Decode

By: KellyCRocker59

Chapter One

Wow, it seems like a long time since I've visited this couple. I hope you guys like the AU-ness; I really couldn't get this plot line out of my head. Maybe it's because this is pretty much exactly my predicament, except without any positive events. Oh well, I hope you like this first chapter and please review! :)

Holden had no idea how to perceive the boy sitting across the room from him. The teenager was minding his own business, sitting at his lunch table with his friends, eating his sandwich, and yet Sean frigging Jackson, the star of the football team, kept looking at him. Sean was douche, totally and completely rude to anyone whose pants he wasn't looking to get into. And yet here he was, staring in this oddly intrigued way at Holden, proud president of the Future Business Leaders of America, and member of various other clubs that just weren't cool.

Well, whatever; let Sean stare. He was smoking hot, after all, and Holden wasn't about to pretend that he hadn't fantasized one too many times about the other boy. He returned to the conversation at hand, however, but was constantly watching Sean from his peripheral vision.

A week went by with this same behavior, and finally Holden turned to Sean and just smiled. He smiled as well as he could (which in his opinion was just a bit off-putting), looking right into the football player's eyes. Sean seemed a bit caught off-guard by this, and Holden turned back toward his friends, leaving the other boy to contemplate his reaction.

"It's just a party, Holden; it's no big deal." Kate said, taking a seat on Holden's bed as he dressed as nicely as he could.

"Yeah, but Sean's probably going to be there…"

"You are too self-conscious, you're sexy, Holden. You've liked the boy for three years now, I'm pretty sure you've looked worse."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Holden questioned, spinning toward her.

"It means it's time to go." Kate replied, standing and grabbing Holden's arm, leading him out of his room.

They arrived at the party just as various masses of teenagers were getting crazy. The chaperone-free gathering was being held at the lake, which just made Holden a bit more nervous that he was going to be caught by police in an open area where minors were in possession of alcohol. This was his first party; as a high school senior, he thought it necessary that he eventually attend one before graduation.

Kate immediately hurried over to where various people were dancing, socializing with some girls that Holden recognized as being on the cheerleading squad. Holden was left without a single friend, no one seeming the least bit familiar. He couldn't even spot Sean amongst the crowd. Eventually, however, he spotted a boy on the A.V. club named Kelvin; he was dancing alone to some rap song that Holden didn't know.

"Hey!" Holden said over the loud music.

"Oh, hey Holden; having a good time?" Kelvin asked.

"Well…not exactly. I don't really know anyone."

"Pshh, just start dancing; that's all anyone does at these things. Well, that's always what people start doing. I mean look at Sean Jackson! He's banging at least one of those girls tonight!"

Holden turned toward where Kelvin was now pointing, and noticed several girls grinding madly against Sean. His stomach sunk, and he immediately felt like leaving. However, Kate had driven them and was nowhere in sight, so it seemed that he was stuck in the situation.

"I'm going to go sit down." Holden told Kelvin absentmindedly, not really caring whether or not the other boy followed him.

"Are you sure? The party's just getting started!" Kelvin exclaimed, swigging a beer Holden hadn't realized he was holding.

Holden nodded and walked over to the where the lake found the ground, taking a seat far away from anyone else and watching the water lapping at the pebbles several inches from his feet. He sighed, and checked his phone every few moments as minutes turned into an hour, Kate nowhere in sight when he bothered to turn around.

Soon, the music died down a bit and Holden knew that those who had drunk too much were beginning to regurgitate their beverages.

"Did you stake out the whole shore, or is there some space for company?"

Holden turned at the sound of the deep voice, and found Sean standing behind him, clutching a beer in his hand but nonetheless seeming completely sober as he looked down at the other boy.

"N-No, you can sit down." Holden replied, feeling his heart leaping to his throat and threatening to spill from his mouth.

Sean nodded and took a seat comfortably. Holden noted that he sat closer then he really needed to, but not enough for them to be touching.

"So what was that at lunch the other day?" Sean asked, as silence settled over their piece of the party.

"What do you mean?"
"That crazy smile you gave me; what did it mean?"

Holden turned to look at Sean, who looked right back at him. Holden really wished he hadn't, because now his heart was ricocheting throughout the inside of chest, hindering any coherent thought as Holden looked into the other boy's eyes.

"You're…well, you're always staring at me." Holden replied. "So I decided to respond."

Sean chuckled, a deep sound from his chest that gave Holden chills. He took a sip of his beer, smiling.

"Look, Holden…man, I didn't think this would be so hard. Actually, I never thought I'd do anything about this."

"What?" Holden asked, confusion seeming to aid the process of conversation on his part.

"Some people I've talked to, well, they think you're…you know, that you like guys." Holden had to take a deep breath to keep from hyperventilating, but Sean was speaking again before he could reply. "Is that true?"

Holden was stuck in a very bad place; Kate was the only one that knew the truth about him, and here Sean was, outright asking him?

"Yeah, it's true." Holden said before he brain could even register what he was saying. He felt the aftereffects immediately, throat drying and eyes averting Sean's. There was silence, and then Sean spoke.

"Well…I think I do too."

Holden looked up at him immediately, but now Sean was gazing out at the lake, not wanting to make eye contact.

"At least…well, I like you."

Holden really couldn't believe what was happening. Sean sipped his beer, and then finally turned to look at him.

"Really?" Holden asked, knowing how ridiculous of a reply that was, but his brain just wasn't cooperating.

"Yeah, why else would I tell you something like that?" Sean asked, a bit incredulous.

"Well, sometimes jocks set up jokes and…I don't know, Sean, you're just…why me? I guess that's what I want to know."

"Why not?" He questioned in return. "You're hot as hell. Plus you're smart and nice and stuff. I don't know, I haven't really considered why I like you; I'm still trying to grasp the fact that I like a guy. But…I want to try this; are you in for that?"

Sean's eyes looked simply too vulnerable at that moment, and Holden couldn't take it. Without thinking, he reached out and grasped the hand that Sean didn't have on his beer, the one resting on his raised knee, and took it in his own. Sean didn't even flinch, instead holding Holden's gaze in his, seeming to know the other boy's answer.

"We can't do anything here…how about we take a drive?" Sean asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"That sounds good." Holden replied. Sean stood first and helping Holden up with his free hand, seeming to have an incredible amount of strength in just one arm.

The two boys discreetly left the party, Holden texting Kate that he was okay and would be back soon. His mind was spinning, his heart still performing all forms of acrobatics within his chest as he climbed into Sean's truck. He had no idea what to expect, and he didn't really care.