Happy New Year!

"Can we not sit near the window?"

"Why?"

I wince at the bright atmosphere bathing the table, shielding my eyes with my hands. I move my gaze over to the more somber corners of the cafe, where my sorry state would feel much more at home. Azusa follows my eyes, and shakes her head. I feel the need to defend myself:

"Cause I drank-"

"Cause you drank too much last night?" Azusa finishes my excuse for me, offering an unimpressed look. "You don't think I know that? That phone call last night was barely comprehensible."

Right...

I shrug rigidly. "I-I don't know, I can hold my liquor fairly well. Are you sure you're not just exaggerating?"

"Conrad, you were sobbing at one point."

"Oh. Well, point taken."

She sighs, and reluctantly walks to a less illuminated destination; a direction I more than happily follow myself.

This meeting was her idea, if you can't tell already. Well, this location was at least. I was more than happy to discuss my drunken ramblings in much more private location, but Azusa was adamant that she 'sober me up'. I wasn't exactly sure how she managed to slip away from the other girls, but I was more than happy to get some advice before things went down.

The booth we sit in is much less glaring, but right as we get comfortable I realize we had placed ourselves right outside the kitchen. The sounds of clanging plates and silverware bounce around my brain like needles.

"He will take a small coffee; black." Azusa says to a waitress. In my annoyance, I hadn't even realized the woman's arrival.

A plate shatters in the distance.

"There's no escape..." I mutter, now shielding my ears instead of my eyes. The waitress looks at me worriedly, and appears to ask me something; I obviously, cannot hear her.

"Make that a large black coffee." Azusa corrects herself as I rejoin the exchange at her disapproving stare. "And for me..."

Azusa's brow furrows cutely as she stares intently at the menu.

"C-caramel... Macchiato?" She sounds out slowly, before sending an unsure glance at our server. It's returned with a smile, and Azusa lets out a tense sigh.

The waitress takes the unfortunately short walk to the kitchen, and Azusa and I find ourselves together as planned. Despite that this get together was premeditated, it takes a while for either of us to begin talking. Azusa fusses with the contents of her bag, whilst I slowly but decisively sink into my seat. As you might guess, I'm not exactly thrilled to learn what dumb shit I said over the phone last night.

Our drinks arrive, and Azusa's eye's glisten at her sweet, foamy beverage. She soon catches in on my staring, and she returns to her previous no-nonsense attitude.

"Drink your coffee, Conrad." She says, eyes narrowing. I comply, sipping away innocently.

"It's so bitter..." I reply, frowning. I never was much of a fan of coffee; the only times I drank it was when I was with Ritsu, and I was trying to appear mature.

"It's supposed to wake you up. I might as well get you one for the road, while I'm at it." She adds, looking satisfied with herself.

"And why's that?" I ask, reluctantly tasting the hot drink.

"Well, you can't just hide away in dark corners wherever you go." She smiles for a moment before seeing my stoic expression. "The reunion? In an hour? You do remember right?"

I send an unimpressed stare back at the girl. Azusa begins to look worried as I fail to respond.

"C-Conrad?"

"Of course I remember! I'm hungover, not a fuckin' amnesiac!"

Azusa reels back from my outburst.

"W-well, I don't know! I'm surprised you even got out of bed after how you sounded last night!" She defends herself. "By the way, you're WELCOME for the ride home!"

I feel my face flushing. How did such a small girl manage to carry my drunken ass?

I bow my head humbly at her, nearly dipping my nose into my coffee. "T-thanks. So, what exactly happened?"

She fails to reply, leaving an unfortunately awkward gap in my questioning.

"L-look." She eventually begins, her eyes innocently wandering away from mine. "I'll skip the gritty details... for your sake."

I cringe.

"In short, you phoned me in a drunken, depressed mess and begged me desperately to give you Ritsu's number." Azusa continues, crossing her arms.

"Oh god..." I slouch even deeper into my seat.

"B-but I didn't!" She practically shouts. "I mean... you were crying, and shouting... and begging..."

"...it said on my phone that the call was over ten minutes long. You put up with that disaster of a conversation for that long?" I ask. "That's impressive."

"Well, it took a while to figure out where you were; you know, between all the rambling." She answers, sighing. "Then I had to convince you to take you to your old house..."

"Why not my hotel? Why get involved at all?"

Azusa rolls her eyes. "I wasn't about to leave you alone; I'm more responsible than that!"

I suppose she's right. As awkward as meeting up with my parents under those circumstances was, it ended up being a positive and, well, frankly a necessary thing for me to do. I smile at Azusa, and it seems to make her a bit uncomfortable, albeit temporarily.

"You are responsible, and thank god for that." I laugh slightly. "I don't want to think how much a fool I'd have made of myself had I actually gotten ahold of Ritsu."

She shifts a bit in her seat.

"Well... we were all staying in the same hotel, and she was just next door. " Azusa admits, smiling herself. "I was somewhat tempted to give her the phone."

My grin falls off my face, morphing instead to a deadpan stare. "What, for entertainment?"

"N-no! For one, it was way too late to wake her up, and also you were hardly in a state to TALK in the first place, and... and..." Azusa stumbles in her defense, looking up at me.

I raise an eyebrow in confusion. "And?"

