Vindication and Misconstrued Appreciation

*Author's Note: This was a request for 1Aryana. I hope you like it! Also, this story is from Itachi's perspective so he is the "I" and Iruka is the second person or "you".*

I've become so good at not letting anyone in. No matter how intently people search my dark eyes for answers, they will find none of my emotions or thoughts beneath my retinas. That's why when this connection between us began to take place, I let it. I thought I was safe. I thought I could keep you out. It wasn't until I heard you murmur those three words in that soft, gravely voice you always had after sex that I realized my mistake.

"I love you." you whispered, your breath hot on my flushed skin as your words ghosted over the shell of my ear. I had been so busy making sure not to let you in that I hadn't realized you had let me in, and now that I was there, I didn't want to leave. You had given me your affectionate gestures, your intimate moments, your tender words, but most of all, you had given me your love. I had been so careful not to let you take anything from me that I had failed to realize I had become dependant on what you were giving me.

I was teetering, tottering on the edge of the point of no return. Then I looked into your warm brown eyes, so open, so caring, and I knew that it was already too late. I was already so far past the point of no return that it was just a speck on my horizon.

"I love you too." I muttered, almost too quietly to hear. I flushed in embarrassment when I realized my voice had shaken saying the words. I was unaccustomed to feeling nervous. I was unaccustomed to not being in complete control.

"That's a start." you said as that gentle smile spread across your lips, the one that always turned my insides into a melty goo. A melty goo you would never hear about. I did have some dignity after all.

"That's a good start." and then you were kissing me, and my fingers were twining themselves into your long brown hair. I always liked how your hair looked when it was down, but I especially liked those moments when you would allow me to let your hair down for you. It was intoxicating to pull the elastic band from your pony tail and watch your dark locks fall across the tan skin of your shoulders. In those moments you just looked so relaxed, so trusting of me.

I wasn't used to people's trust. I was used to people dropping into fighting stances at the sight of me, to seeing fear flickering in their eyes, but you never looked unhappy to see me. You always just opened your arms and let me in, let me feel safe and feel like someone else felt safe around me as well. The last time I had been gifted with that kind of blind trust was when my brother had been little. Sasuke had looked up to me, had adored me completely until I had betrayed that trust, until the night that, even now, after all these years, was still stained red in my memory.

Everyone wants to be the hero of their own story, but beneath the dark clouds of that night, I made myself the villain of mine. I had to, to save the village that I loved so deeply, that had always been my home. So I killed off my whole clan, my whole family because it needed to be done. Because I was the only one who could do it. But I couldn't kill Sasuke. He was just a child. He was innocent. He had trusted me. So I made myself a villain in his life too, a villain he could vanquish, a villain who would make him a hero. Sasuke deserved to be the hero of his own story. He deserved to have what I could not.

I opened my eyes, watching your fluttering lids as my lips moved sensuously over yours. I pulled back from you, and your eyes slipped open at the loss of contact. I examined the soft angles of your face and the faint creases that spanned your lips. I slowly reached out to trace the dark scar that segmented your nose and cheeks. I couldn't understand who could've slashed open such caring features, who could've rended the flesh of a face that was capable of such welcoming smiles.

"Why have you never asked me about that night?" I asked. I didn't bother to specify which night. I trusted you to know the one I meant. The calloused tips of my fingers continued to run along the slightly raised flesh of your scar as you replied.

"I never had to. Everyone deserves a second chance. Whatever happened that night, and for whatever reason, you still deserve a chance. You still deserve to be loved, Itachi." You smiled up at me, reaching up to stroke my pale cheek, "Besides, I always knew when you were ready you would tell me yourself." I lightly pecked your lips before rolling off you, curling on my side before reaching out to pull you flush against me and tucking my arm around your exposed chest. I could smell your shampoo. It smelled like vanilla. I inhaled deeply.

"I couldn't kill him." I muttered into the back of your head, my breath shifting the fine strands of your hair with each word, "I was supposed to. I had been ordered to, but I couldn't. He was just a kid. He was my baby brother."

"You love him." you said understandingly, squeezing my hand nestling loosely against your chest, "It's hard to let someone you love hate you. It's hard to be the bad guy. We all want love. We all want to be accepted and cared about. It's hard to throw everything we want like that away. I'm not going to say whether the choices you've made have been right or wrong, but they were hard choices to make, and I know it took strength to make them. You were brave to make them, Itachi."

I didn't feel brave. I felt very afraid, afraid that I would lose someone who could say that to me like you did. How could I keep you when I didn't deserve you? Surely you would realize how much better you were than me. Surely you would leave. I held you tighter against me, pressing my forehead to the back of your head, my fist clenching against the smooth skin of your chest. Sunlight peeps through a crack in the blinds, throwing a thin strip of light across your shoulder.

"It's getting late." you said as you gently squeezed my hand, "Want some breakfast? I could make pancakes." I smiled into your hair, gently brushing a kiss against the back of your neck.

"Yeah, that sounds amazing. Thank you." Someday you would realize you were way too good for me and leave, but until then, I was going to enjoy everything being with you had to offer. Until then I was going to love you as much as this tainted heard could manage. Until then.

*Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed it! Please review with any feedback! Also, I'm taking requests so if anyone has any, just let me know! Thank you!*