A/N: Relationships go one step at a time /thumbs up

The Look

It really started way too simply for me to be able to really understand what was going on. Just a flicker of our eyes and something happened. A spark of light shot through us both, as though that light were the very life force we fed off of. It was an instantaneous occurrence, something no one else could so much as blink an eye at.

Our eyes both rose from our papers in front of us and something pulled our stares together. He blinked and I followed suit before we broke into soft smirks. But it wasn't our usual friendly look, there was something completely different in the gaze. Something that made my heart jump and made his hand grasping his pencil shake nervously just slightly. We just continued staring until finally he blushed a bit and turned back to his paper as I continued to watch him, seeing his green eyes occasionally flickering up at me through his heavy lashes and his face growing more and more flushed by the minute.

There was somewhat of a heavy tension surrounding us in that moment, it was arid and thick like the blocky lines strewn across my paper in dark coatings of .07 lead. But there was something to be said about how it was. I settled into the moment comfortably, watching the redhead across from me with a smile playing on my lips.

He looked back at me again and matched my expression and I felt that jump in my heart again as his emerald eyes seemed to bore into me. Everything seemed to fall out of my view as the sounds of squeaking desks and scribbling pens faded from my senses.

All I could keep in my focus were those dark, glittering eyes and that upward twist of his pink lips. Something seemingly so simplistic, but things quietly batting away at my psyche for days on end.

The Smile

Things got more complex as time went on even though all we were doing was staring at each other constantly. Day by day our grins towards each other got bigger, while I noticed that his was getting a bit more on the sheepish side as well. His face was turning a more vibrant shade of it's typical reddened hue and his light spray of freckles was methodically starting to disappear into his burning flesh. It was something I had never seen from him before; but I liked it.

His eyes started dancing lightly as we locked gazes time and again, his lips coyly receding up his face and once in a while revealing his perfect, pearl-white teeth. I loved whenever I got to see them, it meant he was especially happy to have caught eyes with me.

I can't deny that I've always been one for loving attention and adoration, but from Kyle, it was nothing but pure glee rising in my chest when I saw that grin. Things started flying through my head whenever we'd get stuck in these little contests, but I tried to beat away my questions and focus merely on what I saw in front of me.

The Touch

Things started getting different between the two of us, I began to notice as time went on. It was actually something that I wasn't too thrilled about but at the same time, I couldn't help but love it.

Our usual weekend affairs went on as usual, hanging out with Stan and Cartman, the four of us watching movies and throwing food at each other like we were still stupid kids. But instead of Kyle and I sitting on opposite ends of Stan's couch as we had in the past, we started sitting next to each other instead. Still a decent amount of space between us but close enough that we could feel the warmth of the other from our positions.

At least that's how we started.

Week by week I could see that we were getting closer to each other. Maybe it was just my imagination, maybe it was merely a coincidence.

Actually by now, I very highly doubt that.

Nonetheless, we continued getting closer to each other until one night we were close enough that our legs rested against each other's. My limb felt as though it were on fire throughout that duration of time and I had to force myself to breathe normally.

Occasionally we would catch each other's eye and he'd instantly catch himself and look away with that smile creeping up his pale face. I purposely shifted so that our bodies pushed in more closely with one another and I could feel him tensing lightly. Stan and Cartman seemed all but oblivious to the obvious intense moment between the two of us and I couldn't help but pity them.

They didn't know what they were missing out on.

The Words

I've never been one to hold words really close to myself. I've always tried to muffle my own so that I don't always run the risk of being judged by everyone who hears me.

But something about the words he blurted out to me that day make me wonder why I haven't found so much meaning in any other phrase. Just a quick 'I like you' followed with his trademark carmine blush makes my stomach tingle every time the moment passes through my head. I can't get enough of the memory.

His fingers playing with each other in anxiety for my response, his green eyes worriedly looking at me and around the room as he become increasingly nervous. It was cute to say the very very least.

That one little phrase completely changed everything between the two of us as we stood about a foot apart and he awaited my answer, starting to shake with his eyes downcast onto the floor.

I knew Kyle way too well. I knew he thought he'd screwed everything up between the two of us. Something about destroying our friendship or some other load of crap he gave me when I asked him one day months beforehand if he was gay for Stan.

