Caramel

Summary: Lily Evans has finally figured out that she fancies James Potter. But instead of happiness and sunshine and passionate snogging, there's a lot of mysterious Comfort Caramels and wallowing in the kitchens. An L/J one-shot.

Disclaimer: Nope. It all belongs to the brilliant JKR. Le sigh.

A/N: Fun Fact: I was watching Canada's Worst Driver while working on this. Oh man…those people are terrifying. Anyways, hope you enjoy this bit o' fluffiness!

"It won't do to dream of caramel,

to think of cinnamon - and long for you.

It won't do to stir a deep desire,

to fan a hidden fire

that can never burn true."

Suzanne Vega, Caramel

Lily Evans was in distress.

Oh, not the physical sort of course - unless you count the way she'd pulled a muscle in her neck that morning while brushing her hair. No, Lily Evans was in emotional distress.

Which was much worse in her opinion. Yaxley, Mulciber, Avery - she'd much rather be facing any of them in a dimly lit corridor, completely wandless, than be where she currently was - which was really saying something since she was hiding out in the Hogwarts Kitchens. It wasn't usually a place to be abhorred.

It was warm in the kitchen, but mostly empty at the late hour. A few house elves tottered to and fro, stopping every once in a while to ask the distraught seventeen year old if she needed anything. Lily would wave them away, still clutching a large shiny spoon in her hand. The other hand was occupied with a small pint of double chocolate fudge brownie ice cream - also known by a vast majority of the female population as 'comfort food'. Once the most recent house elf hurried away she rammed the spoon into the tub and dug out the last of the ice cream, scraping the edges to get every last sickly sweet drop.

She shovelled it into her mouth, savouring the coldness and the sweetness and the euphoric wonder of chocolate ice cream and fudge brownie. But the happiness was short lived. Lily sighed and tossed the container back onto the brushed stainless steel counter top. A house elf scurried to her side as another swept the dishes out of sight.

"Does Miss need anything?" the house elf asked her, blinking up at her with large yellow eyes. Lily groaned and leaned forward to rest her head against the counter. Her words were muffled when she spoke.

"How about a bit of dignity?" she asked. The house elf blinked, looking perplexed. Lily took pity on him and waved him away, muttering an apology and telling him she didn't need anything.

Unfortunately, what Lily Evans needed, the house elf couldn't give her. She sighed, her face still firmly planted on the cool metal of the counter, her eyes tightly shut. She raised her head slowly, about an inch from the counter top before she let it drop back down with a muffled thump. She did this a few more times, muttering darkly and cursing occasionally. There was not enough chocolate in all of Britain to make Lily Evans feel better so she was hoping to solve her woes by trying to bash them out. It wasn't working.

"Ow," she murmured, sitting up to rub the red spot right between her eyes. It was then that she spotted them. It was a simple looking clear plastic bag, the sweets sitting innocently inside, their pretty wrappers glinting in the dull light. Lily looked around. The kitchen was deserted.

She reached out and tentatively tugged the bag closer, her eyes searching for any sign of movement, any clue as to who had placed them on the table. With one final glance - and no one in sight - Lily reached into the bag and removed a few of the candies, peering at the label.

Comfort Caramels it read in pretty blue script. She'd heard of them before – they were often the food of choice for anyone going through a breakup or some sort of other romantic turmoil. Dorcas Meadowes liked them because she swore they never made her gain weight, no matter how many she ate in one sitting. Lily peeled off the shiny wrapper revealing a small cube of soft caramel. With a shrug to no one, Lily popped the candy in her mouth and chewed.

The feeling was instant, like hot cocoa on a bitingly cold day. The warmth spread through her, and the unease that she had been feeling all day began to ebb. She smiled, tore off another wrapper and chewed greedily.

Her mind, now more at ease, flickered over the events of the day that had put her in such a depressive, lack-lustre mood to begin with. Although, it wasn't so much as several events, but one, and it wasn't so much an event, but a person. One person.

James Potter, since we're being specific.

You see, Lily Evans wasn't blind - and that was the unfortunate crux of the matter.

Because if she was blind, she wouldn't have noticed that James made a wonderful Head Boy. She wouldn't have seen how he was fair, and kind, and how he helped a first year Hufflepuff when she got lost last week.

