Well, I'm back from the dead - you know, the incredible, mind-numbing braindeath that comes from too many exams all at once. But I have (almost) finished them, so here's a chapter to celebrate! I swear they get shorter every time... that's worrying...

I'm sorry it took so long to come out, but as I've already mentioned - exams. Fourteen of 'em, which made me chuckle.

Ohhhh, and by the by, I now have a yaoi/shonen-ai/slash/whatever account on Fictionpress - my name over there is Amiss Authenticity, so if you like my writing (and slash, of course) go take a peek... maybe leave a review... you know, the usual.

Yeah yeah, I don't own, blah-de-blah.

Well. This could certainly be awkward.

It certainly wasn't that Allen was unused to performing – there was a time when it had been his entire life, back when it was just him and Mana. However, he wasn't entirely sure that he was ready to play his uncle's songs in front of the Noah clan; the closest thing he had to a real family any more. Though, of course, they had no clue that he was related to Neah.

He could feel their surprised looks weighing heavily on his back, and he swallowed a little nervously – they knew that he worked two jobs, but they'd had no idea what his second source of income was.

The twins had thought prostitute, but Allen preferred not to think about that too much.

Still, he shifted a little on the bench to make himself comfortable, and placed the sheets in front of him carefully, though in truth he doubted he would be needing them. Most of the pieces he had been given tonight he already knew by heart anyway; regardless, it couldn't hurt to have them there just in case. Besides, appearances were everything when it came to a performance; it was one of the first things Mana had taught Allen as a child, wandering from circus to circus, staying in bed and breakfasts and roughing it on the streets when necessary.

It was why Allen always wore his gloves – the whole world is a stage, and everyone on it is obsessed with how one another look. If a couple of scraps of white fabric were all that it took to be accepted, then Allen wasn't complaining too much.

Taking a moment to close his eyes and compose himself, Allen rested his fingertips on the keys as he had learned to do and just let himself feel. No thought, no awareness – just emotion, running through him so strongly that he was almost afraid that the audience may see it beneath his skin.

Then, he started to play.

Technically speaking, Lullaby For A Lonely Night was one of the most difficult pieces that Allen had ever encountered, and that was certainly saying something. However, when played correctly, it sounded so completely effortless that even the most skilled musician could be fooled into thinking that it was a simple piece. His fingers knew the song even better than he did, and with every brush of the keys he felt just a little closer to Mana and Neah.

Beautifully soothing, Allen knew that the song was intended as a lullaby, even if Mana had never talked to him about it – Allen knew his father, and he knew about his uncle. The two boys had grown up with only each other, moved from children's homes to foster homes and back before they eventually aged out of the system and parted ways. However, when they were young, they would have had only one another for comfort – and Allen somehow got the feeling that Neah had written this piece sometime around then, as a way of helping his older brother relax and sleep.

When he was a child, Allen had sometimes lay in his room, pretending to be asleep so that he could hear Mana humming the song to himself as he sat by Allen's bedside, smoothing his then-brown hair. The memory brought a slight smile to Allen's face as he drifted gently towards the song's completion. He wondered if he was a lot like Neah – what it was about him that had first compelled Mana to take him in. His smile twisted slightly, and for a few seconds he had to struggle to keep the feel of the piece.

Twisting the very ending of the song and arcing into a bridge, Allen quickly ran through the list of songs in his head, already starting to adjust the tempo and tone of his playing so that he could move seemingly effortlessly into the next song. There was a smattering of applause as the audience finally realised that he had already completed one song, but many of the patrons were absorbed in their meals and paid little or no attention to him. That was perfectly fine with him – being ignored was, in his opinion, often preferable to being accepted. No one wanted him to change who he was if they didn't notice he was there.

It was only after he had finally finished and taken a bow that he realised he had not opened his eyes once throughout the performance.

The members of the family of Noah were many, many things – sick, twisted, sadistic, evil, cruel, selfish, ruthless, protective, loving, caring – but easily impressed they were not. This, however, was something else – they'd had absolutely no idea that Allen – their unofficial extra member – was so talented. Oh, Rhode knew that he played piano, of course (she knew everything about him, though no one was willing to ask how she got her information) but even she had never heard him play before.