Seems I was in the ballpark.

I watched him for a few moments before smirking at the trembling redhead, grabbing him and pulling him into my arms. He froze for a few moments before his body slumped in relief and I held him tighter, resting my head atop his. We stood together quietly in the empty hallway of school like that for who the fuck knows how long.

But it was something that blew my mind as my fingers became twisted in his scarlet hair over time and his breathing turned deep and content against my chest. I've never been one for that whole sappy-lovey-dovey kind of thing...But for Kyle it was different. All I wanted to do was keep holding him in that poorly-air conditioned hall.

When I finally let go of him, my hands still clutching around his slim waist, he gave me that smile again and I swear to God, my heart just fucking melted, trickling down my system and settling into the innards of my toes.

The Kiss

Lip-locking had never exactly been high on my list of things to do. My opinion was that mouths were for talking and a certain other action but that was it. I despised kissing. It felt constricting to my lungs and slobber just isn't really that attractive to me.

But a part of me wanted that kind of moment with Kyle. Just to test it out, I suppose. Maybe he'd hate it with me and we'd be in just the holding hands-type relationship.

We sat on the outskirts of Stark's pond, leaning against some pines in the lush, unattended grass. I was throwing pine cones out towards the pond, sometimes trying to scare the hell out of a bird or other annoying creature. Kyle sat cross-legged beside me, a book in his hand, quietly enduring my childlike stupidity with the tolerance that's just part of his nature.

I have to say, I do love that about him. Otherwise he would've never even considered putting up with me.

We sat quietly for a few minutes before I looked over and found him still entranced in his story, the pale sunlight beaming down on the two of us and making his red hair sparkle in the glow. I really don't know what possessed me to do it, but the next thing I know, my face was flying towards his and I landed a quick peck on his cheek.

His eyes left his book in shock before slowly turning over towards me, his face burning again. I swear to God, everything I do anymore makes the kid blush.

"What...what was that for?" he asked quietly.

I blinked for a moment. I had no idea, actually. But I wanted more. I grabbed his chin in my palms and drew him closer, leaning forward and planting our lips together. He dropped his book in shock as I nearly pulled him into my lap with greed.

I prodded his lips with my tongue before finally being able to slide them apart and thrust into his mouth. Kyle hung there momentarily, unsure of exactly what he should do. Slowly I felt his hands creeping up and grasping my sweatshirt, his face pressing further into mine if only slightly.

We continued swirling our tongues around one another's before finally pulling away slowly with a soft smack of our lips. We stared at each other, his eyes deep and dark and infused with something I'd never seen from him before. It was fucking gorgeous.

I ran my fingers up through his hair, my thumb stroking his cheek bones as I licked my lips, my stomach flipping insanely with the fact that I had just fucking tasted Kyle.

I wanted my second course.

He beat me to it and nearly threw me off balance as I found our mouths pressed together again, his arms wrapping around my neck as I moved my hands down, grabbing at his ass and pulling him forward into my lap. Our breathing was hot and heavy against each other's skin as we continued dancing around with our tongues. I squeezed his ass unabashedly and was rewarded with more fervent kisses from my small boyfriend.

When we finally pulled away, completely wiped of breath and continued staring at each other, I couldn't help but smirk as I watched his glowing face and dark, brimming eyes. All I wanted was to keep touching him, so I kept squeezing his skin and watched him smile embarrassedly before leaning my forehead against his and we took some deep, calming breaths together.

Okay. So maybe kissing wasn't quite as bad as I thought.

The Experiment

Kyle was fairly old fashioned in the fact that he wasn't going to let me plough him into his bed on our first date, but I liked that about him. He had the self-control that I was lacking and besides, they always say that waiting makes things better.

That's what I kept telling myself at least.

But after five months of dating, I'd not even seen his stomach aside from when I'd get lucky and he'd stretch with too short a shirt on. I was fairly desperate for some form of contact besides just our top-of-the-clothes make-out sessions. Anymore, I was trying to get him to go a little further as we played tongue hockey but he apparently just wasn't biting.

I think it was just his nerves, but either way I was kind of annoyed with the way he'd pull away from me whenever our hips just 'happened' to grind up into each other's.

