Disclaimer: I didn't write and don't own the 'Twilight' series. The following story is certainly not something that would have taken place in those stories. It contains a harsh spanking scene. So, please only read it if that appeals to you.

"Goodbye, Bella," I kissed her again, hoping that if I gave her enough kisses, she would return to me sooner. Though I could hear Emmett scorning a man that would beg, I would try anything to bring my Bella back to me, so I begged, "please come back to me soon."

"See you later, darlin'" Jasper said to Alice, he sounded solemn and was thinking that he didn't want to do 'it'. He was careful not to picture what he didn't want to do, so I wasn't sure what 'it' was.

Alice whispered something to him that made him grin and he stood up straight, to attention. Then he put a warning hand on my shoulder, reminding me that he could physically restrain me if it became necessary. 'I will tie you up again if you take one step towards her' he thought.

"You won't see us till tomorrow" Rosalie said to Bella, "but don't worry, we'll be around." Then she took Emmett's hand and they ran off together.

Alice took my Bella's arm and steered her out the door. When we got into the car she said, "you need me to remind you of the cover story now." To me, she thought 'please, Edward, try to be good.' I wasn't sure what she meant. Surely she didn't think that I was going to sneak out. I hadn't planned on doing that at all. I had planned on going to my room and staying there all night, thinking about all the things that I'd done wrong.

Jasper and Esme looked at each other. Esme was thinking about my last rebellion and how young and frightened I had looked when I returned to her and to Carlisle. Jasper was saying to himself, over and over, 'it has to be done. It has to be done'.

"Try and . . ." Esme hesitated, she wasn't sure what to say without interfering, she thought 'I know that we agreed to this, but now it's happening, I feel so scared for him'. "Don't take too long," she said finally.

Jasper nodded, then he turned to me and said, "Edward, you and I are going to have a quiet word in my study."

He took his hand from my shoulder and strode off, obviously expecting me to follow him. I wasn't sure why, but I began to feel nervous. I'd been in Jasper's study before, he liked to read in there and we'd sat there to talk about all sorts of things: books, courses; serious discussions often took place in Jasper's study. It was a comfortable place to sit and I usually liked it there. Right now, however, I felt anxious.

Jasper walked in first and I felt butterflies in my stomach it reminded me of . . . of something from my human life, but I wasn't quite sure what. In my vampire life, the only time that I had felt like this was when I had returned to Esme and Carlisle after my rebellious phase. Maybe I was only thinking about that because Esme had been thinking about it earlier. Whatever the reason, I felt the need to take a deep breath before I followed Jasper into his study.

Jasper sat on his big leather chair behind his desk. He didn't invite me to sit, so I stayed standing, clasping my hands loosely behind my back. Jasper leaned back in his chair, clasped his hands in front of him and fixed his eyes on my face, with a stern expression.

I suddenly realised what this felt like, at just the same moment as Jasper thought it 'it's like being summoned into the headmaster's study'. My heart, if I'd had one, would have sunk. Jasper was going to give me a talking-to. I'd been brought in here because I'd almost got Alice killed and Jasper was going to yell at me.

Last night, I'd been summoned to Carlisle's office. He'd scolded me and told me that I wasn't allowed out of the house until he gave me permission. That was when I'd tried to persuade him to let me see Bella. I'd begged him to let me go. He'd refused again, and then I'd tried to fight. Thinking about it, I realised that I'd got off very lightly with Carlisle, he'd barely chastised me at all for my behaviour. Now I knew why. He'd deputised. I was going to get my lecture from Jasper instead.

He's nervous, at least. Jasper thought, that saves me a job. I won't have to project nerves onto him. I wonder why he's nervous. Is it because he knows what he deserves or because he doesn't understand what I'm doing?

"I know that I deserve whatever you have for me," I told him honestly.

That's annoying. He thought. "I don't want you to answer my thoughts," he said, "I want you to concentrate on my actual words, alright?"

"Of course, my apologies, Jasper."

