Yokay. A NEW Crack Fic from me. XD

This is the first fic I made for KHR in a while isnt it?

Anyway, the idea was given to me by my friend. I just made him listen to Fran's character song and all, (BECAUSE I LOVE FRAN AND HIS VOICE IS AWESOME!) and suddenly he said... "I wonder what the Varia's reaction will be when he sings in front of them" And KABOOM! Plot Bunny

And Yes, all of them gets to sing XD

Squalo's the only one who uses his first Character song because it fits it better. XD I really like his new character song too. AND BEL'S OLD ONE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITES! but the new one fit better here too.

Song Titles at the end.

Karaoke: Varia Style

"What… the hell is THIS?" asked Squalo as he pointed to the abomination. All the Varia members, except for the boss, were lounging around in the living room of the Varia Castle. It was their day off, apparently.

"It looks like a Karaoke machine" said Fran, standing beside Squalo.

"I KNOW that, I'm asking why it's HERE!" Squalo exclaimed.

"I brought it here because I thought Xanxus-sama might like it" Levi spoke up from behind the karaoke machine.

"Boss likes Karaoke?" Fran asked Squalo.

"How should I know?" Squalo replied

"Oy, Trash, what is that?" Xanxus suddenly made an entrance.

"Shishishi~ it's what peasants use when they feel like singing in their free time called the Karaoke Machine" explained Bel suddenly popping out from behind Fran.

"Hey, Fake Prince-sempai, your invading my personal space you know" said guy complained.

"Ahh, itai. Bel-sempai, could you please not throw your weird looking knives at me?"

"Shishishi~"

"Vooi, what should we do with this thing?" Squalo asked, referring to the Karaoke Machine.

Xanxus stared at it for a little while before grabbing the mike and looking through the song book.

The rest of the Varia stared…

"I'll go make some snacks then, be back in a jiffy" Lussuria headed for the kitchen.

"Shishishi~ looks like boss is gonna sing" Bel grinned, taking a seat and dragging Fran with him.

"Bel-sempai, that hurts you know" Fran complained in a completely monotone voice.

"Urusai , baka kaeru" Bel said.

"YAY! BOSS!" Levi cheered.

"This is going to be the first time we'll ever hear Boss sing right?" said Fran from his perch next to Bel, who happens to have a knife pushed up against his throat. "Sempai, could you please remove the knife from my throat? It's getting really uncomfortable" Fran stated, completely still because of the close proximity of said weapon.

"Shishishi~" that meant no.

"Sigh"

"I'm back with the snacks!" Lussuria announced as he layed down a bowl of chips and a plate of cookies on the table.

Then, a song started playing on the Karaoke machine, and the room grew quiet, Squalo, Levi and Lussuria all took their seats, wanting to listen to their boss sing for the first time in a while… if at all.

shakunetsu no sekai wo furuwase hametsu no sakebi ga hibiku
sonzai suru arayuru mono wo kuppuku saseru kono chikara

ukabiagaru ikari no moyou ga shoumei suru hokori takaki chi no tsuyosa wo

moesakaru ikari de subete wo shihai suru
kono te ni yadoru honoo arekurui uzumaku gouka

ashimoto ni sae oyobanai kasu tomo wa damatte shitagae
jyama suru nara koko de kiero urusee tooboe wa kikiakita

moyashi tsukusu katachi mo todomenu hodo obieru koe hai ni natte iku keshiki

doumou na honoo ga fundo no sakebi wo ageru
ikari ni moeru kobushi sekai wa yugande iku

moesakaru ikari de subete wo shihai suru
kono te ni yadoru honoo arekurui uzumaku gouka

"Xanxus-sama" Levi was all teary eyed. "You really are a great singer"

"Ara, that was a great song boss" Lussuria exclaimed.

"Shishishi~ That was great boss, I didn't know you were a singer" commented Bel.

