I my defense...I was stuck in a car for seven hours with naught but the LoTRs books to keep me company. This was an insane thought that popped into my mind after we got caught in traffic for the nth time.
Warnings: Legolas' anger and Gimli's dwarf lack of knowledge.
However...
"DWARF! If you make one single more comment on that matter I WILL by every ounce of power in my body launch your bearded head into the air and PIN IT TO THAT TREE BY YOUR TONGUE!" Screamed a very very very annoyed Legolas while gesturing at a nearby pine that was close to 50 feet tall. He literally had to force his hands from his bow. He clenched all muscles in an attempt to not slay his 'companion' where he stood.
You see Legolas generally is a calm natured elf. He kept good natured when confronted by guards, orks, and the like. Whether it be placating his egotistical hot-headed father or fighting off a group of orks from his 'bodyguards' he always kept a level temper and calm disposition. He showed off when necessary, he kept silent when it was wise, and on this journey of impossible odds. He being the only elf, kept himself silent except small talk, scout talk, or conversations with Mithrandir and Estel.
However…
When paired with a loud-mouthed biased dwarf Legolas' golden control flew away from him as if by a curse.
"Mellon-nin, please Gimli won't do it again," Estel swore to him in Elvish while the other human kept Gimli silent and Mithrandir chuckled in the background. "Gimli, shut your mouth!" The Hobbit watched with glee, surprise, and awe. They'd not seen the Master Elf this angered in the first month they'd been on the road.
"He better not!" Legolas insisted his face slightly pink with fury. None but Estel and Mithrandir had seen the Elven Prince this angry before.
"I'd like to see ya' try laddie," Gimli teased. Legolas' brow twitched in anger and Estel groaned miserably. Boromir stepped away from the ego-blinded dwarf. Legolas utilized a flash of his ethereal strength and speed to kick and launch a log that was about Gimli sized about ten feet into the air before letting fly three swift arrows. They broke the log in three and each pinned a piece going up the tree, the first at twenty feet the next up by a foot and the last up from the first by two feet.
"That! Is what will happen should you ever insinuate I am akin to a fragile human maiden ever again you uncouth, rude, inane DWARF!" Legolas thundered. His pale hair swinging as he stalked out of the current camp with an angry grunt that sounded like ti came from a wounded animal less a majestic elf.
And from that moment on during that trek, Gimli, Boromir, Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Frodo were taught a lesson both Mithrandir and Estel had learned many a decade ago…
Legolas is very comely, Legolas has nice hair, Legolas has fair skin, Legolas is slight of frame, and Legolas has a mild tempered heart and kind soul.
However…
Legolas could and would also kick their asses to Mirkwood and back!