AN: thanks for the feedback guys, I hope you enjoy this update! And a big thankyou to my beta Heather :)

After Willow's recounting of how she had met Xander. Their conversation had really opened up touching on more personal topics. As the two girls continued to chatting with one another, Willow noticed that Tara's stutter had become less prominent.

"I like to paint and d-draw, but I-I'm not talented or anything." Tara said.

"Are you sure you're not just being modest? I bet that you're a great artist! You're just bias, after all we're our own worst critic." Willow grinned at Tara.

"You haven't even seen any of my work yet, how do you know that?" Tara said with a smile.

With a confident smile confidently Willow replied "I can tell."

With a smirk Tara said, "For somebody that is obsessed with logic that's pretty illogical."

At Tara's last remark Willow's face filled with confusion as she stared into her cup struggling to find a justification for her own conjecture. 'God Rosenberg could you be any more obvious… yes I could lick her neck, now THAT would be obvious… Why on earth of all the things to pick from, did I pick licking her neck! Why not kissing or ogling her chest? Licking her neck, really? What is wrong with me today, I mean where did that even come from? God pull it together Rosenberg, oh man this is just getting worse, I have got to stop calling myself by my sir name in my own head.'Finally much to her relief Willow was drawn from her internal monologue by the most melodious laughter she had ever heard.

The room was filled with Tara's soft laughter at Willow's apparent inner turmoil as her expression drifted from confusion to shock. Any passerby in the café would have been to notice the gears turning in her head. Fortunately for Willow she was the only person privy to the thoughts wandering around her brain.

Willow abandoned her current predicament deciding that anything that leads to Tara's laughter needs no justification, and was certainly worth personal embarrassment and subsequent thoughts no matter how odd they may seem. She glanced at the clock, Willow's heart sank."Uh Tara… I better start heading home, I promised a friend that I would be somewhere at 5 o'clock..."

"Oh o-okay" Tara managed to hide her disappointment. "I, uh… w-will I see you tomorrow?"

Willow gave Tara an enthralling, and maybe even carnal grin. "You will if I have any say in it"

Willow promptly turned away from Tara and set out the door, lingering over the threshold for a moment. Willow could only resist the urge to look at Tara one last time, because she had an even greater desire to hide her beet red face from the blonde. Willow could feel the heat radiating off of her face. 'Oh man… oh god… has happened to me today? Why am I even embarrassed? I mean people say that kind of stuff all the time right— I think. The point is that I never act like that, nuh-uh nope. I'm never forward and back there I sounded confident and kinda… flirty maybe? Man, I woke up this morning with thoughts about boys, particularly an Oz shaped boy, and now I like girls? Gah! This is so confusing! Why is everything so different now, or maybe it's not different at all? Whatever is happening to me?'

The answer came to Willow immediately. Tara Maclay.

After Willow's abrupt departure Tara just sat at the table with her mouth ajar unable to comprehend what Willow had just done. 'What as that…why hasn't she talked to me that way before and when is she going do it again? Oh Goddess please let her do it again.' Momentarily she was overcome with hope; hope that Willow just might return her feelings. Tara tried in vain to douse the optimistic flame burning in her chest, but she could feel the embers still burning, resiliently. As Tara stared into the depths of her he reflected on her time with Willow. 'That was a close call when she asked about family.' She was relieved that Willow didn't seem to think of her behavior as peculiar. She realized that her short answer would not sate Willow's inquisitive nature for long. 'What happens then? Will she understand if I say that I don't want to talk about it, but then she might think I don't trust or that I don't care? Part of that is true though isn't it? I don't trust her to still be when she knows everything; I don't trust her enough to care. How could I ever think that about her though, HER! She is wonderful and amazing, I feel happier than I have in a long time because of her. So why do I feel this way?' The thoughts plaguing Tara were quickly becoming too much. She centered herself and let go of all her thoughts and opened up. She just let herself feel. In her repose, Tara found understanding. 'My doubt is not directed at Willow but myself. It's not that I don't think Willow will care, I don't think anyone will. Why should they?' Feeling all of her self-deprecating thoughts starting to cloud her mind, Tara pushed herself to concentrate on her predicament. Since she had left the house, Tara hadn't really talked to anyone about her family. She had no desire to even think about the two men that had made her life hell. Talking about it though could not be avoided for long, because even though Tara may not have thought about Donnie or her father during the day they haunted her in the night. She felt this great weight on her chest, pushing down on her making her smaller. She feared that the weight would continue to shrink her 'till she disappeared. Tara wanted to talk to Willow, to be honest but she wasn't ready to risk losing the person that was coming to mean so much to her. 'Goddess, so much has happened and I don't know what to do. I don't even know what to feel. Isn't there someone that can tell me what to do? It's not exactly like I've ever had the freedom of choice before… How can I be so weak? This is pathetic, for the first time in my life I have power over my own life and I want somebody else to take charge because I'm scared. How weak could I possibly be?'

