TITLE: The Bro Code

AUTHOR: Otaku Maiden

SUMMARY: After doing something stupid, Ben calls Kevin for help. Kevin, in turn, calls Cooper, Manny, Pierce and Alan. What started out as an intervention soon evolves into an "educational discussion" between male friends – it's The Bro Code...

RATING: Teen

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ben 10, Ben 10: Alien Force or its affiliated characters. I'm just "borrowing" them from Man of Action.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I got the idea after watching The Bro Code episode of How I Met Your Mother and, out of sheer luck, finding the Bro Code articles from the book (yes, there is a book) online. Ladies, consider this story as a means to break the secret language men (some of you may be offended with some of stuff in the Bro Code)...enjoy!

The Bro Code

Nights like this, Ben believed himself to be incredibly stupid.

After a gruelling week of exams (Ugh! Stupid physics and geography mid-terms just had to be on the same day) and soccer practice, not to forget about endless Plumber missions, Ben was exhausted. Obviously it was due to this exhaustion that made him agree to a 'get-together' at the home of one of his soccer teammates. With zero parent-supervision. Playing stupid party games – said party games leading him to feel like crap and fumbling with his cell phone to call the one person he felt he could depend on.

"What?" A gruff voice muttered on the other end of the phone.

"Kevin?" Ben whispered, his voice sounding somewhat desperate. "Could you pick me up?"

"Ben?" Kevin barked, making the brunet wince at the boom of his voice. "What's wrong...? "

"Just – please pick me up..." Ben whimpered before hanging up.

Without thinking, Kevin left the garage and ran to his car, using his Plumber's badge to locate his distressed friend.

The following morning, after placing a few phone calls, Kevin found himself emptying a pail in the bathroom. 'Man,' Kevin thought, 'Benji can puke like a bulimic! I should talk to his folks about that...' After saying a quick good bye to his mother as she left for work, Kevin re-entered his bedroom where a passed-out Ben laid in his bed. The small body flinched as the sound of the doorbell rang – repeatedly and annoyingly.

"Jeez – don't get your panties bunched up!" Kevin yelled at the culprits as he opened the door. Standing on the other side of the door were Pierce, Manny, Alan and Cooper.

"You said that there was a problem with Ben." Alan said, worried about his friend.

"What...he got himself another litter of alien babies?" Manny snickered. Pierce firmly punched him in the arm, making sure that quills were extended from his knuckles to add extra pain to the reprimand.

"If Ben needs us, we're here." Cooper said. "Where is he and where's Gwen?"

"Ben's asleep in my room and I never called Gwen." Kevin answered. He led the guys to his room where Ben was slowly rousing out of his sleep. "Wakie! Wakie! Sleeping Beauty!" Kevin yelled. Ben winced at the volume that made his head throb with indescribable pain.

"What happened to you?" Pierce asked.

Ben forced himself into a sitting position on the bed. "Let's just say I will never play the alphabet game ever again." He said, trying to stand up, but ended up falling to the floor instead.

"Alphabet game...what's the alphabet game?" Alan asked.

"A really stupid drinking game, where if you answer incorrectly or think too long for an answer, you have to drink a shot of liquor." Pierce answered. The boys in the room stared at Pierce, trying to figure out how he knew about this game. "So, what was the subject of the game? Cars...science terms..."

"Geography..." was Ben's mumbled response. He tried to hold onto the edge of the bed to pull himself up, but continued to fall back on the floor.

"Alright little alky," Kevin said, helping Ben to his feet and dragging him to the living room. He placed Ben on the sofa as the others sat around the room. "What was the alcohol of choice?"

"I don't know...bourbon or somethin' to that effect..." came the whispered response. "All I know is that it was bitter going down and bitter and burning while throwing it up."

Kevin, Pierce and Cooper shook their heads, bewildered that Ben would be stupid enough to get involved in a stupid game. Kevin went to the kitchen and quickly returned to the living room, giving Ben an ice pack to rest on his head.

"Hey! Don't fault the kid." Manny said. "Obviously he was just following The Bro Code."

"Bro Code?" Cooper and Alan asked. This was the first time they have ever heard of such a term. "What's The Bro Code?"

"Seriously?" came Kevin's bewildered response. "You never heard of The Bro Code?"

Ben threw a cushion at Kevin and whimpered, "Shut up, Kevin...my head is killing me..."

"Don't blame me 'cause you followed Bro Code article 2..." Kevin retorted.

"Seriously, rewind to the beginning..." Alan said, trying to gain some attention. "What is The Bro Code?"

Pierce, being the only responsible guy in the room, decided to educate his younger teammates. "The Bro Code is a set of rules that guys follow, a type of acceptable code of conduct between dudes...it's a way to have each other's back."

