Phoney Tails

I own nothing except this story and any original characters. Sonic and crew belong to Sega.

I don't own the Goofy Holler either (unfortunately), Disney does.

This is just a random one shot I couldn't resist the urge to write.

It was a dull rainy morning on Mobius. The sky was grey and raindrops were hammering down on the ground. Tails could see the dull sight out of his window. He hated it when it was dull and boring like this, especially when he wanted to take Cosmo out somewhere.

"I hate it when it's dull and boring like this." muttered Tails.

Cosmo was sitting on the sofa looking bored.

"Is there anything we can do Tails?" she asked.

Tails began to think for a moment. He didn't have any inventions in mind and there was nothing interesting to watch on the TV so what could he do to amuse himself? Then a very naughty plan crept into his head.

"I've got an idea Cosmo!" he said mischievously "Let's prank phone call someone!"

"What's that then?" asked Cosmo unsurely.

"I just call someone and make a fool of them and then we laugh our heads off." explained Tails, picking the phone up.

"I know who to start with." he said mischievously as he dialled a number.

RING! RING!

"Hello?" came the voice of none other than Vector the crocodile "This is the Team Chaotix detective agency. How can we help ya?"

"Hi there." said Tails "Is there a Mr. I'm-bound-to-bite-yer-head-off here?"

"I'm bound to bite your head off?" said a very confused Vector.

"EEEK!" shrieked Tails "Don't you dare bite my head off you crazy croc!"

And then he hung up, leaving Vector wondering what the heck had just happened. Espio the Chameleon and Charmy Bee stared at Vector in confusion.

"Did you just say you're bound to bite someone's head off?" asked Espio.

"I'm…not…sure." said Vector slowly.

Charmy just laughed at him.

Tails was laughing like a hyena.

"That was so funny!" he sniggered "What did you think Cosmo?"

"Um…" said Cosmo "I think that was a bit strange."

"Oh." said Tails a bit disappointed Cosmo wasn't laughing with him "Well you'll like this one."

He dialled another number and grinned naughtily.

RING! RING!

"What do you want?" boomed the deep growling voice of Black Doom, leader of the Black Arms.

"Hello." said Tails, disguising his voice slightly so Black Doom wouldn't recognize him "I'm just wondering do you have anyone called I'm-a-big-sissy at all?"

"Hold on." said Black Doom; he looked away from his phone and looked at his glorious army of Black Arms who were watching him mutinously.

"Attention Black Arms." he boomed "Is there an I'm-a-big-sissy around here?"

Then to the evil leader's confusion all the Black Arms in the room were now giggling like insignificant little human children.

"What's so funny?" growled Black Doom "I asked is there an I'm-a-big-sissy around here?"

Then it dawned on him. He, the marvellously brilliant Black Doom had been tricked.

"I'm going to destroy whoever it was that pranked me!" he snarled.

He was about to shout down the phone but Tails had already hung up. Black Doom screwed his face up in anger and proceeded to tear the phone apart in his claws while the Black Arms still laughed at him.

"Oh my god that was so rich!" cried Tails, laughing so hard his sides hurt "Black Doom fell for it big time!"

Cosmo actually laughed slightly, even though she had no idea who Black Doom was.

"That was a funny one." she said "Who else are you gonna prank then?"

"Oh just you wait!" said Tails mischievously as he dialled the next number on the phone.

RING! RING!

"Hello?" came the voice of none other than Rouge the Bat, master jewel thief and crafty gal.

"Hi Rouge." said Tails "I'm wondering do you know anyone called Ivor Hugh Jass at all?"

"Ivor Hugh Jass?" repeated Rouge.

"You need to lose some weight then!" shrieked Tails.

"WHAT?" cried Rouge "Why I outta…"

Tails hung up in a flash.

Tails was now rolling over and over on the floor crying with laughter.

"That bat girl is such a dope!" he chortled.

Cosmo laughed a lot harder that time.

"Your prank phone calls are getting funnier every time." she sniggered "Can you prank phone call my dad at all? That would be funny!"

"One phone call to Dark Oak, coming up!" said Tails happily.

He dialled a number.

RING! RING!

"Who is it?" snapped Dark Oak, picking up the phone and putting it to the side of his head.

"Someone you don't know." lied Tails "I've got a message for ya."

"Make it snappy!" growled Dark Oak "I'm busy getting ready for a Metarex invasion!"

"Do you eat fertilizer?" asked Tails mischievously.

"Of course I do!" snapped Dark Oak "I'm a plant!"

"Well I'm sorry to announce that they don't do fertilizer anymore." fibbed Tails "They sell gunpowder now but they call it fertilizer instead."

Dark Oak fell silent for a moment.

"So I've been eating gunpowder?" he asked.

"Yes." said Tails "If you don't wanna blow up then stay away from combat until it's fully digested."

"O.K. then." said Dark Oak "I shall postpone my fights until my gunpowder digests."

He hung up and began to twiddle his claws out of boredom.

"Now what shall I eat?" he wondered to himself.

Now Tails and Cosmo were both on the floor shrieking with hysterical laughter.

"That was a good one Tails!" giggled Cosmo.

"Poor Dark Oak won't be eating a thing for weeks!" laughed Tails "And we won't be getting any bother from him either!"

The moment they had stopped laughing Tails dialled another number.

"I can't wait to see what Knuckles is gonna say after this!" he chortled evilly as he waited for Knuckles to pick up.

Knuckles was just sitting on top of a mountain minding his business. It was quite peaceful where he was and he was enjoying it. Then his peace was disturbed by the sound of a ringing phone. He answered it.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Knuckles!" shrieked Tails on the other side of the phone "Rouge has just stolen the Master Emerald!"

"WHAT?" cried Knuckles "I'm gonna kill that bat now! Thanks for alerting me Tails!"