If she was blind, Lily wouldn't have seen how much he had changed. How he paid attention in class and studied in the Common room. Wouldn't have noticed how he was so adept at balancing homework, Head duties and Quidditch. Wouldn't have realised that he was perhaps still a bit arrogant, but he wasn't a bullying toe rag, and the sight of him didn't exactly make her sick anymore.

And most of all, if Lily Evans had been blind she wouldn't have noticed that James Potter was unbelievably, unequivocally, unfairly good-looking.

She was thrilled that James had matured. It was wonderful that she shared Head duties with someone who lived up to what was expected of them. She was pleased that he was dependable and thoughtful and no longer behaved rudely just for a laugh.

His new, mature leaf made it easy to work with him, to be around him, to even be friends with him. What didn't make it easy was the way her heart sped up every time she saw him.

Or how good he looked after he came back from Quidditch practice, smelling like soap and leather, his hair a mess and sticking up in all directions. Or his crooked glasses and matching grin that instantly charmed her. She spent afternoons in Potions admiring the sloping, sinewy muscle of his forearms when he rolled up the sleeves of his white oxford shirt (she imagined they would feel lovely wrapped around her waist). She spent every Charms class contemplating the perfect angle for his tie to hang (she preferred it when it was a bit loose and a bit crooked). In Transfiguration she deciphered why his hair looked lovelier the messier it was (She decided it was because it was easier to imagine she had run her fingers through it and messed it up herself).

And all of this admiring and contemplating and deciphering was a problem - because Lily was thinking far too much about all sorts of things she'd like to do to James Potter. Like running her hands over those forearms, tugging on that tie to pull him closer, raking her fingers through that jet-black hair….

And…ahem. Perhaps a few other things.

Lily cringed as she shoved more caramels into her mouth, trying to stamp out the odd yearning that twisted in her gut. Lily Evan's problem wasn't that she hated James Potter. It wasn't even that she liked James Potter.

Lily Evan's problem was that she liked James Potter too bloody much.

And the Comfort Caramels weren't really helping, so she began rapidly unwrapping them and cramming them in her mouth by the handful.

Now, the trouble with Comfort Caramels wasn't that they made you gain weight, it was that they didn't. Therefore Lily had no real reason not to eat them by the handful - but Lily Evans really needed to stop stuffing her face full of Caramels long enough to realise that she was no longer alone in the kitchens.

When he cleared his throat, she nearly leapt right out of her seat. As it was, her head snapped around to face him, still clutching several shiny wrappers in her hands, her cheeks puffed out with caramel. Her eyes widened as she stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.

James stood, leaning in the doorway, a small smile plating over his features. His crisp white shirt was rolled up at the sleeves, revealing his wiry forearms. His tie was hanging loosely, just the way she liked it, and his hair looked more dishevelled than ever.

Lily's fingers twitched as her mind imagined how wonderful it would feel to run her hands through that unruly hair. A moment later she clenched her hand into a fist, trying to ignore the urge, and looked down at the floor, sheepish.

"Dunt jubge me," she mumbled to him, the words jumbled because her mouth was still full of Comfort Caramels. They clearly weren't helping. She did not feel at all comforted during this turn of events. Not by a long shot. No siree bob. She actually felt rather sick.

James' lips twisted into an amused grin. "Are you alright?"

Lily tried to swallow down the lump of Caramel that seemed to be caught in her throat. When she looked at James, she promised herself she would not think anything remotely sappy. However, the first thing that Lily Evans noticed was how, in the dim light of the kitchens, James' eyes appeared to be the soft gold of a Comfort Caramel.

Her hand slapped her forehead as her eyes slammed shut. "Oh bollocks," she muttered darkly, turning away from him. James' chuckles bounced around the kitchen.

"Lily?" he asked, amusement clear in his voice.

"Yes?" she croaked. Lily had slumped over the table, trying to swallow the large gob of caramel still lodged in her throat without drooling on the counter. Thankfully, she managed. James' large, calloused hand landed ever so gently on her shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

She glanced up at him through a curtain of her hair. "Pardon?"

"What are you doing down in the kitchens? It's nearly midnight." he said, quirking an eyebrow, inquisitive. He took a seat on the stool next to her, propped his elbow up on the counter, cradling his head in his hand.

