"Hello, Gorgeous," Dan said, walking into the living room.
Savannah smiled, and she looked over to Dan. "Hello, Barbara."
"...Who?"
"Barbara Streisand... That's like, her signature phrase."
"Oh... Nice... I sound like a girl."
"Aw, cheer up, buttercup."
"Mommy!" Leilani shouted.
"Whatty!"
"I take baf now!"
"Honey, it's only noon, you don't need a bath. You can take one this evening after dinner. We're gonna go see Grandma today."
"I see Dramma?" Leilani asked, running into the living room.
"Yeah. Go get your shoes and Mommy'll put them on and we'll go."
"Otay."
"She's gonna get big fast," Dan said as Leilani ran out of the room.
"I know," Savannah said, running her hand over her stomach. "I hope this pregnancy goes by fast... I can't wait to finally hold it..."
"You're getting really excited about this baby, aren't you?" Dan asked, sitting next to her.
"Yeah... I mean, Lani's already two... It seems like I held her for the first time just yesterday."
"Well, pretend every time you hold her is the first time."
"I already do. She's just growing up so fast..."
Dan watched Savannah for a few seconds, and when he saw tears filling her eyes, he wrapped his arm around her, kissing her head. "Hey... It'll be alright, Babe... I know it sucks that she's growing up, but think about all the things you have to look forward to."
"What's so great about her growing up?"
"Well, she'll start school in a year or two. She'll have more friends. She'll be more independent. She'll learn new things. When she gets into grade school, she'll have even more friends, be more independent, and learn even more things. Middle school will be the coolest thing in the world when she's eleven, twelve, and thirteen. Then when eighth grade graduation comes around, she'll feel like the world's greatest person ever. High school will be drama filled from fourteen to eighteen, and then when that graduation day comes, she'll see me, her twenty-nine brothers and sisters, and then she'll see you... The woman that made her a woman, and she'll know exactly who to thank for all the love and care she's gotten, and why she became such a strong, beautiful, intelligent, independent young woman."
Savannah let out a rack of sobs and she buried her face into his chest. "I don't want thirty kids, I'll be fat by the time I'm done pushing them out," she said as her voice cracked.
"Well, I'll still love you, no matter what you look like."
"You will not, you liar. All men ever care about is how their woman looks. After this baby, my ass is gonna be huge."
"Hey, I like big butts... and I cannot lie, those other brothers can't deny, when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung," he sang playfully.
"Sir Mix A Lot turned all of you men into chauvinist pigs."
"What's wrong with liking big butts?"
"I don't have one!" she said, sobbing again.
Savannah's melt down earlier in the day scared Dan a little, because he wasn't sure why she was crying. It kind of made him think that he'd done something wrong, and he didn't want to talk about it with Savannah because he thought it would make her mad, so after she took Leilani to her parents' house, he went straight to Marti. They'd been at the bar for just a few minutes now.
"So, what did you wanna talk about?" Marti asked.
"Um... Savannah," Dan said, taking a sip of his drink.
"...What did you do to her, Patch?"
"Nothing. At least, I don't think... She got really emotional today. Like, really emotional. She started crying over nothing. Literally."
"Well, what were you talking about?"
"First, it was about Lani growing up, and then somehow it turned into liking big butts, Sir Mix A Lot, and her not having one."
Marti rolled her eyes. "Did you sing Baby Got Back? That's not something you sing to your crying girlfriend, you idiot."
"Hey, I was trying to lighten the mood."
"By telling her you like big butts, when hers is the size of Pluto."
"Marti, that's mean; Pluto is huge."
"It's the smallest planet in our solar system."
"Yeah..."
"What are you two talking about?" Wanda asked, walking over to their table with a tray of drinks.
"Nothing, Mom," Marti said.
"Oh come on, you can tell me. I won't tell, I promise."
"Yeah, that's what you said last time."
"It's nothing, Wanda; just something with Savannah," Dan said.
"Good going genius, now she's gonna talk to Savannah and ask her if you guys are having intimacy issues."