Major Whitlock. He thought, automatically correcting me. Since I was in disgrace and standing before him, he immediately imagined me as a guilty subordinate, and I tried not to grin. "We have talked a lot about your actions today," he said solemnly, though we haven't even begun to touch on how serious your behaviour is "but I think that there is still more to be said. I think that you need to understand how serious your actions were and exactly what the consequences could have been." and still might be.

I didn't answer any of his words, either spoken or unspoken. I thought that I did understand what I'd done and how serious it was, but I wasn't expected to contradict Jasper right now.

"If you had been killed," he began, one at a time, Jasper, "it would have broken this family apart. We would have been miserable. You would have destroyed Esme" she can't lose another son, how could he be so thoughtless? "You would have destroyed Carlisle's faith in himself. Alice," one at a time, we'll get to that bit, "would have been heart-broken. Rosalie would have never recovered. When we realised what you had done, that you were trying to get yourself destroyed, it broke everyone's hearts. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

I nodded, then, knowing that wasn't enough, I said meekly, "yes, sir."

'Sir?' I should probably stop him . . . maybe when we're done here. "Do you know how selfish it was for you to consider leaving us in that way? Tell me, Edward, did you spare a single thought for the family that you were leaving behind?"

Jasper's gift would mean that he would know if I was lying, he knew the exact surge of nervousness that I got when I lied. I should tell the truth, "um . . . not enough thought, sir." That was, at least, true.

Self-centred brat! Jasper thought, he never even considered his family. "Tell me the truth," he said sternly, "did you think about the consequences for your family? Did you think about how much you would upset us all?"

"No, sir, I'm sorry, I -"

Jasper cut me off, "you can apologise later," he said, we have so many more charges to get through. "Did you stop to think about the more physical consequences?" he asked, "you knew that you would reveal the size of our family to the Volturi. Did you think about what would be the likely result of that?" They won't want to leave us alone. We're big enough to be considered a threat. We will never get away from the consequences of Edward's little trip.

"No, sir," I wanted to apologise again, but I didn't want to annoy Jasper. He was starting to scare me. What was going to happen when he finished his list of charges?

The boy's an idiot! A self-centred idiot. He's a danger to have around.

I winced at Jasper's last thought.

I have got to deal with this now. He continued in his mind. He has to be taught control. "Do you know now, what the results of your behaviour might be?"

He was going to make me say it aloud, he must truly hate me. "Yes, sir," I said, "now that the Volturi know how many are in this coven, they may try to find an excuse to destroy us or split us up. Now that they know of my gift and Alice's gift, they may try more devious ways to force us to join their guard."

How dare he sound so calm while he says that?

"I'm not calm, I swear."

"Edward," Jasper warned me, "answer my words, not my thoughts."

I bowed my head. The thoughts were torture to me. Jasper thought so badly of me and he was ordering me not to defend myself. Still, that was what I deserved. I would stand here and take it.

Where was I? Ah, yes, consequences. "Did you guess that Alice would follow you?"

I winced, I didn't know. Had I guessed? Well, of course she was bound to. I had hurried, I had wanted to get the thing finished before she arrived. I had kept changing my mind as to exactly what I would do, I had tried to hide from her. Yes, I'd known that she would follow me. "Yes, sir."

I should kill him. I have every right to kill him. "Are you telling me that you knowingly led Alice into a situation where she was likely to be destroyed?"

"Because I wasn't thinking, sir."

He has to think. He must learn to think about the consequences of his actions before he acts. Maybe Alice was right. "You thought about nobody but yourself," he told me, and I screamed inside as though he'd struck me, because I knew that it was true. "Do you realise the risk to which you exposed your Bella?"

Yes, and I will hate myself forever because of it. "Yes, sir."

"Tell me," he said. This is going to hurt, but he has to face up to what he's done.

"I led Bella into a coven, the most powerful coven, of vampires. They might have killed her or turned her. Any slight slip might have injured her fatally. They might have decided to torture her in order to punish me for betraying the secret. It was sheer luck that brought her out alive. I know that, sir. And it was all my fault. I know that too."

He does look cut up about it. I can't imagine if I had put Alice in danger. My job is to protect her. How can he have forgotten that? "Why didn't you check your facts before you went?" Reckless brat.

