Disclaimer: obviously don't own Teen Titans or Naruto.

Legend: "Yo" Elemental/Japanese

"Yo" English

"Yo" Summon/Tailed Beast/Inner Being

'Hmm' Thoughts

Hell in a Hand Basket

Chapter 1: When the world went to hell.

'Channel chakra to the legs to boost reaction and muscle mass, channel slightly more to the soles of the feet to aid traction while landing. Release chakra from the feet when landing so you don't trip up and leap towards the next branch or tree, repeat.'

These were the thoughts of the freshly minted Chunin, Naruto Uzamaki; currently en route to Rice country for a pick up for his first solo mission. Something the blonde teenager was not quite happy about. Most Chunins solo missions consisted of document retrieval or even the breaking up of bandit camps. His? He was being sent to Rice country to pick up a shipment of spirits. Not exactly how Naruto planned to start his illustrious solo career as a Chunin. Not that he was truly complaining; he was content with any mission that would take him out of village for a period of time.

'Channel chakra, leap, become blinded by flash of light… wait flash of light? Oh fuck, that can't be good.'

Naruto slipped in surprise as his pupils shrunk in adjustment to the sudden increase of light. Thankfully he wasn't too far above the ground, so the injuries weren't too serious. A minor bruise, a couple scrapes, nothing too bad. He'd be sore but he'd heal. The question on his mind was the cause of that burst of light, this part of the country was uninhabited aside from the odd hunter or fisherman. He'll even the Anbu didn't patrol this way too often, the terrain was pretty flat and trees were a bit spread out from each other. An invasion force or even a small scouting party would've been nuts to even think of coming through here, there was no true cover to hide their numbers. That only left the possibility of a missing ninja or a trap set by said missing ninja.

Instantly he was alert, drawing a pair of kunai and taking up a stance reminiscent of the one Asuma-sensei when he used his trench knives. He glanced around his surrounding, cursing his stupidity for not paying attention to the sensory techniques during his tenure in the academy, leaving him with the basics. Meaning, he stood stock still, straining his ears in an attempt to listen for something out of place. But all that he heard was the sound of the breeze as it ruffled the leaves of the surrounding tree and some small animal burrowing in the grass, most likely a squirrel or a mouse.

Letting several moments pass, Naruto eased his stance. If he was under attack, he was sure his opponent would have done something to him by now. That light was probably an old flash tag left by a passing Anbu patrol. He was about to replace his kunai when the oddest thing happened to him. A young woman fell into his arms. So it wasn't too surprising that he dropped one of his kunai as his body tried to adjust to the weight of the girl. It was even less surprising when said kunai found itself stuck in his foot, exactly between the material that kept it bound to his foot.

So blinking tears from his eyes, glancing between the girl in his arms and the kunai that was mocking him as it impaled his foot, he did what felt right in this situation. Adjusting the girl in his arm, he reached down and removed the kunai, hissing as he did, before straightening back up. He was honestly surprised he didn't cry out during any of this situation, but as he watched the wound seal itself he forgot to keep aware of his surroundings, or he wouldn't miss the odd whistling sound that seemed to increase as if getting closer or the odd sound of fabric fluttering as it passed through the air. Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have been surprised when his world faded to black.

"I want my Naru-chan!" A blonde woman wailed as she sat at her desk, glaring holes at the black haired woman who stood across from her. "Shizune, why did you send my sweet Naru-chan away?"

"He came to me requesting a mission that would take him out of the village, so I gave him one. Even though it was a D-rank; I even marked it up to a C-rank so he would get a little bit more pocket money."

"But my Naru-chan doesn't get missions from that pile; he gets his from this pile." The blonde spouted off as she reached into her desk, retrieving a scroll that was bound with an orange ribbon. "These were specially selected for someone of his caliber."

Shizune just heaved a sigh before ripping the scroll from her master, slipping the ribbon off with one hand as she unfurled it with the other. Eyes moved quickly taking in information before she rewound it, pausing only massage her face as tension built in her temples, a sign of the impending migraine.

"This is a mission detailing in and I quote 'Six days of pleasure, followed by seven nights of unbridled passion."

"I thought we would start off slow." Tsunade replied in a serious tone.

"This…" Shizune grabbed another from the forsaken drawer. "This is a mission about a night on the town before finishing the night off giving each other oral sex!"

"This is in his best interest, man of his stature and talents should broaden his horizons when it comes to sex."

"These aren't real missions you crazy woman, these are spoof gifts ninjas give to each other when they're attempting to rekindle the spark in their relationships."

"But I gave them the appropriate rank and even the Hokage seal."

"Getting someone to go down on you is not a B-rank; a weeklong sexual excursion cannot possibly be an S-rank."

"Shizune, you know that's not true, I can sure make it feel like one."

Shizune's mental processes tried to comprehend the crap her long time mentor was spouting, but gave up the ghost when Tsunade started to go into positions and techniques. Every day was like this and every day she felt a piece of her immortal soul slip away into the ether. It's been like this ever since poor Naruto returned from his training trip with Master Jiraiya. She was beginning to wish her migraine would evolve into a full blown stroke. The loss of speech and motor functions would've been welcome if they managed to get her away from this madness for a bit of time.

"…the trick is to use circular motions…"

"Tsunade-sama…" Shizune's brow began to tick…

"… and the ability to flutter one's tongue is most important…"

"Tsunade-sama please…" Cue full blown facial twitch.

"… one should work on bringing the other to the cusp of climax before slowing down to prolong the…"

"Tsunade!"

"Shizune you don't look so good, almost like you're about one step short of a stroke…"

"It's time to make your rounds at the hospital, the head nurse wishes for an update on Master Jiraiya's condition."

Tsunade disposition instantly soured at the mere mention of the man.

Tsunade just crossed her arms before going into a pout. "I'm not going."

"But you have to; you have a duty to all the patients in the hospital, especially Jiraiya."

The pout was still in place. "Why should I help him of all people?"

Shizune was really wondering if an aneurism was really too much to ask for at this point.

"Because... I don't know… maybe the fact that you were the one to put him into the hospital has something to do with it?"

"He took my Naru-chan away for three years. Three years Shizune! Do you know what it's like to sit at home wondering how their beloved is doing? It's too much for a young maiden's heart."

"You're old enough to be his grandmother." Deadpanned Shizune.

"I'm still young at heart Shizune."

Shizune sighed as she tried to break reason to her insane boss.

"It was for training Tsunade-sama. So he would learn to better protect himself from his enemies. It was well within Master Jiraiya's rights to take his apprentice out of the village for a training sabbatical."

"Not when he takes my Naru-chan away!"

"You beat him within an inch of his life when they returned; the hospital staff had to put him into a medically induced coma so his mind wouldn't break from the pain!"

"I still stand by my point."

Shizune really wanted to reach over that desk and wring the life from her master's neck but she buried that line of thinking down, where several months down the line it would develop into an ulcer, and tried to compromise.

