Come Back When You Can Chapter 3

"Come back when you can. Let go, you'll understand. You've done nothing at all to make me love you less. So come back when you can…"

Jane left the precinct as soon as she turned in her report to Cavanaugh. She had to do some grocery shopping and also clean her apartment.

The thought of Maura coming to her apartment again made her smile. Seeing Maura again and feeling her warmth made her think of all the good times that they have shared. Those thoughts kept her going the last five years. They have so much to talk about and she has so many things she wants to tell Maura.

But then again, she thought about the possibility that even though Mike is no longer in the picture, Maura may never want to have a romantic relationship with her. She may just want to be friends with her, which to Jane is perfectly fine. She will take whatever Maura is willing to give her. And then there's Maura's adorable daughter, AJ. She couldn't help but smile a little more as she thought about AJ. She can't believe that Maura has a daughter. Maura's life is different now and she promised herself not too expect much.

Jane inspects the table one more time just to make sure that everything is there. The door bell rang and she took a deep breath before taking a step to answer the door.

As soon as she opened the door, she was greeted by the adorable four year old with a hug.

"Aunt Jane, we brought you something."

"Hello to you, AJ. Hi Maura."

"Mommy, did you tell Aunt Jane to make my favorite? Spaghetti with lots of meat balls. You know her name sounds Italian so I assume she knows how to make it. Di you Aunt Jane?"

"I did, AJ. And I also have here your favorite drink. Pomegranate juice."

Jane looks over to Maura.

"She definitely is your daughter. What four year old drinks pomegranate juice and can even pronounce it?" Jane whispered.

"Oh, Jane, stop."

"You know Aunt Jane, I can hear you. Mom said I have bionic ears which is impossible. There's no such thing as bionic ear if you are a human being. Oh Mom, she has a tortoise too."

"Oh my God Jane, is this Albert?"

"It is. He's as big as Bass. How is Bass?"

"He is still alive. And he's here with us in Boston, of course."

"So, are you two ladies hungry? Maura, I made Mom's famous gnocchi and bread sticks. Sit down so we can start eating. Let me open that bottle of wine."

"How are your parents, by the way Jane? And Frankie?"

"Mom and Dad are fine. Tommy took over the business. Dad still helps out but Tommy is the main plumber now. He finally straightened out and is married now. Frankie, well, he's finally made detective."

"Wow. I bet you're very proud."

"We all are."

"So AJ, how do you liKe your spaghetti?"

"Oh, Aunt Jane it is the best spaghetti I have had. And I am not just saying that to make you happy. It really is. You see, I am just like Mom. I can't lie. I hyperventilate when I do. My heart rate goes up and I feel like fainting. I think it's genetic."

"AJ, are you really just four? I mean, all these words you are using, you know most four year olds can't even say them."

"Mom said that I'm not like most four year olds but she told me not to feel weird about it. And that I am special."

"You are, AJ."

"Aunt Jane, Mom told me that you play baseball?"

"I did when I was in school and I still do whenever we have the Boston PD Annual baseball game. Do you like baseball?"

"I do. I find it fascinating. The velocity and the speed of the ball when the pitcher pitches and the power and how fast the batter hits it once it makes contact."

Jane sat in awe of the four year old, even more. She looks at Maura and shook her head.

"hey, don't look at me Jane, that's all her. In fact, this little lady here is a sports buff. I think she got that from you."

"really, you are AJ?"

"I am, Aunt Jane. I was wondering, if Mom would not mind, you can take me to a Red Sox game. Then we can also go to a Celtics game and also the Patriots.'

"Oh my God Maura, she may look like you but I am starting to doubt she is your daughter. And AJ, I'd be happy to take you to a game."

AJ ran to Jane and gave her a kiss on cheek.

"Thanks, Aunt Jane. I finished my food, Mom. Can I go to the room and read?"

"Sure, sweetie. How about you take your back pack and bring it to Aunt Jane's bedroom?"

"Okay, Mom. I love you Mom. And I love you too, Aunt Jane."

Jane almost cried when she heard AJ say those three words to her.

"Oh, Jane. Are you okay?"

"Wow. AJ, she is such an amazing child."

"She's very sweet, as you can see. She knows all about you, Jane. Even if she only met you today, I told her all about you. She knows you are Mommy's best friend."

"Thank you for telling her about me."

"Aj is very observant. She noticed that I would get sad sometimes even before Mike died."

"I told her I missed her Aunt Jane. I would look at our pictures together and I will tell her the stories behind the pictures."

"I've missed you too, so much more than you could ever imagine, Maura. I'm so sorry about Mike."

"Mike made me happy Jane. He was such a great man."

"I know. That's why I had to let you go and accept defeat."

"How are you, Jane really?"

"I'm better now that you are here."

"Has there been anybody?"

"To be honest, no. I tried so hard to fall in love, Maura but nobody measured up to you Maura. I just couldn't. So I buried myself in work.'

"Oh, Jane that is not healthy. When I saw you earlier, my heart broke. You looked so tired and sad."

"It wasn't your fault Maura. You know when you left, my world literally stopped. I could not do anything. I could only cry and the pain was so much, I just wanted to sleep. But then I realized that what I was feeling at that time could not compare to what you must have felt when I rejected you not only once but three times. When I look back at those days, half of the pain I felt was because I caused you pain. I was so confused Maura. I thought that if I pushed you away, things would be easier. But I was wrong."

"Jane, I want to tell you why I left."

"Maura, you don't have to. You had every right to leave."

"I know I did but I want to tell you it wasn't because I didn't love you. In fact, it was because I loved you too much. But I was with Mike and carrying his child. I couldn't do that to him nor to you. If I had stayed here, feeling what I felt for you and knowing that you felt as strongly as I did, I knew I would never have been able to stay faithful with Mike. And he did not deserve that. I could not break his heart like that. I also would never want to ruin you Jane. If I stayed and we carried on an affair, it would ruin your reputation and I know how hard you worked to be where you are. And I also could never put AJ through any pain. I love her Jane. She is my life."

"I know. Thank you for telling me that it was because you loved me too much that's why you left."

"You know for a long time, I felt guilty that I could not love Mike the way I loved you. I think he's always known that it was you that held the key to my heart. But, he never said anything. Before he died, told me five things: 1) that he loved me and AJ. 2) To take care of AJ. 3) To come back to Boston 4) To be happy and to be where my heart always belonged 5) He thanked me for loving him and for making him the happiest man while he was alive."

"Maura, your happiness was all I ever wanted. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. You met Mike for a reason and that reason is AJ. Can you imagine your life without that beautiful little girl? I'd imagine you would not trade her for anything."

"No, I won't Jane."

"So, where do we go from here?"

"I don't know Jane. I have AJ to think about now."

"I know, Maura. And I think that we should start from the beginning. Let's be friends again. I really have missed my best friend. And I would never do an