Fran was about to say something sarcastic (about Bel) but was unable to as Bel pushed the knife closer to his throat. "Gokuri"

"Not Bad" said Squalo, as he grabbed the discarded mike. "I GO NEXT"

He then selected a song, and the music started almost immediately.

…

"VOOOOOOOOOI!" Squalo screamed into the mike, amplifying his already loud voice, thus shaking the entire castle and all the inhabitants. Good thing the other members managed to block their ears. Except for one.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP TRASH" Xanxus said as he threw his wine glass at Squalo's silver Hair.

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Squalo cried out. Xanxus stayed impassive.

Squalo quickly caught his cue.

Yami kirisaku shougeki no kiba
Kage matoishi senketsu no BEERU

Tatakai ni yudaneshi sadame
Mou daremo tomerare wa shinai

Kaze sakamaki zetsubou wo yobu
Sora koboreshi itsuwari no ame yo

Tatakai wa chi shio ni mamire
Ore no se ni shikabane ga tsuzuku

Tooi ashita no kioku sono ikari hokori no kotoku
Tooi kinou no chikai omae ni tsuiteikuto kimeta

Voooi, jamasuru kasu wo tatakiru
Sono mama kisama oroshitearuze
Ugokidashitara tomarane
Shinzo wo kirekizandearu
Ore wa SUKUAARO, SUPERUBII SUKUAARO da!

Yoru ugomeku nikushimi no kai
Koe sasayaku kanashimi no uta wo

Tatakai ni owari wa konai
Tomattara ore wa ikirarenu

Tooi ashita no kioku senjou ni nagareta inochi
Tooi kinou no chikai arai nagasu REKUIEMU no ame

Tooi ashita no kioku sono ikari hokori no kotoku
Tooi kinou no chikai omae ni tsuiteikuto kimeta

"Squ-chans good too" Lussuria said

"Not bad Squalo Sakusen Taichou. Shishishi~" Bel commented.

Xanxus just grunted. "At least you didn't make anyone deaf"

"ALRIGHT! WHO'S NEXT?" Asked Squalo, holding the mike out.

"I am" Fran said, raising his right hand, carefully to make sure he doesn't lose his head.

"Fran-chan's going to sing!" Lussuria squeeled "I bet your voice is as cute as you are"

"The Frog knows how to sing?" Bel faked a gasp, with hand gesture and all.

"Yes I do Bel-sempai, unlike some other crazy fake prince-sempai"

"What was that Froggy? I didn't hear you" Glistening knives were out and the one on Fran's throat was getting dangerously close.

"Gulp"

Bel thought for a moment, before he removed the knife from Fran's throat. "Shishi~ Alright Froggy, lets hear you croak"

Fran got up immediately and took the mike from Squalo's outstretched hand. He selected a song, gave a large inhale, and then an exhale.

REAL? gensou? azamuku kaikan
kuse ni naru chikara tsukatte

I'M A TOP MAGICIAN

jizai ni gushagusha desu yo

massugu nanka jya byousatsu desu

netsu wo samashite abaremashou

shinku no mori wa ME no WONDERLAND

nee acchi ni mo kocchi ni mo iru yo

ME darake

asobi ni oide yo ME no WONDERLAND

honmono wa dore da? inochi ga ke de mitsukete

SEVERE? rifujin? kageki na kanjyou

tanjyun na senpai aotte

I'M A TOP MAGICIAN.

jizai ni dorodoro desu yo

bonyari shite tara owarimasu yo

hotto shinai de midaremashou

chinori no mori wa ME no WONDERLAND

nee oitsuite senaka ni gin no KNIFE wo

asonde ageru yo ME no WONDERLAND

honmono no REAL? inochi ga ke de mitsukete

shinku no mori wa ME no WONDERLAND

nee acchi ni mo kocchi ni mo iru yo

me darake

asobi ni oide yo Me no WONDERLAND

honmono wa dore da? inochi ga ke de mitsukete

saa ikinokoreru no wa docchi deshou?

