Shameless PWP, folks.

There are a lot of things I know about Vlad. I know he has a cat, I know he stole his fortune, I know he likes to spend his evenings watching people (one family in particular). I even know when his birthday is and his favorite flavor of tea. Now maybe that's a little overkill, but when Vlad Masters is your arch enemy you need to know every minute detail about him. Ya see, Vladdie isn't your run of the mill bad guy. Sure he dabbles in the whole world-domination thing once in a while, but what self-respecting villain doesn't right? No, Vlad's a special brand of baddie because he's actually intelligent. Like, really intelligent. He just doesn't have the best of luck which is why good guys like me usually win.

Back to my original point, though, the guy makes it a weekly habit to break up my family and then spends his free time driving me up a wall. Literally and figuratively. Thus, I've made it a priority of mine to make sure I know how he works. I quickly learned that he's a complicated person who likes to send complicated messages in the hopes of confusing me and working out some devious plot whilst I'm unaware. Naturally, this only required me to get even closer to the fruitloop so I could see through all the bullshit he likes to put up. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line we got a little too close...

Don't get me wrong, he's still the same annoying, persistent fruitloop. Not much has changed between us except for our late night 'excursions.' He attacks my family less though, which is what I'm hoping for. I'm not really sure what he's getting out of it besides the obvious. Probably just a control thing. The fruitloop. Either way, it's not like it's as big a deal as people would think if they knew. I still get on his nerves and he still gets on mine. We just have more creative ways of doing so. And significantly more fun too.

However, that being said, after a long day of ghost fighting I'm not too keen on dealing with said fruitloop. So when I'm standing in the shower, naked and dripping with soap and water, the last thing I want to smell is his damn cologne. Cause that means a) I officially know way too much about the man and b) he's probably right behind me.

Instantly, I whipped around, automatically covering myself and glaring daggers at the empty shower behind me. It was quiet, nothing but the pouring shower head filling the space. I smelled it again, that kind of musky, old spice sent. He was here, I knew it. God I hope he wasn't invisible again. And that's when I heard a cheery whistle coming from beyond the shower curtain.

"...Vlad?"

The whistling stopped.

"Yes Daniel."

"...Why are you in my bathroom?"

"No reason."

A pause. He started whistling again.

God dammit.

I groaned, letting my head hit the wall. I so did not need him here right now.

"Vlad, go away."

"But why would you want me to do that?"

I scoffed, rolling my eyes and glaring at the water dripping down the wall. I didn't even bother answering. He'd just be his usual, difficult self. The soft pitter patter of water was the only sound filling the successfully crowded bathroom. Well, that and Vlad's stupid whistling. I smacked a palm to my forehead. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

"Vlaaaad, please go away! I wanna go to bed!"

"Well then by all means, dear boy, don't let me stop you."

"Oh come on!" I yanked the shower curtain just enough to stick my head through and glare at him. "You know I can't use my ghost powers in the house anymore thanks the new security system!" I hissed, hoping my parents couldn't hear me.

Vlad was situated rather comfortably on the sink. Pure red eyes gleamed at me with a pompous smirk, his relaxed position further irritating me. He was leaning up against the mirror, legs crossed and arms behind his head. It was clear he had no intention of moving anytime soon.

"Well," he began, meeting my eyes and widening his grin, "I certainly have no problems getting past it."

And now he was gloating again. Lucky Vlad here just so happens to be powerful enough to completely hide his ecto-signature from my parents inventions, namely, the security system. This leaves me in a particularly tight spot since Vlad has the rare opportunity to drive me nuts in my own home without getting caught, an opportunity he takes full advantage of.

"You're just pissy cause I won't spend my Labor Day weekend at your mansion!" I hissed.

"And you're just being stubborn. Honestly, we wouldn't have to go through all of this if you'd simply do as I say."

"Fat chance, fruitloop." I narrowed my eyes and slammed the curtain shut, at least as well as one can slam a curtain. Vlad's disembodied chuckle echoed with the pattering water.

"Now what?" I groaned, rubbing my temples. Today's ghost fights were aching around my body, despite the supposed-to-be soothing steam. Needless to say, my pounding skull was not coming up with any good ideas.

