Title: Calloused

Author: ghetto_salad

Rating: NC-17 for sex

Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to, I own nothing and no one.

Richard was gone, off with Zedd trying to fill the void with adventure since the underworld had been sealed off for good. It was troubling to Cara for him to leave her here, unattended, sitting across a campfire with Kahlan. Cara didn't care much for the way Kahlan tended to share everything romantic that had happened between her and Richard since they discovered she was no longer able to confess him. Cara had voiced her displeasure, a little too loudly, a little too harshly, and now things were awkward and uncomfortable between them.

Cara grunted to herself and tried to look away from Kahlan's still form, fast asleep on a bedroll no farther than 5 feet away from her. It was her right to be irritated by their love. She had no love of her own; no person to hold or be held by-not that she wanted to be held. Kahlan was rubbing everything in her face in the nicest way possible. She finally had what she wanted, and couldn't help herself.

Cara's traitorous eyes slowly drifted back over Kahlan, watching as her chest rose and fell in slumber. It was in these moments, when she was feeling particularly weak, that she missed her days back in the People's Palace. As she swept her eyes over Kahlan's rising bosom, she let herself think of Dahlia, how they would whisper forbidden words of love to each other when they were young and serving Darken Rahl. Cara sighed; Kahlan was nothing like Dahlia, and if she let herself dare to think further, it was more a relief than anything. Where Dahlia's soul was calloused from abuse, Kahlan's was soft from misuse and innocence. Kahlan rolled over with a soft groan, turning to face the fire whose crackling could be heard in the the silence. As Cara watched, transfixed, she let the familiar feelings of arousal sweep through her. Kahlan was dreaming.

Kahlan felt as if she were surrounded by a swarm of Night Wisps. In her dream, they emitted a soft blue warmth, and her skin tickled as their tiny wings kissed against her skin. They hummed a soft melody, she closed her eyes at the feeling.

"She loves you." They began to whisper in her ears. Her eyes snapped open to the blue glow, confused at what they were now telling her. The words rang true in her mind, and in her confusion, she began to awaken.

"Oh." She said as her blurry eyes began to take in her surroundings. She turned her head to look at Cara, who's green eyes were transfixed to her, a soft expression on her face that Kahlan wouldn't dare to recognize.

"Good. It's your watch." Cara spoke, breaking the silence. Kahlan sheepishly rose from her bed roll, dusting herself off silently. Her dream was still playing through her head, the words the Night Wisps had whispered to her haunting her mind. Cara continued watching her, eye brow raised, as Kahlan got sorted.

"Sleep well?" Cara said as impassively as possible.

"I suppose." Came Kahlan's enigmatic reply.

The day came quicker than expected. Cara laid on her side, squeezing her eyes shut and focusing on other things besides the woman near her until her body and mind was lost to a fitful sleep. Kahlan was troubled by her thoughts, and for her the night passed just as quickly. Cara made an effort to be still for the hour before sunrise; she had woken earlier than she usually did. As soon as the sun was comfortably in the sky she jumped up quickly, not bothering to continue acting as if she'd been fast asleep just a minute before. It made Kahlan smile quietly to herself.

She loves you. Kahlan bit her lip and looked away.

Later, they ate spice soup in silence. Cara had taken her time in preparing it, and it tasted significantly better than Kahlan was used to. While words were not spoken, their eyes betrayed their feelings. Cara would lock on to Kahlan's gaze, just before quickly looking away. Kahlan had suddenly remembered what Cara had said to her just the day before; she remembered how disgusted she sounded when she had told her to stop talking about her and Richard. It perplexed her at the time Cara said it, and hurt her feelings, but now she understood. She understood despite trying so hard not to, all because her dreams had laid it out in no uncertain terms what made the blonde feel that way. Love. Kahlan couldn't eat anymore, wiping her lips with her hand abashed. Cara continued to eat, but ate quickly. She stood, taking Kahlan's bowl and washing both of them out with a small amount of water from the water skins they had in their pack. Kahlan watched these movements with a critical eye, watching the graceful way Cara did everything. Her heart seized in her chest for a moment, taking it in. Cara betrayed the feelings she tried so hard to hide just in the way she tended to everything. She never acted this way around Richard and Zedd. It hurt Kahlan's heart to think any further.

"About yesterday," Cara began, "I'm sorry. I know you and Richard are excited, and I overreacted." The words came out more rehearsed than Cara had planned, and she felt a quick rise of panic that she might be misinterpreted. Kahlan simply smiled, and put her hand on Cara's shoulder. She felt the warmth of Kahlan's hand, and tiny tendrils of electricity ran through her arm.