"...once I got passed all the slurred words and rough edges, what you were saying was... honest, brutally even." She continues, shrugging. "It sounded like all you wanted to do was lay everything out in front of her and... well, apologize."

I laugh a bit too loudly, and Azusa gets a bit defensive.

"Couldn't have been that inspiring." I let a few more chuckles escape, though noting her annoyance. "Like you said, I was barely comprehensible."

"I-I know it sounds weird, but I... I really feel like it was something that Ritsu needed to hear!" She says, looking way more serious than myself. "But, just in a more sober state."

We share a chuckle at my expense, and Azusa soon gets a bit lost in the sweet taste of her beverage. I stare into my own, honestly trying to recall even a small portion of the prior evening. Well, anything after the liquor started flowing, at least.

"That's great and all, but I have absolutely no idea what I said last night." I eventually admit.

"It can't be that hard... it's all up there, you just gotta be honest!" She smiles, pointing at my head.

"Yeah, well 'up there' is a bit fuzzy at the moment, in case you can't tell." I dismiss her. She seems a bit miffed at my reluctance, and I'm forced to consider my words. I feel guilty, being this much of a brat at my age, especially considering how patient she was being with me.

"I guess... I guess I can still give it a shot." I admit, rubbing my eyes. "These past years have been pretty much nothing BUT regret and introspection. Playing the same conversations over and over in my head, trying to convince myself I still had reason to... try."

"You do!" Azusa assures me.

"Yeah, I think I know that now." I agree, pulling my thoughts away from my glaring headache for once. Instead I settle back into the usual feelings; sadness, lethargy, and of course more and more regret. But amongst all the negativity there WAS hope. It wasn't much, but it was at least something to go on.

"Now that I'm back, I guess I'm finally coming to terms with what I did." I add. "You can't just cut yourself out of people's lives, and hope that everything will just fall back into place. Things get... shaken up. There was a point where I thought I was just some dispensable idiot, getting in everyone's way. But the fact is that I... I do matter. I matter to people, even a lot, and I need to take responsibility for that."

I wait for Azusa to reply, but she just nods. At this point I was basically thinking out loud, but she didn't seem to mind.

"I can't expect anyone to care about me, if I can't even do that for myself. I need to stop treating my relationships in such a... defeatist way. Not just for Ritsu, or my parents, but myself too." I finish, nodding my head in tow.

Azusa smiles, and leans forward.

"I'm glad to hear that. Really, I am." She sighs. "See? I told you it was all up there; just tell Ritsu the same thing, and I'm sure things will work out."

That's some confidence.

"Y-you think?" I ask, surprised. "You know, after all the trouble I've caused everyone, and particularly you with last night's debacle... I'm just surprised you're this positive."

Asuka grins, running her fingers along the rim of her drink. "Well, it's like you said; you matter to her, Conrad. And honestly... with things the way they are with the band, I... I think you really need to be here for Ritsu."

"What does that mean? 'The way things are with the band'? Y'know, excuse my ignorance, but from what I saw in all the news, and videos and blogs and magazines..."

I stop for moment, and take note of Azusa's burgeoning grin.

"Look I had a lot of free time, alright?" I complete my list with a touch of embarrassment. "All I'm saying is things looked like they were going pretty swell for you guys."

Azusa cocks her head and looks almost disappointed.

"I'm surprised! I always figured you for a cynic, Conrad." Azusa adds with a raised brow.

"Well, I mean..." I try to rebut, unsure where she was going with this.

"We have Mrs. Nakamura for a reason." She answers, managing a meager smile. "Her entire job is to make things look swell. The truth isn't nearly as clean and clear as what you see in the media."

I'm not going to say I never thought about that possibility, but I sure as hell never embraced it. The entire point of me going off the grid was to stop holding Ritsu back; for her to reach her dreams. If she was struggling just as much without me, then what the hell was the point?

"So, w-what's wrong?" I ask, though not without a hint of hesitation.

"Well, it's not as if we're not successful. It's just that show business is a lot to deal with at our age. We spend a lot of time away from our families, and the amount of travelling is kind of exhausting. Not to mention we all have practical goals, the budokan aside. " Azusa stops to sigh.

"Who knows if our success will last? We all need to prepare for that possibility, but we just don't have the time! Yui's sister is begging her to go back to school, Mio has a scholarship waiting with her name on it, and Mugi wants to take care of the family business! And Ritsu..."

"Ritsu?"

"...she's not been herself lately." Azusa finishes, frowning. "Not since you came back, anyway. She was butting heads with Nakamura-san all morning, and she cut our photoshoot short by leaving out of nowhere. She seems fed up."

I have to take a moment to regain my composure.

"And... what, you think I can change her?"

"N-no! Of course not!" Azusa replies, looking surprised. "I just think... that you should be here to support her, whatever she ends up deciding."

"Well, I'm sorry Azusa, but that's going to be a bit tough." I confess, before pointing in front of me.

"W-what?"

"Well..." I attempt to explain. "Look. You see this coffee here? I'd like to say I could afford this much, but technically I have less than zero dollars."

"Wait what?" Azusa repeats herself.

"I took out a loan just to pay for my way over here. I can stay until the reunion, but then it's back home to work myself out of the red."

Azusa looks dumbfounded at my admittedly casual delivery. Debt isn't fun, kids!