"I was very upset, sir. I thought that Bella was dead." He couldn't know the pain that I felt at that moment. It was so painful that I lost my mind.

Doesn't he know how important it is to keep your head? Because he let his emotions take over he almost caused the thing that he dreaded most. "You let your sorrow cloud your vision," he said, "if you had stopped to think, you would have come back to Forks and mourned Bella properly. Had she died, that would have been the correct thing to do."

Of course he was right. I would have missed her funeral. I would have missed the chance to say goodbye. What kind of a mourner was I?

"You focussed on your own feelings, even when you thought that Bella was dead. You didn't even stop to honour her memory. Do you know what that makes you?"

"Deplorably self-centred," I said, and I hated him for making me say that. I hated him for making my desperate grief sound like a child's tantrum and for making me say it aloud.

Angry? He thought, at whom? He must be angry at me. Insolent puppy. "Do you understand that, even if you hadn't been wrong about Bella's death, what you did would still have been wrong?" I can't discipline him, if he doesn't understand what he's done to deserve it.

"Yes, sir. I understand that I was only thinking about myself. I wanted to end the pain that I felt and I didn't think about the pain that I would cause. I wanted to throw myself into danger and I didn't think about the family who would be forced into danger along with me." I hate him for knowing how much of a monster I am and I hate him for forcing me to see it.

Then it's time. "Well," he said, "this behaviour is unacceptable. You cannot put the family in danger like this. This afternoon we came up with a few safe-guards that will, hopefully, prevent you repeating your exploits. But, it is important that you also face the consequences of what you have done."

This is it, he's going to ask me to leave the family.

"You have a lot of apologies to make," he said, "and I expect to see you attempting to make amends"

"Yes, sir. I will." How was I going to make up for what I'd done?

Confusion. He doesn't know where to start. "For disobeying Esme and Carlisle yesterday, you must apologise and you must fix all of the damage that you did. You must apologise to Rosalie for the way that you treated her yesterday. You cannot blame her for your own stupidity. You must apologise to Alice for endangering her. You must apologise to Emmett for fighting with him yesterday. You must apologise to Bella for putting her in danger and to Charlie for frightening him. You must accept the consequences that they give you without complaint. Remember that you brought all this on yourself."

"Yes, sir." I hated saying that. Jasper didn't look much older than me. But, he was a lot older, I knew that really. He's never assumed any authority over me before. I suppose that I'd never shown any need. Of course I didn't behave perfectly; I had stepped out of line a couple of times, but Carlisle and Esme had punished me and Jasper had never been involved. He was my brother. I'd never thought of him as anything else. But now, he had me standing in front of him calling him 'sir'. He wasn't Jasper anymore, now he was Major Whitlock.

He's scared. He's not scared like I would be, he's scared like a child. Alice was right. "You're not actually a child anymore," he said, "but you have certainly been behaving like one. So, I am going to give you a choice. If you would like to be treated like a child, you can lay yourself over my lap and I will spank you. If you would like to be treated like an adult, I am going to challenge you to a fight. You are either a disobedient child who needs a smack or another male who endangered my mate and my coven. Which is it?"

I stared at him. What on earth did he expect me to do? He couldn't think that I was going to submit to being spanked. I am over a hundred years old, whatever I may look like. There is no way that I am laying myself over anyone's knee, let alone my brother's. Would he expect me to bend over and let Emmett thrash me too?

Maybe it would be different if Carlisle was sat there. But, he didn't treat me like a five year-old. Carlisle had taken my cars and grounded me, that was true. But, even he didn't suggest a beating. I understood that my family were angry. Jasper was especially angry, and he had every right. I had endangered his mate. Of course he wanted to hurt me. But, he couldn't think that I was going to submit to a child's punishment.

Surprise. Jasper thought, I guess Carlisle has never spanked him. Perhaps that explains how we ended up in this situation in the first place. The boy's been spoilt rotten. Esme dotes on him, Carlisle puts up with his sulks and tantrums. Is he going to fight me?