It was sang in a completely monotone voice with a completely emotionless face and yet...

a large squeel was heard.

"KYAAA! FRAN-CHAN IS SO ADORABLE WHILE SINGING!" Fran was suddenly glomped by Lussuria from behind.

"The kid can sing" Squalo said. Xanxus grunted.

"Can you please let go" Fran said in monotone. Lussuria did so.

Bel was pretty irked.

"Not bad Frog. But the prince is still better" Bel grabbed the mike from Fran's grasp.

"Hey"

"But, there is no one better than me, after all, I am a prince" he flicked his wrist and a tune started playing from the karaoke.

BLOODY BEL ore wa saikou
kiri aji mo zekkou chou kiri saite yukou
BLOODY BEL ouji no ashi oto
kikoete kuru darou nige ba wa naize

shinku ni somaru odori ko wo LIGHT UP
kurutta shi e no MELODY
himei nantemon wa saikou no BGM
Help me Help me Help me
Bloody hell Bloody Heaven BLOODY BEL

BLOODY BEL inochi goi nara
suki na dake sakeba ii dare mo konai sa
BLOODY BEL ouji no karei na
NAIFU to WAIYAA sabaki de himei wo agero

abare tsuzukeru e mono wo LIGHT UP
kurutta shi e no MELODY
tasukete nante saikou no BGM
Help me Help me Help me
Bloody hell Bloody heaven BLOODY BEL "Shishishishishi~"

BLOODY BEL makka na butai ni
owaranai ANKOORU hibiki tsuzukeru
BLOODY BEL ouji no RISAITARU
tomaranai dan matsuma kanade tsuzuke you

odori madou e mono wo LIGHT UP
kurutta shi e no MELODY
kirisaki ouji no saikou no BGM
Help me Help me Help me
Bloody prince Bloody prince BLOODY BEL
Help me Help me Help me
Bloody hell Bloody heaven BLOODY BEL

"Pretty good Belphegor" Squalo commented.

"KYAA! BEL-CHAN IS SO COOL!" Lussuria praised.

"That's because I'm a Prince Shishishi~" Bel set the mike down and returned to his seat.

"Ok, Creepy song plus Creepy Fake Prince-sempai equals I am totally creeped out" Fran said with a straight face.

"Say again little Frog?" Bel raised his knives.

"I said that creepy song plus creepy deranged fake prince-sempai equals total creepyness" Fran said.

Bel felt a vain pop. "You are so getting it frog" Bel then lunged at Fran knife ready to reap.

"Ahhh. I'm being attacked by a psychopath, Help!" Fran screamed in a perfectly monotone voice with an emotionless face as he ran around the living room with an angry Bel close behind.

"Shut up Frog" Bel threw more and more knives at Fran which the latter never really even tries to avoid.

"Oww"

"Alright, I'll sing next" Lussuria announced as he picked up the discarded mike, perfectly ignoring the youngest of the Varia.

Oozora ga kuzure ochita toshitemo
Sekai ga yami ni tsutsumareta toshitemo
Sonna koto wa dou demo ii wa
Watashi ga anata wo mamotte ageru watashi IL SOLE

Koori tsuita kokoro no kizu tokashiteageru
Towa no ai de watashi anata dakishimete ageru
Ai afureru asa wo umu wa anata no tame ni
Akaruku tsuyoku terashiteageru
Atsui hikari anata wo tsutsumi komu

Gyakkyou wo hane kaeso utoshitemo
Akiramezu nando tachiagattekitemo
Sonna koto wa dou demo ii wa
Watashi ga anata ni zetsubou ageru watashi IL SOLE

Kuchihateta tsumetakute ugokanai karada
Kyuukyoku no nikutaibi
Watashi no risou
Onarinasai ima suguni watashi no KOREKUSHON
Teikou wa muda anata mijime ni
Sou hirefusu hirefusu hirefusu no

Koori tsuita kokoro no kizu tokashiteageru
Towa no ai de watashi anata dakishimete ageru

Ai afureru asa wo umu wa anata no tame ni
Anata no tame ni

Akaruku tsuyoku terashiteageru
Atsui hikari anata wo tsutsumi komu

"Wow, Luss-nee-san can sing" Fran commented, clapping his hands.

