A/N: It's been a long time since I've updated. Honestly, by the time the first half of Season 2 ended I was sick of Glee and kind of sick of Brittany. They had managed to nearly ruin my favorite character, and I just wasn't feeling any inspiration. So, I took a break and focused on other stuff. That'll happen sometimes, but I plan on keeping this fic open to additions as long as Glee is still on the air. Now, since I've really enjoyed the first two episodes since the hiatus ended (and since Brittana is ON beyotches!), I decided to make an effort to update. Hope you enjoy!

Adventures in Time, Or: How Christopher Cross Discovered America

100,000,000 B.C., Ohio

Time Travel was…confusing. Brittany was sure that you needed a car for time travel. Or a Terminator, at the very least. But all she'd done is gone to a party, gotten drunk, and had a conversation with Finn and Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross.

Now she was petting a dinosaur!

Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross had explained how they had ended up millions of years in the past, but Brittany hadn't been listening because…dinosaurs! They were everywhere! And they were cute!

She'd just ask Finn later…or maybe not, considering the look of abject confusion adorning Finn's face. Oh well, it's not like it mattered. Brittany returned her attention to the animal in front of her, a giant reptile about the size of a cow. It was calmly grazing on some vegetation in front of it, not startled in the least by the humans.

"We seem to have come unstuck in time," said Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross. "This happens to me sometimes…excuse me while I do some calculations."

He wandered off to mull over a giant fern, and Finn ambled over to Brittany. "Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross is a lot smarter than I expected."

"Totally," Brittany agreed. "Wanna pet Quilty?"

"Awesome!" Exclaimed Finn, his easy smile lighting up his face. "I've always wanted to meet a dinosaur."

They grinned at each other for a moment. She liked Finn. He was probably the nicest boy in Lima, and she always felt that they were alike. But Quinn, and then Rachel, had taken up all his attention at school. It was kinda nice to spend some time alone with him.

"Me too," Brittany said enthusiastically.

Then the dinosaur disappeared. Or, that's how it seemed to Brittany. In actual fact, Brittany and Finn were the ones to disappear. The dinosaur didn't notice. Quilty just kept munching.

30,000 BC, France

They were in France, apparently. "We're traveling through space as well as time," was the explanation given to her. Brittany wasn't sure if she believed it, because nobody was speaking French and the Oeuvre was nowhere in sight. Not that she spoke French…but nobody was really speaking much of anything. They were just grunting and sleeping in caves.

"Thank God we left the Cretaceous," Finn said as he shuffled beside her. "If we had been there much longer the atmosphere would have poisoned us. And we probably would have been eaten or trampled by a dinosaur."

Brittany rolled her eyes and grinned at the boy, "You don't really expect me to think that you're not just repeating what Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross said, do you?'

Finn blushed and cast his eyes downward. "Sorry," he muttered.

Brittany giggled and said, "It's okay, Finn. You were trying to impress me! That's really cute, actually."

"Cool," he said, lifting his gaze again. They stood in silence for a moment, then Finn said, "Wanna go check out that cave?"

Brittany agreed, and they marched in the direction of the nearby cave. They explored for awhile, and found, to their astonishment, that the walls were decorated with drawings.

"Horsies!" Brittany squealed, the sound echoing through the cave system.

"Buffalo," said Finn.

"This is pretty cool," Brittany whispered. "…it's like a comic book almost. A story about their hunt or something."

"Badass," commented Finn.

They continued studying the paintings for awhile, then Finn took Brittany by the hand and they exited the cave. Almost immediately upon emerging into the bright sunlight, they disappeared again.

10,000 BC, The Fertile Crescent

About an hour after they arrived, Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross exclaimed, "I believe we're in the Fertile Crescent, around 10,000 BC!"

"Cool," said Finn, bored.

"This is the birthplace of agriculture!"

"Farms are boring," said Brittany. They were sitting on the ground, back-to-back. Both were bored stiff.

"Totally," added Finn. Their older companion rolled his eyes, and went off muttering about "taking exciting samples". Brittany and Finn were silent for a few moments, Brittany blowing the hair out of her face and Finn pulling grass out of the ground, before Finn asked, "Wanna play 'I've Never'?"

"But there's no alcohol…"

Finn shrugged and said, "We could just do it to pass the time."

Brittany shrugged in return. "Alright. You go first."

Finn thought for a moment and said, "Alright…I've never had sex."

Confused, Brittany turned to look at Finn and accused, "But you have! Santana told me all about it."