"Ritsu told me she offered to pay for your ticket!" She shouts, wide-eyed. "Is your pride worth that much?"

I scratch my head and shrug. "Well, I never claimed to be smart. Can't say I'm exactly optimistic about my belonging here in Japan, after my previous attempt."

Azusa seems to want to chew me out, but her frustration turns to silence within a moment. Looking down somberly into her coffee, she fails to meet my gaze. I guess she was expecting a bit more out of me. Hell, after all that talk I made earlier about setting things right, I can blame her for being a bit disappointed in my current state.

"Look, I'll talk to her about things, alright? Try and make sure she's okay." I say, touching Azusa's arm lightly. "I can't guarantee it'll help, but... I'm not going to leave without a word. I'm sure you guys have had enough of that from me anyways." I chuckle.

Azusa smiles brightly; a much more natural expression for her, in my opinion.

"Thank you, Conrad." She says gently, before looking over at her cellphone. "Well time sure flies; are you ready to go?"

Sighing, I chug the rest of my coffee, and put on my best impression of a grin. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Looking at her cellphone, Azusa seems to takes a moment to ponder.

"If we leave now, we should be able to make the next train. It'll take us within walking distance to the restaurant." She explains, getting up.

"Hold on. We? Us? No offence, but I thought the reunion was for people in our grade only..." I say carefully, smiling. "Besides, I didn't take it to be your kind of scene."

Azsua laughs, and blushes ever so slightly.

"W-well... you'd be right, usually. I'm actually someone's date!"

I snicker slightly. "So this was all a ploy to show up with me, huh?"

Azusa's eyes narrow, but soon she smiles too once she notices my restrained laughter.

"A ploy? You mean like... offering to pay for a girls guitar repairs, when the damage was completely her fault? No, I don't think I'm nearly that transparent, Conrad."

