RED CHAIR BLUE CHAIR

Disclaimer : I do not own Bonanza, or any of its characters. David Dortort and Fred Hamilton created them and played with them for 14 years. The series is owned by NBC.

.A.N. The style of this chapter will similar to the first. Alex thoughts are in italics. Oh, and Alex can't spell and is prone to ramble without taking a breath.

Warning : Spanking of a minor unless Alex can talk her way out of it.

Chapter 4 – The Not So Lucky Marble.

After all I didn't have my lucky marble any more. It's probably embedded in Mrs. Wilburn's butt. Poor thing it didn't deserve to go out that way.

Alexandra came out of the outhouse and walked with Uncle Joe over to the wash basin just outside the Kitchen door. They could hear Hoss and Adam talking.

''Awe Adam ya gotta admit. It's pretty funny. I for one, would have loved ta have seen that old biddy's face when she was stuck with that pin.''

Adam chuckled" No, her's wasn't the funniest, it was poor Sam's. When she just PLOPPED out, then started to fall on top of him …he ..he..he.. well, I think his life flashed before his eyes. "

I know how he felt, but for me it was only a quick flash cause I'm only ten.

''Oh… the place was a real mess though. Poor Sam he wouldn't let me stay and help, thought I better get my little hurricane home.''

Everybody erupted with laughter.

Gosh, ya think ifin they think it was that funny, I wouldna had to stay in the corner all day!

"Ah, yeweeee, ahhhhh,'' Hoss laughed then sighed, "no stop it Adam, I can't take it no more..." Hoss just couldn't stop belly laughing.

''Hey!'' Joe said, "come on wash your hands.'' He then flicked Alex with the towel, noticing a strange sound as the towel made contact with the paper book she'd tucked into her pants, thus detecting her little safety precaution.

That little flick ruined my last hope. Uncle Joe, he's not as old as his big brother Adam, my daddy, but he is nearly just as smart because he figured out that I had a magazine down my overalls, ya know for padding, any way these detective books must be real good cause Joe detected that I had it there just by the sound the towel made when it hit my pants . That's the first rule ifin ya wanna be a detective, ya gotta keep ya eyes and ears open, even though ya ears are open all the time, even when ya sleep , but ya gotta have extra real good hearin to be a detective. Uncle Joe has real good extra hearin!

''Hey wadda got in there '' Joe said real slow, as a mock warning.

"Nuffin!''

Joe smirked at his niece and lent to pull the soft book out. Turning away from him, Alex desperately retorted, ''No ya can't have it….. It's … it's protection.''

He turned her back and as quick as a flash "TA DA" he pulled it out.

I should teach him the rabbit outta the hat trick; he got THE TA DA spot on.

Joe started laughing. ''Oh no pip squeak this ain't gonna work.''

"Howda you know?

''Because it never worked for me, well maybe once … with pa… when he used he his belt and he couldn't feel my butt, plus he had a bad cold and was all stuffed up in the head and couldn't hear a thing, but if he'd used his hand, well he would have guessed; just like Adam did that one time I tried to trick him. Let me tell you that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. He had to undo my pants and long john flap to get the book out then he just left them down and smacked my bare bottom. And there's those around here calls them there type of smacks "real stingers'', little lady.'' Explained Joe in a mock cowboy drawl…"If I were you I wouldn't be risking it.''

''Maybe he will use the belt?''…..sounds like a plan?

"Na darling, I don't think so. He wouldn't use a belt on you, only his hand.''

Dang blam it, a hard hand and a conscience, just my luck, I'd wish I'd used the '' tiger eye'' that I won from Jason that day, then I would still have my lucky marble , which I think I'm really gonna need right now, but then ifin I had used the ''tiger eye'' it probably wouldna even touched the surface of Mrs. Sticky Nose Big Bum Wilburn's butt and I woulda not be in the big trouble I'm in now. Maybe I should get little George …na he don't fit in my bib pocket as well as my back pocket and he don't deserve no spanking from dad.

Joe could see the worry on Alex's face '' You know he doesn't like having to spank you. And I bet my last dollar that he's in there feeling right sick about it.''

''Maybe we should call Doc martin. He could give him some tonic, like cough syrup, maybe he got an anti don't spank ya kids ifin it makes ya sick tonic. I mean he's getting old ya know, he should look after his health. I wouldn't want him getting sick on account of me."

