AN: I know, I know this took forever. I'm sorry, I have the attention span of a gold fish and Naruto was just so shiny and new and then there was a family tragedy in real life… Moving on. Thanks to everyone who reviewed on the last update, I love you all and I hope I continue to amuse you as much as I amuse myself.

Anyway, I've had bits and pieces of this written since right after my last update, but the problem was deciding where certain pieces should go and if they were relevant and blah blah blah—these are woes of being a predominantly drabble/one-shot writer I suppose, but I'm trying to stretch my multi-chapter writing muscles and if you all could just stick with me I will try to make this worth your time and I will also be forever grateful.

Also! If you would like to find me on tumblr my name is themotherofexiles.

Disclaimer: I was at Walmart the other day and I tried looking for the rights to Marvel and DC, but unfortunately I had no luck. I'll try Target next time.

Sneaking away is easy when you put microscopic trackers in some of the Avengers most treasured items. He slips one into Steve's slow-as-a-snail, beaten up flip phone because Captain America is as technologically savvy as a blind hamster and refuses to upgrade to a StarkPhone, which would make Tony's life easier with its built in tracking device. Luckily Steve is too trusting of his teammate and he was able to slip a tracker underneath the battery when he was helping the super soldier unfreeze his phone. Bruce and Thor are easy to track because they were the only two Avengers who agreed to take StarkPhones. Bruce needed one because he had no real need while hiding away in the third world and Thor because he was an Asgardian with no real need of a phone until the Avengers.

This left Tony to find a way to slip trackers onto (or into) the Super Spies of the Avengers posse. He slipped the smallest trackers he was able to create into Natasha's stingers and her thin blades when he was upgrading them because she never left her room without at least one of the two weapons. Clint comparably was easier because he always left his Red Bull forgotten on the coffee table when his competitive side got them best of him during his Wii competitions versus Thor. He thought about slipping a tracker into Fury's eye patch, but the chances of him getting away with such a feat were slim to none, so he slipped trackers into Fury's coffee before he slipped out of SHIELD's temporary home base under the guise of visiting the Gotham branch of his company.

Maybe sneaking away wasn't as easy as it seemed, but he is Tony Stark and there is no way he would admit that pulling a fast one on his socially inept teammates was a challenge. Maybe he should have just asked Jarvis to track their whereabouts, but Tony knows for a fact that Jarvis would rat him out in a second because there are certain Avengers (Steve, Natasha, and Bruce) he is sure Jarvis likes more than he likes Tony.

Now, because he only has a couple of hours before the trackers that were slipped into liquids make their way out of some of the Avengers systems, he is making his way across town to Bruce Wayne's penthouse to have a little chat with Gotham's, pointy-eared, Dark Knight.

Ever since Pepper found the Encyclopedia of Bats she has not had any real time to think over the information she has just been made privy to.

After her initial freak out in the library, Pepper entered into the denial stage because there is absolutely no way Bruce Wayne is Batman. For one thing, he really is not all that intelligent and his main pastimes include laying as many women as possible and buying things he really has no business in buying. Most of the time his eyes seem so devoid of any real intelligence that Pepper actually has to convince herself that isn't some big joke and that Bruce Wayne the playboy, heir of the Wayne Enterprises throne, is a real person.

Then she remembers the times she has seen Bruce Wayne outside of the spotlight, when her and Tony have gone to dinner with him and some model/actress/heiress and there are moments when he actually seems like an intelligent human being—fleeting as these moments may be.

Pepper turns her neck left then right cracking her neck as she stares at the line of stock projections that she has been trying to read for the past ten minutes, none of the words or numbers are making it past her eyes due to her distraction.

Say she's willing to entertain the possibility Bruce Wayne is Batman, then what? Call Tony and demand he tell her everything he knows? No, not possible the odds of SHIELD having her cellphone tapped are too high for her to take that chance. She wouldn't want to be the reason SHIELD finds Batman, because she knows what happens when SHIELD sinks its claws into you, you bend to their will or you most likely die in a tragic accident. She may enjoy Coulson's company and she may find Fury entertaining in the way he threatens your life and glares at you with one eye, but that doesn't mean she necessarily trusts them. Not yet.

She'll have to wait to talk to Tony in person, but can she wait until he returns from Gotham? Maybe a trip to Gotham to see how their branch of Stark Industries is going wouldn't be such a bad idea…

Bruce Wayne wakes up to the jolt of someone leaping onto his bed and ruffling his hair, instincts kick in and the offender is thrown from the bed in a blink of an eye.

"Ouch! What the hell you bastard!" Bruce cracks his eyes open enough to peer over the edge of the bed and see Tony Stark sprawled out across his grey accent rugs. "See if I ever visit you again if this is how I'm going to be treated. Its three in the afternoon shouldn't you be awake by now?"

"I really don't get the chance to sleep at night, Tony." Bruce grumbles as he shuts his eyes and leans back into his pillows.

Tony scoffs, "I fight terrorists and super villains and I still can pull myself out of bed before noon."

