Things that Go Crash in the Night

A/N: This is just sort of an alternative version of what could have happened that night before the beach banquet in Sirens of Surrentum (The best book, in my opinion)

Tottering – and that really was the only word for it – down the marble path that led from the ornate balustrade of Publius Pollius Felix's Villa Limona was the marvellous young figure of Flavia Gemina, daughter of Marcus Flavius Geminus, Sea Captain.

Except this was not the right Flavia Gemina.

Thick kohl lined her eyes. Her lips were am unnatural pink and her cheeks were all wrong compared to their usual vivacious glow. Blue powder lined her eyelids and her skin had been bleached. Her hair was adorned with accessory after accessory and her corks heels looked far too grown up for her, never mind the simple question of practicality and walking ability.

"Hello Floppy. I mean Flaccus: Oh Pollux, I've done it again. I'm so sorry." She giggled, looking much more like herself and less like the women she was trying to be. Flaccus couldn't help but grin at the sound of her laugh.

"What are you wearing?" It made him angry. Why should a girl as pretty as her laden herself with all this... product that was clearly designed for vain, silly little girls like Pulchra.

"Do you like it?"She twisted to the side and pouted. Flaccus winced inwardly. What had happened to the Flavia he had seen earlier this week. This afternoon, in fact, running carelessly around the villa. Haring after friends with dogs in tow?

"Take it all off. Now." He couldn't even look at her.

"What?" She was fuming. Eyes bulged and mouth agape. After all, how dare he? "No. It took ages. And you can't tell me what to do. You're not my pater!" It was a childish response and she knew it, but it was true. Self obsessed, conceited, arrogant Flaccus with his stupid gum and stupid hair. Who did he think he was?

No, he wasn't her pater. Flaccus mused. And it was a good thing too, because if he was, the way he had been thinking of her lately would be completely inappropriate. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and looked her square in the eyes.

"No, but what would your pater say if he were here?"

Flavia's face fell. She knew he was right, and that just made it even more annoying.

"But I'll be late for the beach banquet."

"No you won't," His voice was soft but firm. "I'm waiting for Annia Serena anyway, so I'll make sure the boat doesn't go without you." Her face was still stubborn. Flaccus decided to change tact. It was worth letting her a glimpse of his feelings if it meant he could look at her and smile all night. "Please take it off. For me?"

Her pretty features, glowing in the moonlight, softened as she averted her eyes.

"Fine. Some of it."

Flaccus watched her retreat, defeated. As soon as her head bobbed out of sight, he sank against the low marble wall and gazed up at the stars. Would she ever notice him for what he really was? What he really felt?

The mere sight of her was enough to lift his heavy heart: Her shining blue eyes, fresh with youth and excitement and impertinence; her hair, not quite blond and not quite brown – just as indecisive as she; her cheeks, always red from chasing someone or other; and her lips. He could stare for hours at those lips. They were cracked and chapped and dry – exhausted from talking he supposed! Always bossing people around, gossiping with friends, reciting the Aeneas and the Ovid, trying to decipher mysteries like the detectrix she strived to be. She was perfect, and as the incredible array of stars glittered down on him, even they seemed to agree. Suddenly, he was broken from his reverie. A figure was sitting on the low wall opposite him. It was Annia Serena.

"You were thinking about her, weren't you?" She looked stunning in a dark blue stola. It was more of a statement than a question, her tone dreamy and inquisitive rather than accusative.

"I don't know what you're –" He stopped himself and sighed. "I can't even deny it. Of course I was," He sighed again, half in defeat, half in longing.

"Good." Came the soft reply and Annia Serena gazed lazily out to the glistening sea. A few short minutes later, the two adults were startled by the sound of feet fleeing from the villa. They peered out from the oleander bush behind which they were sitting and saw a dashing shape skid across the smooth pathway, arms outstretched, before tumbling head first into the overflowing flowerbed.

"Ow. Ow. Ouch. Ah. Owwww," complained a disgruntled bush.

Flaccus giggled, his eyes shining. Annia Serena looked down at him and smiled sadly.

"Once you've got her, don't let her go," she breathed wisely, and drifted off towards the waiting boat.

Flaccus stood up and composed himself just in time to see Flavia emerging from the foliage, complete with flowers, twigs and thorns, desperately trying to appear dignified. He suppressed a laugh.

"I left on the kohl," she said stubbornly, and stormed past him after Annia Serena.

Flaccus smiled and sighed. There was no doubt about it. He was in love. And there was nothing anyone could do about it...

Disclaimer: I do not (much to my disappointment) own Flaccus, Flavia, Annia Serena or any other Roman Mysteries characters, ideas or plots. All belong to the genius that takes the form of one Caroline Lawrence.