Joe burst out giggling. Jeez, this kid got more lines that I ever had and she's dead serious about it.

Gee Uncle Joe makes me laugh when he laughs like that. Nearly everybody starts to laugh when he laughs like that, its infected! Everybody just can't help themselves. Hey that's a plan! I could get Uncle Joe to go into the kitchen and tell a funny story. A funny story about him doing some silly bad thing, so they'd realise that kids just do bad silly stuff without meanin it, and then he could start laughing and then they all could start laughin and everybody would be laughin all night and dad would probably forget about the smacking stuff.

''Hey, Uncle Joe; look you could really help me out. See if you go into the kitchen and create a divergent…''

"You mean diversion…. What kind of diversion?"

"Well, IFIN. YOU. WOULD. JUST. LET. ME. FINISH!"

Joe found it difficult to stop from bursting out laughing again as Alex stood there with one hand on her hip and the gesticulation of the other with every word she said.

''Well, if you could go in there and tell them all a funny story about one of your pranks or something. Like the time you were trimming daddy's hair, cause he was desperate, and you accidentally cut a big chunk outta the back, and if dad had found out he woulda rung your scrawny little neck. So ya tried to hide it from him by pretendin you was putting some fancy hair lotion on it and instead ya used the rubber glue and stuck in a big clump of hair onto the back of his head so that when he checked it in the mirror he wouldn't notice. And then when it fell out a couple days later, ya made him think he was going bald and convinced him to use a magic lotion that Hop Sing made and that ifin he used everyday his hair would grow back really thick. ''

Hmmmm...Dad must used it on his eyebrows instead.

''Oh but I wouldn't tell the part about how you and Hoss made the lotion out cow dung and linseed oil."

Joe absolutely lost it! Firstly because Alex was so animated and serious about her little plan and secondly because it was one of the funniest tricks they had ever played on Adam and he never ever found out.

At this thought Joe immediately stopped laughing. "Do I look crazy? I'm not going to tell him that. He WILL ring my scrawny little neck.

''Aww come on 'you'll be saving my skinny little hide.''

''Alexandra! I'm not going to do it, not even for your skinny little hide.''

Alex was now grasping at straws. ''Well maybe I will tell him then."

Joe frowned and bent down close to Alexandra's face. ''You do and BOTH OF US WILL BE SPORTING A VERY SORE ASS! That's blackmail!''

''Okayyyyy, I'm sorry I won't tell and I won't tell him you said the ass word in front of me either.''

Gosh this kid was sharp! ''Come on you've created enough diversions for one day. You're just delaying the inevitable.''

Joe took Alex's hand and walked into the kitchen. Hoss and Adam were sitting at the table. Hoss was still wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes and Hop Sing was chuckling while he stirred the pot on the stove. Adam quickly rubbed his hand across his face and left it there to cup his smirking mouth.

'Gee Uncle Hoss is crying. Hmf…Crying with laughter and so is Hop Sing. I know he's laughing because when he laughs, he laughs in English, when he gets angry ,he gets angry in Chinese and when he gets sad, he gets sad in both. Dad's not laughing. He's got his hand over his mouth. Gee maybe Uncle Joe is right maybe he is feeling sick. Maybe he's gonna vomit. Golly I didn't mean for him to feel so bad.

Adam removed his hand from his mouth to speak.'' Alex go and sit down in the big room. I will be there in a minute.''

''Can I give you a hug first?''

''Sure sweetheart, come here.'' And he held out his arms.

Alex dropped into his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck then played with his hair.

After a moment Alex spoke without moving from her comfortable position. ''Hey daddy looks like that lotion of Uncle Joe's and Uncle Hoss's worked, your hairs all grown back and boy is it thick.''

Joe and Hoss spluttered.

''Are you trying to butter me up now?''

She turned and looked at the concerned faces of Joe and Hoss.

Naaa…. she couldn't do it to them. It would be really mean, besides they're the best Uncles in the whole world.

''Yep! Any LUCK?"

"Nope … off you go.''

They all watched her leave S L o w L y and head off to the big room.

Adam drank the last of his coffee. ''Well, time to deal with our little cyclone.''

