me a massage since we started having sex on a regular basis?"

"Coincidence."

"Of course. Stop touching me. I told you I'm busy."

"But… Jimmy, I'm trying to help your back."

"Yeah right. You're trying to distract me from my work. If you want us to keep this lovely loft, I'm going to need to keep my job."

"I am a fan of the loft."

"So, you're going to have to let Daddy get back to work."

"Did you just call yourself Daddy? I thought you were trying to smother my sexual urges, not make them run rampant through my body."

"Sorry. I forgot that I need to curb my animal magnetism. I get that it's hard to be around me and keep your actions PG."

"Is this because of this morning?"

"This morning?"

"Don't look so confused. You know what I'm talking about. You saw me talking to Cuddy."

"She's your boss. When you don't talk to her is when you generally have problems. Stop touching that. I told you."

"It was about a case. God, you smell good."

"I know it was about a case. I have no reason to doubt you."

"Exactly. So, anyway, where did we land on the whole 'passionately-doing-it-like-rabbits' thing?"

"The fact that you pined for the woman for over 20 years… I shouldn't even give that any thought or concern whatsoever. I mean, we're together now."

"This is true."

"And you seem happy."

"One of the great mysteries of life."

"So I have no reason to feel threatened."

"You're kinda cute when you're jealous."

"House!"

"Your neck is all red. Oh, this is delightful."

"Leave me alone. I have to-"

"Work. Yeah, yeah, I get it. But if this is about Cuddy, you have nothing to worry about. You're the one I share my bed with. I choose you. Every day."

"Okay. Let's go."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. Come on, before I change my mind."

"You're a real romantic, you know that, Jimmy? Truly. You sweep me off my feet."

"You want romance? Gregory House, you are my reason for living."

"I take it back! I take it back!"

"Too late. You light up my pathetic, lonely, meaningless existence, by merely gracing me with your presence. I don't know what I'd do if I had to go one day without looking into the pool of deep blue in your heartbreakingly perfect eyes."

"You're going to hell."

"Whatever. It's mostly true. Except for the part about… Well no. It's all true."

"Love has made you soft. Softer than before, even."

"Ditto."

"Okay, so can we please get down to business now?"

"I changed my mind."

"What?"

"Just kidding."

"You're lucky you've got looks. Because your sense of humor sucks."