Was I going to fight Jasper? He would definitely win. He might even destroy me. Would he tear me into pieces? Would he set fire to them? He might just leave me in a pile of twitching limbs and let me slowly crawl back together.

The front door opened and we both listened for the footfall. Alice was home. She ran into the kitchen and found Esme, who was cleaning up. Nothing was dirty, she must have been trying to distract herself. Through Alice's eyes, I saw Esme's face. She was so worried and tense. Alice asked her to come into the lounge. She suggested that they put the television on to disguise the noise. I wondered what noise Alice was expecting to hear. Was it the noise of me fighting her mate, or the noise of him beating me? Alice was singing 'Let it Be' to herself so that I couldn't hear any other thoughts from her. They put on the television and attempted to watch a movie.

He's just standing there, Jasper thought, he doesn't know what to do. He's afraid to fight me, of course, but he's also afraid to let me discipline him. I recognise the feelings coming from him. This is what I felt like when . . . 'Edward, you're listening to my thoughts' he interrupted his own musings by addressing me.

I was embarrassed about being caught listening. Of course I could always hear thoughts, but deliberately concentrating on them when they weren't aimed at me was rude, and I knew it. I looked away from Jasper's face, down at my feet. I was wearing trainers, which was unusual for me. But Alice had handed them to me, when she'd insisted that I put on an untorn outfit earlier. I was wearing a green shirt and a pair of khaki cargo-pants, so it wouldn't really look right if I put on my usual polished leather shoes. I hadn't commented on Alice's choice of outfit at the time, but I wondered now if I was dressed casually in case of a fight.

Jasper – who must also have been dressed by Alice, since he was always dressed by Alice – was wearing the same outfit that he's been wearing when I first met him. Why hadn't I noticed that before? He was wearing smart blue dress trousers and a grey coat with gold buttons. He had put his riding boots on. Of course, he and Alice had been joking about 'General Swan' before they went upstairs, perhaps he was dressed up because of that conversation. But Alice usually focussed on the future and not the past when she dressed us. Was his army uniform an indication that she expected him to fight me? Why had he bothered to discuss the details of my grounding if he was planning on killing me tonight?

He's just a child who doesn't want to accept his punishment, Jasper thought, I should end this now.

He stood up and strode over to me. I thought that he was going to punch me. I stood my ground, figuring that I'd rather he started the fight. Then, instead of hitting me, which is what I'd expected, he picked me up. He grabbed both my wrists in his left hand and he grabbed a handy loop on my waist in his right hand. He held me in the air, dangling from his hands and lifted me up and down experimentally, as if he was guessing my weight. I twisted my neck around to look at him. For a second, the serious look left his face, "Alice gave you handles," he said, as if he thought that was extremely funny and rather touching, she wanted to make this as easy as it could be for me, he thought.

Then the serious look returned and he carried me with him as he returned to his chair. He sat down and arranged me over his lap. He pulled my hands over my head and set them on the floor to steady me on one side and let my feet rest against the floor to steady me on the other. With a quick, deft movement, as if we had done this many times before, he pulled down my pants and left them around my ankles.

I heard the volume of the television being turned up.

Jasper hesitated for a couple of seconds, wondering if he was going to leave my underpants in place. He didn't want me humiliated. Then, he smiled to himself and thought half the point of pulling the boy over my knee is to humiliate him. He tugged my underpants down and pushed them to my ankles.

He let me have a couple more seconds to take in my position and to consider that I was laid, bare-assed over his lap, awaiting a well-deserved spanking. Then he set to work.

I was surprised by how much the first swat stung. Never having been spanked as a vampire, I hadn't really known what to expect, but it hurt quite a lot. Memories of my human childhood flooded back and I remembered being a small boy getting spanked by my nurse. This felt a lot like that. I had the same horrible mixture of guilt and shame and physical pain as I had done when I was a human child. I also remembered being flogged by my father. I couldn't remember what my crime had been, but I recalled the horrible theatrical way in which he'd called me into his office, given me a dressing-down, then sent me to fetch his cane from his bedroom. I remembered his order to 'assume the position' and the tense wait while his cane whistled through the air, before it came crashing down on my backside. My father had left me fully clothed, as I recalled it. I wished that Jasper had as much regard for modesty. At least he didn't build up any anticipation. Each smack followed rapidly on the heels of the one before, there was no time for me to fear the next blow.