''Poor kid ''said Joe.

''Don't be too hard on her Adam she's just a little speck of a thing,'' pleaded Hoss.

''Lotta mischief, ''piped up Hop Sing. "Just like naughty boy Little Joe.''

"And just like naughty boy Little Joe, she's going to get a spanking," declared Adam.

They all nodded in resignation. Little Joe winched at the memory of his brothers hard hand.

''Stop making feel like a real heel. She did cause absolute chaos today, injured an elderly citizen of Virgina City and nearly got herself seriously hurt. She needs to control that temper of hers and not be so impulsive. She's so much like her m... I know she's only ten but well …. Well, she needs to understand that there are consequences for her actions. And if I don't teach her that then…. then anything could happen.''

The boys knew he was starting to think about Kathryn, so Joe broke in with his observations.

''Who ya tryin to convince, us or you? You blistered my butt plenty of times and I live to tell the proverbial tale. Well my tail, maybe not.''

Adam chuckled and then rolled his eyes. ''Thanks you could have left out that last part.''

''Come on Adam. She'll be fine. Can't wait to hear her excuses though, she sure is a funny little scallywag, '' said Hoss

''Yes your right. I'm sure they will be," he said, then headed off to the big room.

Adam paused a moment as he watched Alex fidget with her short blond curls. She was sitting on the arm of the big red chair, swinging her legs and pulling on a wayward ringlet, then releasing it and watching it bounce back to her forehead. Time to put her out of her misery thought Adam.

Adam had swatted Alex a few of times over the last year but had only ever really spanked her twice and only then because she couldn't control that temper of hers. Both times she had thrown a real good tantrum, kicking and yelling before picking up the nearest object and hurtling it across the room in anger. On those occasions Adam had quietly and quickly grabbed the child around the waist, sat down in the blue chair and put her across his knee. The six stinging smacks applied to her little backside were effective and stopped Alex in her tracks. The tirade of anger turned into tears, apologies' and a long cuddle.

Adam hoped that this time would be less dramatic and minus a tantrum. This morning's events were more than dramatic enough. He and his brothers had to admit that they found the entire event even a little funny, well a lot actually, but Alex was not going to know that. She would be sure to play on that. She was very good at misconstruing the seriousness of a situation and could just about talk her way out of anything. Adam was positive that Alex would probably do well in a legal career either that or become the ring master of a circus.

''Alexandra'' Adam spoke as he walked to the blue chair and sat down. He crooked his finger and called her over. ''Come here" he said, pointing to the space in front of him. He put both hands on her hips and said. ''Before we have a very serious discussion over my knee little lady. I would like to know why you fired a potentially dangerous missile at Mrs Wilburn?''

"She said mean things!"

''What mean things did she say?''

''I can't rememba exactly, but she called you a fish and momma an insane dancer and goodness knows what else. And she said I looked like nobodies child. Oh, and she said you should get married to a despicable woman.''

Somehow Adam didn't think Alex had got everything quite right, maybe she wouldn't do well in law after all; she'd make a terrible witness on the stand. However the word insane worried him. Alex obviously didn't know what it meant, but she got the gist that it was something bad. The snarkey old biddy deserved a good spanking too. Yet while her comments were vexatious and malicious, Alex's actions could have had serious consequences.

''Well Alex, your right Mrs Wilburn did say mean things but you could have really hurt Mrs Wilburn. If that marble had hit her in the head it could have …" He hesitated to say 'kill her', ''or hit her in the eye you could have blinded her.''

''Just like when David killed Goliath with his sling shot?''

''Yep a little like that.''

''But David was the good guy. And the giant was the bad guy''

''No well, not really like that then … the giant was a really, really bad person and Mrs Wilburn is not, she's just said mean things, so you can't hurt her. You know that. ''

''She just has a giant ass.'' Oops just thought out loud again!

''Alex !'' Swat …smack

''OW … OW..!You make it sound like I killed her; she only ended up with a sore bottom, which seems only fair as now I've got one too!''

''Yes well to take your lead with the bible quotes… 'An eye for an eye, A tooth for a tooth!''