"ARIGATOU FRAN-CHAN!"

Everyone else stared...

"Saa~ Who's next?" Luss asked

"I GO" Levi stood up and took the mike.

"This one is for Boss" He said.

A tune started playing.

Dengeki de teki wo senmetsu
Sou da ORE ga REVI A TAN da
BOSU kara no shinrai dake wa
Mamori tousu sore ga subete da

ORE no senaka no yattsu no PARABORA wa doko ni nigetemonogashi wa shinai
Raimei todoroku sono isshun de ichigeki hissatsu no REVI BORUTA

"Nee, I'm hungry" said Fran

"Shishishi~ Ne, Luss, can we eat now?"

"Ara, ok, Bel-chan, I'll fix something up"

"Shishishi~ Come on Froggy" Bel said dragging Fran along with him.

"Kero"

"VOOI! I'M COMING TOO" And with that, the Varia members left for the dining room

Levi who was singing his life away, didn't notice.

BOSU no bujoku wa ORE ga yurusan nakama dearouto haijo suru
Saa kono ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi
Sou, yorokobi
Raigekitai hikiite tsubusu
Sore ga donna aite darouto
Hyouteki wa jakusha deattemo
Yousha shinai reitetsu no ishi
Senjin kitte shougai gekiha da shinshutsukibotsu de teki wa azamuku
Dare ni mo jama wa sase wa shinaisa denkousekka de ninmu suikou
Zettai fukujuu kataude toshite BOSU no kitai wa uragiranai
Saa kono ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi
ORE no chii wo obiya kasu yatsu wa dare dearouto kechira shiteyaru
Mou ichido ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi
Sou, yorokobi
ORE no senaka no yattsu no PARABORA wa doko ni nigetemonogashi wa shinai
Raimei todoroku sono isshun de ichigeki hissatsu no REVI BORUTA
Zettai fukujuu kataude toshite BOSU no kitai wa uragiranai
Saa kono ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi
ORE no chii wo obiya kasu yatsu wa dare dearouto kechira shiteyaru
Mou ichido ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi
Sou, yorokobi
Sou, yorokobi

After the song ended, Levi finally noticed.

"HEY! WHERE IS EVERYONE?" he looked around but no one was there...

Except for one person.

"Bossu~" Levi teared up, seeing the mang slouched on his seat.

"You listened" *sniff* TT~TT

"Arigatou Boss" *sniff*

Suddenly, a gun was pointed at his head.

"How dare you..."

"Boss?"

"RUIN MY SLEEP!"

In the Dining Room

"Did any of you hear anything?" asked Fran.

"Shishishi~ What do you mean Froggy?"

"I thought I heard an explosion. Like KABOOM or something" Fran explained, straight faced.

"Probably your imagination Shishishi~"

"VOOI! IS DINNER READY YET?" Squalo asked

"Just be patient Squ-chan, its almost done" Lussuria relpied.

"Shishishi"

In The Living Room

The whole room was full of smoke and debris everywhere and there was a certain mustache man lying face down on the ground a few meters away from where he was before, mumbling "Boss—"

"Hn" was heard from Xanxus as he headed towards the dining room, following the scent of Meat.

"Meat"

And no one ever saw the Karaoke Machine again.

Xanxus - FLAMING RAGE
Squalo - Chinkonka no Ame
Fran - Special Illusion
Bel - Bloody Prince
Lussuria - Il SOLE (Watshi ha Taiyou)
Levi - Raigeki no Levi

Sigh, poor Levi. Apparenlt though, that is cannon. Sorry Levi A Than.

ANYWAYS

I HOPE YOU LEAVE A NICE REVIEW
XD