Until one day I guess he decided that I'd been well behaved enough. I pressed him down onto his bed and put our mouths together as I ran my hand up and down his side, feeling the gritty cotton of his t-shirt against my palm and wanting it replaced with the smoothness of his skin. I continued rubbing him atop his clothes before sneakily tracing my fingers down under his shirt and sliding my hand up his chest. He gasped, surprised, as I found his right nipple and rubbed it into a hard little peak. I squeezed it in-between my index finger and my thumb before looping my arm down under his waist and pulling him up slightly.

I straddled over him on my knees, pulling him up further as he clasped onto my shoulders and I pushed our zippers together. I could tell that part of him was saying to get away from me before things got too heavy but I've always held the suspicion that he was just as hormonal as I was that day with the way he was clinging onto me with such strong fingers. I'd moved over and started nibbling on his ear lobe, listening to his shuddery breath echoing in my ear as I continued grinding my hips down onto his, the friction between us immense and new to me. The sparks were stronger than any other time I'd been like this. I was a lot hungrier for his skin.

I nearly arched up in surprise as one of his hands reached down and tentatively grasped at the bulge in my jeans. I released his ear and looked at him in shock, finding his eyes looking just as hungry as I felt.

"How far?" I'd whispered.

He blushed and shrugged, "I...I don't know...," he'd said. I smirked and chuckled, rubbing my crotch against his palm and starting to feel really fucking uncomfortable in my jeans.

I sat up slightly and started pulling his shirt up off his torso. He raised his arms and helped me, staring at me with those deadly emeralds. I stared at his exposed skin for a moment before lunging forward and attacking his collarbone. Kyle cried out and arched up in shock as I dug my teeth into his flesh. I worked my hands down and rubbed over his heated bulge as he cupped me in his hand. I started undoing his zipper when he jerked up and tried to back up away from me.

"N-no, Ken," he stammered, looking around the room and panting, his face filled with guilt. I just backed up and stared at him, still holding him in my arm and watching the pale red marks forming on his neckline. "I'm...I'm sorry, I just can't," he said quietly, looking up at me with his glowing green eyes.

To say the least, I wasn't very happy at that moment.

I sighed and placed him back down onto the bed, sitting against the headboard and watching him sit up and stare down on the covers. "Kenny, I'm really sorry," he mumbled.

"It's fine. You're not ready," I shrugged. I clearly remember wanting a cigarette at that time.

"I...I'm..."

"Nervous," I finished. "You're nervous and it's totally fine. I'll be waiting for you when you're ready," I had said, brushing my hair back and trying like hell to kill the ache in my groin. It wasn't working to well as visions of what could have been filled my head.

He stared at me for awhile, clearly noticing my squirming and winced. "Can...can I try something?"

I blinked at him and shrugged briefly. "Yeah, what?"

He took a deep breath and climbed over to me between my legs, leaning up and kissing me softly. I felt his fingers tracing over my zipper before my jeans slowly started becoming undone. I remember feeling utter shock as his lips pressed harder into mine and I lifted my hips slightly, letting him pull down my jeans and slide my boxers down my thighs and off push them off my legs. He broke off our kiss a bit and leaned our foreheads against each other, looking down at my throbbing cock and grasping it lightly in his slender hand. I let out a breathy moan as he started slowly pumping on me, the fire anew in our eyes as we looked at each other.

He took my lips again as I melted into his touch, shuddering on each firm upstroke of his teasing palm. He rubbed his thumb over my slit and my thighs twitched ever-so-slightly. I nibbled on his bottom lip and moaned as he sped up just a bit before he pulled away from me slowly, blushing nervously.

He sat on the side of his legs and I watched in astonishment as he moved his head down to my pulsing skin and lightly kissed the head. My eyes rolled back slightly as he started sliding me into his mouth, his tongue coating the underside of my dick in his warm spit as he inched his way down. He took me in about halfway, still pumping on the base of my shaft as he started bobbing his head sensually, hollowing his cheeks around me and taking heavy breaths through his nose as he worked.

"Fuck, Ky," I'd breathed out, watching his red hair bobbing atop my lap and gently threading my fingers through the luscious curls. I bit my lip and leaned my head back against the board, watching him through half-lidded eyes as he continued on. He gently cupped my balls in his free hand and massaged them lightly in his palm and I let out a shuddery breath, swallowing the lingering air in my mouth.

