Summary: Jack and Ianto spend a day at the carnival.

Schmoop: Stuffed Animal

A/N: This was written for a Schmoop Bingo Challenge over on Live Journal. Its got schmoop (but not over the top), sex and humor. What more could you ask for?

Ianto sighed. A whole day off finally, and Jack had plans for them. All Ianto wanted to do was stay home, clean the flat, order in some Chinese and maybe watch a film or two.

But Jack, of course, thought that was a waste of a free day.

"Oh come on, Ianto, it's beautiful outside," Jack said, looking out the window at the front of the flat. "The sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky and the annual Children's Hospital Benefit Carnival has opened in Bute Park. We'll ride the Ferris wheel, eat cotton candy and popcorn, and I'll tell you what, I promise if they have one of those games where you knock stuff over to win prizes, I'll win a stuffed Teddy Bear just for you."

Ianto rolled his eyes. A stuffed Teddy Bear, he thought. Brilliant. Still, Jack didn't often want to go out and do coupley stuff very often. No, giving Ianto a blow job in that very park not more than a week ago in broad daylight was more Jack's idea of outdoor activity. Oh why not, he thought. It would be worth it just to see if Jack could beat last year's record of consuming four hot dogs, caramel corn, three sodas and cotton candy in less than two hours. Never mind how much Jack whined later about a stomach ache.

Sweat was beading up on Jack's forehead. He had already spent about twenty pounds trying to win a Teddy Bear for Ianto. But there was no way he was giving up now. Breaking balloons with darts shouldn't be this hard, he thought. Though Ianto cajoled, and finally pleaded with Jack, nothing could dissuade him from continuing to unsuccessfully play. Until he ran out of money and Ianto refused to give him anymore.

"I think I'll have a go," Ianto said handing two pounds to the man behind the counter. He examined the darts and carefully and smiled before striking them several times across the toe of his shoe. The game operator looked at Ianto with suspicion.

"Just tapping my shoe for luck; always do that before I play darts." Ianto aimed his darts and quickly popped three balloons in succession. Jack was more than a little annoyed when Ianto picked out a pink Teddy Bear with a heart on the front for Jack.

"Come on," Ianto said, tugging Jack by the shoulder, "let's go ride the Ferris wheel." Jack, being Jack, was feeling sulky and said he didn't want to.

Holding the bear in front of him, Ianto moved the bear around saying in a falsetto voice, "Oh, Captain Jack, I so want to go on the rides. As the most expensive bear in Cardiff I should at least get a turn on the Ferris wheel." Jack snorted.

"Don't be a spoilsport, Jack," Ianto said in his normal voice. "I'll explain what happened if you go on the ride, and who knows, if you're good, you might get something a little extra." Jack's ears perked up at that; his cock did as well.

As they got on the Ferris wheel, Jack made a grab for Ianto's ass. Ianto expertly batted Jack's hand away.

"Patience Jack. Patience is always rewarded." Jack didn't notice Ianto slip the operator a fiver and a note reading, 'stop us at the top for ten minutes and there's a tenner for you at the end'.

As the Ferris wheel slowly ascended, Ianto explained why he was so easily able to win. "The game was rigged, Jack. I would think a former intergalactic playboy and conman would have figured that out." Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Ianto continued, "The darts were dull and the balloons were under-inflated making breaking them nearly impossible."

Jack began to smile. "And the shoe thing," he asked.

"Just so happens I have taps on the toes of these shoes. Taps with nice scratchy ends to sharpen a dart on." Jack looked at Ianto in amazement. Ianto shrugged. "Hey, I got tired of losing all my money trying to impress the latest Swansea beauty with my skill at darts. A little research, and voila, I win every time. You're not the only one who knows how to even up the odds," Ianto said as he reached out and stroked Jack's crotch. He quickly unzipped Jack's jeans and smiled as commando Jack's cock stood at attention.

"Ianto, as much as I'd love to, do you really think there's time…Ayyyy!" Jack yelped as Ianto got on his knees and swallowed Jack down completely. "Oh goddess," Jack moaned as Ianto released him.

"I'd say we have about ten minutes," Ianto smirked as he stroked Jack lazily. Jack was already rock hard and Ianto was confident that he'd get Jack off with time to spare. "Two rules; first if you want something, Mr. Bear has to ask for it. Second, you hold onto the sides of the car and don't let go," he said kicking Jack's legs apart.

Ianto let go of Jack but remained knelt by his feet. "Come on, Ianto, what are you waiting for." Ianto looked up at Jack with a perfectly neutral look on his face.

"Oh come on Ianto, you're kidding…oh you're not." Jack laced his fingers around the grill work at either end of the car and in his best high voice said, "Pleeez Yanny, Mr. Bear needs your mouth around his dick...now." Though the last word came out more like a growl, Ianto was not surprised Jack was willing to comply. After all, in five years of listening to Jack's outrageous stories, never, ever had Jack mentioned Ferris wheel sex.

Ianto set to work sucking Jack's cock. Jack never noticed that the ride had stopped with their car at the very top. Jack moaned as he gripped the iron grates of the car while Ianto continued to lick and suck him. Suddenly Jack felt movement as the car began to descend. He thought about warning Ianto but decided that he'd rather risk discovery than have him stop. In fact the thought of being found out pushed Jack to the brink. He felt the familiar rush of excitement in his groin as his balls tightened.

Ianto, in fact was acutely aware that time was limited and deep throated Jack, pushing Jack to his climax. Jack's hips jerked rhythmically as Ianto expertly sucked down every drop of come. As Ianto took out a handkerchief and wiped his mouth, Jack remained sprawled on the seat his hands still laced in its grate with a dazed expression on his face.