"Tsunade-same, Naruto will return within two days. Now if you do your rounds, maybe… just maybe I'll let you go to dinner with him. Only if you're a good girl though."

Shizune could honestly say she wasn't surprised to find herself staring at an empty seat or the displacement of air as her mentor rushed towards the doorway, pausing only to ask a question.

"And the oral sex?"

"We'll discuss the terms as we walk Tsunade-sama…" Shizune ground out.

Following her crazed mentor as she pathed through the hall that led to reception, past the two Anbu that stood as security; stopping to glare at the one in the walrus mask.

"You are not, do you hear me? Not to repeat a breath of what you just heard to anyone. You got that?"

Receiving a nod, Shizune heaved a sigh as she jogged to catch up with her crazed boss.

Once Shizune had wandered well out of earshot, Walrus spoke…

"You know back in my day, missions consisted of espionage and assassination."

The hall fell into silence for several moments before a snort was heard, followed by another, before full blown laughter echoed through the halls.

Naruto couldn't believe it. How the hell did a simple mission turn into something like this. Sure, he and his team had an odd bit of luck when it came to C-rank missions, but those consisted of missing ninja or evil corporations. Not goddamn women falling out of the sky. That just didn't make a lick of sense. But here he was, sitting in the middle of an empty forest, with two unconscious girls to the left and the right of him. Both wearing odd clothing, both having odd skin tones; the larger of the two being orange while the smaller had an odd grayish color to her skin. He didn't even want to know why her hair was oddest shade of purple while her larger companion had a more normal color of black.

Now he was stuck in a conundrum. He was in the middle of a mission, glorified beer run that it may be, but still a mission. With two unconscious girls with no discernable injuries, since he checked as far as he could ethically. And to top things off there wasn't a town within forty miles of his position. He needed to make a decision, he needed help, someone that could be the voice of reason. He made a simple hand seal, bringing a companion of the identical variety into being. Looking back on this day, he would question why the hell he decided to ask an opinion of one of his clones.

"Sup boss? Whoa, who's the cutie?" His double asked as glanced down at the violet headed teen.

"Don't know; seem to have fallen out of the sky."

"Didn't we wish for a situation like this to happen years ago?"

"You do have a point." Naruto nodded to his double. "Maybe karma works in time or something."

"So… should we wish for something else? I don't know maybe for the sky to rain ramen since it apparently is willing to make it rain girls."

"We'll worry about it later after we figure out what we do with these two."

"Signal Anbu?" The cloned asked.

"Can't; no patrol due out this way for a while since we're in a time of peace."

"What about finding a village and get some help."

"Closest village is twenty miles west."

"Well shit, maybe we should take them back home before going back and complete the mission. Maybe track down Sakura."

"One problem, where there's Sakura, there will be Sasuke."

"We can't win can we? What about Shizune-chan?"

"Possibility of being left alone with Tsunade, not a situation we would like."

"So what the hell do we do? We can't just as well leave them here." The clone said as he gestured to the unconscious girls.

"We are going to have to face hell my friend, face it with a smile on our face as we go against oblivion."

"I'm going to assume we're going to track down Shizune, and by meaning oblivion you mean Tsunade, right?"

"You better believe it." Naruto said as he picked up the black haired girl, shifting her body so she would be comfortable.

"I was worried you would say that, though…" The clone looked down into the face of the girl he was carrying, smiling when she turned her face to nuzzle into his chest, sighing as she did. "…I guess some sacrifices can be made."

Another world entirely…

"What do you mean you have no idea where you sent them? How could this happen?" A black haired youth screamed at a cloaked figure. "You know we don't kill criminals or send them to unknown dimensions. We are supposed to be the good guys. Does sending someone to another dimension sound like something the good guys do, Raven?"

The cloaked teen now known as Raven just continued to stand there in silence, listening as her team leader continued to berate her for her mistake.

Another youth stepped up to the raging teen, laying a hand on the boys shoulder. "Robin man, you need to ease up. Everyone makes mistakes at some point in their lives."

"Most people mistakes don't result in an action that could possibly result in the deaths, she doesn't even have an idea where she sent them. Could be deep space or a planet with no atmosphere for all we know."

Raven turned away, brushing away the hand of the other female in room, before making her way to her bedroom.

"Dude, not cool man." Beastboy commented as he watched his teammate walk away.

Neither of them expected the other female of their team to walk up to Robin before nearly knocking him into the wall with a slap before gliding after Raven.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Robin asked as he rubbed his cheek.

"Do you even listen to yourself when you speak?" Beastboy grunted before leaving the room.

"Friend Raven, are you okay?"

Raven nodded slightly as she withdrew a book from its brethren, leafing through its pages before she replaced it, withdrawing another before turning to her visitor.

"I'm fine Star."

"But Robin was acting like a donkey as they say here?"

'Donkey?' Raven questioned in her mind before she figured out what the alien was trying to say. "Yes he was being an ass." 'Even if he had a point.'

"Indeed he was being a great ass of the hole."

"You mean asshole, Starfire."

"That was the word I was looking for, thank you friend Raven. Do you mind if I ask you a question Raven."

"Hmm?"

"What are you going through your books for?"

"Trying to find something that would assist me in locating our wayward enemies."

"Is there anything I could do to help, friend Raven?"

"You can help me go through these books; maybe we can find something about accidental transportations or tracking others."

Soon both girls sat in silence as they skimmed through various passages…

Back in the Elemental nations…

Silence echoed through the empty office, even the breeze that came through the opened window didn't make a sound as it caressed the empty desk. But soon silence was replaced with a shuffle of a fabric as a tuft of blonde followed by a head. Eyes shifted left and two the right, as they checked to make sure the coast was clear.

"Looks like the office is empty, Tsunade must be at the hospital making her rounds."

Another head popped up, identical to the first one, as it heaved a sigh of relief.

"Shizune must be with her." Naruto commented as he stepped over the sill and into the room.

"So what are we going to do with the girls? Leave them here and go get Shizune."

Naruto just bent down as he relieved his clone of its burden before walking over to the couch that sat against the wall and placed the two unconscious girls down.

"No, I'm going to stay here and keep an eye on the girls, while you…" He gestured to the clone. "…are going to find Shizune-chan and tell her to meet me here. Sneak her away if you have to."

The clone paled as it listened to its creator's demands. "You can't send me boss, you know what Tsunade will do to me if she finds, what she'll do to you once she realized once she realizes that I'm just a simple clone. Think of the consequences…" A smack to the head silenced the clone's ramblings momentarily.

"Jesus man, you're basically me. What would I do in this situation?"

"Run away while throwing Ero-sennin in Tsunade's path to give yourself a lead?"

Another smack was his answer as Naruto palmed his face. "While that is true, you need to look at it this way. This is basically a sneaking mission correct?"

The clone nodded.

"And we're ninja right?" Cue another nod from the double. "So change your appearance with transformation. Make it something that wouldn't be obvious that you're me."