I pushed down on his head just slightly and he choked a bit around me. He pulled off and coughed, still pumping on me but shaking his head. "Don't do that," he said quietly, staring at the side of the room. I winced guiltily about to apologize before he took me back into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks harder and pumping on me faster. He dove his head down further and deep-throated me all that he could. I twisted my fingers deeper into his silk strands, my mouth agape as I moaned. I could feel him lapping up the pre-cum leaking out of my cock and breathing heavier around me.

"Holy shit," I gasped out inaudibly as he stopped running his hand along my shaft, cupping my balls once again and diving his head down around me. I could feel my cock smacking into the back of his throat and groaned. "Oh fuck, Kyle," I said through gritted teeth. I creaked open one eyes and looked down on his moving head, watching as he tilted his chin up and shot his jade eyes up towards me, grabbing my cock and rapidly pumping on me again, running his tongue over my silt with his eyes locked into mine.

I clenched my fingers into his hair as I started nearing my edge. I shut my eyes briefly, reopening them to see his eyes still trained up at me. The feeling of his hand still jerking my skin and the sight of his hungry pink tongue and lustful eyes send me spiraling over the edge in no time, my hips jerking up as I came, Kyle clamping his mouth down around me and milking me for all I was worth. My eyes fluttered as my body finally calmed down a bit, my thighs still twitching as Kyle drank up what he could, pulling off of me and swallowing, shuddering in the taste and sticking his tongue out in disgust.

I watched him amusedly for a moment before grabbing him around the waist and pulling him on top of me, smashing our mouths together and tasting myself along his tongue. I pulled back and licked my lips, rubbing his neck with my hand softly as he looked at me embarrassedly. I just laughed and kissed him again, our noses rubbing against one another softly.

"How long have you wanted to try that?" I whispered with a grin against him.

He smiled back shyly, "Does it really matter?"

I snorted and ran my fingers up through his hair, grabbing a strand and twisting it around my digit lovingly. "Guess not," I said quietly, watching him still blushing and leaning down to place his head on my shoulder after climbing to the side of my legs. He stayed against me, taking deep breaths and tracing the stitching pattern of his bedspread thoughtlessly. I continued coming down from my euphoric state and into a completely different one. The atmosphere around us was something entirely new; new doors were opened and new opportunities were waiting for us.

If I could just be patient with him.

The Intimacy

Seven months, four days, six hours.

That's all I had to wait for.

Looking back, it seems as if that time was nothing more than a blur of my subconscious. A wonderful, happiest-moments-of-my-pathetic-life blur. But during the time being...well...I guess it's fairly obvious patience was never my niche.

But Kyle was and he taught me that there are benefits to patience. He just wanted to wait for his own personal reasons; he wanted to make sure that this wasn't just a trick for me to get into his pants or something, which when he first told me this, it hurt like a bitch. But then again I guess I kind of understand his point.

I did have a bit of a reputation.

But soon enough, I found us lying together atop my worn mattress half-clothed, only our boxers covering us and furiously making out with each other. Kyle lied under me, his arms around my neck and arching his naked chest up against mine. I ground our throbbing cocks against one another parted by such thin fabric I could practically feel the veins of his member against my own.

"Kyle," I panted, leaning down and biting his neck. "I want you," I said desperately. I had never wanted anyone so fucking much as I had wanted Kyle. Every fiber of my being was burning with anxiety and the need for contact with him.

I pulled back and found his expression slightly tensed and nervous but more needy than I'd seen from him before. "I'm yours," he whispered, his lip quivering slightly. My heart stopped at those words and we stared at each other as time seemed to stand still before I dove back down and kissed him forcefully.

I wasn't wasting anymore time with him.

I stroked his bulge beneath his boxers with my open palm, openly kissing down his chest and towards his covered cock. I kissed him through his underwear, suckling on the cloth and making him tremble as I undid the buttons with my teeth. I opened them up and his erection started poking through and I lifted it through with my tongue before diving my head down around him. He moaned shakily, and I could see him watching me intently as I flickered my eyes towards his. I rubbed myself through my boxers, feeling my cock twitch each time my tongue passed through the delicious taste of his pre-cum dancing across my palate.