Finn blushed scarlet and spluttered, "She told you!"

Brittany rolled her eyes. "Duh. We tell each other everything. Would you like to know what your grade was?"

"No," Finn said glumly. "She already told me."

"Did she give you her list of Areas to Work On?"

"Yeah," Finn sighed.

"And your ranking?"

Finn stayed silent, but nodded. His bottom lip quivered. "Third isn't so bad," Brittany tried to reassure him.

"She's only had sex with three people!"

Not knowing what else to say, Brittany patted him on the shoulder. "There, there." Satisfied, Brittany turned back around and asked, "Anyways, why did you say you hadn't had sex?"

"You can propose an "I Never", even if you've done it. I wasn't gonna lie about it when it came to actually telling…"

"Oh. Well, I've had sex too."

"No kidding," Finn deadpanned.

Brittany frowned, wondering if she'd upset Finn. She shrugged, and said, "My turn! I've never…um…I can't think of anything I've never done."

"It doesn't have to be sexual, Brittany."

"Oh! Good, ok. I've never…seen a cactus."

"…ok. Neither have I."

"Haha, just kidding! I totally have! I lived in Arizona until I was seven, remember?"

"Oh yeah. I'd actually forgotten about that. Ha. I remember the first day you showed up at our school. You saved Santana from Rachel."

"Yup! And she hugged me fifteen times. And then she came over after school and we watched "The Little Mermaid", and we decided to become best friends forever."

"That's crazy," Finn said, leaning his head back onto Brittany's shoulder. "When I was seven my best friend was…Dave Karofsky. Isn't that insane? And Puck…Noah back then…was best friends with Jacob because they were both Jewish. It's pretty amazing that you and Santana have lasted this long."

Brittany leaned her head back onto Finn's shoulder and sighed, "We're gonna last forever. We promised."

They remained in silence for a moment. Finn was contemplating Brittany and Santana seriously for the first time. He thought back to their "date", and how into each other they were. They were always into each other, now that he thought about it. Nearly every second of the day they were touching each other or staring at each other, or something. And he'd heard plenty of rumors about more…

"I have one," he said. "I've never been in love."

"Aw," said Brittany sympathetically. "That's sad."

Finn raised his head and turned towards Brittany. "You have?"

"Sure," she said with a shrug.

"How do you know? I mean…I thought I was in love with Quinn, but then Rachel happened. And now I'm not even sure about Rachel."

"You just know," Brittany said simply. "You want to spend every waking moment with her, you want to know everything there is to know about her, you want to protect her with everything you have, you want to talk to her forever, you can't imagine life without her."

"Who are you talking about?" Asked Finn hesitantly.

Brittany giggled and rolled her eyes. "Santana. Duh."

It was then they disappeared.

2500 BC, Indus Valley

Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross exited the mud-brick hut, buckling his belt. "Indoor plumbing and pipes. Astounding! This Indus Civilization is incredibly advanced for their day. Their cities are laid out on a grid, like New York. And they have complex dentistry."

Finn and Brittany just stared at him in utter boredom. "Wow."

Then they went away as quickly as possible. As they walked away, Finn said, "I don't think Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross is actually trying to get us home. He's just being a tourist."

"Well," said Brittany, trying to remain positive, "we are getting closer to our time. Maybe we'll just naturally end up there."

Finn scowled. "And maybe we'll skip over our time and keep rocketing further and further into the future until the sun explodes."

"Finn!" Exclaimed Brittany, whacking the boy on the upper arm.

"Sorry," said Finn, exhaling a large sigh. "I miss my X-Box. I think I'm having withdrawals."

"I miss Santana," Brittany said sadly.

Finn wrapped his arm around Brittany's shoulders and squeezed her tightly. "We'll get home soon. We started out in the time of dinosaurs, and now we're at the dawn of human civilization. Pretty soon we'll be back in Lima, and you can watch "The Little Mermaid" with Santana again."

Brittany grinned at the prospect, and returned Finn's hug. "Thanks."

They walked down the exquisitely paved streets for awhile, marveling at the people and buildings. Most of the citizens ignored them, hoping they would simply go away. After a few minutes, the two teenagers came upon a group of men standing together in columns. They were perfectly still, their postures rigid as steel. Suddenly, the man at the head of the group called out, "Tiriang Mukhottanasana!"