Lily, feeling her face growing hot, reached for the bag of Comfort Caramels and dragged them closer. "Nothing," she murmured, not looking at him.

"Hm, I don't believe you. Would you care to try again?"

That earned him a glare and a muttered curse about nosy prats.

"My, my, someone's testy," he teased. He plucked the plastic bag out of her grasp, eyeing the candies inside. "Ah, Comfort Caramels. Drowning your sorrows, are you?"

His hazel eyes glinted behind his glasses. James was rather clever, much to Lily's chagrin. She knew that he'd noticed her staring at him in class. He even called her out on it a few times, but she always waved it off, claiming she wasn't staring, but just thinking about the many ways in which she despised him. He would laugh, tell her that he didn't believe her, and smile that resolve-crumbling crooked smile. Lily snatched the bag of caramels back.

"Go away, Potter," she grumbled. "Leave me in peace, would you?"

"'Fraid I can't do that, Lily dearest."

"And why not?"

He gave her a cheeky grin. "Someone's gotta make sure you don't throw yourself off the astronomy tower."

She punched him in the arm, finally sitting up straight to look at him properly. "I'm not suicidal, you git!"

He rubbed his arm, smiled at her. "Ah, there's the Lily Evans I know and love."

The words slipped out easily, as if saying her name and the word 'love' in the same sentence was the most natural thing in the world. Lily felt her breath catch in her throat and looked away, her fingers twisting together out of nervousness.

For an instant she let herself believe that he meant it in the way she wanted him too. That still, after so many years of fighting and screaming and hateful hexes, he fancied her. But she couldn't believe it. Not really. There was a doubtful voice in the back of her mind that overrode the small one who argued that no man who smiled at her like that could have only pure, friendly intentions. That smile was all sorts of wicked.

She glanced at him, tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear. He was gazing at her oddly, his eyebrows drawn tightly together as he scrutinized her.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked again. Lily sighed, then nodded.

"It's…it's nothing. I'm just…tired."

He frowned at her, clearly not buying it. Lily shrugged at his look before unwrapping another caramel.

"Where'd you manage to get those?" he asked suddenly. He reached into the bag and drew out a caramel, holding it between his index and his thumb, peering at it curiously.

Lily shrugged as she chewed. "Found 'em."

"You found them?"

Lily nodded. "On the counter. I figure a house elf left them for me."

James looked doubtful.

"What?" Lily asked, frowning. "What is it?"

"It's just…" he trailed off with a shrug, still analysing the small cube of caramel. "These look different than the ones I've seen before."

"What do you mean different?"

"Well, Marlene was depressed when that slimy git Ben dumped her last June, remember? She ate loads of these back then…and I'm pretty sure the wrappers were… different."

Lily, however, had stopped listening to James. There, in the bottom of the plastic bag, was a small scrap of parchment. With a sinking feeling, Lily pulled it out and unfolded it, cringing the moment she recognized her best friend's writing.

Dear Lily,

I've laced these caramels with an Un-Inhibitor Potion.

It should be kicking in any moment.

You can thank me later.

Sincerely,

Chelsea.

"Oh bloody hell," Lily murmured, dropping the note and struggling to her feet. "I have to get out of here."

"Wait, why?" James said, standing. He looked slightly alarmed.

"Nothing, no reason," Lily said. She was struggling to see as the room swam within her vision. Having eaten so may caramels in such a short period of time, the effect of the potion hit her suddenly. Lily blinked furiously, relieved when the world became a bit more steady. She wasn't so relieved, however, when James moved to follow her.

"What are you doing?" she asked sharply. He blinked.

"Going with you?"

"No," she said adamantly. "You have to stay here."

"Why?"

"Because," she stubbornly argued. James took a step closer to her, smirking.

"Why?"

She stomped her foot. "Because I said so!"

This line of reasoning only served to broaden James' grin. "This has something to do with Chelsea's grand plan, doesn't it?"

Lily looked panicked. "You know about it?"

"Only that she said it'd be worth my while to make my way down to the kitchens," he told her with a small shrug, his smile still in place. "What'd she do?"

"She drugged me!" Lily said, glowering at James. "As if I don't have enough to worry about with NEWTs to study for and Death Eaters trying to do me in - now I have to avoid being drugged by my best mate!"