"Do you need some help, little badger?"

"You stay the hell away from me."

"I'm just offering a friendly hand. There's no need to be so rude."

Again, I didn't reply. I rubbed my face with both hands, silently pleading to the bathroom god to kick Vlad out. No such luck.

"What do I have to do to get you out of here?" I sighed exasperatedly, reluctantly accepting the fact that I probably wasn't going to bed anytime soon. Maybe he'd go away faster if I just-Suddenly the warm air in the shower was much colder.

"Not scream." Plasmius replied from directly behind me.

I jumped, about to spin around and scream my head off. Vlad interpreted my intentions though, immediately wrapping an arm around my wet torso and slapping a hand over my mouth.

"Mmm!"

"Shhhh..." Vlad licked my ear, the hand wrapped around my torso sliding down my slick body. I tried to kick him and quickly noticed that he was as naked as I was. Well crap. I definitely wasn't going to bed anytime soon.

"Ah ah ah, little badger. We can't get too rough or else someone might hear us."

I kinda hated it when he did this. Only not really and not for the reasons you're thinking. It's complicated. I blame my seventeen year old hormones. Admittedly my heart was currently racing and my lower half was getting a little too hard for my liking, but whatever. Vlad would just call those details. Speaking of Vlad...

"You know, if you had agreed to stay with me this weekend we could be in a much more comfortable setting."

"Hmm mhfm mm."

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Hmm hfmm."

That meant 'fuck you' in hand-covering-mouth.

Vlad's hand traveled down my chest, tickling the skin below my belly button and getting a very obvious reaction out of me. He chuckled.

"Relax, my boy," he smiled, kissing me and furtively moving a hand around back. "You should have known this was coming when you tried to say no to me."

He forced me up against the shower wall, a little squeak slipping past my throat. I felt his lips against my neck again, bitting my shoulder. His free hand danced down my back and I squeezed my eyes shut as Vlad slipped a finger into my entrance.

"Mhm!"

He tilted my head back, kissing and licking the water dripping down my face. I tensed up when he started moving the digit, eyes opening wide for a second before squeezing shut again. I'll never get used to that initial, uh, 'hello' no matter how many times he-

"Hmm!" He slipped another finger in and hot anticipation traveled up my spine, muscle memory automatically thrusting my hips back into his hand.

"Ah, there we go." he grinned, "I think we can let you talk now."

The moment he let my mouth go an aching moan escaped, his scissoring fingers doing more than enough for the heat in my lower body.

"F-fuck Vlad," I panted, moaning and gasping as I moved against his thrusting fingers, "Cou...couldn't you have g-given me a little warning...?"

"Well I thought me suddenly appearing in your shower was warning enough."

"Y-you know what I mean...ba-bastard-Ah!"

A loud moan melted with the steamy water when he started playing with my other private area. Strong fingers wrapped around my pulsing member, rubbing the hot skin. Vlad pushed his fingers inside of me again, simultaneously pumping my cock. I groaned, thrusting my hips into his hand and against the one penetrating my entrance.

"Oh God, Plasmius...w-where'd you learn to...to do that?"

"Hmm," Vlad chuckled lowly behind me, coming close and resting his lips on my ear. "I know everything my boy."

Velvety kisses trailed down from there. Vlad massaged my cock and smoothly pressed his fingers into my entrance. I danced away in a world of pleasure, desire, and hormones, moaning like a wanton whore. Man it felt good.

Vlad moved his hand away from my cock and I made a rather irritated noise to which he laughed at. I twitched when his hand slid up and toyed with my nipples, rolling the hard buds before sliding all over my nude body again. Vlad yanked my head back and orally molested my mouth, quickly melting any and all defiance that may have been lingering. His tongue slid against my own, gaining control and roaming around every crevice. Vlad's hand returned to my cock and I moaned into the kiss, reaching back and grabbing his body.

His fingers left my entrance and I whined shamelessly, sucking on his bottom lip. He grinned into the kiss, moving his hand even slower over my throbbing erection and driving me crazy.

"Fuck Vlad, s-stop teasing!" I gasped, thrusting into his hand.

