Goin' through the motions
Stuck inside a silent world
Tryin to bridge a distance
Between where we are and where we were

He doesn't know where to start, and she doesn't tell him anything more than to kiss her. Which he does, because it would be fucking amazing. It's everything a kiss should be. He pulls her close, and she moans into his mouth. He finds himself pushing her up against a wall, and she's pulling at him. One of her hands is knotted securely in his hair, and the other is roaming over his chest. He's pressed up against her hard as a rock, trying to figure out where this was going. His hands stay on her hips. They shouldn't be doing this. Not now its too soon.

Who gives a fuck? Something in him screams, and he's sure it's the part that is getting all the blood. But his brain is shouting at him, telling him to back off, telling him to be wary, to be suspicious. This was Potts! Her tongue darts into his mouth, and he loses his train of thought, focusing more on the war inside his mouth than his head. But when her leg starts to hitch around his waist, flashing lights go off in his head.

He takes a step back, keeping his hands on her hips, while keeping her an arms length away. Both of them are breathing heavy, and Tony is trying to compose himself. He's trying to think, trying to be able to form coherent sentences. No one has ever made him this tongue tied, never shut down his brain by mere proximity before, and this is what scared him in the first place. How could one woman do that to him?

"I think I should be going." He eventually manages to rasp out. He's tired, confused, and aching. Still, when she smiles at him, he feels like he's won a prize. That he has passed some test he wasn't even aware of. She kisses him on the cheek before saying 'Good Night.' She leaves him standing in the entrance, he watches her until the elevator doors close, and he can't see her.

I can see were fading
But we cant go back and we can't go on
You're still the one that i want

It was a good start, a great start really but that's all it was. Just a start. Things seemed to end there. Tony still rarely ever saw Pepper, even when he camped out in her office, she was never in there or barely had time for passing chit chat or banter. She had stopped coming to the home office, and it was like she was trying to avoid him. He didn't know what was going on.

He was sitting in her chair, in her office, spinning it around, and fiddling with her knickknacks. He was trying to keep his hands busy, to burn off some extra energy he had, because sitting in front of a desk for hours on end was never his idea of a good time, but if it gave him even a glimpse of Pepper then he would do it. Sure he might have been pouting about it for a while, he was going to stop that.

His plan was to confront her. But his mind wandered. Is this how she felt when he had avoided her? Or when he tried to push he away? Was she trying to teach him a lesson? Show him what it felt like to be strung along? He didn't like it. He wasn't sure if this was a lesson she was teaching him or if she was just really that busy. He did put her on an emotional roller coaster, and did hurt her. He was trying to make up for that, and she was being petty. This was not the Pepper he knew, and it pissed him off.

They seemed to be stuck in this cycle of childishness forever. Tony wasn't going to delude himself to think that he wasn't childish, but he was working on it. For her. And this was just bull shit, he wanted to be with her, not play games. He wasn't going to allow this to stop them getting back together, he wasn't going to allow her the time apart to think. Because she would think it through, and decide her mother was right, that she shouldn't be with him. That she should move on, go back to fucking Ohio or some other place as backwards and fucked up like that and find someone else.

He wasn't going to let anyone try and take her from him. Not again, not when he's gotten his second chance, when something or someone out there was smiling down upon him. He was going to grab this opportunity and hold on to it. He was not letting go of Potts again.

"Tony?" She asks surprised, and he gets up to kiss her or hug her, something. She bustles on past him, digging for something in her desk.

"Are you really that busy or just trying to avoid me?' He asks her. It is a bitchy, harsh tone, but it gets her to stop what shes doing an actually look at him. He swears it was the first time in months, though its only be a few weeks since their heavy make-out session.

"Did you come here to fight?" She asks, and he can hear how annoyed she is. He doesn't want to fight, and everything leaves him at once.

"I just wanted to see you." He sighs turning out the door before she can say anything.

"This isn't going to work, Tony." She says, as she walks into his living room. He looks up at her, stunned she's even in the house. They haven't talked since their half-argument in her office. She begins to pace around the room, and his eyes follow her. He places the bits of the toaster down on the table, he's taken it apart because he has nothing else to do.