Out of all of them, it was impossible to say who was the most surprised. Lulubelle's eyes had widened behind her glasses and her lips were slightly parted; a lollipop had fallen from Skinn's slack mouth; Tyki had choked on his wine and even now was a bit red in the face; Rhode's expression was a mixture of shock and delight; Wisely had somehow managed to keep a straight face, and was picking apart a bread roll, determinedly not looking at anyone or anything; the twins were complaining and plotting in the same breath... In actual fact, the only one seemingly completely unaffected by the shocking display of talent was the Earl himself.

"I told you he was superb," the Earl said indulgently, chuckling at the reactions of his startled family. Anita nodded and giggled demurely behind her hand – an incredulous sound that immediately drew everyone's attention and reminded them that she was still there.

"That you did, but I had no idea... I see what you meant, Earl, I really think that he could be..." She trailed off for a moment before shaking her head decisively. "Well, either way, it's definitely worth looking into."

Now thoroughly confused, the rest of the family stared around, feeling rather out of the loop; not for the first time.

"Well this was certainly enlightening," Wisely muttered eventually, flicking a lock of pale hair back from where it had escaped from his bandana. "Does anyone want the rest of my drink? I don't think I'm particularly thirsty anymore." There were negative murmurs from around the table, and Wisely shrugged, hailing a waiter who immediately took the empty (and in Wisely's case, half-full) glasses from them.

Rhode pouted sulkily, her bottom lip jutting out. "Why didn't Allen ever tell me how good he was? I deserved to know!" Tyki chuckled at that, as did several others, including the Earl and Anita.

"I'm sure that Allen doesn't feel that way," Wisely said reasonably. "He's a very private person – we shouldn't go butting in if we can help it. Let him open up to us when he's ready." Incredulous stares greeted his words; out of all of them, Wisely was possibly the most fascinated with gaining knowledge, particularly when it was other people's secrets. He said he liked the feeling of being able to 'look into their minds' – it was a form of amusement for him.

Rhode puffed her cheeks out in annoyance, but agreed with her... cousin? Half-cousin? Uncle? No one was quite sure of the family tree of the Noah – there were too many adoptions and half-relations. Once they had sat around a table and spent half an afternoon trying to figure it out – four sheets of A3 paper later, they decided that it really wasn't worth the effort and just resorted to calling themselves a clan.

Both Jasdero and Devitto looked as though they were already scheming about how they could use this information to their advantage, and even Lulubelle seemed quite interested. No one dared ask how the Earl had possibly known about this. There was, however, one thing that was bothering Tyki.

"The way the Cheating Boy played that first song – didn't it seem familiar to you?"

"Sounded like Fourteenth," Skinn grunted, fishing another sweet from within the depths of his coat. Eyes around the table widened as they thought back over the performance and realised that Skinn was right.

"He really did," Sheryl murmured. Tyki frowned slightly, wondering where all of this was leading – certainly nowhere good, if previous experiences were anything to go by. He just hoped that the Cheating Boy wasn't traumatised too badly; he had grown rather fond of the young man in the time that they had known one another, and it was no fun playing with a toy that was already broken.

From the corner of his eye, Tyki saw a flash of white hair – he tilted his head slightly and glanced over to see Allen scurrying out of the side entrance that was really only supposed to be used in the event of a fire or some such emergency. Such courses of action were most likely against the rules, and if Tyki had any sense of decency whatsoever then he should probably inform someone of Allen's hasty escape.

Well, Tyki had never claimed to have much of a sense of decency now, had he?

"Remind me just what you're doing in my apartment at quarter to eleven at night," Kanda growled as Lavi rummaged through his cupboards unashamedly. The redhead shrugged nonchalantly, producing a bowl of cereal and tearing it open, munching on a dry handful. He spoke around a mouthful, and Kanda thought that it was a miracle that pieces of cornflake weren't littering his carpet.