Alex crossed her arms and pouted, ''I was only defending our honour … And besides, how was I supposed to know all that stuff was going to happen. I'm a good shot. I aimed at her ass…arr bottom. It was wide enough… I coulda been blind folded and still would a hit it. It didn't seem that dangerous … Well not until her butt nearly swallowed me whole when I got stuck under the shelf.''

While Adam wanted to break into laughter his poker face remained serious. To stop himself he pretended to ponder on the situation by pinching the bridge of his nose.

Giggles could be heard coming from the kitchen Joe's infectious laugh nearly set Adam off. So he coughed really loudly.

The boys took the cue and exited out the back door laughing hysterically. They headed to the barn to finish chores before dinner.

Alex didn't take her eyes of her father, trying to read his features. She knew she was doomed but how completely doomed was yet to be determined.

''Alexandra , being upset by an old gossiping woman does not condone you shooting Mrs Wilburn with a slingshot, causing her to fall, which in turn caused utter chaos and a lot of damage to Mr. Potter's store and nearly killed you in the process. All because you lost your temper! You will NOT get your sling shot back EVER! ''

Geesh, he's making it sound much worse than it really was. What am I gunna do now. Without my sling shot means that I'm gonna have no hope keeping my championship title of the best shot, 12 and under.

Adam noticed her daydreaming and put his hand under her chin and lifted it up, gaining her attention, ''And what were you thinking when you stabbed Mrs Wilburn with a six inch hat pin.''

Shooting! , stabbing!, He's makin this sound really, really, bad.

''Well ?''

''Huh?''

''What were you thinking of when you stuck a pin into Mrs Wilburn's asarrr… bottom.''

''SELF PRESERVATION! …it was a pretty tight and sticky and stinky situation ya know!''

Adam was about to give up, he again pinched the bridge of his nose to remind himself to stay focused. ''Alex tell me why are you being punished this afternoon.''

''Because grandpas commin home tonight and he would be very sad to have to you listen to his favourite granddaughter being murdered.''

''ALEXANDRA!''

'' Because Mrs Wilburn nearly died when she fell back and broke Mr. Potters store and nearly killed me when she landed on top of me. Because Mrs. Sticky Nose Big buuu…,Mrs Wilburn is mean and a nasty gossiper, but not a giant so she shouldn't havta die just maybe loose a couple of teeth. I think loosing and eye would be a bit mean dad, you should not have said that. Poor thing she's ugly enough. She'd look like a pirate, which would be ok if ya wanna look like a pirate, but I don't think she would like to look like a pirate.''

''ALEANDRA!'' Adam tried to calm down before he went on. His father had always advised that punishment administered to a child should never be done in anger or frustration. The without frustration part wasn't working for him at the moment.

''Alexandra, you are purposely changing the slant on this incident. Now either answer my questions honestly and sincerely or you will be getting this spanking on your bare bottom and another one every night for a week.''

So there it was. One of the things that his pa would have said; one of the threats Adam promised himself he would never say to a child of his own. My god he'd become his father!

Alex's eyes went wide. She was either going to wet her pants or burst into tears. She decided she better talk fast. So she plodded on as best she could. ''I shot my magic marble at Mrs Wilburn because it's my lucky one and I knowed it would hurt, because I'm the under 12 champion and I never miss - I was mad cause she said mean things. It was my fault that Mr. Potters store got broke – up and you had to pay for everything that got broke - I stuck a long, long pin into Mrs Wilburn that coulda been very dangerous for Mr Potter because shescreamed and landed on top of him which mighta crippled him and he mighta had to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair and I would feel so bad and you woulda have had to bought his store and I would work there for free so I could make it up to Mr Potter - and even if Mrs Wilburn came in I would treat her as a despicable lady and be nice to her so you could be proud of me."

Adam gave up trying to get a straight answer from her. Fact was, it was exactly how she thought and saw it. Her creative embellishments were truly a gift and she did pretty much hit the nail on the head regarding the mistakes she had made and the consequences of her choices.

''Alexandra I am already proud of you.''

Alex smiled ''so no spanking then?''

''No such luck little girl, but you get to keep your britches up.'' With that he put Alex across his knee and administered the first hard smack.

''Oweee .''Alex yelped and wriggled.

Smack ,Smack.

''Ow… Ow'' Alex started to buck and twist, then kick her legs trying to get off her father's knees. Adam held firm.

''Alex, STOP KICKING!''