"She drugged you? With what?" James laughed, stepping closer to her again. Lily was backed up against the opposite counter, James only a foot away from her. Lily could feel her fingers itching to reach out and touch him - his arms looked so touchable - and it was getting harder and harder to persuade herself not to.

"Er… an un-inhibitor," Lily mumbled. She was distracted by the way his shirt stretched across his shoulders, the way a small muscle in his jaw was ticking. The atmosphere in the kitchens shifted.

"And why," he asked, his voice dropping in both tone and volume, "would she give you that?"

"She thinks I'm stubborn."

He chuckled. "I hate to break it to you, love, but you are stubborn."

A very small part of Lily's brain was indignant at this comment, but most of it was too caught up in the way James' lips were drawing ever closer to really care all that much about being incensed.

However, James pulled away before he got too close, his hand instantly finding his hair, forcing it to stand in small, awkward tufts. He cleared his throat.

"Sorry, Lily, I…er… Maybe I should go," he said. He looked nervous, unsure of himself, and it was that uneasy look that completely dissolved the last few shreds of Lily's resolve. Maybe the potion made it easier, but Lily's actions were all her own as she grabbed James by his tie and yanked his mouth down on hers.

Over the past month Lily had thought a lot about a moment like this.

She detailed many scenarios in which she would snog James Potter passionately. She categorized the many ways it would start, and what it would lead to, and how it would end. Most of her mental scripts were sappy and overly dramatic and usually finished with a proposal of marriage because frankly, it was Lily's fantasy and she would do as she pleased, thank you very much.

Not that she had ever assumed that any such situation would arise in the real world. Because James Potter and Lily Evans…well…No. No, Lily Evans and James Potter - no matter how wonderful and handsome and oh-so-alluring he may be - did not go together. No. No, no, no.

But…

Yes.

Oh, bloody hell, YES!

That was her one main resounding thought as James' lips pressed against hers. He pulled away to look at her, his gaze curious, slightly guarded, as if he was expecting to get slapped any second as some sort of cruel, practical joke. Lily was struggling, feeling both woozy from Chelsea's potion and the way her blood was pounding in her ears. She smiled at James, and a fraction of a second later he smiled back and leaned in for another kiss.

One hand laced through his hair as the other ran along his shoulder and down his arm, finally feeling those wiry muscles. His hands were buried in her hair, tilting her head for better access to her mouth. His left hand released her to slide down to her waist, tugging her closer. She smiled against his lips before breaking away. It was harder than she thought it would be.

"I'd just like to point out that a stubborn person wouldn't do that," she said, smirking slightly as she gestured between them. James gave her a crooked grin, before leaning in for a chaste kiss, humming against her lips.

"I suppose, not. No," he whispered between kisses.

"Chelsea will have to be informed."

"Perhaps later, love," he said, his lips travelling across her face to press a kiss to the corner of her jaw.

"She'll also have to be murdered for drugging me," Lily mused, her fingers twining through James', smiling slightly as his lips burnt a trail along her collar bone.

"Hm," was all he said.

"James, dear?" Lily said, blushing as his lips found hers again.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Be a good boyfriend and murder my best mate, would you?"

He froze for a moment before he smiled crookedly. "Could you repeat that?"

Lily's eyes widened as she slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh sodding…" she mumbled through her fingers. "Damn bloody potion's got me saying all sorts of things."

"An un-inhibitor doesn't make you say things. It just makes it easier to say them," James smirked, tugging her closer to him so he could whisper in her ear. "Now, Lily my love, what was it you said? Be a good - what was it?"

Lily's answer came out as a squeak. "Boyfriend?"

"Ah," he said with a satisfied smirk. "That's what I thought." He tapped her on the nose. Lily forced her features into a grimace.

"You're such a prat."

"But I'm your prat," he teased. "Come on then," he then said with a laugh, throwing an arm around her shoulders and leading her out of the kitchens. "Let's go see about offing your best mate. Sirius ought to have some good ideas."

Lily Evans laughed, leaning into James' side. "You're such a good boyfriend."

James chuckled and placed a kiss in her hair.

A/N: It turned out a bit different than I had originally planned, but it makes me smile. Let me know what you think! Did you love it? Hate it? Did you choke on the icky, fluffy sweetness? :)