"'m waitin' for 'llen," Lavi managed to say, though the words were more than a little muffled. He swallowed heavily and tried again. "I'm waiting for Allen, and I lost the key that he gave me, so I thought I'd come over and say hi!"

"And steal my food?"

"Well, no, that's just an added bonus, right? 'Cause I'm your bestest buddy and all," Lavi said, his grin widening each time Kanda's eyebrow twitched. Recognising the behaviour, even after so many years without seeing his dark-haired friend, Lavi backed off slightly – even he was not suicidal enough to push Kanda any further than he already had. Kanda scowled as Lavi left the cupboards alone and plonked himself down on the sofa instead.

Eventually, Kanda just sighed and sat a few feet away from Lavi at the other end of the sofa. He shut his eyes and fought to ignore the headache building somewhere behind his eyes.

"So why are you visiting the moyashi at this time of night?" Kanda asked through gritted teeth. Not that he cared – it was just annoying to have people invading his home. Lavi didn't appear to hear him at first, and just continued staring off into space. Kanda opened his mouth, perfectly prepared to give the usagi a piece of his mind (because God knows he wasn't about to repeat himself) when Lavi finally decided to answer.

"When it gets to autumn, Allen always starts to get a bit depressed," he said slowly, puffing his cheeks out. "Not entirely sure why, but I've got a few guesses. It gets worse as the year carries on, and Christmas is the absolute worst. After that he cheers up again, but we try not to leave him alone to mope for too long, y'know?" Kanda didn't really know, but he agreed for the sake of getting the usagi to stop talking. That plan backfired, however, when Lavi seemed to take Kanda's agreement as encouragement.

"I mean, Allen's our friend, am I right? Yes, our friend, not mine because like it or not, he's going to dig himself a little spot somewhere in that frozen heart of yours – oh don't give me that look, Yuu. You can't help it when it comes to Allen; everyone falls in love with him at least once." Lavi's face was completely serious for once, so much so that Kanda almost – almost – believed him.

"You did?"

"Yep."

"Lenalee did?"

"For over a year."

"Komui did?"

"Hey, he lets Allen touch Lenalee; if that isn't love, I don't know what is." Kanda didn't know whether he ought to be amused, shocked or disgusted, so in the end he settled for a slightly disconcerted look that really wasn't all that different from the rest of his limited facial expressions.

The usagi could say what he like about everyone loving the moyashi – Kanda knew it was bullshit. It was impossible to be liked by absolutely everybody; that was common knowledge. Still, he couldn't help but think back to earlier, when he had bumped into the moyashi – the two people that were with him had seemed close to him, certainly, but in love? Then there was the way that Lavi and Lenalee spoke of him. Adoring, indulgent and, well... loving.

God, it was enough to make Kanda sick.

Still, he supposed it was bearable, since those looks weren't being directed at him anymore. He could deal with this – he didn't have that much of a choice, all things considered. He just had to put up with it until he could afford to move somewhere further away from the geezer.

"Hey Yuu, can I crash here tonight?" Lavi asked suddenly, and Kanda almost throttled him there and then for even thinking of such a ridiculous suggestion. "It's just, my apartment's so cold and lonely, and Allen's not home yet to keep me company, and I don't want to be on my own, so can I stay here, please?"

"Che, and you really think my company's better than being on your own?" Kanda asked sarcastically. Lavi nodded with no small amount of enthusiasm, and Kanda sighed.

"Fine. Whatever. Just keep it down, and if you fucking snore, I'm kicking you out the window."

Lavi gasped in mock horror. "Out the window? You can't think of something more creative than that? You're losing your touch, Yuu-chan." Kanda didn't bother to honour that with a reply, lifting his chin and stalking away to leave Lavi to his giggles. He hadn't heard the moyashi return yet, but then again, he may have just missed it due to the ruckus the usagi made.

Rummaging around in the bottom of the linen closet for a few seconds, Kanda eventually produced a couple of pillows and a blanket, which he tossed carelessly at Lavi. He wasn't about to lend him any pyjamas, though – the usagi would just have to sleep in his clothes.

