/-WARNING: Vulgar language WILL be present-\

A/N: Alrighty, ummm, yeah, this has a parody of the song 'Move Bitch' and is the POV of Sarah Lyons ….ENJOY!

'God, this is why I hate DC' Sarah Lyons thought as she was hiding behind a wall trying not to be seen by the super mutants who were right across the opening of the metro tunnel. As she was straining her ears to try to hear the super mutants that might be trying to sneak up on them, 'If any of them are that smart' Instead of hearing super mutants, however, she heard someone humming a tune and footsteps.

"I WILL RIP YOUR FACE OFF!" A super mutant shouted but before Sarah could do anything she heard the sound of a Frag Grenade exploding. 'The fuck?' the humming soon returned followed by a male voice that said,

"Oh, lookey here, .32 rounds, Hunting Rifle parts, and Mole Rat Meat. Well… I found dinner" Sarah was amazed that any person, even raiders, would be so loud in the middle of DC. Walking out from behind the wall she turned to where the voice came from to see a figure in an armored blue jumpsuit with a blue beret, blue facemask, black gloves with studs on the knuckles, and sunglasses over his eyes. In front of him was a black pack that had what looked like a Sniper Rifle disassembled into two parts attached to one side while two Frag Mines and a couple grenades were on the other side. Sarah took one step forwards but as soon as her foot hit the ground the figure instantly rolled behind a piece of debris and than popped up with a Hunting Rifle raised. Sarah was surprised at the speed of his reaction and the fact that he could hear her in the first place. Upon closer look Sarah could see that he had a 10mm Pistol holstered on his right thigh and a Sawed-Off Shotgun on his left hip configured so that it could be cross-drawn directly by his right hand.

"Wait… your those Brotherhood people I've heard so much about right?" asked the strange man who just gets stranger, and a bit scarier, each second. Snapping out of her thoughts Sarah replied,

"Yeah, that we are"

"Cool" he responded as he lowered his rifle and than, much to Sarah's surprise, he actually crouched down and did a backwards roll across the ground back to his pack. The strange man than finished packing his loot before he closed the pack and than put it on. Afterwards he walked around the metro tunnel to Sarah and she could see that on the right strap of the pack there was a sheathed knife that could be unsheathed downwards and that on the other strap were two grenades. The pack also had a chest strap that would hold it there in case he had to move fast. Soon the man was in front of her and Sarah could see that on the collar of the gold-trimmed blue jumpsuit was a gold '101'. This number was also on the front of the beret and on the top of the facemask on the right cheek.

"So… you guys know where GNR is?" he asked

"Uh, yeah, we're headed there to reinforce our brothers who are getting attacked by super mutants" Sarah responded.

"Cool, my name's Allan by the way" he said as he extended his left hand for a handshake, since his other hand was ready to pull the trigger in a moments notice.

"I'm Sarah" she said as she shook his hand.

"Mam, are we gonna assault the school?" Paladin Vargas asked as he came around the corner but than he spotted Allan and asked,

"Who's he?"

"He's just coming with us to GNR" Sarah said as she started walking back to the hideout while waving for Allan to follow her. Soon they were at Colvin and than Sarah was really surprised when she turned around to see Allan scavenging her dead brother's Energy Cells.

"Hey, we respect our deceased!" Initiate Reddin yelled out as she came… mask-to-helmet with Allan. Allan than smiled and bent down and plucked something from the brother's neck and than stood back up, still smiling, while letting the brother's holotag dangle from his hand.

"Apparently not," Reddin grunted in disgust but Vargas quickly snatched the tags and than Allan continued, "besides.. I need caps to survive and these bring in a good amount of said caps" Reddin looked like she was about to blow but at that moment Vargas jumped in,

"Reddin, leave him alone, we have to take the school" Allan than started to laugh manically.

"Why are you laughing?" Colvin asked, just now joining the conversation. In response, Allan just kept laughing but also pulled out a grenade in his left hand. Than, just as suddenly he stopped laughing and had an air of sadness about him. He than put back the grenade and leaned his Hunting Rifle against the wall. He than started to access a Pip-Boy that was on his wrist. He started whispering to himself saying, "No…" "Not now" "Nah" but finally ended with, "Fuck yeah." Hitting a button, music started spilling from the small device's speakers. It sounded like the 'rock' music that was starting to come into style before the Great War.

"The fuck is that shit?" Reddin asked. Allan picked up his Hunting Rifle and pulled out the grenade again before saying,

"It's called 'Monster' by Skillet" Sarah had to admit by from what she heard, the song fit the wasteland. However, Allan started to laugh manically again and than, to add to the team's surprise and confusion, he charged straight out of the hidey-hole and directly towards the super mutant infested school, laughing like a madman.