"...Touché."

~~~RITSU~~~

"I-I'm here! I've arrived!" I shout, quite louder than intended.

My entrance into the reunion was clumsier than I had imagined. My clothes were sweaty from running, and my hair was disheveled from the wind. All the old friends sitting around the nearby table (some barely recognizable now) stare at me with surprised eyes.

"There you are, Ritsu! Where the heck have you been?" A much more familiar face calls out to me.

Mio motions for me to sit down next to her. To her right were Yui and Mugi, though both barely had time to wave at me with all the talking going on.

On my way towards Mio I have to greet more than a few people. Old classmates that I barely talked to back at Sakuragaoka were suddenly interested in me, to a point where I knew it couldn't just be nostalgia. Seeing my close friends being bombarded by similar attention from all sides confirmed my suspicions.

Sitting down next to Mio, she turns to me with worrying eyes.

"Ritsu, why did you-"

"So the whole band is finally here, huh?" A glasses-wearing boy cuts Mio off, jutting his head towards us, over the numerous appetizers littering the table. He seems familiar, but I struggle to put a name to his face.

"Erm, Tanaka... do you mind giving me a moment to speak with Ritsu?" Mio replies, with her usual nervousness towards conflict.

Tanaka! Conrad's right hand man; the two were barely separable back in school. Did that mean...

"Yeah, Tanaka!" A much shriller voices cuts in, causing Mio to retreat back into her seat. "They're busy people, you know. Besides, if anyone should be talking to them, it's me! I have, like, a bajillion questions!"

The girl's smile, aimed towards me, was a bit much. My facial response is probably much less enthusiastic, despite me trying. This girl was definitely not in our class; what gives?

"But you've already talked to them so much, Momo-chan..." Tanaka mumbles into his beer, while Mio laughs sheepishly. "I just wanted to know if Ritsu knew where Conrad was."

Well, there goes my hope that he was nearby. I was already cutting it close with my arrival time; If Conrad didn't show up soon, I'm really gonna be down in the dumps. He wouldn't run away again, would he?

Tanaka apparently takes note of my sighing, and puts on a contemplative expression.

"I was drinking with him last night, but then I had to leave to see Momoko. I lost my phone, and well... I have no idea if he made it safely back to his hotel." Tanaka explains, looking resigned.

My jaw drops open slightly. "Is there any time you two are together that doesn't involve drinking?"

Tanaka smiles slightly and shrugs. He was always a bit nervous around us.

"Anyway, I have no idea where Conrad is either. That idiot." I add, a bit more solemnly.

"The party has arrived!" A laughing voice, smooth as silk, echoes out from behind me.

The sound levels in the room skyrocket, making me fairly confident about whom the new arrival was. Though I'm not too thrilled about the volume, the fact that the attention was pulled away from the band, even temporarily, was sweet relief.

Yukio touches my shoulder gently, and I'm met with a warm smile as I turn to greet him.

"I have to say I'm a bit surprised to see you here, after you left the photo op in a huff earlier." Yukio chuckled. "Seriously though, I'm glad you made it."

"I-I've been meaning to talk to you about that, Ritsu" Mio adds, leaning in with a whisper.

I sigh, feeling the attention zeroing in on me. A few of the girls, vying for Yukio's attention, begin to glare at me.

If it's not one thing... it's another.

"A bit suspect, coming from the back like that" I reply, narrowing my eyes at him. "You never heard of the front door?"

"First of all, I'm late because I was looking for you, missy." He answers, causing me twinge of guilt. "Secondly, have you been out front lately? There's a crowd of paparazzi starting to form, and you know how I feel about those guys."

Yukio laughs, and a few others join in. Meanwhile, I watch, bewildered as to what was just said. Why can't I escape this crap?

"Paparazzi? Are you fucking kidding me?" I shout, slamming my open palm against the table.

The laughing cuts short for... obvious reasons.

"Didn't we all agree to keep this reunion between us?" I ask to no one in particular.

And no one in particular replies, though as I look in front of me I see that the strange girl from earlier was holding her phone steadily in my direction. She clearly tenses up from my annoyed staring.

"Are... are you filming me?" I ask, confused.

"W-what? Me? No, I-I... I've posted a few photos online but... Okay I might have tagged where we were but..." She excuses herself, smiling ever so slightly.

"Momo-chan..." Tanaka says to her, sighing.

"WHAT, you expect me to NOT take pictures? I won't get a chance like this ever again! It's for posterity; memories! I don't even know why-"

This 'Momoko' girl begins to rant loudly at Tanaka, whose attempts at quieting her down were clearly failing. I take the moment to stand up and begin slipping away from the group, who hopefully were distracted. I need to go see if I can find Conrad; anything's better than being scrutinized left and right.

I try to make my way towards the entrance, but I am almost immediately stalked by Yukio and Mio. Sighing, I pick up the pace but my pursuers do the same. Spinning around to confront them, I almost collide with Yukio, who smiles at me bashfully.

"Sorry. Just... checking to see if you're okay, Ritsu." He says, shrugging. "You've seemed really on edge lately."

Mio nods eagerly. "You're not running away again, are you?"

"No-"

"Just come sit with us, have a drink!"

"No, I-"

"Just forget about what's goin on out there."

"We're all worried about you!"

...

I try to block out the nonstop prodding from my friends, but something within me seems to... snap.

"SHUT UP!" I yell.

Mio shields her ears, and looks at me with scared eyes. Yukio wasn't too far off, reaching to hug me. I back up, avoiding his grasp.

"Just shut up, okay? I... I'm going outside to find Conrad. I'm fucking tired of all this attention." I explain, looking away from Mio. Her hurt expression was tough for me to swallow.

Yukio was still a bit stunned from my shouting, but he manages to get a hold of my sleeve.

"If you don't want attention, I wouldn't recommend going out there... Nakamura is probably still trying to disperse all the paparazzi. She's basically locked the place down."

I bury my face into my hands, producing a noise I wasn't even aware I could make. "What the fuck? When did our little reunion turn into a goddamn VIP gathering?"

Yukio seems a bit stumped. "Well... what can I say, this is show business. You'll get used to it, trust me."

I knock his hand away. "I don't want to get used to this! I just want to play music! Is that so hard to understand? I'm tired of all the media bullshit; having to put on a happy face, even though I'm so goddamned tired and my boyfriend abandoned me because I have no time for anyone anymore! Screw 'show business', I just want things to be how they used to be!"

At some point during this outpouring of stress, I lost complete control. The fact I was ranting loudly about my life problems in front of all my friends, old and new, was enough proof of that. I catch a glimpse of said group of friends, all staring at me. So much for slipping away unnoticed.

"Ritsu..." Mio calls out to me.

"What?"

Turning towards her, I see that her eyes are clearly watering. My stomach twists at the sight, and suddenly my anger gives way to concern.

"We should... break the band up, shouldn't we?" She asks, looking down at the floor.

Cue a spit take, courtesy of Momoko. "W-wait what?!"

For all of that girl's overbearing self, she just took the words right out of my mouth.

The table erupts in sudden chatter, as Yukio pulls Mio and I towards the entrance.

"W-we should be having this discussion a bit more privately, shouldn't we?" He hisses, trying to lower his volume, yet unable to contain his surprise.

Turning the corner, I practically trip over myself trying to turn to face Mio, who looked more than a tad guilty.

"What the heck are you talking about, Mio?" I ask, trying and failing to meet her lowered gaze.

Mio goes to speak, but gets cut off by Yukio attempting to talk himself. Almost automatically, my hand goes to cover his mouth. Mio, sheepish as usually, takes a moment before she starts talking again.

"I-I'm sorry, I just... you've been acting so withdrawn and angry ever since C-Conrad came back. You just want things to be like before... right? Isn't this the best way?" She explains, now at least somewhat composed.

"N-no! Why in the world would we just, throw away everything we've built so far?" I practically shout, throwing my hands in the air. "What about the others? What about the Budokan?"

Yukio nods frantically, still not sure if I'd let him speak. I almost feel like laughing at the sight, were it not for more pressing matters.

"I-Is the Budokan worth you not being happy?" Mio says, after a clearly pained pause. "What good is it then?"

The sight of my friend being so concerned for me is almost bringing me to tears. We had all come so far... was Mio; no, was everyone willing to put the band aside for my sake? This didn't feel right at all. I hug Mio tightly, feeling a bit short on words for... emotional reasons.

"Hold on for a gosh-darn minute now, you two." Yukio butts in finally, clearly feeling a bit left out. "N-now, Mio's right about one thing. This is all about Conrad, okay? Conrad this, Conrad that; we were all fine before that idiot showed up again! Let's all just take a deep breath, and think for a moment about what you are actually considering doing."

Though slightly annoyed, I do indeed take a deep breath and lean against the wall. Was it really just Conrad that was bugging me? No... This is more than that.

"Look Yukio, we're not about to make a kneejerk, life altering decision, okay? I just... I just want to see him before he leaves again. Call it regret, call it stupidity, call it whatever the hell you want, but I'm not about to let Nakamura and those camera wielding dolts outside get between me and the only goddamn guy who ever really 'got' me, okay?!"

Yukio's face knots up at my words, but his hurt expression relents after a while. He starts to walk away, and I can't help but reach out to him. Why am I so stupid?

"I... I get it okay? I'm going to go get him." He says, turning back at me with a broken smile.

"W-wait, I-"

"It's okay, Ritsu. Like you said, you're just tired of all the attention. The last thing you need right now is a bunch of cameras flashing in your face. Me? Well, I'm y'know, used to it." He smiles, now a bit more honestly. "I'll make sure Nakamura lets him in."

Walking towards the front door, my heart sinks.

"Yukio!" I call out.

"Yeah?" He replies without looking, as he puts on his shoes.

"...thank you."