Yawning behind his hand, Lavi mumbled a 'G'night, Kanda' before rolling over on the narrow sofa (which was rather impressive in and of itself) before falling asleep almost immediately. Kanda shook his head and would later deny any sort of fondness that absolutely did not well up inside of him. He was just... glad that the usagi wasn't bothering him now that he was asleep.

With a heavy sigh and a slight scowl, Kanda changed quickly, resolving to have a shower in the morning, since it was clearly too late now – where was the moyashi, anyway? Not that he cared. He was just mad that he'd been stuck with the usagi for so long for real reason that he could discern.

Throwing himself down onto his bed, Kanda strained his ears subconsciously, though he couldn't hear any sounds that might suggest the moyashi's presence. Suddenly realising what he was doing, Kanda clenched his fists to stop himself from punching something. He scowled, turning over and closing his eyes, now more determined to go to sleep that before.

He wasn't about to admit (either to himself, nor anyone else) that he couldn't settle properly until he heard the sound of movement in the apartment over from him. It wouldn't do to have people thinking he'd gone soft and was worrying about someone.

Still, as he finally managed to drift off to sleep, Lavi's words rang in his ears once again, gently mocking him.

Everyone falls in love with Allen at least once.

Tapping his fingers somewhat nervously on his desk, Link stared at the wooden door in front of him, almost willing it not to open. This wasn't something that he wanted to deal with tonight of all nights; he had been planning on meeting with some of his extended family, yet instead he found himself holed up in his office with little to no clue as to what he was doing there.

He had received a call earlier from Leverrier saying that there had been some difficulties for him on the road, so Link would have to remain at the station for another half an hour or so and deal with whatever came his way.

Though it was not really his place to say, he thought that Chief Inspector Leverrier could be a bit of a bastard at times. Had he really been stuck in traffic, the Link would have heard the background noise of the road over the phone. Instead, all he heard was what sounded rather suspiciously like virtual solitaire (Link only knew what this sounded like due to a certain someone's habit of playing whilst he was supposed to be on duty).

Speaking of a certain someone, the door opened to reveal a somewhat irate red-haired girl chewing gum obnoxiously loud and glaring at Link as though he was the root of all evil. He sighed.

"What do you need, Fou?" Link asked, and Fou popped a chewing gum bubble before replying.

"Bak just called – he's gonna be comin' in in a minute to file some report or other; just thought I'd warn ya," she said, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorframe. "Said he saw that girl today – whaserface, Lenalee? Yeah, her, so watch out. He'll be crazy for hours." Link frowned, and folded his hands on his desk, mentally cursing Leverrier to the deepest circle of Hell, though he would never say so aloud.

"Alright, thank you for the warning." Link didn't bother to comment that such occurrences were horrifically common when it came to Bak – both of them were well aware of it, after all.

Fou nodded and turned to leave, before something seemed to occur to her and she turned back around to face him. "And Bak also said that he saw the Walker kid today as well – the boy said hello." Her face softened a little when she caught how Link's jaw tightened and his eyes shifted subtly. She should have known better than to bring it up. "He's a good kid, Link. He turned out just fine, so stop working yourself up over stuff ya control."

"I know, I know. Thanks, Fou," he said, closing his eyes and trying to will away the morbid thoughts.

"Yeah. See ya," she said, and Link could hear the soft click as the door shut behind her. Slumping onto the desk and groaning quietly, Link tried to push all thoughts of Allen Walker from his head – this thing with Bak would take his full concentration and will to live, as it always did.

You're a policeman, he told himself sternly. You may not be perfect, but you're good at your job, and you can't keep worrying about something that happened six years ago. It isn't even your business anymore...

Oh, who was he kidding? Allen Walker would always be his business.

Oh hai thar Linky-poo. See, see - more characters have dropped in to say hello :) But what will happen next chapter?

Will Kanda finally admit to having feelings? Will Lenalee find a way to matchmake her boys? Will Allen come of of the closet? Will Lavi quite being a perv? Will the creepy stalker guy quite being creepy and, well, a stalker?

Find out, only in the next episode of The Jerk, The Clown And The Wardrobe.

Please review. For me?