I got him fully erect before backing off of him slowly with a pop. I looked down at him from my knees, his fists curled lightly above his head and staring back at me, waiting nervously for me to say something. Instead I smirked at him and hooked my fingers under his waistband, slowly dragging the cloth down over his cock and down his silky-smooth legs. I tossed the underwear aside and looked down at my frail boyfriend with a feeling of starvation crossing over my stomach. I took my finger and traced from atop his chest down his flat stomach and hips, trailing up his cock and dabbing my fingertip in the slight trace of cum leaking from him. I licked it off my digit as he watched me, biting his lip in anxiety.

I smiled and pulled off my own boxers, throwing them down beside his. I reached over into my nightstand drawer and pulled out a bottle of lube I had boughten way back when we started dating. Usually whoever I'm with has their own, but I knew well enough that Kyle wouldn't be ready for this at all. Hence the reason I snuck another bottle into his room just in case this moment happened in there instead. A part of me wished that it had. Kyle deserved the best first time he could get; In a comfortable bed in a decently cleaned home.

But the fact that he was willing to let me have him on a worn-out, torn mattress atop carpet soiled with beer and God knows what else...There was something to be said about that.

I poured a good amount onto my index finger and coated it throughly. Kyle stared at me shakily and I smiled as comfortingly as I could, teasing his puckered entrance and making him shake harder. I leaned down amongst my teasing and kissed him slowly, very gently pushing my finger into him. He let out a half-moan before resuming kissing me back, seemingly not too bothered with my invasion. I smiled, rubbing my middle finger in some of the excess lube and pushing it into him as well. He groaned louder and longer, his eyebrows furrowing at the feeling.

I pulled back and grabbed the bottle of lube pouring some on my free hand and looking at him as I thrust my fingers into him slowly. "Are you okay?" I asked.

He nodded and I smiled back. "One more finger." I promised him, coating my ring finger generously before very slowly sliding it into him as well. He arched up, tilting his head back and groaned loudly.

"Fuck..." he breathed out.

"Does it hurt?" I winced. Usually I didn't really care how much pain the other person was in, but I guess Kyle became the exception to every one of my rules.

"A-a little," he hissed as I started thrusting.

"It'll make it easier," I swore. He nodded briefly as I kept pushing my lubed-up fingers into him, feeling his muscles relax around me ever-so-slightly with each push. I found his prostate and stayed still for a moment, rubbing my fingers against it and making him moan out and shake with desire. I watched him tremble and smiled at his attempts to keep himself controlled. Typical Kyle to say the least.

"Does it still hurt?" I questioned.

"Not...not really," he looked at me and his eyes glinted just slightly with a dark lust. I pulled my finger out of him and grabbed the lube again, tracing my eyes up and down his body as I started slicking up my cock. His cock was leaking and twitching with each breath of his narrow chest. I followed his flushed neck up towards his burning face, the look in his eyes a dangerous combination of seductive and animalistic. I grinned slyly and leaned overtop of him, my cock burning with need as I pushed his legs further apart and I came in-between them. I leaned down and pecked his lips briskly, the head of my cock just brushing his coated entrance.

"Are you ready?" I asked him in a whisper against his lips. He stared back for a minute before tilting his chin up and kissing me again, spreading his legs even wider as I scooted up slightly. I grabbed my cock and started guiding myself into him, listening for any pain-filled noises, only finding him moaning just barely under his breath. I pushed my way inside him, feeling the warmth of him surrounding me and nearly exploding right then and there at the idea that this was Kyle that I was with. I wasn't with another three cent hooker or random one night stand companion. I was finally with the boy I'd been dreaming about being with like this for over half a year.

I nearly had to pinch myself.

I stabilized myself as his arms went over my shoulders and his nails started biting into my skin. I started thrusting into him in a steady tempo, making the mattress creak alongside his fucking gorgeous moans. I turned my head and started kissing his neck, nipping and licking his pale flesh, squeezing him in-between my teeth as I worked. His thighs tightened around me slightly and I drove into him a bit harder. I heard him breathe out my name and I nuzzled into his flesh, inhaling his familiar, clean scent. I traced the small freckles along his shoulder with my tongue, committing their pattern to my memory as best I could.

