No Regrets

The good die first

And they whose hearts are as dry as summer dust

Burn to the socket.

-William Wordsworth

She was like me.

Above them all, those pitiful creatures. Those creatures, striving to wipe out my plan, their salvation.

I am their savior. They will never realize that.

I do not regret the things I have done, cold and blood-thirsty as they may seem. They were all for a purpose. A single goal.

Jenova is the true master of the Planet. Why do they not understand?

Why does she not understand?

I stood in the center of the Sleeping Forest, waiting. I knew she would come.

And why.

I had to try to convince her. If not, there was only one alternative.

Death.

I had to persuade her to see the truth.

She stepped into the forest, eyes closed. Her brown hair shone in the sunlight, and her supple body swayed in an unseen rhythm as she took a breath, then exhaled.

"What are you doing?"

Her eyes opened, and she nodded, not at all surprised to see me. "Hello, Sephiroth."

I didn't greet her back. "What are you doing?"

She smiled, and took another breath. "Smell the air. It's filled with the scent of living, growing things."

Although annoyed at these frivolities, I did so. To my surprise, an aroma filled my senses: a rich, earthy fragrance.

"I love that smell," she went on. "Everything's in harmony with each other, as they should be." Her eyes flickered to me, and I sensed a slight challenge, a defiance in those words.

I took a step forward. "Listen, girl. Why-"

"At least call me by name," she interrupted. "It's Aeris."

I nodded. "All right then, Aeris. Why do you do this?"

"So what?" She was trying to evade the question.

"Why are you trying to stop me?"

She looked surprised I should even ask. "Why shouldn't I stop you? The one, most important thing to me is the Planet. I can't have you harm it."

"Most important thing?" A thing smirk curled my lips. "…More important even than your Cloud?"

She held my gaze, though I could see I had struck home. "Yes," she said stoutly. Yet her voice tremored slightly.

I shook my head. "Why do you even bother with him? You and I, Aeris- we deserve better! What have they, or the Planet ever given us? Nothing! We don't have to stand for it anymore!" I clenched my gloved fist as memories of my broken childhood filled my mind. Angrily I shoved them away.

"Are you asking me to join you?" Aeris asked, looking at me strangely.

I flung out an arm. "Why not? Together, with the added force of Jenova, we'd be unstoppable! The world would bow at our knees! Imagine the power!"

"Why do you hunger for power?" Now her voice sounded strange.

"For revenge." My voice was soft, yet forceful. "Revenge against the Planet and all the people in it that made me suffer! Think of it, Aeris. All those times you wished you could get back at them- now it's possible!"

Caught up in my own vision of glory, I hadn't noticed she had come closer. Now I did.

Her green eyes were filled with inexplicable sadness as she looked at me. She was so close I could have killed her right there.

"I am the perfect master of Jenova," I breathed. "Would you turn down such power?"

Instead of answering, she shivered slightly, as though she was cold. "'Master'?" She echoed. "More like victim."

"Victim of what? Becoming the greatest being that's ever walked on this Planet? Eternal life?" I laughed. "How is a being like that a victim?"

"You'll never understand, will you?" Her voice was scarcely more than a whisper. "All the hate, anger you bear…Tell me, Sephiroth. When you think about all you've done, murdering all those people, how do you feel?"

I could feel her eyes boring into me.

"I regret nothing," I said harshly.

She sighed, and her sadness oppressed the suddenly chilly air. "No regrets…" She shook her head. "There's your answer right there. I can't join you. And don't try to stop me either, Sephiroth. The Cetra died for a reason, and I, for one, will make sure their deaths were not in vain." She stepped away from me.

"So be it," I said coldly. "You'll die like the others. And it will be in vain. I gave you a choice, and you wasted it. Jenova will make sure her plan is carried out.

So much like me…

Now, I stand above her, watching, waiting for the right moment.

Cloud resists Jenova, finally flinging his sword away in desperation. Aeris suddenly opens her eyes. She looks up, sees me. She smiles.

Now, Jenova commanded.

I can't move at first. Those eyes transfix me. She knows, she knows what I am about to do. Yet there is no anger, no blame in those eyes.

Only forgiveness.

I leap down, landing silently behind her. With one deft movement, I plunge my sword into her body. She makes no noise, no sound at all. I feel her shudder once, then go limp.

I have done what I had to do.

I look up. Cloud looks back at me, the expression of so-called "rage" on the puppet's face so great it almost makes me laugh.

But I don't.

Instead, I leap away.

She was like me.

…And yet, she was different.

She had a heart.

I have a mission.

No regrets…

Then what is this sudden warm feeling in my eyes?

© August, 2000

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