Red vs. Blue vs. Soul
A Red vs. Blue/Soul Calibur Crossover fan-fic
Red vs. Blue belongs to Rooster Teeth; Halo belongs to Bungie and 343 Studios
Soul Calibur belongs to Namco/Project Soul
(Note - This story takes place after the finale of Revelation so for readers who don't know, this may contain spoilers)
Chapter I – What the Bleep?
(The setting – Valhalla Blue Base….Washington and Tucker are moving in some new supplies into base while Caboose supposedly spots the duo)
Caboose: A little to the left…No-no, make it a right… (Looks at his arms) No wait, which arm is my left again?
Tucker (annoyed; grunts): Damnit Caboose, we don't have time for this! This crate is heavy as hell you know…
Caboose (not listening; looking at his arms): This one is my left? No…Must be this one…No wait…
Tucker (yells): GODDAMNIT CABOOSE!
Washington: Does he always do this often…?
Tucker (sighs): Dude – you have yet to see hell…
Washington: Huh…
(Eventually the crate is set down… in the middle of the floor – due to Caboose's inability to decide thanks to the confusion of his lefts-and-rights)
Washington (slumps into a chair): Finally…That's over with it.
Tucker (does the same): Yeah…I think I was starting to lose feeling in my arms from holding that thing.
Caboose: We did good today…
Tucker: We? WE? Oh no – Wash and I did all the work, YOU just decided to be a pain by not knowing your freakin' left from your right for nearly a hour! A HOUR!
Caboose: Hey – it's a hard thing to remember…
Washington: Will you two just shut up? I just want to take a nap right now…
(Suddenly a loud strange sound – the equivalent of an explosion being sucked by a vacuum is heard from outside)
Tucker (jumps): What the hell?
Caboose: Wow!
Washington: (alert) (quickly grabs a shotgun and loads it)
Tucker: Wash…What was THAT!
Washington: Don't know…I'll go check it out…(rises from his seat)
Caboose: Maybe the Reds were setting off fireworks…
Tucker: You serious, Caboose? That didn't sound anything like fireworks…
Washington: (heads outside armed with both Tucker and Caboose following behind)
(Meanwhile outside near Red Base…)
Grif: Holy crap! Simmons, did you hear that?
Simmons: Yeah I did. Wonder if the Blues set off some fireworks…illegal ones by the sound of it
Sarge (approaches): Grif, Simmons! What in Sam's hill did you two do this time?
Grif: Are you blaming us for something we never did?
Sarge: Course not - I was about to blame YOU for that racket.
Grif (grumbles): You're such an ass...
Simmons: Look, can we not argue for one minute and maybe see where that...whatever it was came from?
Sarge and Grif (look at each other then look back at Simmons)
Grif (shrugs): Why not? Beats doing any chores around here...
Sarge (annoyed): I heard that!
Grif (rolls eyes under helmet): Whatever... You're not charge of me anymore you know...
(At that, the whole Red Team departs to the location of the sound...)
(Later…the members of Blue Team approach a strange indigo swirling vortex with a purple armored figure standing in front of it)
Washington (surprised; lowers shotgun): What the hell…
Tucker: Doc?
Caboose: Hi Doc.
Doc (looks at the guys); Oh! Hey guys…
Washington: Doc, what are you doing here? (Looks at vortex) and what is THAT?
Doc: Oh? You mean this thing? Don't know really…Just was taking my afternoon walk when I heard a loud sound and suddenly found himself staring in front of this gapping vortex…
(Soon Red Team approaches)
Sarge: What are you Blues up to this time? (Sees Doc) You again?
Simmons (comes up): Hey Doc.
Doc: Hey Simmons.
Grif: (looks at vortex): So…What do we got to deal with this time…?
Washington: Don't know actually…For all we know, this thing could be just about anything…
Sarge: Then that means we need a volunteer to see what it is…I volunteer Grif.
Grif: What? Hell no! If anyone is volunteering to go through that, it should be Caboose!
Caboose: Yeah! I'm a volunteer!
Washington: No…That's not how it's going to work. (Steps to the vortex) I'll go in.
Tucker: You serious?
Caboose: Good luck, Washington.
Doc: In case if that thing leads to a nice little gift shop, do you think you could get maybe a souvenir when you come back…alive?
Simmons: Make that a double for me.
Grif: Better him than me…
Sarge: Shut up Grif. (To Washington) You are one brave trooper, even though you did try to kill us before...and trashed our base in the process.
Washington: Uh…Thanks. I'll take that as a compliment… (Takes a step towards the vortex and slightly sticks an arm in before pulling it back) (Once it seemed fine, Washington processed to walk closer to the vortex)
(Suddenly a bright light flashes before Washington's eyes and soon he feels as though his body is moving in the air at jet-like speed. Within a few seeming minutes of this, the light fades away in Washington's vision to reveal a strange scene – a small European village in flames; its residents fleeing and screaming in terror.)
Washington (startled and confused): What…(Looks down at himself to suddenly see a medieval version of his armor in the colors of his original Freelancer armor along with a flowing gray cape from behind) What the…
(Before Washington could ponder anymore, suddenly a thunderous boom causes him to turn. A few feet away from the former Freelancer stands a massive being with shark-like teeth and a form seemingly made of molten lava upon a burning wooden cart. In one hand the newcomer holds a huge stony axe that glows from the fiery stone it was made from.)
? (Chuckles): Heh-heh-heh…Look like I got a new maggot to squash… (Grasps the giant axe in both hands and chuckles once more)
Washington: What…the…f**?