Arkham Asylum has many rules, to see to the safety and protection of both the staff and inmates. They serve more as a warning to interns and new guards (the mortality rate of all personel within the asylum would surprise any who bothered to glance at the paperwork), who have been known to snort over some of the odder ones. But each rule was created for a reason, and each one has a story. Legend has it, ninety-percent of the one hundred and eleven rules displayed in deceivingly elegant scrip on the mandatory handouts and framed against chipped paint on the cement walls, were inspired by the Joker.

100 Rules of Arkham Asylum

001. Beginnings

The first time that the Joker is brought into the cozy halls of Arkham Asylum, they sit him in a chair across from a nameless and unfortunate doctor, restrained by nothing but handcuffs. The guards move to stand by the door, not looking nearly as alert as the man cuffed to his chair deems they should be, and the Joker feels quite insulted. The doctor begins talking and the Joker begins twisting his wrists, chafing them against the hard metal.

The doctor continues talking, pauses to wait for a reply, and Yes, he agrees wholeheartedly, growing up he never felt that his parents truly loved him; they just never paid attention, he always felt so alone, precisely, precisely. The pain in his wrists is building and the Joker bites back the giggles threatening to burst out as he wonders what could possibly be so interesting to the dear guards to keep them from noticing the blood running down his hand. He's learned that the way to achieve freedom is to ignore the initial pain that comes with it, and soon his hand will be slick and free. His eyes wander away from the doctor as his mind drifts; a lunge and a few tappity-taps of his head against the cement wall, a magic pencil trick (but the Joker does hate reusing material), one good jab of that pen up his nose, even if it doesn't kill him it'll make him look a hell of a lot funnier-

Hand free, the Joker manages a one-armed lunge, fingers sinking neatly into the good doctor's eye sockets and withdrawing their prizes with a neat –plop-. There's screaming as the doctor flails and the guards rush forwards, but the Joker is too preoccupied wiggling his new finger puppets and laughing to notice. Soon there's pain, the sensation quickly becoming an overwhelming buzz; and then darkness. As the Joker slides to the floor, the guard regrets knocking him out so soon, disturbed by the smile still on his face.

The next week, as the Joker is transported to his next session, he screams and thrashes until they allow him to pause long enough to read the new addition adorning the passage wall; his scarred grin widens at the sight as a passing inmate in similar attire glares at him.

"Patients must be restrained in straightjackets in the presence of psychiatrists at all times."

AN: This is an oldy. I wrote this something like 2 years ago. Expect better quality out of later chapters.