Knowing that Alice and Esme were in the house, I was determined not to cry out. I held my lips tightly together and reminded myself that I certainly deserved this. I had no right to protest and I shouldn't distress my family by making them listen to my suffering. If I could stay silent through Jane's attack, then I could take a simple spanking in silence.

My human authority figures had not kept it up for long. Their arms had tired and they had stopped after only a few minutes. Jasper, however, would never tire. He could probably keep this up all night if he wished. My human father used to make me count out the strokes. It was lucky that Jasper hadn't had a similar idea. A part of my mind couldn't help counting them and we had reached 204 already. If I counted out every blow, Alice and Esme would go mad.

The idea made me smile and suddenly the intensity increased. Jasper began hitting harder and faster. I couldn't think of anything but the pain. He was hurting me. I wanted him to stop. I wanted someone to come and make it stop. I wished that I could undo what I'd done to make Jasper so angry.

I heard myself whimper quietly.

It wasn't quiet enough, Esme heard the sound and she thought 'I shouldn't have agreed to this. Edward is suffering. I should go to him.'

I heard Alice tell her that it was going to be alright, that I would thank Jasper in the morning, and that I would be sincerely grateful.

Esme nodded, but she didn't seem convinced.

I was even less convinced. There was no way that I was going to be grateful. This was embarrassing and so, so painful. Why hadn't Jasper stopped yet?

He kept going, the smacks kept coming down, hard and fast. He had a rhythm and I knew when to expect the next surge of pain. My skin was sore and each time Jasper hit me it aggravated the injury. I could heal rapidly, I knew, but Jasper could hit faster than I could heal. I was getting sorer with each smack. Each minute that passed brought me more pain. It felt hot, too, hotter than Bella's skin. The friction must be doing that. Jasper probably felt the same heat in his hand. I wondered if his hand hurt as much as my ass did.

It wouldn't be fair for me to be hurting so much and Jasper to be perfectly comfortable, I thought. But I quickly changed my mind. I was the one who had messed up. I deserved to be in pain. Jasper didn't deserve any pain at all. It must be hurting his hand by now, and that wasn't fair really. He had already had to suffer because of my idiocy. He had been afraid that Alice would never return to him, because of me.

How could I do that to him? Knowing how it felt to believe that I'd lost Bella, I let Jasper believe that he'd lost Alice. Worse than that: I made Jasper believe that he could lose Alice. How could I allow someone else to experience that suffering?

I thought back over the charges that Jasper had levelled against me. He's accused me of endangering everyone, of trying to bereave them, of not respecting Bella's memory, of disobeying Esme and Carlisle, of insulting Rosalie. But he hadn't mentioned what I'd done to him. He hadn't mentioned that I'd almost robbed him of his Alice, that I'd forced him to wait, helpless, wondering if she would return to him. He'd told me of all the apologies that I owed, except the one that I owed him.

This was why it was Jasper who was delivering my punishment. It was only Jasper who understood why I had done what I'd done. He knew exactly how I'd felt, when I thought that I'd lost my Bella, because, thanks to me, he had thought that he'd lost his Alice. But Jasper hadn't reacted at all like me. He hadn't done anything stupid. He had got on with preparing a cover story. He had continued to be responsible. When he did see Alice again, she was proud of him. When I saw Bella again, I was tied to a chair, because I still couldn't control myself.

Jasper had every right to smack me, because he knew exactly what I'd been through and he knew what I should have done. Not only that, but Jasper had been through the same thing and he'd responded correctly. This wasn't about my age or his age. This wasn't even about how long it had been since we'd been changed. I belonged over his knee, because he was the one who got right what I'd got wrong.