''WELL STOP SMACKING THEN!''

Adam trapped her kicking legs with his right leg and continued to smack her denim clad bottom.

Smack, "You will not lose your temper," Smack, Smack, "and throw things," Smack, or "shoot," Smack, or try to hurt anyone," Smack, Smack. "No thinking Out Loud!" Smack, "and no acting without thinking." Smack, Smack, Smack. "Is That Clear?''

Alex was yelling so loud she didn't actually hear her father, but she didn't feel another swat so she thought he must have finished.

Smack

"Owwee"

''Alex, do you understand?''

''Yes sir.''

Adam stood her up and looked at her tear stained face. Within a couple of seconds she stopped jumping up and down on the balls of her feet and started to rub her backside. Adam's heart nearly melted when he spotted a fresh set of tears building up in the wells of her eyes ,slighting vibrating and threatening to spill from the rims of her big bright green orbs.

''I don't think it was worth getting mad at Mrs Wilburn Alex, do you?''

''No sir. Definitely not…Not for Mr Potters store, not for you, not for Mrs Wilburn …well maybe for Mrs Wilburn …" Adam frowned, " or maybe not…Definitely not for me. But most of all, not for my lucky marble; I never got it back. I guess it's not so lucky any more. It's probably lost forever in the great expanse of Mrs Wilburns aa... Petticoats.'' she sniffed. ''Are you still mad at me?''

''A Little," Adam said and then kissed her forehead. "But I love you very, very much and I never want to see you get hurt. You know I was really scared today. I thought you might have been crushed by those big shelves. I was so scared, I thought you may have been really, really hurt or even killed. And Alex, that would have made me very sad. So sad that I don't think I would ever get over it. Grandpa and Hoss and Joe they wouldn't get over it either because they love you so much, as much as me. So you need to remember this little talk, so there won't be a next time. So you will think before you lose your temper.''

''You didn't talk much. Next time, talk as much as you want.''

''No next time, Alex. Alexandra, promise me.'' Adam asked gently and quietly.

That was it. The flood gates opened and Alex started to sob and sob.

Sobbing and hiccup-ping she tried to say ''I ppp promise daddy .. .I I I www won't ever wa…wa want to make you sssaaad . ''

Adam picked up his little girl and stood up. Resting her head on his shoulder, she snuggled into his neck under his chin. Adam held her up with one arm supporting her bottom while the other hand rubbed her back.

''Shhh, shhhh, it's okay , it's okay. It's over now.'' He cooed. Alex had never seemed so small and so young. He imagined that this is what she would have been like as a toddler. It made him sad to think that he hadn't been part of her life at that time. He gently rocked from side to side and sang…

Backward, turn backward, oh, time in your flight

Make you a baby again, just for to night!

My baby come back from the echoless shore,

Take you again to my heart as of yore.

Kiss on your forehead the furruws of care,

Smooth the fine silver thread out of your hair,

Over the slumbers you're loving watch I keep.

Rock you to sleep, darling— rock you to sleep!

As he continued to sing Adam moved to the big red chair and sat Alex on his knee. She turned a little sideways and continued to snuggle into his shoulder. Sniffing every once and awhile.

''Shhh shhh I'm not mad anymore… shh come on…shhhh and he kissed her head softly.''

''Good''

With that Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out the brightly colored marble he found on the floor of the store and handed it to her.

''Here you may need this."

THE END

WELL NOT QUITE

Epilogue

Ben arrived home late that night and found Alex and Adam both asleep in the big red chair. He grabbed a throw rug and placed it gently over them. He was happy to be home and the sight of his son with his granddaughter snuggled up in her nightdress cradled in her father's lap was divine. They would all catch up tomorrow, over a nice big breakfast. He was eager to hear all their news and talk about his trip to San Francisco. He had little gifts for all of them and couldn't wait to hand them out. He hoped Alexandra would like the lovely little dress he'd picked out for her; Green with little yellow flowers and a matching bonnet.

Now the end – hope you enjoyed it.

A.N. Song adapted from "Rock Me To Sleep" (Words by Florence Percy. alias for Elizabeth Akers Allen, 1832-1911)

Keep your eye out for the next story

"I've swallowed the green dress" …. And watch Alex pull a rabbit out of her hat !