"And it looks like last night Ben followed the one where a bro can do something stupid as long as the rest of his bros are doing it." Manny said.

"Say what?" Cooper looked at Manny with disbelief.

"I'm not jackin' ya." Manny said. "Take Ben's drinking during the alphabet game – it's the equivalent to the running of the bulls...one dude runs down a street in front of a bunch of bulls, you're yellin' "Dude, come on!", yet when a group of guys do it, it's cool – it gives bros a licence to be stupid."

"Exactly how many articles are there to this Bro Code?" Alan asked.

"'Bout 150..." Kevin answered.

"Don't tell me you're going to lecture me, Cooper and Alan about The Bro Code..." Ben said, pressing the ice pack to his temple.

"Nah...we'll only cover the most important one..." Manny answered.

"And what do you consider as the important one?" Ben pondered.

"Bro Code article 1-" Pierce interjected. "Bros before hoes." He saw the shocked faces staring at him. "Come on, every guy knows you choose a bro over some random chick."

"I'm just surprised to hear you say the word 'ho'." Kevin said, a little shock.

"Hey, that's the wording for the article – I'm just staying true to the Code." Pierce replied.

"What about if you're in a..." Cooper started, not sure how to articulate his next thought.

"In a dating dry-spell and you finally meet a girl?" Kevin finished for him.

"Yeah..." came the awkward reply.

"That would be Bro Code article 110- a bro helps his bro to hit it off with a chick." Ben said, slowly coming out of his alcoholic stupor. It seems as though the ice pack was working. "There are exceptions to that rule, though..."

Cooper and Alan found themselves engrossed with what the older teens were telling them; who knew that there was a code of conduct between male friends to this magnitude?

"Yeah," Pierce added. "Like Bro Code articles 19- Never date a bro's sister or another female relative." At this, Pierce glared daggers at Manny while Ben glared at Kevin. "Article 21- Never hit on a bro's girlfriend...and worst yet article 150- No sex with a bro's ex ."

"That last one sounds basically obvious." Alan stated. "How about breaking up with a girl?"

"That would be Bro Code article 10- a bro will drop whatever he's doing to help a bro dump a chick. There are six sentences you can use with only six words: Maybe try a side salad instead; Cute! You're growing a moustache too!; She looks like a younger you!; I will finance a boob job; Sorry I threw out your shoes and; Your sister let me do that!"

"Manny, that's disgusting!" Ben exclaimed.

"I didn't come up with this stuff...it's in the Code."

Before anyone could say another word, the door opened. Kevin's mother ran towards the kitchen, calling out to her son, "Sorry to interrupt you and your friends, Kevin...but I forgot some important documents for work!" As she re-emerged from the kitchen, holding a file folder in her hand, she said, "I'll be working late tonight, so don't wait up." She quickly ran out of the house, leaving the guys with dropped jaws.

"Dude...your mom is hot!" Alan commented, earning him a hard hit at the back of his head.

"Yo, that's my mother and that's against article 104!" Kevin yelled.

"Umm...a bro's mom is off-limits?" Alan mumbled.

"At least he's learning fast." Manny replied.

"Are there any codes that don't subjugate women?" Cooper asked. Yes, he was a guy, but his mother taught him to treat women with respect. Plus, after hearing eight out of the 150 rules from The Code, he thought some of these articles sounded lame; there has to be one that sounded halfway normal.

A dead silence crept into the room. With Cooper being the intellectual in the group, they knew they had to think of something that sounded like a regular daily occurrence. The older teens found themselves racking their memories, trying to think of a code that they knew that had nothing to do with women (or at least didn't objectify them) besides the second article.

"Article 96- bros shall go camping once a year..." responded Ben.

"That doesn't sound so bad." Cooper said. A low beeping sound was heard, making Cooper pull out his cell phone from his pocket. "I better go guys. My mother's expecting me back home."

"Yeah," Pierce said. "Magister Tennyson would be expecting us back on base."

As Pierce, Cooper, Alan and Manny left, Kevin turned to Ben and said, "You didn't mention the second part of that article..."

"I know," Ben replied. "As if they should know about the part of attempting to start a fire...Like we need more pyromaniacs to contend with..."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, after having this crack-fic on my USB drive for almost a year, I finally finished it! I know it sucks in comparison to my other stories but I figured the female readers of needed an insight of the mind of men (as disgusting as it may seem) and needed something to decipher the secret language of men – kinda like how they try to decipher the language of women (never gonna happen!).

As stated in the story, The Bro Code has 150 articles and can be found at any book store (Barnes & Noble, Chapters/Indigo, etc.)...I just lucked out by finding it online, I just didn't copy the website (stupid me :P). Some are funny and others (like Cooper said) tend to objectify women – either way, it's still somewhat entertaining to read.

I promise that my next story will be much better than this! Until next time...