I wondered why the pain didn't stop when I reached my epiphany. Couldn't he tell that I'd learned my lesson now? I knew what I'd done wrong. I was determined to never do anything so stupid and thoughtless again. I even respected Jasper for doing this to me. Wasn't that what he was hoping for? Wasn't I feeling the right things now? Wasn't it time for him to stop and let me cool down?

Even though he had been displeased when he'd noticed me doing it before, I decided to seek out his mind and see if I could work out when he was going to stop.

He's very quiet, Jasper was thinking, he hasn't struggled at all. I'm sure that he can't be comfortable. I can feel that he's still guilty, still shameful, and there's a touch of desperation. He whimpered when I sped up. Perhaps . . .

For a second time, Jasper upped the intensity of my punishment. He brought his hand down much harder than before. I hadn't realised that he had been holding anything at all back, but now I realised that he had hit me with only a fraction of his true force. How strong was he? We'd wrestled before, but I'd never felt such a strong blow from him. If he hit any other part of my body, he would have broken a bone.

I gasped at the first smack that he dealt with this new strength.

Better, Jasper thought, but then he changed his mind, unless he's reacting because he can hear me and this is what he thinks I'm looking for. Better safe than sorry, I'll go for a few more minutes.

Another whimper escaped my lips.

He's definitely listening to me. Jasper thought angrily, and he smacked me a few times on my thighs, to show that he was displeased. "Concentrate on what you're being punished for," he told me sternly, "stop trying to guess how much longer it's going to last." It's going to have to go on for a lot longer, he thought to himself. He didn't seem to be enjoying his revenge. He seemed resigned to it.

Huh, I thought, it's all very well for Jasper to be getting a bit fed up. He should think about how it feels for me.

I felt another flurry of slaps on my thighs. Jasper had felt my annoyance and was showing that he didn't like it.

Suddenly an over-whelming feeling of misery came over me. I began to sob in the tearless way that we do. Misery? Where had that come from? It must be Jasper. Whenever he threw strong feelings, they came on in a sort of wave. He didn't like me feeling annoyed so he made me miserable instead. He was back to the main spanking on my ass again, still extra-hard and still pretty fast.

Of course, I can't tell how he's really feeling now, Jasper thought to himself, but this is better than resentment. Does he think that I'm doing this for my own pleasure?

The misery increased. It was as though there was nothing good left anymore. As though everywhere was rain and goodbyes. I sobbed helplessly.

"You're right, Alice," Jasper spoke out loud. The misery subsided, though the spanking didn't miss a beat.

Alice must have told him to quit fiddling about with my emotions. What with the huge doses of misery and the constant raining of smacks, I hadn't noticed Alice's thoughts or words at all. I wish that she'd told him to ease up on the punishment altogether. But nobody was going to tell him to stop. I deserved so much more. I deserved to be over Jasper's knee for days, perhaps that was the plan. Perhaps he was only going to let me up when Carlisle came home to take over from him. Maybe that was the plan: three months confined to the house, and most of it spent over someone's lap being reminded that I was a self-centred brat.

Despair, Jasper thought, that's new, and I don't think it's me. I've pulled away from him completely.

He hadn't pulled away from me, he was still beating me. Had he been doing it for so long that he didn't even notice anymore? If he did stop I wasn't sure that I would be able to feel anything at all. I wondered if I would always feel his hand striking me. Maybe that was what he was doing, maybe there was a point at which our memories freeze and we imagine that we're stuck in one moment forever. Maybe Jasper was going to get my mind stuck here, trapped over his lap forever: eternally receiving my punishment.

I began to sob again. It wasn't Jasper anymore. It was me. I'd finally reached my limit. I wasn't sorry about what I'd done anymore. I couldn't think about what I'd done. All that I could think about was the pain. I just wished that it would stop. I knew that I deserved it, but I couldn't stand it. I wished Jasper would take pity on me.

As I sobbed, I felt the pattern change. The smacks came slower and harder. He pulled his hand much further back so that there was more force in each blow, but he paused between the blows.

He dealt me a dozen of these super-smacks. Then he stopped, and, while I tried to take stock of the damage that had been done, he said "can you talk?"

I gasped for air and tried to say "yes," but it came out a bit strangled, and turned into another round of sobbing.