"Right, last time I checked Pepper had to schedule board meetings after one because she was never sure she could drag you out of bed before then." Bruce sits up, "How did you get in here anyway?"

"The security system in this place isn't all that impressive, Brucie, you might want to get that checked out. Someone may sneak in, find all your secrets—or steal all your coffee, like I'm doing. Plus Alfred isn't here."

"So you break in, brew yourself coffee, and then wake me up? There better be a good reason you're here or I'm throwing you off the balcony." Bruce says in what Tony calls his almost-but-not-quite Batman voice.

"You know, I don't know if you're joking when you say things in that voice." Tony props his hands behind his head, looking more comfortable than he should lying on the floor. "And I'm here because I figured I should give you a rundown of what you're up against, because even if you're absolutely sure you can evade the Avengers I figure you deserve a little more of an advantage. Including me there are six Avengers and Fury the Director of SHIELD. So seven of us makes up the circus act that is the Avengers & Co., not including the sociopath who is married to his taser and watches Supernanny religiously, he is Fury's right hand man. Then there's the crazy chick that is willing to do anything to be Fury's left hand woman."

"I'm shaking with fear," Bruce deadpans.

"You should probably take them a little more seriously." Tony rolls his eyes.

"Fine, but I want coffee before we get into the profiles of what sounds like SHIELD's Most Psychologically Damaged; I mean you're on the team. You know they have some issues if they're willing to work with you." Bruce slides out of bed and skips his usual morning routine, dealing with Tony first thing after he wakes up is enough of a workout as it is.

"So who is Stark's 'old friend' that lives in America's cheeriest city?" Clint asks after he washes down his sandwich with yet another of his horrid energy drinks, he crushes the can after making sure he got every last drop out of it.

"What makes you think I know or care?" Natasha looks up from laptop, twirling a knife skillfully by its hilt around her finger. Her eyes stare pointedly at the crushed can, the color distracting her. "And don't those energy drinks make you shake and mess with your shooting?"

"Well, Nat, you were assigned to watch the man once, and when you get an assignment you make sure you know all there is to know about the subject of the op. Their favorite food, their hopes and dreams, and every person they've talked to since they spoke their first words." Clint smiles and Natasha rolls her eyes before looking back at her screen. As soon as her eyes leave him he tosses the can at her head which she deflects into the trashcan without a second thought. "And the drinks don't make me shake—nice hit by the way."

"It's probably Bruce Wayne, whenever they are in the same city they are seen together." She turns her laptop to face him revealing a picture of Wayne and Stark at some society function or another both wearing tailored suits that probably cost more than the GDP of two small countries. "Wayne, as most people know, was born and raised in Gotham so I feel it is safe to assume he is the old friend Stark is visiting."

"How the hell are those two friends? Tony's, I hate to have to admit this aloud, a genius and Wayne, from what I've seen has the attention span of a gold fish."

Natasha furrows her brows, "That's something I do not know."

"How'd they meet?" Silence is all Clint receives as a response, which tells him more than her words ever could. The smile is a slow one as it spreads across his face and he feigns shock. "There are things you don't know?"

Clint thanks the energy drinks for how alert he is as he dodges the knife aimed at his head.

"So you do realize that by telling me all this that you're going against your team right?" Bruce asks him before taking a sip of his black coffee as he tries to absorb the information Tony just relayed to him.

"You can think of me as a double agent, because I plan to pretend to do research into your alter ego and I will inform them of what I find. I just won't give them anything that may lead to them finding out your true identity."

"Sneaky."

"Well I'm sorry. It's actually kind of difficult for me to help my frie—I mean teammates—hunt down someone I've known since I was a kid. I don't actually know how to play this." Tony sighs taking a sip of his own coffee, wishing it was something quite a bit stronger.

"Maybe if you didn't tell the entire world your true identity, you wouldn't have to deal with this."

"It always comes back to the identity thing with you, doesn't it? Are you secretly jealous of the fact I don't have to hide behind as many masks as you do?"

"No it's because you have an action figure." Bruce deadpans, "Batman is a symbol, I do not regret the cowl."

Tony rings his hands together before checking his watch, "I should probably get going before one of them pisses the tracker out of their system and we have to look over our shoulder to see if there is a Super Spy or a Norse God following my every move."

"What even is your life, Tony?" Bruce asks arching an eyebrow before, palming through his bedhead.

"That's rich coming from you, BatTard." Tony says before walking to the coffee pot and pouring a final cup. It barely lasts a second before he chugs it down without even wincing at the heat, he's done this too many times to feel the burn. "Seriously, I need to get out of here. There was this one time I left Stark Tower without telling them and they all came barreling into this five star restaurant, demanding to know why I didn't inform them I was leaving. Apparently they were afraid I was kidnapped."

"I repeat my last statement. Get out of here, I don't want the Avengers busting through my windows."

"Later, Batsy," Tony salutes as he struts toward the elevator.

"Ciao, Tin Man."

AN: I'm not sure how I feel about this. I know there is not much going on but I hope it is enough to keep you satisfied until I return to school.