Title: Reality

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            They knew… They knew about her taking stuff… They sort of knew her pain, but it didn't change anything. Everything crystallized in her mind when Buffy was helping Willow through a particularly frustrating evening. Willow was aching to do a spell and Buffy knew it. They were in it together and crap like that.

It was one simple statement, "Dawn I need you to take care of yourself tonight." That was all there was…one statement. Dawn made herself dinner and did her homework. As she lay on her bed she realized a basic truth, Joyce was supposed to be there. Buffy was supposed to physically protect her from harm but someone else was meant to look after her. Fighting to be seen as an adult melted away as she realized she desperately wanted someone to take care of her.

Buffy was responsible for the world…not to be a mom. Buffy's life would be simpler and easier to handle if she wasn't there. For the first time in months, things made sense…anger wasn't the answer, stealing wasn't the answer, and pulling a 'look at me' act really wasn't it either.

Dawn had to find someone who could care for her. The options when she thought them through were dismal…none of the Scoobies except maybe Tara, her father, or going to social services. A creepy little voice at the back of her head suggested a long walk off a short bridge, but in the end she knew how much pain the death of their mother had caused and Dawn couldn't do that to Buffy.

            A handwritten note was taped to Dawn's door later that evening when Buffy went to check on her.

            Dear Buffy,

                        Please don't worry. I needed to think some things through and here wasn't the best place. I'll be sure to check in with Tara or Spike tonight for a place to crash. I'll be at school tomorrow, you can check. I just need to be away for a bit.

                                    Love, Dawn

            This was definitely not what Buffy needed that night. Coddling Willow was hard enough but running after a truant sister was worse. "Tara," Buffy questioned as she picked up the phone.

            "Buffy?"

            "Is Dawn with you or has she called?" Buffy asked in a panic.

            "No… What's wrong?" Tara asked soothingly.

            "Dawn took off and left a note saying she would crash at your place or Spike's tonight…She needed to think things through… I don't know if I can face Spike now," the slayer admitted. "I don't know if I can go check to see if she's there and find out 1) she wants to stay or 2) she's not there and I want to stay."

            "You stay put… I'll find her. She may just come home," Tara offered.

            "Thanks Tara," Buffy tried to calm her system. "Please call me when you find her…even if she's going to stay with you."

            "No problem."

            Tara arrived at Spike's crypt a little more worried then she expected mainly because of what Dawn had written. Dawn reacted to things; she didn't calmly think things through. She was a typical teenager. Dawn being off somewhere kicking rocks wasn't her style. Sneaking out & lying, that was very teenage, but not 'I need to think things through.'

            "Spike," she called into his crypt.

            Spike stuck his head through the hole in the floor. "What's up Tinkerbell? Don't fancy you coming to see me?"

            "Is Dawn here?" Tara asked simply.

            "No…Why? What's Bit into now?" he said knitting his brow together.

            "She left Buffy a note not to worry…She would stay with you or I tonight. But she needs to sort things out," Tara said as calmly as possible.

            "Bit is out after dark and she might be coming here…as in through the cemetery. She developed her sister's death wish all of a sudden?" Spike spoke from his knotted gut.

            "Kind of why I'm worried too," she admitted.

            "I'll have no tragic death scenes for my Nibblet!" Spike shouted grabbing his duster and left the crypt.

            "Where are you going?" Tara asked.

            "The place I taught her to break into," he replied. "Go home and wait."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Dawn sat amongst all of Giles' musty books and tried to remember the ones they used to find out the prophecies about her. "If Giles were still here, I'd ask to live with him," Dawn groaned, "no matter how boring he was."

            She grabbed one and flipped through the pages and found a note Giles had stuck in the pages.

Dear Rupert,

            I did as you asked and looked into Hank Summers. Not a very remarkable fellow. Too much money for his own good, shuffles his life so full so that he doesn't notice what he's missing. I posed as a potential client with daughters. When I mentioned it to him and commented on the pictures of Buffy and Dawn, he smiled sadly and said they lived far from him.

            As for whether he could help the girls, I don't know. He seems genuinely concerned about them but seems to be too ashamed to make an effort. I think they would have to ask for help. Why he ducked the girls when their mother died I cannot fathom. By all accounts from our conversations he was in the country during the time.