In a stunning display, every man effortlessly bent backwards completely and until he could place his palms flat on the ground. Then each grasped his own ankles. Some were able to take it even further and grasp their knees. Finn's jaw dropped in shock, Brittany let out a gasp. "Wow," she uttered, breathless. "Soooo flexible. They're even more flexible than me! The possibilities…" She turned to Finn, "What are they doing?"

"Yoga?" Finn guessed. "That comes from India, right? You should totally check it out when we get back."

Brittany nodded enthusiastically. They watched the Yogis in awe for several more minutes before Finn turned to Brittany and asked seriously, "Brittany, does Santana know how you feel about her?"

They disappeared.

33 AD, Israel

All three of them were staring, wide-eyed.

"That's Jesus," Finn whispered in a slightly panicked voice.

"Do we run away?"

"I don't know. Is it bad that I want to?"

"I don't know. If you do, I will."

"His name is actually Yeshua," Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross informed them, having recovered from his initial shock.

Finn and Brittany rounded on the man and exclaimed, "How is that necessary right now?"

"Um," he said, "Because he's coming over here?"

The teenagers let out a squeak and spun around just in time to see Jesus…Yeshua…arrive. He was accompanied by another man who was carrying two big baskets full of food. He said something in his language, which none of the time-travelers could understand. But when he lifted his hand and waved, they waved back dumbly. He turned to speak to his companion, laughing uproariously as he knelt and rummaged in the baskets. Turning back to them he smiled jovially, and handed each some food. He clasped each on their shoulder and, grinning, went on to the next person in need of some food.

"That was pretty cool," Finn said after a minute of silence. He was munching on the bread Jesus gave him.

"He was kinda hot," Brittany agreed.

They disappeared.

1492 AD, Boat

"What is going on?" Cried Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross in dismay. "They're turning back! This isn't right at all. I think we've upset the space-time continuum!"

"That's bad, right?" Asked Brittany. "How do you know what's going on?"

"I speak flawless Italian. And Spanish. And Portuguese. Whatever I need to speak to make this scene work, I speak it."

"Ah. So…who's turning back and why is that a bad thing?"

"Columbus!" The older man cried. "They've decided to give up and go home before their supplies run out. Oh, it's a tragedy!"

Brittany caught Finn's gaze, and he shrugged. Brittany turned back to Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross and said, "Well, since you speak all those languages, you should convince them to continue with their adventure."

"Yes," said the older man, regaining his composure. "Yes. I need to inspire them."

And off he went. And inspire he did, because soon after he left them the two teenagers felt the ship turn. Finn and Brittany went to the side of the boat and gazed out on the ocean.

"I should tell Santana how I feel, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah," Finn said simply.

They disappeared.

1512 AD, Italy

Finn and Brittany stared up at the man painting the ceiling. He was high on a scaffold, flat on his back, completely focused on his work. He was putting the final touches on a fingernail.

It was beautiful. They'd heard all their lives about the Sistine Chapel, but seeing it in person was amazing.

Brittany leaned over and nudged Finn. "Think of those cave paintings in France…from that to this in only thirty thousand years or so."

They grinned at each other, silly happy, and then returned their gaze to the glorious sight above them.

They disappeared.

1863 AD, Pennsylvania

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal…"

They were moving faster now, barely landing in time before they moved on.

1940 AD, London

"We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender…"

And faster.

September 27th, 2010 AD, Ohio

And faster, until they were home.

When they realized that they were home, Finn fell to the ground and kissed it welcome. Brittany jumped up and down, squealing in excitement. Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross stood around awkwardly. After watching the displays of the teenagers for a few seconds, he cleared his throat and said, "Well, this was fun. I should be on my way."

He left. Finn and Brittany continued celebrating in their own ways for a few more minutes before calming down. They stood smiling at each other in joy. Brittany flipped open her phone, which was working for the first time in…

Brittany's nose scrunched up in confusion. Was it working for the first time in days, or for the first time in a hundred million years? Brittany sighed in frustration and put the question out of her mind. She looked at the date, and shrieked with laughter.

"It hasn't even been a day!"

Finn fell to the ground, laughing uncontrollably. Brittany joined him a moment later.

September 28th, 2010 AD, Ohio

Imagine their surprise when, the very next day, Easy Listening luminary Christopher Cross was brought up in Glee club.

"Alright! Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?"

"He discovered America," Brittany answered immediately, smiling. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Finn nodding enthusiastically.

"Close," answered Mr. Schue. He continued on, blathering some more about Easy Listening.

Brittany looked across the room and caught Finn's eye. They shared a smile. They knew the truth.

The End