"Time to tidy up Jack," Ianto said, as he tucked Jack's flaccid cock away and zipped up his jeans. He unlaced Jack's fingers from the grates, sat him up straight and quickly pushed his hair in place. "That's better," he said surveying a disheveled but still presentable Jack. "Oh and don't forget Mr. Bear, you'll be needing him later."

As they climbed out of the Ferris wheel car, Ianto slipped the attendant a twenty. The young man looked at the bill, then at Jack's glassy eyed expression and Ianto's smirk. "Looks like you got your money's worth." Ianto favored him with a cheeky grin.

The next day it was work as usual. Gwen and Ianto went out on a call shortly after lunch to capture a weevil that turned out to be three. By the time they got back to the Hub it was dark outside. They were surprised to find only Owen there to help them unload the now sedated weevils.

"Where's Jack," Ianto asked.

Owen snorted as he and Ianto struggled to get one exceptionally large weevil out of the SUV. "Said he didn't feel well and was going home early," Owen managed to gasp out as they finally wrestled the weevil into a cell. Outside the cell, Owen stopped a moment to catch his breath. As he stood with his hands on his legs sucking in air, he looked up at Ianto. "Oh yeah, he said not to pick anything up for dinner, he'd get something on the way home."

"Great," Ianto replied. "We managed to get through yesterday without him getting sick from over-eating and now he's not feeling well. I don't want to even guess what he picked up for dinner."

Owen snickered. "So how much did he eat?"

"Let's see, I think he had two hot dogs and two cokes. Don't look at me like that; I had to bribe him not to eat any caramel corn or cotton candy."

Owen raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I had to promise him a delicious dessert later on," Ianto said winking at Owen.

"I so did not want to know that," Owen retorted.

Ianto showered at the Hub as he reckoned that Jack would be either asleep or groaning for attention when he got home. As he climbed the stairs to their flat he had to admit that yesterday had been a very nice day. It wasn't often that he got to introduce Jack to a novel location for sex. And when they had arrived home, well, Jack practically ravished Ianto as soon as they entered the apartment.

Arriving at the flat, Ianto noticed a small stuffed bear sitting outside the door. Why would Jack put the bear…oh, this was a different bear. Red, not pink, with a note pinned to it, reading 'Mr. Bear misses you.' He smiled, picked up the bear and went inside.

He called Jack's name but got no response. I'll bet he's out getting us dinner. As he walked into the kitchen and turned on the lights he startled a bit to see a larger bear, yellow this time, with a note reading, 'Mr. Bear loves you.'

Ianto sighed and shook his head. Wasn't that like Jack? He obviously went back to the carnival and won a few bears. And forgot dinner of course. He looked up as he heard a noise from their bedroom.

He crept into their bedroom and turned on the lights, yelling "AHAA!...oh." He had thought that Jack would be in bed and he would surprise him, but instead the bed had largest Teddy Bear he had ever seen leaning against the headboard. Powder blue and almost as big as a person. With a note pinned to his crotch.

Ianto leaned over the bed and read, 'Mr. Bear is horny.' Ianto yelped as he was pushed onto the bed from behind by Jack. "Mr. Bear is lonely and horny," he said in a falsetto voice as he ground himself against Ianto's arse.

Ianto smiled as Jack turned him over and began to quickly undress him. He certainly didn't object when Jack took his tie and tied his hands to the bear. He was surprised when Jack didn't go for a quickie and instead lazily tormented Ianto with nips and licks and kisses. Ianto was quickly ready to come but every time he felt his orgasm building Jack would back off just a bit.

Ianto tried to sit up. "Duw, will you just get on with it already."

"Mr. Bear does not like when you are impatient," Jack growled. Ianto groaned and lay back on the bed. Jack finally kissed way down to Ianto's cock. Jack ghosted a breath around it and licked just the tip. "My, what a big dick you have," Jack teased.

"The better to fuck you with…hell that's the wrong story," Ianto blurted out halfway between a laugh and a sob.

"Never was any good at remembering those Earth stories," Jack chuckled as he licked Ianto's balls. Jack continued to torture Ianto until he knew Ianto had reached his limit. Finally in one quick move, Jack took Ianto into his mouth expertly deep-throating him, maintaining suction all the while.

Ianto bucked up though he was already balls deep inside Jack's mouth. Jack moved up and down Ianto's cock giving Ianto what he called his 'world famous, intergalactically renowned blow job.'

Jack paused to look Ianto in the eyes and tell him. "I love everything about you Mr. Jones. They way you dress, the way you smile, they way you know everything. But know what I love best about you," Jack teased.

Ianto was so wound up that all he could do was shake his head 'no.'

"I love the way you always say my name when you come," Jack smiled as he returned his attention to Ianto's erection.

Ianto felt the tension in his body increase until he finally came. "Mr. Bear! Oh! Mr. Bear," Ianto chanted as Jack swallowed him down.

The next evening, Jack was still chuckling about Ianto's coital callings. They sat in the lounge both reading in quiet companionship.

"What?" Ianto asked looking over at him.

"Mr. Bear, Oh, Mr. Bear," Jack said in falsetto. "I can't believe you actually said that".

Ianto smiled his special 'wicked' smile.

Ianto shut his book and walked over to where Jack was sitting and kissed him on the top of his head. As he headed toward their bedroom he looked back remarking, "Honestly Jack, by now I think you'd know that sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you. Coming to bed Yogi, or is that stuffed monstrosity my companion for the evening?"

"Coming Boo-Boo," Jack laughed following closely behind.

And they both did.