He hung up and ran down the mountain as fast as he could.

Tails hung up and shrieked with laughter.

"Poor Knuckles! He's so gullible he was bound to fall for that!" he laughed.

"The Master Emerald isn't really stolen is it?" asked Cosmo curiously.

"Oh no!" said Tails "It's just fine. I was only tricking Knuckles."

Then he stopped and thought for a moment. Who could he prank phone call next? Aha! He picked up the phone and dialled a number.

"Let's see if Amy falls for this classic joke!" he sniggered to himself.

Amy Rose was applying some make up on her eyelashes when the phone rang.

"Hello?" she answered cheerfully.

"Hi Amy." said Tails "Is your refrigerator running?"

"Is my refrigerator running?" repeated Amy "Um…yes why?"

"If your refrigerator is running you oughta catch it!" sniggered Tails "It just ran past my house a moment ago!"

"Oh no!" cried Amy "I'd best catch my fridge then!"

She hung up and got her Piko-Piko hammer ready. Then she ran out of her house and down the street, looking for her fridge which of course was still in her kitchen.

Tails was rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter.

"Oh my gosh! Amy's just as gullible as Knuckles!" he cried.

Cosmo however looked confused.

"Do fridges actually run?" she asked.

"No!" said Tails "Of course not! It's just a joke!"

"But it didn't make much sense." said Cosmo.

"Oh." said a disappointed Tails "But I've got a better one this time."

He dialled another number and waited for the person to pick up.

RING! RING!

"This is the ultimate life form speaking." came Shadow's low, dark voice on the other side of the phone.

"Hey Shadow is there a Mr. I'm-a-big-girl-who-loves-Sonic anywhere?" asked Tails.

"I'm a big girl who loves Sonic?" repeated Shadow.

"You're a girl?" shrieked Tails "I always thought you were a man! And I always thought you hated Sonic!"

"What?" said Shadow in confusion.

But Tails hung up, leaving the black hedgehog wondering what the heck just happened.

"Oh my gosh! I tricked Shadow into saying he's a girl!" laughed Tails.

His sides were aching so much it felt like he was going to burst. At least Cosmo was laughing this time.

"I always thought Shadow was too smart to fall for stuff like that!" she giggled.

"Well let's see if I can prank Eggman!" said Tails mischievously.

He dialled another number and waited for Eggman to pick up.

Dr. Eggman as usual was thinking of some crazy scheme to try out on Sonic when the phone rang.

"Hello?" he asked "Who is it?"

"Me." said Tails "Is it true you married a walrus Eggman?" he asked.

"I married a walrus?" asked Eggman uncertainly.

Tails snorted with laughter.

"You married a walrus?" he laughed "I hope you two have a happy marriage because a walrus and you go well together!"

Dr. Eggman's temper flared but before he could rant at Tails the mischievous fox had hung up.

"Remind yourself to hunt that fox down and destroy him!" he said to himself.

Tails and Cosmo were both rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter.

"Eggman is a bigger idiot then Knuckles and Amy!" chortled Tails.

"You don't say!" laughed Cosmo.

"I've got one last idea." said Tails when they finally stopped laughing "The one and only…Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"If you can prank him I'll give you a bear hug." joked Cosmo.

Tails laughed and dialled Sonic's number.

Sonic, as usual, was running around at sonic speed. After all he did enjoy running around day after day. His running was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. He screeched to a halt and answered.

"Yo! This is Sonic the Hedgehog." he said.

"Sonic!" cried Tails in a fake panicked tone "Help me! I'm on the edge of a cliff and I'm going to fall!"

"Oh no!" cried Sonic "I'm coming to get ya buddy!"

But before he hung up he heard a "YAAH HOO, HOO, HOO HOOEY!" on the other side of the phone and a big thud. Tails had played a clip from a Disney cartoon where Goofy did his famous holler and pounded the table for the thud effect. To Sonic that sounded like Tails had fallen and hit the ground. The poor hedgehog turned white all over.

"Tails has fallen!" he cried "I'd better help him!"

He hung up and ran off as fast as his speedy legs would carry him.

Tails and Cosmo exploded into a laughing fit that lasted five whole minutes. Once they'd gotten their breath back Tails said.

"What a prank!"

"I wonder what Sonic's gonna think when he finds out." sniggered Cosmo.

"I'm sure he'll just take it as a joke." said Tails "He's not one to get angry."

Tails was amazed how much he had amused himself with all these prank phone calls while it had been so dull outside. In fact the dull weather had subsided and the sun had come out but Tails and Cosmo didn't notice, they were too busy trying to decide who to prank next, when they heard a knock at the door.

"Who could that be?" said Tails.

Tails walked over to the door and opened it. His expression was indescribable, right there in front of him stood everybody he had pranked!

"There he is!" snarled Dark Oak

"The one who made me a look like a fool in front of the Black Arms!" growled Black Doom

"You insulted my butt!" growled Rouge

"You made me go on a wild goose chase over nothing!" cried Amy

"You scared the stuffing out of me!" cried Sonic

"You made me look like an idiot!" snarled Shadow.

"You made me attack Rouge for nothing!" yelled Knuckles

"You made me very angry!" yelled Dr. Eggman.

"You made me sound like I was gonna bite your head off!" snarled Vector "Well I'm going to now!"

"Um…bye!" squeaked Tails, darting out the back window faster then you could blink.

And with that everybody chased the terrified fox through Green Hill Zone for fifty miles! As for Cosmo? She was rolling around on the floor in hysterical laughter.

So moral of the story? Only prank phone call people you don't know! Or don't prank phone call anyone would be better…

I'm not really sure why i made a story with Tails prank phone calling people but i just thought it was a funny idea. What do you think? Reviews will be appreciated thanks.