I yelped when he suddenly pushed me up against the shower wall, pinning me down and tangling his fingers in my hair.

"Consider this payback for denying my invitation, little badger." He purred, lips hovering over my ear.

Then I felt something much thicker than a finger rest against my entrance. I froze, swallowing thickly. But before I had time to utter a sound he pushed himself into my entrance, nothing more than water for lubricate. I gasped and choked by a scream, groaning loudly and hands sliding off the slick walls. Vlad was digging his nails into my hips, gripping my possessively.

"Ah! Enngh-V-Vlaaad!"

"Louder Danny." He groaned, his breathe hot on my skin.

I all but screamed, his burning shaft pressing into my tight entrance. He was panting with the effort to control himself, but I didn't want him to control himself.

"H-hard-er!" I grunted, gasping against the shower wall.

Vlad grabbed my hips and slowly pulled out, making me explode in frustration.

"Dammit Vlad, Fuck me!"

He plunged back in and I moaned like a penthouse porn star. Vlad laughed from behind, fangs bruising my neck and thrusting me against the wall.

"AH! A-Again!" I gasped, one fist clenched around the rag bar and the other clawing at the shower wall.

He pulled out and thrust, groaning in my ear. I pressed back against him, moaning loudly when I felt him grind against my entrance.

"J-Jesus, Vlad-"

He thrust in again and again and I screamed. Vlad smacked his hand over my mouth, but I could just feel him grinning like a maniac.

"Danny! Are you alright in there!" My sister was banging on the door. Ha. Banging.

Me and Vlad froze, which was really really hard to do in the middle of sex. My brain wasn't working, so I just stared in the direction of the door like a deer in the headlights, panting against the wall and trying not to scream in frustration.

"Come on Daniel, answer your sister." Vlad purred from behind me, kissing my neck cruelly and grinding against me.

"A-Ah! D-Dammit!" I groaned, pleasure washing my brian. "Go away Jazz!" I yelled, Vlad pressing himself deeper and cutting my words off with a moan.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Then the bastard started increasing his pace.

"Eengh! I'm...Fine!"

Vlad whispered hot words into my ear, melting all rational thought. He pulled my head back and kissed me roughly, thrusting me into the shower wall.

"Danny!" Jazz pounded on the door again.

"Sonofabitch!" I hissed, groaning, "I'm fine Jazz, go away!"

And if she said anything else I didn't care and I didn't hear her. Vlad reached a hand around and started pumping my cock again, simultaneously thrusting deep into my entrance. I was seeing stars, eyes rolling in the back of my head. Vlad was groaning, biting my shoulder. I panted loudly, moaning and pressing back into each thrust. Oh God I was reaching my limit.

"F-f-faster...V-Vlad..."

He obliged and I moaned loudly, back arching into his thrusts. Blood was pounding in my ears, my stomach painfully tight. I was right on the brink, about to explode from all the pressure building up. Then Vlad forced himself deeper than ever I did.

"AAH!" I screamed, really seeing starts now.

Hot pleasure raced up my spine, setting every nerve on fire with intoxicating heat. Vlad pressed me against his chest, moaning and releasing his climax into my trembling body. I panted and thrust back into him a few more times, riding out the orgasm with whimpering moans. Vlad was still gripping my hips possessively, slowly pressing into me as the fire died down.

I fell against the wall, panting and barely able to stand. Vlad was still right up against me, breathing just as heavily and supporting himself with an arm. I felt him shift a bit and when he pulled out I hissed. Vlad stayed where he was though, his hot breath falling in puffs against the side of my head. I shivered, loving the way he towered over me and loving it even more when he ran a hand down my wet body.

"Now do you remember why you want to take me up on my invitation?" He asked pompously, voice even.

I rolled my eyes, still panting of course. I forced myself to stand straight on jellied legs, stumbling a bit.

"I'll take that as I yes."

And then he was gone.

"What the fuck..." I moaned, sinking to the ground and too dizzy to care about what he was up to next. That is until I heard a distant knock on the front door.

"DANNY!" My Dad screamed up at me, "VLADDIE'S HERE!"

Dammit.