"I wasn't going to until you brought it up," Wanda said, placing the drinks on the table and sitting in a chair.
"Our intimate life is fine."
"Oh, so you got a little sex addict on your hands, huh?"
"Mom, it's Savannah. She's not addicted to sex," Marti said.
"You never know with the good girls, they always have something about them that shocks the rest of us."
"Our sex life is fine and normal. She's just pregnant," Dan said.
"I knew something was up with her; she never drinks anymore, and she's gettin' that cute little belly."
"Do not tell her she's getting a belly; she'll cry," Marti said.
"That's a little dramatic, don't you think?"
"She's pregnant, Mom; she's emotional."
"Well, send her over to me; I'll talk to her."
"Hell no. You'll scare the poor girl into wanting to give the kid up."
"She already has a baby; she won't give it up."
"She will if you talk to her."
"Fine, don't take my advice. I was only pregnant once," Wanda said, standing up.
"Yeah, twenty-two years ago."
"Marti, I can't handle a crying girl by myself. I don't know how she's going to be when she gets home," Dan said as Wanda left.
"Well, let me get some stuff together and I'll come and stay with you for a day or two. Maybe it's just a burst of emotions. I bet it'll go away in no time."
"Thanks a lot, you just jinxed me."
"Hey, you never know. Maybe she's extra emotional because there's an extra baby in there."
"What? No one said anything about another baby, we barely have room for the one we have and the one we're having."
Marti laughed. "Relax. I'm sure it's not twins."
"Thank goodness..."
"It's probably triplets," she said, making Dan's eyes widen.
Marti let out a small sigh, walking into Dan and Savannah's apartment. Dan had called her about fifteen minutes ago, saying that Savannah was getting sick a lot, and she could tell that he was freaking out about it. She told him she'd be over, and here she was. Helping her best friend with his puking, pregnant girlfriend.
"Dan?" she called out. "Where are you?"
"Bathroom!"
Marti took her jacket off and put it and her purse on the couch, before making her way to the bathroom. Once she saw Savannah leaning over the toilet, clutching onto it, and Dan holding her hair back with his eyes clenched shut, she sighed again. "Dan, it's just morning sickness, you don't have to watch her puke. Get out of my way," she said, moving Dan out of her way.
"If I don't close my eyes, I'll look."
"You're such a baby. Get a washcloth wet, get the thermometer, and go get a big Tupperware bowl and set it by her side of the bed," Marti said, holding Savannah's hair back.
"You must do this a lot."
"Just the first, oh I dunno, whole time she was pregnant at the dorm. Go get that stuff for me and do it now, or I'll let her puke on you."
"No, no. If that happens, I'll get sick."
When Dan left, Marti brought her attention back to Savannah, just when she stopped vomiting. "Are you alright?"
Savannah nodded. "Yeah, I'm just..."
"...If you have to throw up, go ahead, don't hold it back. That's gross."
Savannah's stomach jumped, and she leaned her head over the toilet again, vomiting. Once her blood started gushing from her nose, Marti took the hair tie out of her hair and put it in Savannah's, before grabbing the cup that was by the sink. She filled the cup with water, and she poured a little over Savannah's head, to get her hair wet.
"Just relax, I'm gonna get you cooled down a little. You're overheated," Marti said. "Dan! Hurry up with that stuff, and get back in here!"
"What's wrong?" Dan asked, walking into the bathroom.
"Did you get that other stuff?"
"Yeah, it's in the bedroom."
"Get the bath tub filled up with cold water."
"Uh... Okay. Why?" he asked, walking to the bath tub.
"She's overheated."
"And freezing her will help?"
"A cool bath will get her cooled down faster. She can't even hold herself up, so I'll get her undressed, and then you help me get her in, and get in with her. I'll keep an eye on Lani and try to keep her away from the bathroom."
"Hey wait a minute, I have man parts that don't like the cold water."
"Who's more important; your girlfriend that you have vigorous, hot sex, or your balls?"
"...You're right. Who needs balls, when it's the penis that does all the real work?"
