Relization

All things happen from result of the choices we make.

Humans are flawed, so sometimes we end up down a road we never saw ourselves being.

Well that is life and sometimes it's not always what it's cracked up to be.

As soon as Meredith threw away the pregnancy test she felt pain. As if things could and would never get better, today had been like a battle. And someone had to go down, in this case it was the beautiful baby the he and Meredith could have had. But when she was screaming watching Derek suppositly die, nothing else mattered she wanted to die. She gave herself up for him. But in the end her precious miricle did.

Seeing Derek go through that and experienceing the heartache of a miscarrige had made her want a life with Derek even more. She never really wanted to be a mother till that day. As she walked through the halls and up to Derek's room this is what she thought about. She brushed her hand over her stomacth and winced. As is there was a gaping hole right through her. But Derek was alive and he was asking for her so she kept on walking.

When she got to him room Derek was awake, when he saw me he managed to crack a smile. "Meredith." he said in a weak voice.

"Derek," she said in a sweet voice then went and held his hand, "please don't ever do that again, it was the worst day of my life."

"Never. I am so sorry dear. I love you Meredith. I could never leave you alone. I am not going to die untill I am 110 years old and in...," he said as his voice gave out.

"My arms. Of course I will, you just need to get better, this is just a bump in the road we will get through this I promise," she said.

Meredith then kissed him on the forehead.

"So it feels like it's been week since I saw you in my office last, the last thing I remember is saying 'kiss me' and you did. I promised you I would live, and I did," Derek said in a calming voice.

"Yes you did... thanks," Meredith said.

"So what happened, I heard some nurse say the killer is dead," Derek said his voice sounded like he was about to break down.

"Yes in the end Richard talked to him and Clark killed himself. But there is a lot the nurses don't even know like Reed and Charles are dead along with a few others. And after we took you into surgury I was instructed I could not watch. So while Jackson assisted and Christina did the surgery, me and April stayed behind a basically cried our eyes out. But then Owen came in and said he was just going in to see how things were going." Meredith then started crying, "a few seconds later I hear a voice, a man I have never heard before. Gary Clark. He was talking about an eye-for-an-eye and how he just wanted you dead, thats when the adreneline kicked in and I got up and I walke..."

Derek then cut her off, "Meredith you did'nt, you could'nt have," he said his tone disbeleiving.

"I did," Meredith said her voice shakey. "I went into the OR and offered myself up, I mean I am like a daughter in Richards eyes, Lexie is my sister, and you are my husband. Then, it all happened at once. Owen ended up shot and you were flat lining. I was a mess, balling my eyes out. Clark then left because you were dead, but then Jackson hooked back your monitior. He was smart, and you were okay. Then I saved Owen and it was over," she said announcing she was done.

Meredith was wondering if she should even tell Derek about their poor baby yet. She decided to hold it off. That was enough news for him...for now.

"Meredith don't ever offer yourself up again. Ever. Okay? It just hurt with you telling the story, I mean with you in the same room as as...him," said Derek worriedly.

"No, I am fine. Don't worry about me. Be worried about your hospital," she said.

"No. Not my hospital. I am done being cheif. Head of Neuro suits me just fine. Richard Webber is back in his game, he saved his hospital today. It was always his hospital never mine. It never suited me, and I barely ever saw you," he said his blue eyes looking directly into hers.

"Okay, well just get better. That's what you need to focus on right now," she said kissing him once again but this time on the lips. It swept the wind right out of her, so much passion. Like they have'nt seen each other in years.

"Thanks," Derek said,"I needed that."

"Knock knock," Christina said walking in the room.

"Christina, thank you. You saved my life," Derek said.

"No problem Derek, you seem to be stable. Vitals strong but recovery could take awhile. You are still weak, it could be weeks up to a few months before you bounce back. But I mean by the looks of what you two were doing you seem to be normal," Christina added with a laugh.

"Thanks Christina. Listen I need to talk to you, I'll be right back Derek," Meredith said as she kissed him on the check closed the door to the room and walked up to the desk with Christina.

"What's going on?"

"I lost the baby. And what's going on with Alex? Lexie just told me he was stable," Meredith said with a heartbreaking tone but trying to sound strong.

"What? Mer? When?" Chrisina asked worried.

"After I was all stressed out, when Derek so called flat lined," Meredith said.

"Oh. I am so sorry Mer. But I mean it's not the end of the world. You two can always make another baby," Christina said with a lot of sorrow in her voice.

"Yeah, well I better get back to Derek," Meredith said as tears made their way down her face. Clearing a new path down her face for about the thousandth time that day.

"Yeah oaky, I'll come see you later. You should come by to see Alex later maybe when Derek is asleep," Christina said patting Meredith on the shoulder.

"Alright," Meredith said as she walked back into Derek's ICU room.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"Oh nothing you need to worry about now. You should get some rest, I'll be here always I promise. I will hold your hand," Meredith said.

"You should get some rest too. Come here," he said as he patted the empty part of the bed.

"Okay you are probably right," Meredith said as she climbed onto the bed. She wrapped her arms loosely around his waist and kissed his shoulder while he kissed her hand. They then fell asleep in each others arms. Which to Meredith and Derek made them both feel a hell of a lot better after all that happened that day.

But then sometimes those choices bring us closer

(Meredith and Derek in bed together)

Create better relationships..better friendships