~~~CONRAD~~~

"You got a light?"

"Oh, shit, right..." I chuckle, reaching into my pocket. "Here."

Nakamura takes the well-used lighter from my hands, and I proceed to shove them into my pockets. It was surprisingly chilly for a summer night, especially for Japan.

"You sure you don't want one?" Nakamura asks, prodding me with the box of cigarettes.

I reach almost instinctively, but a sharp cough courtesy of Azusa reels it back. She gives me an unimpressed look, and I just smile.

"I-I'm good. Told myself... told someone I'd quit." I reply, leaning against the cold stone that walled off the bar.

"Good for you." Nakamura says, nonplussed.

A silence falls over our group, which makes the hushed discussions by the nearby paparazzi even more obvious. I'm not entirely sure how we ended up standing together like this, but with me feeling more than a touch anxious about the reunion made the admittedly calm presence of Nakamura decent company.

"So... are we gonna head in, Conrad?" Azusa asks me. She was trying to be polite, but I could clearly tell she was getting impatient at this point. We had been waiting outside with Nakamura for a good five minutes, while we watched some of her security goons guard the door. Azusa had her hood up, and was facing away from the crowd; understandable, really.

"Y-yeah. Just nervous." I admit, shivering slightly from the wind. "Why don't you head in? I'll be right behind you."

"I'm seeing you through that door, Conrad." Azusa replies forcefully, looking at me with distrust.

"Okay, okay... jeez." I laugh, before glancing back at the paparazzi. "They're dedicated, I'll give them that. I don't know what sort of scandalous pictures they're hoping to get though... those girls are usually pretty tame."

"Usually. But after Ritsu stormed out of the photoshoot earlier, it was like they smelt blood in the water or something." Nakamura shrugs. "They're probably hoping she has a public meltdown or something."

"That's brutal."

"That's business."

I can't help but laugh slightly, though I'm not surprised Nakamura doesn't join in.

Azusa seems to get a bit antsy with all the paparazzi talk, and grabs my arm. "Let's go."

"Fine, Fine." I relent, letting her practically pull me towards the entrance.

Nakamura grabs me herself, leaving me practically in a tug of war.

"Hold on, Nakano-san." Nakamura says, causing Azusa to stiffen considerably. "Conrad, remember how I said our discussion yesterday wasn't over?"

"Oh, for fucks sake, not this again." I groan, thinking she had forgotten or at least lost interest. "I'm not leaving Japan tonight, and you can't make me."

"I know full well I can't make you to do anything. I just want to remind you that Ritsu was functioning much better before you came back." She explains expressionless. "All I'm saying is you shouldn't get back together, it's just an unnecessary distraction at this point in her career."

"Well that's fucking cold." I say, feeling a familiar anger. "I don't understand why you-"

"N-Nakamura-san!" Azusa says loudly, her face considerably flushed. "Just... just stay out of this, okay? It's none of your gosh darn business!"

"Woah..." I say, more than a bit surprised at her sudden shouting; even Nakamura seemed taken aback, which is saying something considering her usual stoicism.

"W-what? Can we just get inside please?" She says, now even more red.

"Yeah! Can we?" A new voice cuts through her embarrassment. Turning my head towards it, I see Yukio standing next to Nakamura. Like Azusa, he was shielding his face from the paparazzi's view.

"Why'd you even bother coming to this thing if you were just going to stand outside?" He asks, narrowing his eyes. "Get inside, please. Before I'm noticed."

I can't help but stand in silence for a moment.

"You... you're talking to me?" I ask finally, feeling awkward as hell.

Yukio sighs, slouching slightly. "Yes. Temporarily. For god's sake, Ritsu is practically having a meltdown without you. And YES, before you ask, the fact that I have to do this pisses me the fuck off."

"Do what?" I ask, not exactly sure.

"HELP HER. Do whatever it is you do, I don't know. I might be pissed at you, but if making nice with you helps her, even if it's just for tonight, then I will." He crosses his arms, looking past me more than at me.

"Thanks, Yukio." I say, feeling a bit guilty. "I know you don't like me much but… thanks."