"You're so weak." The words came out as a hushed whisper; Tara hadn't meant to verbalize the words. Hearing the words aloud was too much, but knowing that the words came out her mouth was worse. Tears began welling up in her eyes, Tara quickly left the table and rushed out the door. She inhaled deeply willing the fresh air to calm her. She started walking towards the apartment after deciding she needed the walk to compose herself.

Willow entered her house with reluctance, letting out a long and onerous sigh as she leaned back against the door. "I'm home!" As her words rang through the house, their reverberations penetrated her heart leaving an aching feeling in its wake. 'What is home anyway? This doesn't feel like home. There is no comfort for me in this cold, empty house. I really do love my parents, I do but they just aren't here anymore, not for me. Will I ever find a home? Can't somebody just be there? Buffy is gone, Xander is busy making out with Cordelia all the time; Giles is busy looking for Buffy. .I don't have Oz anymore, but he seemed indifferent all the time anyways. All gone, my family is falling apart because I couldn't do that damn curse…' Willow felt one solitary tear fall down her cheek – just one and no more. She had to be strong, filled with resolve, she couldn't cry; it would all be okay in the end. Every night before Willow went to bed she told herself over, and over again even if she didn't believe it; because she needed to pretend that she did.

In another part of town Tara was sliding the cold metal key into the lock until she heard the satisfying click, and turned the key. 'Well it works, that's a good sign. He didn't change his mind about letting me stay.' Tara thought wistfully. She took a deep calming breath, and opened the door entering her new environment. Tara felt immensely relieved to find herself alone. She hadn't expected anyone to be there, respite of solitude was just a habitual feeling. After coming home to those two wretched men for so long serenity in solitude had become ingrained in her mind. Ever since her mother's passing last year Tara only felt safe when she alone. 'Home sweet home' Tara mused bitterly. The situation she now found herself in was infinitely better than living with her father and brother. She was grateful to her mother and host for saving her from that terrible house, but Tara couldn't shake the emptiness that threatened to prevail over her in this unfamiliar apartment.

'Being here isn't all bad, being here means being with Willow.'

Tara felt her lips begin to curve into a smile at the thought of the quirky girl she had befriended. Tara felt the embers in her chest glow brighter, burning hotter. The warmth rising inside her scorched her soul leaving a scar. Tara knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

'Willow Rosenberg, my first friend.'

With a renewed outlook on the future Tara hefted her book bag higher on her shoulder as she strode into her room. She dropped her school bag by one of the opened boxes in her room. The boxes were some of the few things that we in her room because she didn't have very many possessions to begin with, let alone move from Alabama to California. She sat down on the bed and glanced around the bare room, finding a sadness permeating from the bland walls around her calling to her like a blank canvas. The artist in Tara could not deny the room's call, so she began unpacking.

The walk to Giles' didn't take Willow too long; she arrived on his street at about ten till. 'Good I should arrive with about five minutes to spare! I wonder who this woman is. Xander was kidding when he said she was Giles' lover right? 'Cause EWW! I really don't want to know that about Giles. It would be good to see him move on though; I can't imagine what he has been going through. I hope that he's found someone special; I just would rather not know the details.' Willow made her way through the courtyard to Giles' apartment. She stopped in front of the door to steel herself and take a deep breath. She knocked. The door swung open, Willow could not believe her eyes.

TBC