"So sexy form is out…" He ignored the glare his creator gave him as he made a hand seal before being enshrouded in smoke.

Naruto couldn't help but arch an eyebrow as he saw the form his clone. Blonde hair gave way to a sullen black. Tanned skin became deeply pales, near translucent. The usually cheerfully face became blank, and he couldn't describe the outfit except for one thing, no man should willingly wear a shirt that exposed his stomach.

"The hell is that?"

"Well boss…" The clone commented as it took in its appearance. "…we've been called many things in our time, but never emo."

"And the outfit?" Naruto gestured to his clones get up.

"Felt right."

Naruto couldn't help but shake his head as his clone continued to turn to and fro, taking in more of its appearance. Honestly the amount of stupidity his clones, and by extension himself, even if the clone had a point.

"Whatever, just go get Shizune-chan. Tell her it's an emergency. Give her a small briefing, but make it a point that she needs to come here as soon as possible."

With a thumbs up and a salute, the clone leapt to the window sill before jumping down to the closest rooftop, bounding from roof to roof as it made its way to hospital.

Naruto watched it for a few moments before feeling the call of nature. Walking towards the Hokage's private water closet, he glanced over the occupants of the couch, finding both to be snoring peacefully. Taking that as a good sign, he opened the door to the small room and closed it behind him as the scent of jasmine hit his nose. A sign that the old man was really gone, replaced by a insane, yet still feminine woman. Even the book that sat on the corner of the sink was different. What used to be a volume of Icha Icha gave way to a how-to book, titled 'The Way of the Cougar: How to Bag Yourself a Sexy Boy Toy', making the blonde teen shudder as his eyes passed over its cover. Ignoring the book, as the pressure in his abdomen made itself known yet again, he walked to toilet and hummed as he tended his business. Oblivious to the movement that was happening just outside the room.

As soon as the click of a lock echoed through the room, pink eyes snapped open and began to scan the surroundings. Soon a small form sat up, easing its companion to the side. Jill Manx, aka Jinx, found herself in an odd situation. Something that wasn't quite out of the ordinary for the small girl to admit. Happened quite a lot in her choice of a career if she was honest with herself. Looking around she found that she wasn't alone in her predicament, Blackfire laid next to her on the small couch. Apparently the Tamaranean wasn't fast enough to escape from the Goth bitch's attack unscathed, but seeing the alien girl was snoring peacefully, she assumed she was unharmed as herself was. Stepping up, careful to not upset the snoozing girl, she took in her surroundings. They appeared to be in an office of some sort. Shelves lined the walls, carrying books written in an language she couldn't decipher, but seemed oddly familiar. One wall held an assortment of pictures, the first four depicting men wearing similar clothing while the fifth was of a blonde woman, a woman with the largest bust Jinx had ever seen, she too wore the clothes the others did albeit more casually.

Stepping away from the couch, Jinx stood in front of the shelves, glancing at the bindings of the books in front of her, finally recognizing the foreign characters for what they were, everything was written in Japanese. Resisting the urge to pull a book and view its contents. Preferring instead to shuffle over to the desk that sat off center, she dragged the tips of her fingers across the worn surface. Scroll and various bits littered the desk, a small pile being weighed down by a clay bottle. A scroll caught her eye, bound with an orange ribbon, before the sounds of a toilet flushing came from the room next door. Panicking, the girl did the only thing she could think of, jammed the scroll down her shirt and leapt on top of the bookshelf that sat next to the door. She was stuck in a strange place, no idea how she got here aside a pair of voices she heard, and by damn she was going to get some answers…

Naruto heaved a sigh of relief as he dried his hands. Still humming a tune, he tossed the paper towel in the trash receptacle near the door, before stepping out into the quiet office.

'Hopefully that clone found Shizune-chan.' Naruto thought to himself, oblivious to the shadow that was looming over him at the moment.

Only when something in the back of his mind told him to turn around, did he realize that the couch was missing one occupant.

'The small one… That would explain the looming sensation.' Turning to the shadow, he swallowed the bit of fear that grew in the back of his throat and tried to sound as friendly as possible.

"You think we can talk about this?"

The only answer he received was the world going white and breath was hard to come by.

Jinx positioned herself like a cat as she waited for her captor to exit the bathroom. She didn't even have to wait long, before a mop of blonde hair walked in front the shelf, prime position for an attack from above. An attack that she executed with deadly precision, except for the fact that the target was beginning to turn towards her as she leapt…

Naruto found himself in the oddest position to date, the small girl, a girl he assumed to be a non threat, wasn't. He sure as hell didn't expect her to attempt a neck breaker on him, or smother him to death with her crotch while she tried to rip two fistfuls of hair from his head all the while. It was moments like this that made him think of his almost late master…

Several months prior…

Two figures sat around a campfire, stars twinkling across the canopy of the night sky. Both figures made small talk, while the smaller poked at the coals, causing embers to rise into the sky, while the larger jotted down notes in a small book pausing to look to his young companion.

"Naruto?"

The youth paused his prodding to look at his master. "Hmm?"

"Did they ever explain what the neck snapper hold is in the academy?"

"Iruka sensei said it was a technique usually employed by female ninja during a grapple. Supposed to use their body as leverage to snap the brain stem; though it can also be used to cause unconsciousness if the target has strong enough muscles in the neck, or the user doesn't have the strength to wrench their body properly. Why Ero-Sennin?"

"He ever explain how to free yourself if caught in this move?"

"I remember him saying something about leaning back to rob people of their leverage, even biting if the situation was dire."

"What about a reverse neck breaker? He ever explain how to get out of those."

"Aren't the two moves similar? I mean what difference does the girl on the front or back make."

Jiraiya couldn't help but grin at his youthful protégé's naivety. This was the perfect example of why he loved to spread his knowledge to the younger generation.

"The reverse is a bit more intimate, Naruto."

"How could someone trying to snap my neck be seen as intimate? Wrapping her legs around my neck, jamming my face in her… oh…"

"Oh… indeed my boy…"

Both males paused and drew in deep breaths as they imagined Naruto's revelation.

"But I have a piece of knowledge that will let you get away from that dreaded move."

Naruto's ears instantly perked at the mention of a technique. Technique meant training, something the boy felt he wasn't given enough of since the training trip was just an excuse Jiraiya made to get the boy away from the village and some experience out in the world. He nodded for the older man to continue.

"If you find yourself being smothered…

"Yes…"

"The trick is…"

"Damn it old man, just tell me already!"

"Blow a raspberry…"

"You can't be serious. How the hell is blowing a raspberry going to help me?"

"Just give it a thought; the answer will come to you."

Naruto did as he was told, thinking about what his teacher just mentioned, before flushing deeply, causing Jiraiya to roar with laughter.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"But the look on your face…" Jiraiya spoke as he attempted to regain his breath. "…I'm sorry Naruto but I had to laugh, you should've seen your face."