"What can I say, I'm a gentleman." He says, dryly. "Now can we get inside, please?"

"Hold on." Nakamura cuts in again. "You said meltdown, didn't you? Didn't I tell you specifically to avoid that? To keep her happy?"

Yukio rolls his eyes. "And didn't I tell you that I can't guarantee anything? I mean, she's a human being, I can't just wave my hand like a Jedi and expect her to smile."

I laugh loudly, and Yukio clearly restrains a smile. "Anyway…" He begins, taking on a more serious tone. "I heard her and Mio considering breaking up the band; I'm doing my best to prevent that."

Nakano's eyes shoot open. "They're what?" She shouts, attracting the attention of several paparazzo. Suddenly cameras are brandished in our direction.

"Fuck me." Yukio groans. "Let's get inside, now."

As we begin moving, Nakamura grabs me yet again. "You see what is happening right? You're causing all this; you can stop this. You walk in there… and you might end her career."

Her words cause my stomach to twist, and part of me agrees with her. What if I'm really overstepping my boundaries… is my influence so negative that Ritsu is going to throw all of this away? No… if there's anything I've learned coming back here…

I break free from her grasp, quite fed up at this point. "I'm going in there, and I'm talking to her. And if she decides to bring your fancy-fuck show to a grinding halt, it'll be more the fault of your shitty management skills then my dumb ass. I guilt-trip myself enough plenty enough as it is, so I sure as hell don't need your nasty cigarette breath giving me shit too, BITCH."

Yukio pulls me away, and I only catch a brief glimpse of Nakamura's pissed face as I enter the bar.

"If I ever give you credit for anything, Conrad. It'll be for that." Yukio says to me, actually smiling at me for once. "I don't think I've ever seen Nakamura that pissed; Hell, I've never seen that much emotion period!"

I smile widely as we take off our shoes at the entrance, and Yukio seems to remember that just yesterday we were feuding. His smile morphs into a scowl as Azusa excuses herself, probably sensing the tension.

"Just go talk to Ritsu, alright?" He adds, glancing around the corner. "Nakamura's controlling self aside, the last thing I want to see happen is Ritsu make any brash decisions tonight. If you convince her to quit, I swear to god I will hunt you down and punch you yet again."

Even though I can tell he's trying to be serious, I can't help but smile. Yukio might be a piece of work sometimes, but he cares for Ritsu just as much as I do.

"You're a good guy, Yukio." I say, extending my hand. "I'm sorry for being a thorn in your side."

Yukio awkwardly meets my hand for a handshake. "…it's okay. Just don't fucking pull that disappearing act again, okay? It was a goddamn nightmare, and not just for Ritsu."

My heart sinks. "I know. It was selfish… and irresponsible."

"You got that right." He says, pushing me. "Just go, no need to grovel."

I walk into the room, while Yukio gets mobbed by a couple of girls. I see that the alcohol had been flowing in my absence. Everyone was being loud and merry, and barely anyone noticed our entrance.

"Heyyy, it's YOU." A guy calls out to me from one end of the table; it was pretty clear he had been drinking his fair share. "A little rougher, but you are… what was it? Connor? C… Container?"

I take a seat next to him, laughing. "Conrad. You are?"

"Ren. S'not me whose important, anyways. YOU. Dooo you know, my buddy here…"

His friend nods casually at me, looking quite uncomfortable.

"He wanted to join the keionbu in our first year… but he didn't." He stops and burps.

"O-okay?" I reply, not really sure why this man was talking to me. "Why-"

"CAUSE OF YOU. He was scared shitless of you, man!" He says, laughing.

My jaw drops a bit. "Me? Why the hell would anyone be scared of me?"

"Well, there was that incident where you beat the crap out of Yukio." He chuckles.

"I-I didn't beat him up! I just, yknow, picked him up for a bit." I shrug, feeling embarrassed.

"Well, y'hear what yhear… y'know Ritsu told us after you showed up that you used to be a gangbanger or something. We weren't about to mess with that shit." He explains, nudging his friend playfully. His friend doesent seem so amused, nor plastered.

"Christ…" I say, leaning far back. "Fuckin Ritsu…"

"Yess?" She calls out, apparently standing right behind me.

I spin around, surprised as all hell. There she was, looking more beautiful than ever.

"Here I was waiting patiently for you, and I find out that you've been hiding here talking to Ren of all people." She laughs, looking curiously at him. "You guys weren't friends, what gives?"

"I barely had any friends, and Ren is helping explain why that might have been." I say, giving her a playful push. "I'm a gangbanger? That's creative."

Ritsu blushes. "Ohhh… I did spread that around, didn't I. Whoops?"

"Whoops?" I repeat laughing. "That's all you have to say for killing my social life."

"Well given how things turned out, I guess you could say that was my way of… holding you hostage." She chuckles, looking almost proud.

"Well I developed a serious case of Stockholm syndrome, if you know what I'm saying…" I laugh as well, raising my eyebrows.

"Mann… look at you two lovebirds. Are you guys going to, like, a love hotel later or something?" Ren laughs drunkenly, as his friend shakes his head, covering his face in embarrassment.

"W-what? I…" I stumble aloud, looking at Ritsu, who proceeds to smack Ren on the head. "We're not, erm, together anymore." I finish.

