Chapter IV

Days dragged on like months. I had no idea which move to make, if any, so I just went back to my daily routine.

Work. Home. Sleep. Every day went back to the same monotonous blend. It was bland, but things were comfortably predictable again, and that was enough for me... except that's a total lie. No matter what I did my mind kept flip-flopping over to that evening at dusk I stormed over to the wizard's house and confronted him, the subsequent events swirling together in a crazy mismash of emotions that are hard to piece together even now.

He wanted to see me again, that's one thing that was certain. And I had no idea what to do about it. I felt strangely unfulfilled at the thought of doing nothing, but my stomach seized up with just the idea of facing him again.

I didn't even know this man. I had barely heard of him up until recently. But the thought of seeing those strange eyes again fascinated me – though I hadn't made the comparison this early on, I had taken my first hit, and I was already addicted.

A new beat thrummed through me the morning I woke up and decided that, yeah, I'd see him again. When I woke up I went through the same routine I did every morning, but how I went about it was different. It's hard for me to explain, honestly. My shower was hotter and longer than normal; and believe me, I like them prolonged and scalding. I actually blow-dried my hair for the first time in what seems like forever, not satisfied with my usual technique of pinning the unruly parts back with bobby pins. And I didn't just brush it like normal, but combed it. Which, for my ungodly thick tangle of a mane, is a chore in and of its own. And when I ended up in front of the mirror God help me I was there for forever, tweezing the peace fuzz between my eyebrows, fixing my hair just so, fretting over my teeth until they shone like a damned light. I even gave myself an extra spray-down of cologne and considered running a razor over the beard I couldn't grow. Just about the only body part I didn't stress over were my nails, which I already had this OCD complex of keeping clean.

I've never owned nice clothes. Well, that's if you don't count the worn old children's suit they made me wear to church on Sundays at the orphanage – which I'm sure you don't. Anyway, needless to say I was stuck with my normal everyday clothing, but it didn't bother me too much. An extra dash of cologne and some straightening up and I was ready to go.

Willing myself to walk out the door was the hardest part, really. I stood there in the kitchen, burning away twenty minutes and three cigarettes before I finally left the house and headed to town. It was actually a spectacular day, a stark contrast to the dark, gloomy weather we'd been having the past couple weeks. It genuinely felt like spring rather than a hollow shell of what it should be. When I got to town I even scented the warm, salty aroma that wafts in from the sea whenever the winter finally begins to melt away for real. Normally I prefer the chilly weather that sends most people bundling back inside. But today the warm change seemed to resonate perfectly with the strange hum I had been feeling since the moment I woke up.

Oddly confident as I scaled the steps up to his door, I rapped five times on it without hesitation and took a couple steps back where I waited, eyes wide and a smile uncharacteristically having snuck its way across my lips. And I waited... and waited. I slowly grew more and more crestfallen, my brow furrowing into a sneer as I stood back against that same rail, waiting for the door to open. Of a sudden I jarred forward and was about to pound on the door again when it opened, the knuckles of my fist scraping painfully against the receding wood. I cursed beneath my breath, drawing the hand up and putting the abused knuckle to my mouth, looking at the door with a fury that implied it had just jumped out and attacked me.

After a few long moments of forgetting where I was and what I was doing, I suddenly remember and jumped back with a jolt. All the confidence that had emanated from me just minutes ago dissipated when I was actually face-to-face with him again. The stone-hard edges of his face intimidated me in ways that are hard to explain. And they still do, in their own way.

"I, ah... you did want...?" I had finished the sentence in my mind, but apparently not out loud because he did so for me.

"To see you again?" That same voice, hard and emotionless. The intense, if somewhat frightening passion I'd seen the other day when he rushed me was still gone. "Yes, I requested as much. Though honestly I expected it to take much longer for you to come here."

For whatever reason, that comment put me off a bit. But I couldn't put my finger on why, so I just did what I normally do and ignored the feeling, at least for now. But I found myself stumped nonetheless – why did I come back? I had no freakin idea what to say next. Now that I actually got here I felt completely without a lead or even a clue.

He retreated back into his house before I had time to piece together anything else to say. I stood dumbstruck by the entrance, mouth agape, staring into the dark interior like there was some hope I could see inside. I strained my eyes, but it wasn't any use. It's like light from outside was incapable of piercing it – the more I was around him the more stock I was beginning to put in these 'wizard' rumors. Then quick as he had gone he was back, violet cloak fastened at his collar and two chains worn about his neck that I hadn't noticed before. He did dress eccentrically, but I had to admit that it suited him somehow. The wizard stepped outside, the door shutting behind him without his putting a finger on it. He fixed the hem of his collar, eyes drifting to the side to look at me. "Where are we going?"

It's shocking how words so mechanically spoken could invoke such a response in me. I gushed out my words quickly, like I'd been holding back a dam that finally decided to break. "I dunno, I had no I idea I just figured you would have a place picked out or that you'd change your mind or something I mean I really didn't put any though into it at –" He held up his left index finger to shush me.

"Slow down. It's fine. We can just go walking."

And that just about wraps up our conversation for the next half hour. Without another word he motioned for me to lead the way, and we just... started walking. It was so strange, just having him walk beside me without any conversation. We were well out of town by the time either one of us spoke our next word.

"Do I scare you?" He stopped in his tracks, and I immediately stopped as well, as if I somehow knew he was going to do it. We were well down the road out of town, all you could see from either direction being the beaten dirt path and the occasional section of fence that lined it. I wasn't really surprised by the inquiry. But honestly, what could I say to it?

"A little intimidated maybe. You ain't exactly the warmest person alive." Finally I'd achieved ground where I was somewhat comfortable to speak.

"And you are?"

"Well. I never said I was, just that you weren't."