"What the hell did you expect? Giving me such dirty advice."

Back to the present…

Naruto tried to say something, but his voice was lost due to the cloth muffling. His attacker still kept her hold on his hair, barking questions in some strange language, demonic tongues from the sound of her tone.

"Who are you? Where are we? You didn't touch me in a perverted way did you, you bastard?"

Each question was brought its point with a violent tug on his hair, nearly ripping it from the roots. Every time he tried to answer, his voice would be muffled by cloth, making him experience the taste of cotton.

"Answer me or so help me god, I'm going to snap your neck!"

Now that sounded like a threat, language barrier be damned. Fearing for his beloved locks and the cramp in his neck from being supporting the irate girl was really starting to bother him, Naruto resorted to desperate measure. Licking his lips and inadvertently the cloth that covered his mouth, he blew a raspberry. The effects were instantaneous…

"Eeeep! What the hell do you think you're doing you pervert?" The girl screamed as the she wrenched his head back so blue eyes could meet pink.

Then he felt the most horrendous sensation followed by the most ominous sense of foreboding; Tsunade had found out that he was back in the village. Survival instinct took hold; he twirled the girl around so she was hanging from the back of his neck as the tower rumbled. Support beams shuddered as doors on the lower level were torn from their frames as others smashed into the wall. The empty sake jug danced as vibrations rose from the lower levels of the towers. Not a moment later, the door slammed open. Scaring the life out two people while waking the third.

"Naru-chan!

The atmosphere at the hospital was rolling like pot of boiling water. Doctors, nurses, even orderlies were scrambling to get everything out of control. No one had a clue at just what happened. One moment everything was calm, the next a localized typhoon tore through the place. Tossing paperwork, carts of medicine, and the odd elderly man. The latter weeping in pain as his catheter was tore from him. But that wasn't the worse of it. In a room, isolated from the rest, laid a man. Completely cut off from the world with the aid of chemicals.

This man was supposed to have a routine checkup. See how far his injuries had healed since his admittance to the hospital. All was going hunky dory, well it was for a moment before his caretaker realized who her apprentice was talking to in the hall. Even through the chemically induced haze Jiraiya felt his leg snap in three places before his bed and himself was tossed outside… through the closed window and the wall surrounding said window. It would be an hour before someone realized he was missing…

Naruto had stared down death many times since the beginning of his shinobi career. Missing ninjas from Hidden Mist, crazed demon container with sleep deprivation issues, even a Sannin with pedophiliac tendencies. None of them made him quiver like the one that stood before with its amorous smile and crazed eyes.

"Naru-chan you came back for me. I knew you couldn't keep away from your darling Tsunade-chan."

Fear had a new name for one Uzumaki. Even the girl hanging off him had ceased in trying to tear his hair out to watch what the blonde woman was doing. Soon the Hokage stepped forward in attempt to embrace the object of her affection. But every step forward she took, Naruto took one back. He knew what happened to his clone, the sensation of its heading popping before it dispelled would haunt him for weeks to come. Thankfully his savior was running upstairs at this very moment. He just need to hold off Tsunade for a few more moments.

"Naru-chan, why are you backing away from me?"

'Because you want to dry hump me to death maybe?' Naruto thought as he backed up further, only for his legs to bump against the couch. The fact he had nowhere to run wasn't lost on him or the blonde as her grin turned predatory.

"I wanted our first time to be in a bed with rose petals, but if you feel like the couch, who am I to argue."

Naruto swallowed shallowly as the blonde grew closer. But the gods took pity on the youth and sent him a savior.

"Tsunade-sama! Do you know what you did?" Shizune bellowed from the doorway.

'Shizune, I could kiss you.' Thought Naruto as his ebony haired savior made her presence known.

"Come to deflower my Naru-chan?"

"No you goddamn lunatic? You threw Jiraiya out of a window, a fourth floor window I might add."

"But Naru-chan…"

"Naruto-chan nothing you damn lunatic! The hospital is a mess; the staff are in an uproar!"

"Could everyone quit with the shouting, it's killing my head."

One could hear a pin drop in the office as six heads turned to focus on the girl. Even the Anbu left their posts to look into the room.

"Did I say something wrong?" The girl asked as she took in the various faces staring at her.

Several things happened at once. Shizune realized this girl and the one clinging to Naruto's head were the ones the clone mentioned before it literally popped. Tsunade realized that Naruto had snuck two girls into her office, and one seemed to quite content in grinding her crotch into Naru-chan's neck, something that cause several synapses in her brain to fry. The Anbu and Naruto realized that they were about to be at ground zero, Walrus let a tear slip when he felt Tsunade begin to gather chakra in her fists.

Ripping the leg from his mouth, Naruto attempted to run damage control as Tsunade began to stomp forward.

"Tsunade, this isn't what it looks like!"

Chakra began to roll off the women in visible waves.

"Tsunade-chan?"

The floorboards began to warp and split under the chakra assault.

"Naru-chan, who are these hussies and why is the one rubbing herself against you?"

All Naruto could do was sweat bullets as he stared at the straining fists that were no more than a yard from him.

"No answer hmm? I guess I'll just have to show them the way out, yes?"

Naruto was honestly surprised that his bowels and bladder held up at this point. He brought these girls here to seek help, not to be snuffed out by a woman scorned.

Tsunade cocked her right arm back, her target? The petrified girl that was straddling her lover's shoulders. "Hold still dear, this will only hurt for a moment."

Naruto shut his eyes as he waited imminent destruction at the hands of an irate female. When imminent destruction didn't come he cracked an eye open, only to find a crazed Tsunade being held down by Shizune and her Anbu entourage.

"Naruto! You need to take those girls and get out of here. We can't hold Tsunade for much longer…"

"But Shizune…" Naruto cried out as he watched one of the important women in his life was about to get herself killed right before his eyes.

"Forget about me Naruto. Get those girls out of here NOW! I'll send someone to your apartment later to check on them. Just get them out here!"

Naruto nodded as blinked the tears from his eyes. He wasn't about to let Shizune's sacrifice be in vain. The girl attached to his head seemed to be petrified of the killing intent that Tsunade was directing towards her, while the couch bound one sat silent, not even putting up any resistance to when he scooped her up and ran towards the window. Pausing to take one more look at Shizune's noble sacrifice before he leapt out the window. The noise of the wind being drowned out by the squealing of the girl attached to his scalp, making the concentration required to perform a body flicker nearly impossible. With the ground getting closer by the millisecond, Naruto finally managed the technique, disappearing in a cloud of smoke just fifteen feet above a stunned pedestrian.

"Friend Raven, what does this incantation do?"

Raven looked up from her reading to glance at the passage Starfire was pointing out.

"It's to make the perfect bowl of popcorn."

"Not useful for our endeavor then?"

"Just movie nights, keep looking."