"I mean, there's just so much we have to go over, and I was thinking..."

"That you'd be better off with out me."

She stops and looks at him. He just looks back at her. He's gone over this in his head, and he thinks about it almost all the time. Its always in the back of his head even when he's trying to figure out complex mathematical equations. It's not a new concept. Its something that he admittedly thinks about hourly, and he's gone over all the possible aspects. He's looked at every situation, every possible probability, and the answer remains the same. She probably is better of without him, and it's only a matter of time before she comes to that conclusion. He is suffocating black ash after all, and she should get out before swallowed.

"God, Tony. No." She whispers, and sits down next to him. He's shocked. Utterly dumbfounded, because everything else indicated that this was where she fled, not run into his arms. She pulls his arms around her, and buries her face into the crook of his neck. They sit still for a while, just enjoying the comfort of each other, and Tony pulls her into his lap. He rests his head on top of hers, and he is almost in tears because there is a feeling rising in him he hasn't felt since oh so long ago.

Hope.

Pepper's waiting for him when he gets back from his latest mission. She's eying him, and assessing him. He's come back three days late. He was unconscious for most of that time in the medical ward. He hopes Pepper doesn't know that. He doesn't want her to worry any more than she already does. They still have yet to talk, and he has no idea what she was going to tell him.

"Are you really that busy or are you just ignoring me?" She asks him, and while it's a serious question, he can sense an undertone of playfulness. She gets up walking closer to him, inspecting him. He is glad that he stayed for the medical treatment (even if he didn't really have a say in it), because she looks relaxed and doesn't have to see him covered in blood, with black and blue marks all around him.

"It went longer than expected, unforeseen complications." He murmurs, as she walks up to him invading his personal space. She glares at him, and he wonders what he did wrong in the few seconds it took her to get this close.

"You were gone a long time Tony." She says, exhausted, "We still need to talk, or did you forget?"

"Pep, you are always on my mind, whether I'm here or not."

"Even with all those scantily or latex clad women running around SHIELD?"

"Of course," he tells her. "But I do spend some time imaging you in those suits."

So give me one good reason

"What do you fucking want from me?"

Things had gone from bad to worse in a matter of minutes. It had been a rough day, week, month really. SHIELD called him out of two major take-over meetings, a sort of date with Pepper, and every attempt to talk. They needed to clear the air, go over everything and just let it out, but they didn't have a chance. Either her phone would ring, or his phone would ring, or something would happen and one or both of them would have to go off.

It wasn't working, maybe this was the omen he was waiting for. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, him and Pepper. It was a lost cause, both were hanging on to the wreckage of a sinking ship. They were just too stubborn to see it. He was trying to think ahead, remembering his dreams of kids, a dog, report cards, and Sunday morning breakfast. Would he be there for the birth of his child? Would he put the needs of others before his own family? It's what he was doing now, if Pepper was his only family, and he constantly put the needs of others in front of her.

I will walk away

Could he hang up the suit? Lock it away somewhere? Tell SHIELD he was done, through, and not to call anymore? Would he really let people suffer at the hands of his weapons and technology?

No. There was no way he could do it, and standing there now in the living room, next to the liquor cabinet, it hit him. She would worry about him every night, she would stare, and bite her lip at every bruise, every cut. How long could she keep up being CEO, and nursemaid, and mom? What would they do when she was pregnant, or had a new born? She couldn't be taking care of him like that, and should she have to? Was this just part of the package she would have to accept?

He turned to look at her, after knocking back the whiskey he had poured. He watched her with calculating eyes, she wasn't supposed to be here right now. He wasn't expected back till tomorrow, and usually he would try and surprise her, but not tonight. Not when his demons were running rampant, and uncontrolled, unchecked. He didn't want her to see this. The cracks in his usual facade.

Make my heart stop beating
And I'll forget you

"Tony..." Her voice warned and comforted him. He was trying to kill off the emotion. He did right by her months ago when he pushed her away. Why did he have to go back and play that damn song? Why couldn't he let her have her life? Why did he always have to ruin everything for her. He could stop himself, he could force himself not to feel. Let her walk away, make sure that she wasn't hurt this time, make sure that it ended in a place where she wouldn't cry over him, where she wouldn't love him anymore.