"You're NOT?" He asks, looking surprised. "My bad… just the way you guys were looking at each other I-" Ren continues before his mouth is covered by his friend.

"Just go…" His friend shakes his head.

Bowing sheepishly, Ritsu and I make our way over to the other side of the room, where the Keion members were sitting. The first thing I lay eyes on once there, is Yui passed out drunk on Azusa's lap.

"What do we have here?" I smile, looking at an embarrassed Azusa.

"My 'date,' as luck would have it…" She says, looking down at the sleeping girl.

"Isn't it adorable?" Mugi sighs dreamily, clearly having done some drinking herself.

"I suppose that's one way of putting it…" I laugh, sitting down with them. "It's too bad, I guess I won't get a chance to really talk to her before I get back on that plane."

Mio sighs, as she looks over my shoulder. "That might be problematic concerning all of us… look who's coming back from the bathroom."

Looking behind me, I see that Momoko is stumbling towards. Tanaka was strangely absent, and a subsequent checking of my surroundings revealed he was a dejected drunk sitting with his cosplay club friends. I guess this girl might be a bit too much to handle at times…

"Sorry about that girls…" She drawls, flopping awkwardly onto the tatami floor. "Oh hey, the foreign guy is here too. Anywaaaays, about your album… I just want to say…"

Momoko continues on, to no one in particular. Mio and Azusa, being as polite as they are, sheepishly continues to listen without complaint; something that clearly has been going on for some time.

Mugi leans over towards Ritsu and I, and gives us a knowing look.

"You two should… slip away. Get some alone time" She blushes, and not just from the liquor.

"You think?" I say, glancing awkwardly at my ex-girlfriend.

"Oh, Mugi… it's okay, I would hate to abandon everyone after we went to all the trouble of organizing this…" Ritsu says, appearing a bit nervous.

"Ritsu!" Mugi calls out, her eyes practically sparkling. "Grab ahold of your dreams!"

"…How much have you drank?" Ritsu asks smiling?

Mugi giggles. "Enough."

Ritsu goes to reply, but our attentions were wrestled away with a swift slap on the table courtesy of Momoko.

"Whaaaat are you guys talking about? Is it secret idol drama?" She whispers excitedly.

"You know what? Fuck it, let's go." Ritsu grabs my arm, pretending not to hear the girl, clearly exhausted with her antics at this point.

We get up from the table, and begin making our way towards the entrance. Still hovering nearby with his harem, Yukio sticks out an arm to stop Ritsu.

"And where exactly are you two going?" He asks suspiciously, squeezing his way past a couple of old classmates.

"Somewhere quiet, if we have any luck." Ritsu answers, shrugging.

Yukio seems a bit annoyed. "Some quiet time? And just the two of you, hmm? Why didn't you two just save me the heartbreak of seeing this and sneak out the back?"

"That IS a good point…" I admit, suddenly remembering the earlier events. "What are we going to do about the paparazzi?"

"I don't care what those idiots think! Let's just go, who cares?" Ritsu says impatiently.

"Well, wherever you go with a foreign boy, the paparazzi will follow… I learned that the hard way." Yukio reminds her, shaking his head.

"True enough… but even if we head out the back, it'll just seem more suspicious if we do get caught, won't it? Like were hiding something!" Ritsu complains.

Mugi, whom I was unaware was even remotely nearby, sticks her bright blonde head into our conversation.

"I think I have a perfectly suitable solution to this!" She proclaims hapilly, her breath smelling quite boozy. "I'll get you out of here and away in a jiffy!"

"Sounds great, but how?" I ask, both amused and curious.

"Watch this… Mio! Mio come over here!" Mugi calls over to our table, and the aforementioned girl seems more than happy to oblige, leaving Azusa and a passed out Yui alone to deal with Momo's fangirling.

"What's up Mugi?" Mio asks, looking quite relieved.

"Come with me!" Mugi takes Mio's hand, and leads her towards the entrance. Ritsu, Yukio and I follow behind them, alongside a few of Yukio's orbiters. Once there, Mugi starts putting on her shoes and a confused Mio does the same.

"What… what exactly are we doing?" Mio asks, sounding worried.

"We're helping Ricchan!" Mugi replies simply, leading her out the door. "Get ready to go, okay?"

"O-okay?" I answer quizzically. Just what in the world was she planning to do?

As if to answer me, Mugi strides drunkenly yet determinedly towards the paparazzi, with a frantic Mio in tow.

"Hello everyone!" She shouts, forcing all eyes on her, before grabbing Mio's face and planting a sloppy kiss on her lips.

…hold on, that's more than just a kiss. Holy shit…

"Are they MAKING OUT?" Ritsu asks, her mouth agape. The group of paparazzi starts shouting frantically, and the constant flashing of cameras soon follows.

"Y-yes? Jesus Christ!" I shout, bewildered, unable to pry my eyes away.

"Uh, guys?" Yukio says, shaking both of us by the shoulder. "I'm as surprised as you are, but your window of escape wont last forever…or it might? Damn that's a lot of tongue…"

"H-he's right, let's go!" Ritsu agrees, shaking it off, before grabbing my hand and slipping out the door.