I continued teasing his flesh before he rolled his shoulder and brought his hand down, pushing my face up towards his. I hovered over him for a moment, our eyes locked as I was pushed deep inside him, the moment almost overwhelming with passion. He pressed himself up and our tongues collided, dancing with each other as I kept thrusting, his moans warm and beautiful to my ears.

I drove into him harder and deeper, feeling his cock leaking across my stomach before I grabbed it and started pumping on him in time with myself.

"God..." I murmured, brushing his lips before biting on his bottom one teasingly, grating it between my teeth. "Jesus Christ, Kyle."

He just whimpered in response, his legs closing in around my waist. "Kenny..." he breathed out shakily. "I'm...I'm..." he panted, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in closer. I moved and resumed biting on his neck, my hand wrapping itself more firmly around his blazing skin and pumping faster. He buried his face into my shoulder and cried out passionately before I felt him explode between our skin, leaking down my abs onto his. He continued holding onto me as tightly as he could muster before my vision fell away from me and I bit down roughly onto his throat as I released myself up into him. He moaned as I filled him with my hot cum and held for a moment to catch my breath before I pulled out of him, feeling some of it escaping with me. I backed up a bit and pushed his legs up, catching some of it with my finger and sucking it off slowly, watching him as I did so.

He smiled at me tiredly and I practically collapsed beside him in exhaustion, slowly meeting lips with my lover before grabbing him and rolling him on top of me. He pulled back and laughed a bit as I squeezed his reddened ass and played with his hair. Our high calmed down a bit and we resorted to him laying on top of me and tracing my shoulder and neckline with his finger as I ghosted my own over his spine.

"Was it worth it?" he asked me softly, his eyes closed as he neared sleep.

"Hm?" I had replied, still caught up in the fact of what had just happened.

"Waiting," he elaborated, raising his head and looking at me. "Was it worth it?"

I stared at him a few moments before he rolled over back onto the bed beside me and I caught him up in my arms, holding him tightly and rubbing my head into his hair. "Yeah," I said quietly. "You were definitely worth it." I could feel him smile against my chest before his breathing calmed more and I found myself holding my slumbering boyfriend as though I feared losing him.

In retrospect, perhaps that statement is true.

The Meaning

There are three words that are so common in the human vocabulary I guess I never really even noticed it. They just roll off the tip of our tongue and that's that. No one really pays a separate glance.

Not until they're together at least.

Those three words? They haunt me to an extent. I can so easily say them when joking around with friends, when talking to my mother or my little sister.

But saying them to Kyle or him saying them to me? It takes a lot out of us.

Our relationship I've come to find was based on nothing but the bare minimum; Looks, touches, kisses, sex. It's all so simple and so part of the human nature.

But love? Love is complicated.

The phrase "I love you" very rarely passes between the two of us. When it does happen, it's because the other is hurt or upset. We don't text it to each other with little winking smiley faces like every other couple our age. We don't make heart symbols with our hands or mouth it to each other from across the room. We don't say it after kissing or during sex or even in the afterglow.

Kyle and my relationship with each other cannot be anything but love. We're fully aware of it as we've stayed strong through the last year and eight months. But we're still Kenny and Kyle. Getting together with each other didn't make us into mutations of our former selves. I'm still an asshole to anybody who irks me and I'm still a shameless pervert. Kyle's still highly opinionated and won't hesitate to attempt kicking anyone's ass who pisses him off. I'm not some flower-buying, buckled down and whipped romantic-type guy. And Kyle hasn't turned into some delicate little flower in the middle of a field.

Saying 'I love you' is a foreign type of concept to people like us. We're too headstrong to make ourselves say it for little-to-no reason. We've always been ones to prefer action to talking and we tend to excel on Occam's Razor as opposed to making ourselves stumble over words and look around nervously as Kyle had had to do when he first admitted his infatuation with me.

I've never been one to speak as I've said before. Muffling myself is how I've kept myself going through years of enduring the stupidity and cruelty of others around me. Now I know that my voice doesn't need to be as muffled when it's Kyle that I have beside me, but that part of me will always remain.

Besides, what are three words that are so mainstream they've all but lost their meaning when compared to something as simple and as strong a catalyst as a mere second glance?