"It's alright, Cara. All is forgiven." Cara turned to look Kahlan in the eyes, and wasn't expecting the look that was in them. Her gaze was intense and full of passion, and for a silent moment they just looked into each other's eyes, mouths not willing to say what the heart so desired. Cara broke the silence out of habit, with the first words that came to her mind.

"I want to kiss you." She said dumbly. Suddenly her brain caught up with her mouth, and her eyes widened comically, dumbstruck at what she had just said. Kahlan seemed unsurprised, but silently moved her hand from Cara's shoulder to the back of her neck, and without much force, crushed her lips against Cara's.

Kahlan didn't dare think about what she was doing. If she thought, let her mind concentrate on the fact that she was kissing Cara with more passion than she ever had with Richard, she was afraid of what she might do. Their mouths fit perfectly together, much like the little wooden puzzles she played with as a child. Drunkenly her mind flashed back to images of the puzzles-the duck was her favorite, because it was a gift. Cara's tongue swept those thoughts away. Cara bruised her lips with teeth and tongue, before slowly kissing along her jawbone, down to her neck. Kahlan could feel her heartbeat thundering in her ears, pumping blood to an oxygen starved brain. Things were happening too fast to process-strong hands were straying where they never dared before, and soon she felt those hands on her bottom, while a leather covered thigh pushed right where she needed pressure the most.

Cara was acting on impulse, determined with purpose she rarely let herself feel. She could hear Kahlan's unconscious groans and moans of pleasure, and she pulsed with need so urgent she could hardly stand it. Kahlan began to move against her, again probably unconsciously, and Cara leaned her lips just far enough away from the Confessor's heaving bosom to moan in arousal. Cara was one to always push the limits this world had created; there was nothing more forbidden than touching intimately the Mother Confessor.

"Please," Kahlan keened, "Please." Kahlan didn't know who she was begging, Cara or the Creator herself, but the need was urgent, and all encompassing. Cara began to pull at the ties to Kahlan's corset, her fingers numb and shaking from emotion.

What should have been an awkward moment was broken by the sounds of heavy breathing. Their eyes were hungry, almost starved-they needed each other more than they could possibly understand. It was the tension created by a year of searching, a year of silent glances, and secret dreams.

Cara's hands began to draw up Kahlan's confessor dress, and when gloved hands felt smooth flesh, Cara frowned. She wanted to touch her, without the binds of being a Mord-Sith in her way. She quickly drew her gloved hand to her mouth and bit, pulling at the leather until her hand was freed, and Kahlan's hungry eyes found the sight erotic, and moaned to herself quietly. Soon a thigh was replaced with bare fingers, and Kahlan and Cara moved at one together, stepping back until the Confessor's back hit a tree. Cara's other still gloved left hand grabbed Kahlan's thigh and brought it around her hip. The brunette's long legs were soon wrapped around the blonde's body, and at that moment Cara dared to push into the Confessor's folds. Kahlan's head came smacking back against the tree's wood, eyes rolling back lazily. Above them the afternoon sun began to blaze. Kahlan's eyes couldn't focus, her whole mind was wrapping around the fingers gently fucking her.

Cara leaned her head against Kahlan's unbound breasts, taking a nipple into her mouth greedily. Her mind was awash with emotion, feeling Kahlan's slickness against her fingers and feeling all at once as if the universe had given in on her end of the bargain. She had someone to hold, and she was holding her, even if she knew Kahlan could push her away at any moment and go running back to Richard. Her fingers pushed against the upper wall, thumb grazing nerves hidden beneath silken folds, and before either of them could stop themselves, Kahlan went tumbling over the edge. Cara went limp instantly, crumbling to the ground with tears in her eyes.

"Oh gods Cara no!" Kahlan wailed in horror as she went down with her. Kahlan looked utterly debauched, and horrified at what she had just done. She crawled pathetically to Cara's body, and shook her maniacally.

"Kahlan." Cara whispered, opening her eyes.

"Oh, Creator..." Kahlan continued crying, her head laying above Cara's heart, listening to the thundering reassurance of a heart beat.

"I didn't die? I was ready." Cara whispered. The Confessor raised her head, tear filled eyes searching for damage.

She loves you. The words came rushing back to Kahlan, and she jumped back, afraid of what it meant. The words hit a mirror in her mind, and suddenly it dawned on her the feelings that she had struggled so hard to repress.

"I love you, Cara. Oh gods, do I love you." Cara looked up at her, puzzled, and when the words and their meaning were absorbed, she leaned up, and laid her lips softly on the Confessors.

They both looked like a mess, sitting there crumpled on the ground, hugging the life out of each other.

Cara looked out from over Kahlan's shoulder, looking out into the forest all around them. Kahlan soul was far from calloused.