Naruto was beyond glad when the interior of his apartment came into focus. He hated using the body flicker technique without seals, drained too much of his chakra and had a habit of not quite placing him where he wanted to be. Finding oneself a hundred feet above the ground was never a pleasant experience. But it seemed to have worked fine this time thankfully.

Next came the checking of his passengers. The girl hanging off his back seemed to have gone catatonic; the only movement he could feel was her slow breathing. The girl he was carrying seemed fine if not slightly queasy. 'Must've been her first time.' Naruto thought as he placed her down on his ratty but comfortable couch. Then began the task of peeling miss catatonia from him. Once that was settled he walked to his kitchenette and drew a glass of water for the dark haired girl, who accepted it gratefully, not that he could understand a word she was speaking.

Never in her life felt so sick, not after eating on of Starfire's various culinary attempts, not even her first 'monthly' did she feel such unease in her stomach. She was still at a loss at what had happened during the past five minutes. Wake up in a strange room on a couch, Jinx trying to smother their savior/captor with her crotch, a door being kicked in by a women with the largest rack she had ever seen, followed by said women attempting to kill her and Jinx before being scooped up and the sense of vertigo hitting her. Finishing up with her being in a small apartment. She was about to stand when another wave of nausea hit her, before finding a glass of a water in front of her face.

Naruto held a small glass of water out to her with a small smile. "This should help settle your stomach."

Blackfire accepted the glass of water without a comment before looking up into Naruto's face and couldn't help but blush, upset stomach forgotten.

Now Blackfire had a bit of experience around the male sex, both terrestrial and extra, but never had she met someone that stole the breath from her body. During her travels around the galaxy and planet earth, she met plenty of boys she would describe as cute. Robin was cute, even with the domino mask, Beastboy could've been called cute, if you squinted and possibly be recovering from a head injury. But neither those two nor any others she met during her travels could compare to what stood before her.

Blonde hair, longer than most men but not excessively so, framed a face that still held a bit of roundness of youth but was giving way to the sharpness of adulthood. Set in this handsome face were two eyes that were the deepest blue, and his smile. Gods, words just couldn't describe his smile. His face creased slightly when he smiled, combining with the marks on his cheek that could only remind her of whiskers, making him look vulpine and quite mischievous. So enraptured with his face, Blackfire didn't notice Jinx regained her physical capabilities and looked quite perturbed. She did notice Jinx dragging her Adonis away though.

Naruto gave the ebony haired maiden a smile he hoped would set her at ease. Though the way she seemed to study his face didn't help his. He was about to ask her if she was okay when he felt someone grip his shoulder as they twirled him. Bringing him face to face with an irate girl.

"Who the hell do you think you are? What kind of idiot leaps from a window several stories up?"

He couldn't make head or tails of what the girl was trying to say; only that she was very angry.

"And who was that big breasted cow and why did she look like she was going to kill me?"

Still gibberish.

"You do realize I can't understand a word you're saying right?"

The girl seemed to bite back a remark, slipping into thoughts before speaking.

"You…are…asshole!"

Naruto couldn't help but arch a brow at that. He honestly didn't expect her to say something like that.

"Idiot…retard…dickhead, stupid bastard, are you retarded or just plain nuts?" The girl screamed out before sucking in a large breath.

Surprise couldn't even hope to describe what Naruto was feeling at this moment. "Wow, never seen anyone pick up elemental so quick."

The pink haired girl couldn't help but glare. "I'm not speaking 'Elemental' it's called Japanese you damn idiot. Every member of the hive has to learn it along with German, French and several other languages."

"No…" Naruto drawled out, trying not to grin at the girl's stupidity. "Its Elemental, the language of the Elemental Nations. Did you hit your head or something?"

The girl seemed to have gone silent at this comment. Pondering some thoughts, her face souring as the seconds passed by.

"Where are we?"

"The Hidden Leaf village in the Land of Fire."

Soured gave way to surprise before sadness came into being.

"And what planet are we on?"

Now that question stumped Naruto, it took him several moments to remember what Iruka said years ago during a class on astronomy.

"I think it's called Gaia."

"Gaia, not Earth…"

Panic began to appear on her face, whatever news he gave her wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"Where the hell did that Goth bitch send us?" She muttered quietly, asking herself rather than asking him.

Naruto was beginning to get worried when he saw tears begin to form in the corners of her eyes. He was about to put a hand on a shoulder and ask if she was okay when he felt himself get turned around yet again. Finding himself in a lip lock with the girl that was previously sitting on the couch. He couldn't move, couldn't even attempt to push her away as she deepened the kiss.

Blackfire just sat quietly as she watched Jinx argue with Mr. handsome, starting in English before slipping into a language she didn't recognize though it sounded oddly familiar to those 'anime' shows people watched on earth. Which left her with a wee bit of a problem, the man (she couldn't find herself calling this perfect being anything but) in front of her couldn't understand English; she obviously had no idea what language he spoke. Even if sounded familiar. This problem needed to be rectified at once. So she did what any Tamaranean maiden on a strange world would do. She attempted to steal his breath away.

Seconds after her lips contacted his, words, pronunciations; even phonetics came into her mind, setting shop in the unused portions of her brain. Deepening the kiss brought an understanding of this world's alphabet along with a pleasant taste. Soon she gleaned all she could from the act but continued for the pleasure of it. But alas it wasn't meant to be, as the man struggled against her, his skin turning an odd shade of blue. He was of a race that needed air to breathe, so sadly she slackened her grip, allowing Naruto a chance to catch his breath.

His reaction was instantaneous. "Glorious air!"

"What are you doing?" Jinx hissed out, eyes boring through her.

"Learning the language of the land."

"Through kissing him? How the hell is that supposed to work."

"My race is capable of absorbing information through skin contact. It's just faster if we do it through kissing."

The small girl just pouted, blinking away tears that formed moments. "Now that just isn't fair…"

"The fact I don't need to study or…" Blackfire leaned forward and grinned impishly. "…that I kissed Mr. Hero before you? Starting to feel a little sweet on our blonde haired friend, eh Jinx?"

Jinx began to sputter denials, comments about the alien's promiscuity, and how the blonde was just an idiotic ass. Causing Blackfire to grin even more with every denial the pinkette was spewing. Eventually the girl came to her senses and how much of a fool she was appearing to the others in the room, most specifically the only holder of a y chromosome present. Deciding to tackle the giggling alien, beginning an impromptu tussle; oblivious to the chuckling blonde to the side or the knocking at the door.

Naruto couldn't help but chuckle as he watched the scuffle in front of him. It wasn't anything to serious if the dark haired girl's laughter was anything to go by and being witness to quite a few fights between girls in his time. Most of those being the odd scraps due to differing opinions to full blown cat fights due to a man; he doubted the tickle fest in front of him was going to escalate any further. Not that he would've mind, he was still a red blooded male after all.