As we disappear into the nearby streets, we pass by Nakamura. All I can offer her horrified face is a sheepish shrug, and a wide grin to accompany it.

"You're not drunk. Are you?"

"Nope,; was way too nervous to drink."

"Me too."

Ritsu and I share a laugh, as we take a seat on a bench.

"Good. This is good; I think it's only right we be sober for this…" She says, nodding knowingly.

The anxiety that melted away after Mugi's spectacle earlier was starting to surface again.

"And what exacly is 'this'?" I ask awkwardly, smiling.

"Oh… I don't know." Ritsu admits. "Trying to figure out what happened with you these past couple years?"

I cough awkwardly, and look at my ex. I'm met with serious eyes.

"O-okay. I like that; nice and… direct." I shift in my eat uncomfortably. "Speaking of which, there a reason you didn't ask me this back at my apartment. I figured you'd have some questions after tracking me down like that…"

Ritsu restrains some laughter. "Oh, trust me, I had plenty of questions. But it would've been a bit cruel to expect logical answers after dropping in out of the blue like that, don't you think?"

"Cruel methods for a cruel man… I don't see the problem." I chuckle.

"I just wanted you to have time to think, alright? Besides, it's not like I have no idea why you decided to disappear." She explains, leaning on me.

I stiffen up at the contact. "Ritsu? You okay?"

"I always knew you had bad self-confidence... it's not like you were ever good at hiding it." She continues, ignoring my confusion. "I just... I never thought it was that bad. If I had known what you were thinking about doing I would have dropped everything and convinced you not to; no matter how long it would've taken I swear I would've. But..."

"It was too late?" I complete her sentence, and she simply nods in return.

"W-well, I'm back; thanks to you." I say, attempting to comfort her.

"For now." She replies simply. "I guess tomorrow things will be back to normal, huh? You'll go back to working that crappy job, meanwhile I'll continue being too busy for the ones I love."

Sighing, Ritsu stares out into the mostly empty streets, save for the occasional taxi or stray cat.

"...Maybe. But I'll tell you what, one thing'll change." I reply eventually, putting my arm around her.

"Yeah? What's that?" Ritsu smiles at me.

"I'm gonna start moving. Forward. To what exactly, I-I don't really know but... I'm thinking setting aside some funds for a plane ticket... that'd be a start?" I ramble, avoiding her curious gaze.

"What are you saying Conrad?"

I pause, and finally find the balls to stare her right in the eyes.

"I want to be a part of your life, Ritsu. For good this time." I say, using perhaps the most confident voice I've ever used. "I'm done being a wishy washy, self-hating, withdrawn, idiot. Those days are over. And if it wasn't for you practically dragging me back here to my friends and family, I... I don't think I would've ever realized that."

"Conrad, I-"

"And I know that I've done plenty enough to warrant your suspicion concerning this but... I'm serious." I say squeezing her tightly. "I don't care if you just want to be friends, or whatever. The important thing is that I'm here. For you. For myself."

"You-"

"A-and I know I haven't been exactly faithful, Ritsu... I just felt so guilty and I was trying-"

"What, do you want me sleep with someone too, make it even?" Ritsu says sternly, hitting me in the arm.

"W-w-what?" I stumble out, surprised.

Ritsu starts laughing.

"What? I had to say something to get your attention..." She says, almost doubling over. "You were on a roll there, Conrad, but you have to let me talk too!"

I can feel my face redden. "R-right, Sorry."

Ritsu takes a deep breath.

"If... if you're serious. About changing, and turning things around..." She begins, looking down at the ground. "Well, wouldn't things be easier if the band... you know..."

"Stop right there." I cut her off sternly. "We both know how bad things can get when one of us makes, erm... a brash decision."

"I just..." Ritsu clenches her hands. "I don't want to lose you again, Conrad."

"I-I think both of us are about fed up with being away from each other." I say carefully, squeezing her tightly. "But if you feel like you have to bring yourself down just to accommodate me... then all those fears I had, about being a burden? They'll come true. I'm not letting that happen. No; If I manage to turn things around and be here for you, then by god it'll be by my own willpower."

"Yeah?" She asks, smiling.

"Yeah. ...and maybe a bit of encouragement from my famous best friend along the way." I add sheepishly.

She laughs. "I can do that."

A silence forms, and I retreat the arm around her back to me. Getting up from the bunch, Ritsu stretches heavily before sending me a playful look.

"Welp, now that we got all that sappy crap done with, how about we go drink with our friends? They're probably missing us by now." She says, placing a hand on her hip. "We could even do a drinking game to catch up!"

I fail to respond, unable to do much other than smile at her.

"Who knows, maybe if you beat me, drunk Ritsu will give you the kiss that sober Ritsu has been holding back this whole time!" She adds, winking.

I can't help but laugh. "Making me work for it, huh? Fair enough."

"Ooh, here's an idea... you have to drink every time I remember something stupid you did or said back in high-school!" She says, with a 'eureka' expression.

"You..." I begin uselessly. "Somehow I think you might be tilting this game of yours in your favor."

"I guess you'll just have to get creative..." She says, before walking away. "You're not already losing that willpower of yours, are you Conrad?"

I follow her reluctantly, shaking my head. "Ritsu..."

"Yesss?" She sings playfully.

"I love you."

*** THE END ***