I felt Jasper's hand on my back, rubbing circles, "try again," he said, "try to talk to me."

"Yes, sir," I said, my voice sounded surprisingly small.

"That's good," he said warmly, he sounded fine. It was as though he hadn't been through this horrible hour at all. "Now, do you remember why I had to punish you?"

"Yes, sir," I said, anxious to get it all right, I didn't want him to think that I hadn't learned my lesson. "I endangered the whole family," I told him, "by bringing them to the attention of the Volturi."

"That's right," he said, giving me a quick smack.

"And," I went on hurriedly "and I was going to try and get myself killed without worrying about how upset everyone would be."

"Correct," and another smack.

"I led Alice into danger," I continued.

This smack was the hardest so far. I had to pause and collect myself again before I could speak.

"I almost got Bella killed, or worse" I went on.

He smacked me again, almost as hard as he had done for Alice.

"I disobeyed Esme and Carlisle."

I got two smacks for that, which was fair enough, I didn't deserve to get any lessening of punishment by mentioning two crimes in the same sentence.

"I was rude to Rosalie."

He hit me pretty hard. Being rude to a lady was a big deal.

"I fought against you and Emmett."

I was expecting another harsh smack for that one, and tensed up in preparation, but Jasper actually chuckled and gave me two light swats.

"I wasn't thinking," I said, "I should have checked my facts and I should have paid proper respect to Bella's memory, not run off thinking only of myself."

Again, the swat was a lot lighter than I expected.

"I let you think that you were going to lose Alice, even though I knew how horrendous the pain of that would be."

Jasper paused, he didn't smack me for that, instead he said, "I didn't tell you that I was going to spank you for that, Edward. I didn't even think about it."

"I know," I said, "but I ought to be punished for it. You ought to spank me again if you haven't finished, sir." I wondered if he would start all over again. I would probably start crying right away this time. I was still so sore.

"I've finished," he said, in that warm voice again. "You may get up and dress yourself again."

I'd forgotten that I was half-naked. After the discussion that we'd had, and after he'd spanked me hard enough to make me whimper and sob, it seemed foolish to be embarrassed that I wasn't dressed. None the less, I rose and tugged my clothes back on as quickly as I could. The fabric irritated my now very sensitive skin. When I pulled up my pants I noticed that my thighs stung as well as my ass. The extra blows that Jasper had given me when I irritated him had been quite heavy. I was stood in front of him again, but it wasn't quite the same as before he'd spanked me.

I couldn't look at Jasper the same way anymore. It was hard to believe that a little over an hour ago I had questioned his right to punish me. It seemed like a natural thing now, for Jasper to discipline me. I waited to hear what he had to say and wondered if he was going to tell me that it wasn't over yet.

"You have some apologies to deliver," he reminded me. "I'm not going to promise you that this is all over. You have received your punishment in full for your trip to Italy, but I will spank you again if I think that your future actions deserve it. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," I said, he looked at me expectantly, so I told him what I understood from his words "if I don't behave better, I'll end up back over your knee."

He nodded, satisfied with my interpretation. "In a few days," he continued, "I'll expect you to tell me how all your apologies have gone. So, don't think that you're going to get away with skipping a single one."

"No, sir."

"Alright," he stood up, as if he was about to dismiss me, "and, Edward, you really don't need to call me 'sir', 'Jasper' is fine. I know that I was a bit harsh with you, particularly at the beginning, but I still want to be your big brother. I don't want you to be scared of me."

That's why I didn't really want to do this, he thought sadly, but, there wasn't really anyone else who could. And goodness knows he needed it.

"Jasper," I said, trying his name out on my lips, "um . . . I'm not sure that I'll be altogether comfortable for a bit. But, I am grateful that you went to the trouble of um . . . disciplining me. I will try not to be scared of you. May I go to my room now, please?" I really wanted to be alone. I needed to nurse my broken pride and my sore ass. I just wanted to sob alone for a bit.

Jasper gave me an appraising look, "I think that you'd be better off in the lounge," he said, "but I'm not going to give you any orders. It's over now."