Naruto was about to pull girls apart to get some answers when he heard someone knocking at his door. Throwing a glance to the girls that were on the floor, both giggling now, clueless as to why they would be giggling, most likely one of those girl things his gender would never know for millennia to come, and went to answer his door; swearing that he was going to hamstring someone if it was another one of those religious nuts trying to get him to convert again. Luckily it wasn't someone aiming to convert him, rather an Anbu, an extremely female Anbu.

An extremely athletic body stood before him, wrapped completely in tightly woven fishnet. The usual long legged pants favored by the elite operatives forgone for a pair of shorts that were borderline criminal. The normal sleeveless top was still present, but stretched tightly across an impressive bust. Both arms were covered with the typical guards before ending in fingerless gloves. Shin guards covered the lower legs ending slightly above the sandals the operative wore. The standard issues blade was present, hanging from the figure's back at an angle behind the left shoulder. Positioned so a draw could've been used as an attack.

As the figure reached up to remove her mask, the image of a weasel emblazoned on the white ceramic, allowing Naruto to see black hair pulled into a rough ponytail before a black eyes bored into his blue. The one, the only Itachi Uchiha stood before him, mischievous smile rivaling one of his own as she stared at him.

"Good evening Naruto-kun."

"Tachi-chan."

The women grinned widely at the pet name.

"I believe you have an idea as to why I'm here, correct?"

Naruto paused, scrunching his face as he thought of why the Anbu's golden child was here, causing said women to blush slightly before covering it up.

"Did Shizune send you here?"

"Good memory, Naruto-kun." She palmed his face, drawing an involuntary shudder from the boy. "Are those the two girls she mentioned?"

Naruto followed her line of sight, finding her looking at the two girls that were lying on his living room floor, both giggling lightly. Causing the Uchiha to arch a brow before turning back to Naruto.

"They seem to be out of breath. You didn't do anything too… illicit with them did you, Naruto-kun?"

Realizing just what the woman was insinuating, he gestured wildly, sputtering denials.

"They just finished having a scuffle, why I have the faintest clue, and now both are on the floor and giggling. I've done nothing! I swear it on Ero-sennin."

"You know Naruto-kun, considering your relationship with Master Jiraiya, that doesn't instill me with the greatest confidence." Itachi deadpanned.

"Oh come on, I've been home maybe ten minutes, there wouldn't be enough time for that, and even if it was, it would've lasted a hell of a longer than ten minutes!"

Eyes widened all around at the claim, even the two giggling girls ceased their actions at that. Making Naruto realize what he just yelled out to the world, the blush was instantaneous.

"Well, those two look pretty harmless." Itachi nodded to the girls, an action they reciprocated. "Still we have no idea about their origins or home village, so there is still the possibility of them being a threat. They will be watched for several days, possibly weeks. You have been tasked with supervising them as well as getting them acquainted with the village proper. An Anbu will be watching from the shadows as well. Shizune-sama has given you several weeks paid leave so you won't be short of funds."

Nodding as he listened to Itachi he asked the obvious question. "Okay, so I'm safe to assume Shizune-chan survived Tsunade. Just how did she manage that?"

"Never underestimate a medical ninja, especially one gifted in the field of poisons and tranquilizers."

"Ah."

"Now that my duty is complete, I must return to headquarters before heading home for dinner."

"Thanks Tachi-chan. Tell Mikoto-chan I said hi."

"Will do Naruto-kun, you should stop in sometime. Mother loves it when you come to visit."

With her piece said, Itachi planted a chaste kiss on Naruto before turning around and walking down the hallway, hips swaying with each step. Leaving Naruto standing there speechless with his two 'guests'. Seeing Itachi disappear down the stairs, he turned to face his guests. Finding one blushing while the other sensually smirked.

Blackfire's grin turned predatory. "So you're not a minute man, good to know."

"Friend Raven?"

"That's the cure for jock itch. Keep looking."

After much blushing, Naruto finally settled down, letting the girls take his couch while he took a seat on the floor between the two, before he began asking questions.

"First off, I never caught either of your names. I'm Naruto Uzamaki."

Jinx was the first to answer. "I'm Jill Manx, but everyone calls me Jinx due to my powers."

"Powers?"

"I'm able to control bad luck, basically I 'Jinx' things."

"And this 'Jinx' thing, what does it do exactly?"

Jinx pointed at one of the chairs that surrounded, willing for one of its legs to snap, but nothing happened. She tried charging her fist with bad luck, enough to power a small blast but nothing happened, not even a fizzle.

"I don't see anything happening, you okay?"

Jinx was anything but, her powers always worked, even when she didn't want them to. The fact nothing was happening even as she consciously tried unsettled. That never happened since she manifested her powers as a girl.

"My powers… they don't work…"

"Maybe you're tired; you two did have quite a long day. Maybe after a good night's sleep they'll be usable." Naruto gestured to Blackfire. "What's your name?"

"Komand'r in my native language, but translated into your language, it would be Blackfire."

"And do you have 'powers' as well?"

"Well I'm a lot stronger than the average person." She stepped up, lifted the couch over her head before sitting it down and retaking her place, curious as to why Naruto didn't so much as blink. "Why don't you seem so surprised?"

"That crazy blonde woman earlier can crush boulders with a finger."

"Well poo, I can shoot beams of energy." Cue another non blink from Naruto. "Why doesn't this surprise you?"

"I can spit fire from my mouth, teleport near instantly, and a variety of other things."

Blackfire pouted as this, she was used to people at least showing a reaction when she used her powers.

"Well I can fly!" 'Let's see him beat that.'

"Prove it."

And she did, gliding up from the couch and around Naruto few times before he stood up and grabbed her, patting her down as he did. Unconscious of where exactly his hands were wandering.

"What do you think you're doing?" Blackfire sputtered out as a hand wandered over her breasts.

"Well I'll be damned, you really can fly." He squinted at the girl he was holding. "Or really good with genjutsu." Before he placed her back on the couch.

Embarrassment ending, Blackfire looked at him with a questioning stare.

"What?"

"You know you are taking this reasonably well. I mean don't you think it's a bit weird that I can fly."

"I'm a ninja babe, I deal with the weird. The flying? That's new, the strength and energy bolts? I can do the same thing." He proved his point with a bit a chakra and lifting the couch with the two girls one handed, eliciting a squeak from the both of them.

"So explain to me where you two came from. It's obvious that neither of you are from the around here. I've been around the Elemental countries and some of the smaller outer ones and not once have I heard the language you two speak. Jinx said something about someplace called Earth. Where is that?"

Understanding what he was asking, and seeing Jinx was still a bit shocked at the absence of her powers, she answered to the best of her knowledge.

"Earth is more of a planet than a place, residing in the star system of Sol, in the Milky Way galaxy. Jinx is from there while I come from a planet called Tamaran."

"Wait, are you saying that Jinx comes from one world, while you." He pointed at Blackfire. "Come from a whole nother planet entirely. How the hell is that possible?" Naruto couldn't honestly understand that there were other worlds out there with their own races.