He nodded, and kept on walking. I followed. We kept on going until we got to Flute Fields. I asked if he'd like to come inside, but he declined, saying he'd rather not. I didn't know how to take that so I didn't say anything. The dusk started creeping up on us again, just as we scaled one of the hills and he took a seat on the crest of it, looking up at me until I did the same. Of a sudden, that exhilarating feeling I'd had this morning came back. 'What the hell is going on. I didn't go through all this to sit here awkwardly all night.'

"So what's the deal?"

He cocked an eyebrow at me, that tired parent look returning to his face. He didn't say anything but his expression spoke for him.

"You tell me you'd like to know me... or something like that. And you're not even talking. What the hell."

"You do know that it's not necessary to have in-depth discussions with someone to get to know them, right? I can tell just as much about you from the way you sidestep everything and wait for me to grab you by the arm and jerk you into something as if you'd just given me your life story."

"What are you-"

"Don't act like you don't know what I mean." All I could do was stare dumbfounded. "Why do you think I was so adamant that you pick what we do? I had a feeling you'd assume I'd make all the decisions. So I didn't and I waited for your reaction. It was what I'd expected."

There's no way to explain the anger that welled in me – and I don't even know why his words made me feel like that. Maybe because they were true, and I didn't want to know it. I don't know. But it pissed me off. My hand had snaked its way into my coat pocket and pulled out a smoke before you could blink. I lit it, took one long, aggravated drag and held in the smoke for what seemed like forever before blowing it out, somewhat calmed down. "Don't act like you know me already. I rule my life, not whoever happens to tickle my fancy." I looked away, not wanting the red splashed across my face to be seen. More nicotine before I was ready to spit out another sentence. "Just because I'm not making enough decisions, or whatever your beef is, doesn't mean I just let whoever jerk me around like a damned handbag. I'm just not... used to being in control."

Now how in the hell did he manage to leech that confession out of me? I'll probably never know. But immediately as it came out I was simply sick with embarrassment. I still refused to look at him when I felt those fingers on my neck and chin again as he gently tried to turn my head. But instinctively I jerked back, kicking up a clod of dirt in my violet scramble to get away from his hand. Realizing what I'd just done I blushed again. "Sorry. Just – god, don't do that okay? It freaks me out."

A flicker of knowing passed through his eyes and he nodded, looking the other direction for a brief moment before turning back to me and leaning in, brushing his lips against mine so briefly it could hardly be considered anything. He lay down then, arms crossed behind his head and leaving me sitting up and still confused as ever. His mannerisms were so foreign and unfamiliar to me, it sparked something that angered me in ways that were hard to imagine at that point. The sky was nearly black by now, the last rays of the sun quickly retreating, and the fire in me was driving me crazy. I wanted him. I wanted him because, on some level, I hated what he was doing. I didn't understand it, but it was there, and it drove me to roll over on him, arms holding myself up on either side of his head. I stared down into his eyes, blasé and unsurprised as ever. This somehow pissed me off even more.

"What's your deal?" My face was contorted, I could feel it, and I imagine to anyone other than him it would have been terrifying. I thought of how secretly – even secret to myself, on some level – I'd wanted someone to get me. But now that I was looking at someone who understood me without asking for my permission, without asking to be let in, it scared me. Scared the hell out of me. I could just see it in his eyes, everything I did he was just fitting together another piece in some puzzle.

"My deal? I told you what my deal was." That mechanical voice. No feeling, just factual information. "You interest me, Violet Eyes. I said I wanted to know you. And you came to me. You. Came. To me. Remember that." The last part, some warning snaked into his voice, emotional lubricant to the calculating machine he seemed otherwise. It was the crack in the ice that made me dive in.

I lowered myself down onto him and entered a zone I was familiar with, an area where I exercised at least some control. If he was to invade me, I'd show him what I could do.

Lips met this time with a violent clash, no more the light brushes that were his idea. My right hand became tangled in his hair, streams of silver stark against my skin in the twilight. It was so fucking soft, my god, I hadn't expected it. I made a fist, my other hand cupping the line of his jaw as legs wrapped tightly to the sides of his waist. I was into it. It wasn't until long moments later I realized he was laying completely still, my eyes opening to meet his which had never closed. He was completely still beneath me, the passion his voice had promised replaced once again by that stoic face.

"I told you that you didn't have to do that."

Dumbstruck again. Eyes wide, mouth slightly agape as I soaked it in. Then the anger returned. "What makes you think I'm doing this because I think it's what you want? What if it's what I want?" My words came out more snarl than I had intended, but I didn't really care. I was confused, and that maddened me. The wizard's hands twitched at my sides, even rising up to hold me at the waist... but he was restraining himself.

One green, one golden eye met my question. No words accompanied them, but I got the message.

"You think I'm a whore, don't you?"

"Nobody said that." There! The spark returned. I didn't particularly want the anger seeping into his voice, but it was better than the android. He took hold of my face. "I think you're a victim. I could tell just by looking at you out in front of the bar."

"..what?"

He literally shrugged. "Some people just have the complex beaten into them. Some people are born that way, but, you don't seem like that to me."

I was gently pushed to a sitting position and the wizard stood, brushing out his coat and offering me a hand. I took it. He pulled me close, our cheeks brushing, as he spoke into my ear, "My name's Gale, by the way. Stop by again, alright?" A new emotion had snuck it's way into his voice, one I hadn't heard in him before. I can't place it exactly. But it was warm. Soft. It made me think of all the times I'd been in similar proximity to a man interested in me and wanted to hear that exact tone.

I did.

AN; Sorry for how slow recent chapters have been, heh. I usually just end the chapter when I feel it's right, even if it's before I get to anything substantial. Flow's important to me like that^^