10 Things I am not allowed to do Around Gokudera Hayato

Warnings/ Disclaimer: Rated T for Gokudera's (and the other characters') potty mouth! This is unbeta-d! So I am extremely sorry for the poor grammar and spelling mistakes. I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

This is crack, yeah. So if it bothers you that the characters are in unexplainable slapstick comedy and over-OOC-ness, I suggest you hit the back button, NOW.

And I'm sorry if this isn't really funny or extra cracky enough. It has been a long time and I think I lost a bit of my sense of humor (not that I have one. Or it's really really weird).

So, enjoy!

Number 8

You are not Allowed to Challenge Gokudera Hayato into a Dance-Off

Rai could not comprehend how it was possible for everything to go downhill so fast. She vaguely remembered complaining about how life just absolutely sucked and how she wanted it to go away for maybe just a few minutes so she could wallow in self-pity and silently curse at the stupidity of everything she laid her eyes upon.

And given that she was currently in her room with a bunch of people with questionable intentions and varying levels of intelligence, her silent misgivings were actually rather justified.

She also wondered how every time someone decides that they wanted to be something other than sane, they always somehow manage to be in her room at the time of glorious enlightenment. It was almost as if her room reeked of second-hand idiocy or something.

It was also probably why she was almost always accused of spouting nonsense when everything she said out loud usually made a lot more sense and a lot less stupid in her head.

"Why have you guys condemned me as original idiot?" she blurted out loud just to prove her point.

And really, it did sound right in her head but now everyone was looking at her like she was the second coming of Optimus Prime. She wept inside at the injustice of it all as her friends merely stared on in different states of bemusement.

If Rai weren't so fucking depressed she would have laughed at their faces.

But since she was, she only proceeded to silently glower at them with a pout that made her look like a caveman-woman mutant.

Which was a feat in itself.

JiHi raised an eyebrow from her seat in front of Rai's bat old PC, "Are you alright?"

"Does it look like I'm alright?" Rai said as she tripled the pout on her face.

JiHi rolled her eyes, "You know, glower a li'l more and your face is going to stay that way."

"I don't care."

"Well, you should. You'll end up looking like Gokudera."

Gokudera puffed up like an insulted little bird, not that he wasn't- a little bird, I mean. "And what is that supposed to mean, huh?"

JiHi smirked, "You're smart. Use that head of yours," and continued watching dance videos on YouTube.

It was silent for a moment, Gokudera taking the chance to open and close his mouth in a silent display of indignation.

Rai snorted, which was quite unbecoming of a girl. However, that was the least of her concerns right now. Her major concern at present was how she could defuse the tension that reared its ugly head in her room. Because currently, it looked like Gokudera was plotting 78 ways to slowly kill JiHi with his eyes.

And really, she didn't want homicide committed in her room.

They could wait until they got outside to settle their uhh, homicidal-tendencies-slash-unresolved-sexual-tension.

In short, Rai wasn't in the mood to hide the bodies later.

"That is," JiHi continued, "if there's anything inside that head at all."

Make that 79 ways.

"Yeah well," Gokudera sneered, "You aren't one to talk! Watching those videos all day everyday should kill all the braincells in your head by now. Though I'm not saying you had any to begin with."

Rai rolled her eyes. "Oh please just kiss already."

The glares they both sent her were murderous enough to make the toughest of men piss their pants.

"Haha~!" Yamamoto suddenly decided it was right to remind the others of his presence, "Rai makes up the best games sometimes!"

Tsuna beside him was wringing his hands in front of his chest and was looking at the others around him like they were HUNGRY dinosaurs, "Yamamoto, I don't think that Rai-san was talking about a ga-"

"Finish that sentence and you're dead, Tsuna." JiHi spat.

Gokudera started, "You're actually threatening the Tenth in front of me?"

JiHi leveled him with a look that said she was not afraid of the shit Gokudera could pull, "You're hardly someone that would make me want to do otherwise."

Gokudera positively growled.

"I mean, I bet you can't even pull off a simple dance move that doesn't resemble a cross between an electrocuted earthworm and a flailing duck."

"Oh, you're on, woman."

"Bring it on then, tough guy."

Rai resigned herself with a Dance-off inside her room. At least she could get blackmail material.

"Uweeheehee! Lambo has come to host this god awful Dance-off!" came the deranged maniacal laughter of a 5-year old cow as Rai twitched, the feeling of déjà vu sweeping over her in fucking waves.

Really, she shouldn't be allowed to be surprised anymore.

Her companions had recurring bouts of stupidity and what-the-fuckness.

Lambo then pressed a red button that appeared right in front of him with unrestrained glee, allowing a thrumming beat to shake the room's walls; subsequently knocking a few posters to the ground.

Rai silently mourned at their foreordained fall. It was sort of reminding her of the feelings she had to tolerate when she saw that Reichenbach Fall episode the other d-

OH NO.

NO.

Rai promptly burst into a hysterical sob fest, prompting everyone around her to look at her as if she were the secon- third coming of Optimus Prime.

Rai kicked Deja Vu in the balls.