"FRESH MEAT" a super mutant yelled as two ran out the doorway and one appeared in the upper-floor window. Allan just kept on laughing as he pulled the pin and threw the grenade between the two ground floor mutants, blowing off their legs and arms. He than raised his rifle and fired three rounds, killing the mutant. Allan than raised the rifle over his head and down to behind his back and slid it into a hidden pocket on his pack before he drew out his 10mm Pistol and unsheathed his knife before charging straight inside, still laughing insanely.

"Uhhh…" Sarah couldn't think of anything to say at the man's actions.

"That guy is…. AWESOME!" Reddin shouted,

"He's unique, anyways, shouldn't we help him?" Colvin said, snapping Sarah out of her thoughts,

"Yeah, Lyon's Pride, advance!" she yelled before charging at the school with the pride behind her. When she entered the school a super mutant jumped out of a classroom door in front of her but before anyone could do anything Allan appeared out of nowhere, but apparently jumping from the upper walkway, and landed on the mutants back started repeatedly stabbing the mutant in the head and neck, still laughing insanely. Once the mutant stopped screaming Allan hopped off his back and than charged towards the GNR Plaza where more gunfire could be heard. All that Sarah heard was the singer of the song scream,

"I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER!" well that and his laughing. As Lyon's Pride moved through the school, all they were met with were the dead bodies of the super mutants. Than once they got to the Plaza all they saw was Allan standing next to the statue covered in mutant blood and that all of the Brotherhood personal were pointing there weapons at them. Some of the soldiers you could smell their fear. The song had apparently ended since the speakers were silent and Allan had finally stopped laughing. His weapons were put away and he kneeled down next to a Knight who's dead body fell on the fence and picked up, much to the Pride's dismay, a Fat Man that the Knight had. He than turned to the Pride and yelled out,

"Yo! Sarah, the fuck is this?"

"Uh… that's called a Fat Man and it, uhhh… fires Mini Nukes" Sarah replied uncertainly,

"No shit?" he asked and than he bent down again and picked up a pack that looked to have four of the Mini Nukes in it, 'shit' she thought, "You mean these?" he asked as he jingled the bag like it was just full of rocks.

"Yes, don't shake the bag!" Sarah shouted and before Allan could respond they all heard the ground shaking and than a Knight shouted,

"Behemoth!" Sarah looked at where he pointed to and than back to Allan to see, expectantly, that he was loading the Fat Man and than hefted it onto his shoulder with a unseen insane smile on his face. Suddenly the Behemoth came charging into the Plaza, destroying the few cars and bus blocking the way. Before Sarah could say 'Attack' she heard Allan start laughing before he yelled,

"Knock, Knock!" and than she saw a Mini Nuke fly from the Fat Man and soar through the air into the Behemoth's face, instantly killing it. Sarah lowered her rifle and wondered to herself how this day could get any weirder. But than….

"BOOM BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY! GET OUT THE WAY BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Everyone was staring at Allan after that and than he asked,

"Hey, can I keep this?"

"NO!" shouted all of the Brotherhood guys at once. He set down the Fat Man and than held up the Mini Nukes again,

"Can I keep these?"

"They're useless without the Fat Man" Vargas whispered to Sarah who than nodded and said,

"Go for it"

"Sweeeeet!"

Two Months Later

On the cliffs of Evergreen Mills a strange black object was advancing to the cliff. The figure had on black combat armor, not a Talon's armor, a black beret, and a black facemask. The area around his eyes was also painted black to fit the color and on his hands were black gloves with studs on the knuckles. The figure crouched down at the edge and pulled out a strange looking tube and a hook that was attached to a rope. The figure than stabbed the hook into the rock and than put the tube on his shoulder and pulled a trigger, causing a harpoon like object to shoot out and attach to the roof of the Mill's main building. The man than took a bent wire hangar out and put it on the rope and than jumped off the edge. He slid down to the roof and once he was there he took another rope and attached a hook to the first rope and dropped the rest to the ground. The man than slid down the rope to the front of the building, right next to the door, and than he dropped his pack he had on, hiding behind a piece of rubble. He than slid back up the ropes to the cliff, taking the ropes with him. He than casually walked away from the Mills and once he was about half a mile away he stopped and turned around. Reaching into a pouch he pulled out what looked to be an average looking pen. He than flipped up the top of the pen to show a red button and than, with only a slight pause to let a short manic laugh escape he pressed the button. The scene that devastated the wasteland for miles around was that of a mushroom cloud rising up from Evergreen Mills and the shockwave that followed knocked down trees and damaged shacks. The figure laughed some more and than turned around and started to walk off into the wasteland. On the front of the man's beret, colored in grey, were the numbers…

101

A/N: Hehehehehehe! To clarify things… I KNOW THERE AREN'T ANY FACEMASKS AND BERETS AND ALL THAT IN FALLOUT 3! AND…. I DON'T CARE! GET OVER IT! I THINK IT HELPED WITH THE STORY! Anyways… ahem… hope you injured it. Please leave me a review of what you thought about the 'Crazed Wanderer'

ΦThe RescuerΦ