"Oh please, I know you make Savannah do all the heavy work. All that hip rocking, heavy breathing, cursing, moaning your name, screaming orgasms-"
"Do you mind? I'm turned on very easily."
"You have a hand. Use it," she said, helping Savannah taking her shirt off.
"I don't do that, that's gross."
"You used to."
"I have a girlfriend to satisfy my needs now."
"Yeah, I know. Last time I spent the night, I heard you two going at it," she said, getting Savannah's shorts and underwear off.
"You're not supposed to listen."
"I wasn't listening," she said, unclipping and removing Savannah's bra. "I was sleeping. And then I heard 'Oh god, Dan, I'm so close'."
"Shut up, or you'll sleep in our room next time we decide to get freaky."
"I've been in the room when you guys had sex. Kind of amusing. Help me get her in the tub," she said, standing up.
"I'll do it, you go keep Lani busy."
"Mommy! Where doh?" Leilani asked.
"Crap," Marti said.
"Dare Mommy, Mommy I doh swimmin' now?" Leilani asked, appearing at the doorway.
"Uh... Honey, how about me and you go make some banana splits? They'll be really, really yummy."
"No, I doh swimmin'."
Marti opened her mouth to say something, but Savannah started vomiting again, and it startled Leilani, making her flinch and start crying.
"You get in the tub with her after she's finished, and I'll take Lani to the kitchen," Marti said, standing up.
"Alright."
"Come on, Baby," she said, picking up Leilani.
"No, I stay wif Mommy!" Leilani said.
"Mommy's tummy is sick right now, Sweetheart."
"Mommy no be sick, Mommy be better!"
"Shh, calm down. You'll make Mommy upset," Marti said, walking to the kitchen.
"No, I make Mommy better and doh swimmin'!"
"Leilani. Calm down, right now," she said, sitting Leilani on the counter. "Look at me."
"Mommy be better!" Leilani sobbed, with a cough.
"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, Honey; Mommy will be alright. She's gonna take a bath, and then she's gonna feel a lot better. You can see her after she gets out of the bath, okay?"
"But, Mommy no feel dood!"
"I know, Baby, but she'll feel better after her bath, and after you calm down. She can't feel good unless you're feeling good, and if you're crying, she won't feel better, so you have to calm down, okay? Calm down for Mommy, can you do that?" she asked, wiping Leilani's tears from her face.
"Mommy feel better?"
"Only if you calm down. Will you calm down for Mommy so she can feel better?"
"Yeah, I tom down."
"Okay. How 'bout making those banana splits?"
"I no wike nanas."
"Okay, how about ice cream?"
"I no wike ice tweem."
"What on earth have they been teaching you?"
"I no wike teachin'."
Marti laughed a little and she kissed Leilani's cheek lightly. "You're so cute. I want a little girl just like you."
"You have a Wani too?"
"Yeah, I will some day. You know why?"
"Why?"
"Cause you're special."
"I special?"
"Yeah, you're really special."
"Awww, Mawti sweet."
Marti laughed and she hugged Leilani. "Mm, I love you."
"I wove you, too."
"Aw, really?"
"I have to."
"You do? How come?"
"You take me when Mommy and Danny pway dames."
"...Okay, ew. Who told you that?"
"Danny."
"...Figures. Danny's a goofball huh?"
"Mommy say Danny a ses dod."
Marti's eyes widened. "Oh, no no no. We do not repeat 'sex god', you're too young for that."
"I no young, I big durl."
"You're a very big girl, but you are not big enough to talk like that. Mommy should watch her mouth in front of you."
"Danny say Mommy got dood mouf."
"Oh my god... They're totally doing this on purpose. Okay Lani, we're gonna have some macaroni and cheese and watch a movie. What movie do you wanna watch?"
"Danny movie."
"What movie is that?"
"Durls doh wild."
"...Okay, we're watching Chuggington, and Gullah Gullah Island to make you an innocent two-year-old again. And you better not be having thoughts on losing your virginity anytime soon."