"I wonder about your thought processes sometimes, Rai." JiHi said as she stretched her arms above her head, looking at the emotionally constipated girl currently mopping her tears with a sock.

Gokudera sneered at her, "I wonder about yours, too."

"My thought processes are perfectly fine and sane."

Gokudera gestured to his surroundings, "Oh yes. Because challenging me into a dance-off out of – oh, I don't know – out of fucking nowhere was a perfectly sound decision."

JiHi decided she didn't want to deign that with an answer.

Gokudera beamed like a peacock.

Rai snorted. Ha ha, cock.

Rai sometimes wondered about her thought processes, too.

"So!" Yamamoto cut off Gokudera's gloating, "Are we playing Statue Dance?"

"What are you? Five?"

An uncharacteristic frown appeared on Yamamoto's face, "What? Statue Dance is a perfectly enjoyable party game!"

"Yeah, for five year olds!"

"Says who?"

Yamamoto risked a glance at Tsuna, "Well, Tsuna and I were talking about how enjoyable Statue Dance was during your lover's spat."

As expected, Gokudera looked absolutely horrified. Either at the notion of A.) indirectly calling Tsuna a 5 year old and subsequently insulting his person or B.) Tsuna actually thinking that Statue Dance was a game that could still be played by respected future mafiamen like themselves or C.) JiHi and himself in a lover's spat.

Knowing Gokudera it could be anything.

"JiHi and I aren't in a lover's spat."

Oh.

C it was then.

"You get off from fighting then?"

"What?" Gokudera hissed, his green eyes glinting dangerously. Rai choked on her own spit.

"Are you idiots gonna dance or not?" Lambo asked as he fiddled with the volume dial, turning it up and down, "I've got dinner dates too, you know."

Tsuna whirled around and pointed a menacing figure at the 5-year-old. Lambo merely looked on unimpressed.

"What do you mean 'dinner dates'? You're five years old!"

Lambo frowned, "Doesn't stop you from playing Statue dance."

"But you can't have dinner dates! What 5-year-old has dinner dates?"

"In case you weren't paying attention: Me."

Tsuna spluttered.

Rai frowned at the cow puffing his chest. Oh, great. A five-year-old boy who dresses in a cow suit managed to land a date before she could even get one. She didn't know if she should be impressed or insulted.

Yamamoto laughed, "Man, you're a lucky guy! Who's your date then?"

"Tsuna's mom!"

Rai cackled in her mind as she heard the last vestiges of her sanity crumble into pieces. Well, whoop-de-fucking-doo.

"Now dance, motherfuckers!"

Tsuna stared at the cow deadpan. Rai actually felt sorry for the guy. If these guys were his future protectors, his future was pretty much screwed up the ass. "You know, you shouldn't be saying that... given the context of the previous conversation."

"You aren't the boss of me!" Lambo said.

"Yeah, sure, you keep telling yourself that."

"So!" JiHi exclaimed, "Are you ready, jerk?"

Gokudera cracked his knuckles, "I'm always ready, fuckwad."

A new song started- a korean one, judging from the incoherent lyrics. Both decided that that particular song belonged to JiHi.

She executed a series of steps that had Gokudera unconsciously gaping at her with a rather red face. Rai smirked as she continued recording the dance battle.

Ii, data.

JiHi kicked out and swung her arms, accidentally (not really) slapping Gokudera upside the head in the process. Cackling, Lambo pressed next and another song blasted from the speakers before JiHi could kick Gokudera in the balls.

It was Ice Ice Baby.

Gokudera frowned and resigned himself to a miserable fate. He lifted his right leg into the air, bent at the knee while reaching his right arm behind him to grab at his right ankle and began pumping his right leg up and down, his left elbow meeting with his right knee to complete to dance move.

Least to say, it was the most ridiculous dance move Rai had ever seen in her life.

Understatement of the fucking millennium.

She turned to JiHi and the look on the girl's face was hilarious enough that Rai had to get that in tape, too.

Gokudera was too busy executing his dance move to notice the stunned JiHi at his side, and right when he made another vigorous leg pump, he leg-pumped right into JiHi's stomach. They overbalanced, and then fell into a rather pathetic heap of limbs and clothes on the floor.

"Please tell me that's not your junk currently poking my back."

Gokudera awkwardly got off of the girl, brushing off the imaginary dirt off his shirt, "Of course not, you pervert." JiHi snorted at this as she got up. "That was my secret stash of dynamites."

JiHi's face contorted into a hybrid mix of disgust, amusement and bemusement. "You shove dynamites down your-"

"Yes," Gokudera snapped, turning an absolutely lovely shade of red, "Now, kindly shut the fuck up."

JiHi did just that.

Rai, however, didn't. "You mean there's room?" Rai raised her eyebrows as she and just about everyone in the room eyed the curious specimen that is the front of Gokudera's black skin-tight jeans.

Really tight jeans.

Rai smirked, wolf-whistling, "It's either you're lying or you're really tiny in-"

"Oh God."

Gokudera blushed and didn't deign that with an answer.

The others decided they didn't want to know anyway.

Ignorance is bliss, they said.

A/N:

I apologize for many things.

… don't judge me.