He wondered if he could ever truly forget her. If he could erase her face from his mind, and he was trying to figure out if he could program JARVIS to tamper with his brain, and remove parts of his memory. Preferably if he could just erase the love away, but that would be another part of the brain. She distracts his thought process when she drags him over to the couch.

"Tony, we need to talk."

Convince me that it's over
And I will tell you goodbye

"Is this where you tell me that you've thought about it? That we shouldn't have to force it to work?"

She opens her mouth to say something but he gets up before she can. He goes right back to the liquor cabinet, not even bothering with a glass. He let the bottle slam down, and waited while the silence stretched on.

"Is this you picking a fight again?" She asks quietly.

"No." He says back defeated, "This is me waiting for the day you walk away, when you wake up and realize that this isn't it for you."

"Tony.."

"But you'll have to do a good job of convincing me you don't love me anymore, cause this is it. This-" He frantically gestures between the two of them, "is all that keeps me sane, and alive most days."

"Tony, I..."

"Cause Pep, if it'll make you happy. I'll walk away, I'll say good-bye and that'll be it."

So give me one good reason
And I'll be out of your life

"Tony, I'm not getting ready to walk away from you. I just want to talk about us, to see if this is something we can handle. Something I can handle."

He watches her, she gets up and puts the whiskey away. She places the bottle back, in its order alongside the others, and locks the cabinet. She stands there for a second, before turning to face him, and sighs.

There is just something off, there is something in her manner. She's convinced. He doesn't know what did it, maybe she talked to her mother again, or just came to her senses but she was about to have the talk. The one that ended in 'we can still be friends'. He doesn't want that to happen. Suddenly the fear of screwing up her life is overpowered by the fear of her leaving, not really leaving, being just beyond the realm of his reach. And maybe that was selfish.

But Tony Stark has been called many things, and not one of them was selfless.

"You're gearing up to break it to me easy, huh?" He asks, because she hasn't said anything. She freezes in time. She tries to cover up her mistake, badly, he caught it, he knows. She turns to him, and she looks heartbroken. No, more like she looks worried. She's afraid this is going to send him off the deep end, that he's going to disappear for a week or two, and she's not going to know if he's alive or not.

Maybe he just wouldn't come back.

He feels like a creep. He feels like he's pressuring her to stay.

Tell me that I'm not the one you love
Tell me i was never good enough
I'll give up this fight

"Just say it already."

"What?" She asks. He's just fed up with the cat and mouse. He's pissed off at himself, that he's spent so much time trying to figure out how to play the game he's lost the chance to play. There were two possibilities, they either ended up together or they didn't. He wasn't going to be stuck in the middle, in an in between place anymore. He was pushing forward, whether it was good or bad.

"Virgina," He says, and it startles her. "Tell me that you don't love me, tell me this isn't going to work, you're too good for me, that it's you not me, that in the end can we still be friends?"

"Tony... It just won't work out, if this past week has been any indication."

"I didn't ask if it would work or not, I asked if you love me?"

"Tony...don't."

"Just tell me. Please, just say it, look at me and say it." He yells, the silence more profound after the slight echoes of his voice faded.

"Say it."

I can feel it when I look at you
Baby I know you feel it too
I see it in your eyes

"Come on, Pep. Just say it, it's gotta be easy right?"

He was close now. He had moved, gaining on her. He had her trapped, his hands shooting out to pin her against the cabinet. He was staring at her, he was looking into her very soul. Or at least that's how he felt. He was trying to find something, because he wanted there to be a drop of love in her eyes. That even if she lied, and walked away, he would know. He would know that she really did love him, and that there was something he could take from this. He wanted nothing if not to know how much she loved him.

"I can't.." She whimpered beneath him. "I can't say it. I want to, I want to hate you. But I can't."

Just one good reason
Stop believing

"Then what else is there?" He asks as he wipes tears from beneath her eyes. He's so close he can feel her breath on his lips. His puts his one hand back down, and it moves very obediently back to the cabinet. He is dying to touch her, but he's not going forward with anything till he's sure it won't be a good-bye kiss. She stares at him.