"I mean it's obvious with me, while I look like a female human, there are some differences, my odd skin color is one of them."

"It's not odd, a bit different maybe, but I've seen weirder. Nothing wrong with being orange since it's my favorite color."

Bless Naruto and the way his mind works, the alien girl turned light pink as she blushed from his comment.

"So how did you two get brought here? I found you two during a mission, in the middle of nowhere. Closest town twenty miles away. You two seemed to appear out of thin air."

Blackfire tried to remember what happened before she woke up. Remembering something about a fight, a girl in a blue cowl chanting something before a flash of light and the world going black.

"We were in a fight, I remember a girl, Raven if I remember her name right, was chanting something. I remember that she needed to chant to be able to use her powers. Then something happened, something went wrong. Jinx and I got wrapped in something before a sudden explosion of light…"

Naruto had a rough idea of what happened. Jiraiya had tried to teach him seals during their travels. He picked up a few of the simple ones with the promise of more as his understanding of seals grew. But one thing was kept during his teachings, sealing was very dangerous. Jiraiya explained to him that if someone attempted a seal they didn't understand it was very possible for it to backfire on them. The results usually consisted of missing appendages and vaporization, as with improperly made explosive tags, to even ceasing existence due to the fact sealing made it possible to warp the boundaries of dimensions and space. So a technique going wrong could've been possible, absurdities aside.

"Next thing I knew I was waking up with a woman glaring at Jinx with murder in her eyes. Scariest thing I've seen in my life."

"Tsunade has that effect on people."

"She seemed to be out to get Jinx more than me. Was it because she was sitting on your shoulders?" Blackfire asked.

"Tsunade is oddly protective of me at times."

"Why?"

"Long and embarrassing story." Naruto muttered as he glanced at the clock on the wall, finally realizing just how late it was. "You two should get some sleep. We can talk more tomorrow."

"Where can we sleep, this couch while quite comfy, can't possibly fit the two of us."

"You two can take my bed, it's only a full, but should be plenty of room for the two of you, also there's clothes in the dresser you two can change into since what you're wearing is dirty."

Blackfire nodded before asking a question of her own. "And where will you sleep?" Before realizing her stupidity as he gestured to the couch she was sitting on.

Naruto gestured down the hall. "Bedroom is the far door on the right and the bathroom is the door on the left. Make yourselves at home and feel free to take anything from the fridge or the cupboards, might not be much though since I've been out of the village most of the time."

Blackfire nodded before pulling Jinx and herself up, leading the silent girl towards the bedroom that Naruto mentioned, before turning back and grinning impishly at Naruto.

"You sure you want to sleep on the couch? It might be a tight fit with the three of us in one bed, but it would be quite cozy."

Naruto sensed her playful mood, even if Jinx seemed about ready to strangle the orange girl.

"Tempting offer that may be, I'm afraid I must decline, wouldn't be proper, as well as Jinx there looks to be about ready to kill you."

True to fact, Jinx was prepared for murder, even if she was blushing wildly.

Blackfire just heaved a sigh, before glaring at the smaller girl. "Why do you have to be such a spoilsport?"

"Friend Raven!"

"Star, that's a spell to cure E.D."

The Tamaranean blinked. "E.D.? What is that?"

"It when a man cannot get an erect… Wait a minute, why am I explaining this to you? Where did you even find that?"

Blackfire couldn't help but giggle when she saw the clothes Naruto said they could wear. Orange shirts filled the top drawer, tones varying from the basic orange to tangerine.

'I guess he wasn't joking when he said orange was his favorite color.'

The next drawer held boxers, all the more sensible color of black, grabbing two shirts and two pairs shorts, tossing a set of each to Jinx, bringing her back to reality, before removing her top.

"What the heck was that about Blackfire?" Turning to the girl before turning away again, catching the Tamaranean in the process of shucking her mini-skirt and panties. "What are you doing?"

"It been two days since I changed my clothes, I don't know about you, but I'm not keeping on any panties that I've worn for two days without them being washed." Blackfire said as she pulled Naruto's shorts up, finding them a little loose. "What's your problem anyway?"

"Aside from the fact we may be stuck here forever. Doesn't the fact we're on another world possibly another dimension bother you, or are you too infatuated with the blonde idiot to care?"

"First off I'm an alien; I came from another planet to earth, stopping at other worlds along way so ending up on another isn't a big deal. Second thing, Naruto is a hell of a lot better than what I've come across in my travels so I don't wouldn't mind being stuck here, or has being around the likes of Mammoth and Gizmo warped your taste in men?"

"I'll have you know my taste in men hasn't changed, the idiot may be cute, insanely strong, and have great hair, doesn't excuse the fact I'm currently stuck in a strange world."

"Hah!" Blackfire jammed her finger under Jinx's nose. "You find him hot as well. Probably the reason you kept grinding into him back at that office."

Jinx's face glowed at the accusation.

"You probably wouldn't have minded if it was just you and him here, sharing the bed."

All concepts of speech was lost now.

"So don't get on my back if I flirt with the first really decent guy I find in a long time."

"He's practically a stranger, didn't you hear him? He's a ninja, an assassin."

"So?" Blackfire asked as she took a seat on Naruto's bed, combing her hair with her fingers. "Everyone starts as strangers in the beginning, and so what if he's a ninja?"

"He kills people for a living?"

"He didn't say anything about killing anyone, and I'll be the first to admit I'm far from perfect, I mean look at us. We're villains, we steal and destroy building, we ruins people's livelihoods."

"We've never killed anyone though…"

"We've ruined people's lives, Jinx. We may not have killed anyone, but we ended some people's careers. We did a lot of that crap for fun, Naruto just does it as his duty."

"Still doesn't make it right." Jinx mumbled as she began to undress.

"Jinx nobody's perfect, quit worrying about it or you're going to get wrinkles. If it bothers you so much, talk to him about it. I'm sure he'll answer your questions."

"If you say so…" Jinx mumbled out as she decided if she wanted to wear her panties under the shorts Blackfire gave to her. They were starting to feel gross…

"Jesus, just take them off, you can wash them tomorrow."

Taking her friends advice, Jinx slipped her panties off before pulling the shorts up, finding them to be quite loose. Before shutting off the table lamp and slipping under the covers.

"You know something?" Blackfire asked in the darkness.

"What?"

"These sheets smell like him, it's quite pleasant really."

"Blackfire, you're incorrigible."

The next morning…

The apartment was silent aside from the creaking of springs and the soft snores emanating from the blonde of the couch. Causing the only person awake in the apartment to raise an uncovered brow. Kakashi Hatake wasn't one to state the obvious, but there was something out of the place with this situation. Finding Naruto asleep on his couch, drooling on a pink throw pillow. 'How Sakura managed to talk Naruto into buying those will forever remain a mystery to me'. Naruto usually crashed on the couch after a long mission, too tired to bother making the short trip to his bedroom, usually not bothering to get undressed as well. The Chunin vest lying next to said couch validated this point. So that wasn't too out of whack. The fact Kakashi could hear someone shifting on the bed in Naruto's room was a whole another thing.