            I haven't seen girlfriend or lover to speak of so I doubt that is the cause. I briefly mentioned this to Angel only to be received by growls and vampiric posturing. He did finally mumble that he had met the man and let him know that his former family didn't need him. I'm afraid Angel's words do have something to do with Mr. Summers' distance with his daughters.

            If there is anything else please call,

                        Wesley

            Dawn slumped onto the floor. She didn't even know her father. She certainly didn't want to leave Sunnydale, but she also had to admit it might be better all the way around if she did. Spike found her curled on the floor, letter in hand when he entered the Magic Box.

            "Bit… Your sister's worried. Scared me too saying you going to come stay at my place where any vampire can drain you… What's up?" Spike asked cautiously. Dawn looked so frail and helpless.

            "I need someone to take care of me Spike. I can't depend on Buffy to be there for me. She's got to many things going on. She has to save the world every week. I can't expect her to make me dinner and help me with my homework too. I can't have mom, but I need someone…" Dawn said as strongly as she could despite the tears brimming in her eyes. "I think… I think its time I go live with Dad."

            Spike was floored. Dawn was his only true friend in town. He couldn't bear the thought. He sat down beside her, "Bit… You don't have to leave. We'll work something out. Tara and I can take turns being there when you get home from school and Xander and Anya can pitch in. When's Red's better we'll see if you two can be in the same room together."

            "That's my point… I don't need several 'sort of' parents. I need one strong one," Dawn said sitting squarely looking up at him. "All my notions of being treated like an adult went out the window tonight when Buffy asked me to take care of myself. It was like this rage just wanted to push through and scream, 'You take care of everyone else…who the hell takes care of me.'"

"I just need to face reality. She has too much on her plate. I'm too much. I need someone responsible for me and my welfare," she whispered. "I actually thought for a minute it would be easier to die so Buffy wouldn't have to worry about me…" Spike was petrified. She let out a self-deprecating laugh, "Like that wouldn't just kill her. I can't do that to her…But I can't keep pretending that everything is all right."

Spike soaked up the words slowly. "We… We need to call Buffy Nibblet. If you don't want to go home tonight you can stay with me or Tara," he pushed up on his feet. "Don't run out on me now. I'll be right back … and we'll figure something out." She nodded curtly.

Spike called Tara first, trying to figure out what to say to Buffy. "Luv, she's at the Magic Box with me. This is serious though. She's talking about living with Hank and mentioned thinking of committing suicide, which to me does not seem mutually exclusive," Spike said as he swallowed.

"She always acted like she hated her dad, like she never wanted to leave Sunnydale," Tara commented.

"She seems past her wits end… Tara, she used to sleep with the Bot for comfort this summer. She told me so…she has the same look of desperation in her eyes. Dawn sees herself as in the way," he said very concerned.

"My younger brother went through this when my mother died. He felt like he was always underfoot… Have you let Buffy know you found Dawn?"

"No pet… The way Dawn's talking its like she's afraid of causing her any more pain and she knows this will so…" Spike left off

"She took off," Tara finished. "Call Buffy and let her know. I'll go over to be with her. Dawn will stay with you tonight?"

"Right… I just realized something. If Bit leaves, I leave too. My promise is to protect Dawn, not Buffy. This feels weird," he said dumbly.

"I know… Talk to you tomorrow," Tara answered.

"Tomorrow."

            Spike picked the phone back up and dialed Buffy. "Dawn," Buffy's voice said frantically.

            "No luv…"

            "Spike I don't have time…"

            "I know. She's with me. She's safe," Spike said simply.

            "Oh thank God…Do you want me to come get her or will you walk her home?"

            Spike closed his eyes and grit his teeth at the pain he was about to cause his love. "Neither pet. Dawn's staying with me tonight. Tara's on her way over to see you."

            "What are you talking about?" Buffy said in anger. "You can't keep my sister from me!"

            "I'm going to have to if you don't want her to hitch a ride to LA to stay with your dad or go to social services for placement. Just stay calm and wait to talk to Tara." Spike heard Buffy crying on the other end of the phone. "My promise still stands Buffy. I will protect her till the end of time."

            "What are you saying?" Buffy whimpered.

            "I'm saying I'll go with LilBit to LA if need be…"

TBC….?