"Tony..."

"Just one good reason why we can't be together, why we won't get over the bumps and obstacles, that's all I want."

"I won't survive if you disappear again, I won't make it if in a few months you break my heart again."

He's silent, because of course Pepper would have a good reason. She would have the best reason, and that's his failing character. He sighs, completely defeated. He got what he wanted his reason. And she's looking at him expectantly, so he moves away from her. She walks over to the couch, and he can already picture it going out the window again.

Give me one good reason
I will walk away.

"So, how is this going to happen then..." He whispers because for once Tony Stark wasn't right, there was just something he can't grasp when it comes to people, relationships. Maybe there were too many variables for even him to do in his head, most likely too many for JARVIS as well. He just doesn't know what steps to take, and it seems like everyone he cares about is going to be taken from him.

He knows that is why he's kept his distance from anyone and anything he really cares about. That is what the crazy lifestyle and drinking were about, pushing that away putting it in the back of his mind so he didn't have to think about it. He doesn't know if he can do that now, if he can push aside everything that Pepper awakened in him, regress all the growth she's inspired.

He doesn't know how to handle this. It's something new. He doesn't like how it feels, he doesn't want to be heart broken or love sick or whatever people called this. It was too complicated to think about, and he just tried to focus on her, and getting through the next few hours without a psychotic break.

Make my heart stop beating
And I'll forget you

"I don't want to...leave. I just don't know if I can be invested in this, Tony. I can't be broken again."

"I can't promise that I'm not ever going to act like an ass again, Pepper. I can't say that its going to be sunshine and ponies, all the time."

"Tony.. that's not what I'm saying."

"Then what? I don't know how to fix the defect that is me, Pep."

"Anthony Edward Stark." He jumps a little, because no one used his full name in years, and its programmed in his brain when the middle name comes out there's trouble. He looks down at her, and he feels like he's towering over her. Like he does all the time, like he used to before. But he doesn't dare move, or breath even.

"You are not a defect, you're not broken. You don't need fixing."

"I do." He whispers, because he's a genius and he can recognize the signs, he knows that he has problems. If he allowed JARVIS to test him, he would probably be diagnosed with a multitude of mental disorders as well. She grabs at his hand trying to pull him down to the couch, but he quickly pulls out of her grasp. More contact would only mean more damage later.

Convince me that it's over
And I will tell you goodbye

"You've convinced me." He says because there is nothing else to say. "Just like I promised, I'll leave you alone."

"Tony, I don't want you to leave me alone."

"Pepper, I'm trying here. Really, but you have to give me something."

"I love you?"

"Is it a question or a statement?" He deadpans, and looks away. He can feel her hands on his face, and she turns his chin to look at her.

"Would you really walk away, just like that?"

"If you wanted me to."

"And I wouldn't find out a week later from Rhodey that no one can contact you or see on E! that you were found dead in your home?"

"No."

So give me one good reason
And I'll be out of your life

He doesn't understand what she is trying to get at. She just ended their thing, relationship if you would so call it.

"No contact? No tabs? No anything?"

"I'll be completely out of your life."

I'll be out of your life

"That is not allowed to happen."

"Of cou- wait, what?" He asks, eye brow arched.

"Tony, I love you. I think that if you left me..." She trails off, and he watches her eyes watch him lick his lips. He didn't realize he did it until he saw her staring, he's fascinated by it.

"You cannot leave me, Tony. Do you understand?"

"Yes, dear." He says half sarcastically, before experimentally licking his lips again.

She notices him watching this time, and she flushes. Her skin turning pink around her neck and ears. Tony can feel his member twitch at the sight of it, and he can't stop himself from rubbing his chin down her neck, to kiss the part of her collar bone sticking out from her shirt. She gasps, and trembles. It drives him wild, he kisses the spot again, and her hands grab at him.

"Tony." He looks up at her. "You can't disappear either."

Then he remembers who he is, and what his main job is and he can't promise that. And it is a good reason not to be with him, and that just ruins everything.

"That's one good reason why you should walk away now, Pep." He whispers to her.

"But there are a million good reasons why I should stay with you."

"Forever?" He asks.

"Forever."