Naruto usually didn't have guests over, before or after his trip with Jiraiya, considering he tried his damndest to get out of the village since returning. Oh how he couldn't understand Tsunade's love for him, or how willing she was to show it with the assistance of silk and lace. Biting back a perverted giggle at the thought, he went about his original business. Placing some much needed food in Naruto's fridge, making sure to put the butcher paper wrapped parcel in the bottom before sitting a couple loafs of bread on top of the fridge. His duty done, Kakashi moved towards Naruto's bedroom, set on uncovering of the mystery of laid within.

The urge to giggle came immediately as soon as he opened the door. Never in his wildest dream could imagine finding a girl in Naruto's bed, much less two. He cursed his students chivalry, here was a situation that was begging to be taken advantage of, but Naruto decided to let them take the bed while he slept on the couch. He was going to have a talk with that boy someday. Shutting the door when the pink haired girl shifted in her sleep. Creeping silently down the hallway, he made his way towards the front door, making sure to relock the door before slipping out.

Once outside, Kakashi let the giggles flow. His favorite student had two girls in his bed! The fact said student was unconscious on the couch never occurred to him, one a foreign beauty If her odd skin tone was to be taken into account, the other one seemed to be a distant relative of Sakura. He couldn't keep this revelation to himself; he needed to spread the news! Starting with his other two wayward students.

"Raven?"

"For the love of god Star, that isn't it. That's the booklet that comes with a cd."

The aroma of melted butter and bacon grease tickled his nose, replacing the urge to sleep with hunger. His stomach growled as it tried to crawl up his throat, forcing Naruto to finally pay it heed.

"Bout time you lazy ass woke up." A voice called from his kitchenette.

'Who the hell is that?'

Opening his eyes, he found a small girl humming as she worked at his stove.

'Oh, Jinx… making me breakfast... why?'

Ignoring the question to why exactly Jinx was making him breakfast, he pulled himself upright and stretched, several pops echoing through the apartment as bones moved back into their proper places. Stifling a yawn, Naruto dragged himself to his feet, padding over to where Jinx was before looking over her shoulder, unaware of how the girl stiffened at the slight contact of his cheek with hers.

He looked at the pan full eggs. "I had eggs?" Before looking into pan that sat behind the first. "And bacon?"

Jinx tried to keep her breathing under control, was he completely oblivious to just how intimate he was acting?

"They were in your fridge, first time I've ever seen bacon wrapped in butchers paper."

"I don't remember buying bacon or eggs for that matter." Naruto mumbled as he stepped away from the slightly flushed girl, making his way over to his fridge, looking to find out what other food stuffs magically appeared in his apartment while he slept.

"What are you doing?"

"I bought groceries two weeks ago, specifically buying things that would keep since I tend to be out of the village often. Eggs keep pretty well, but bacon doesn't unless it was smoked. That…" He pointed at the pan with said bacon in it. "…isn't smoked. Someone was here while we slept."

Jinx paused her stirring. "You don't think someone poisoned this stuff do you?"

"Nah…" He pulled a carton of milk from the fridge, showing her it was still sealed, before flipping it around showing her a note with a badly done doodle on it. "Seems Kakashi-sensei made a delivery."

"And he is?"

"One of my teachers, has it in his head that I should eat more than pre packaged food."

"Sound advice if those packages of ramen filling the cupboards is any indication of your dietary habits."

Naruto pouted at the small girls jab. "Don't knock the ramen… Anyway how long till the food is done?"

"It'll be done soon, but you're not getting any till you get cleaned up." She wrinkled her nose and giggled. "You stink."

"When you carry a girl for over fifty miles during midsummer and come out smelling like a rose, you can tell me your secret."

"Still doesn't change the fact you smell like old gym shorts."

"Yeah yeah, I heard ya, no shower no food."

Jinx patted his back before turning back to the food. Leaving the blonde to pad towards his bedroom for a change of clothes, pausing briefly at the lump of bedding that Blackfire wrapped herself in. Chuckling as a snore managed to escape the lump as he pulled out a change of clothes from his dresser. Clothes in hand he stepped into his bathroom, stripped, and jumped into his shower. Cursing as the water started in cold for a few seconds before hot water flowed out of the shower head. Finally with the soothing hot water cascading off his back, he began the process of lathering up. Oblivious to bathroom door opening or someone putting the toilet seat down.

Blackfire couldn't help but groan when she heard the bedroom door shut. She couldn't go back to sleep, the blaring sunlight bouncing off the walls along the pressure in her abdomen put a stop to that line of thought. Grunting, she pulled her body out its cloth based cocoon and stretched, yawning all the while. Finding herself more awake, she worked on taking care of another urge, opening the door only to be greeted with the smell of frying bacon. Now she was hungry and had to pee.

A pink head popped around the corner of the hallway. "Morning Blackfire."

Blackfire responded with a grunt, opening the first door she came across in her search for the bathroom, finding herself starting at a bunch of boxes. She had found Naruto's closet. Shutting the door she stepped towards the other one that sat in the hall. Grabbing the handle, she twisted…

"You should wait a few minutes, Black. Naruto's in the…" The door opened and shut. "…shower."

Sighing with relief when the toilet bowl stood in front of her, she walked over the clothes that laid on the floor, ignored the humming shadow behind the curtains, and pulled down her shorts. With her business done, she wiped and flushed the toilet.

Now completely awake, she looked into the mirror that hung behind the sink, finding herself with a serious case of bed head, before a yelp emanated from behind the shower curtain. Suddenly she found herself staring at the reflection of a nude and wet Naruto. Both stared in silence, before Blackfire looked down and flushed and averted her eyes. Naruto realized he was standing there completely naked, in the presence of a female, yelped as he shut curtain as Blackfire ran from the bathroom.

Now awake, flushed, and beyond embarrassed, Blackfire found herself standing in the kitchen/living area. Jinx buttering toast before looking up at her.

"What's with you?"

"Naruto… naked… wet…"

Jinx just sighed as she picked up another piece of toast. "You should've listened to me."

On the outskirts of Konoha…

"Friend Raven…"

"Star, if you give me another ridiculous incantation, excerpt from the Kama Sutra, or a video game instruction manual from Cyborg's games, I'm going to hurt someone."

"No, Raven, it's nothing like that."

"What is it then?"

"I don't think we're in the tower anymore."

That comment made Raven look up from her book, finding the both of them surrounded by tall trees. Their leaves thick enough to block out the sun. Looking between the trees and her naïve friend. Raven had to ask the obvious question.

"Star… what did you just do?"

A/N: Just something I whipped up to get back into the habit of writing again. Hell of a lot longer than I had originally planned, but what can I say? I got back into the groove. Decided to give some underused characters some love. Anyway, enjoy and don't forget to review.