The Library Chronicles: A Chance Encounter

A/N: So, I was on DeviantArt, discussing Rossiu from Gurren Lagann and how he came to be cooler than either he or Kamina ever dreamed in the end. When I thought about how much the two of them would have to say to each other on the subject, this library chronicle fic was born. I may write more library chronicle stories in the future, depending. I OWN NOTHING!

Kamina was in a room, surrounded by books. This was strange to him- he had never seen so many books before. There was almost no reading material in Giha village, where he had come from; and so he had never learned to read."Where am I?" he wondered aloud.

"You're beyond the fourth wall," came a voice, which sounded like one Kamina had heard before, a few volumes higher. That was when he saw the table, at which a young man, some years older, was sitting and reading a book. The man had long black hair, tied in a sleek ponytail; and he wore a long white robe. Once Kamina had a good look at him, he recognized him at once.

"Hey, it's Forehead Boy!" Kamina exclaimed, sauntering up to the table, "I didn't know you could read!"

"I've had lots of time to learn," said Rossiu, with a rather smug little smile, "I'm now the leader of Kamina City."

"You... the leader of...?" Kamina was astounded, "Kamina... City? You named a city after me? and you... you were put in charge? When the hell did that happen?"

"You could stand to read your own story," said Rossiu, flashing the cover of the book he was reading. On it, Kamina could see a picture of himself.

"What is this?" Kamina demanded, "And how did my face get on a book?" Although, he thought as he looked at it, it wasn't a bad likeness. He grinned. "I'm on a book," he squeaked in joy.

"It's simple, really," said Rossiu clinically, "Once you died, Simon and all his friends, including me, helped defeat Lordgenome, and we established a civilization. Now Simon's off doing his own thing and I operate the government."

"You... rule... the government?" Kamina went on.

"Yeah," said Rossiu, "It pays to have a cooler head sometimes. I can make people feel safe. Like a real government official." Rossiu nearly burst out laughing when he saw the astounded expression on Kamina's face. "Oh, by the way," he went on, savoring the moment, "I've also gotten so hot over the years, that I now have tons of fangirls."

"M-my... fangirls...?" said Kamina weakly.

"No, not your fangirls; they still like you," said Rossiu.

"Well, that's good," said Kamina, "I mean, for a second there, I was afraid..."

"But now I have fangirls, too," Rossiu went on, "And then there's Kinon, my adorable girlfriend..."

"You have a g-girlfriend?" Kamina.

"Yes I do," said Rossiu, "I'm not even going to have to die a virgin for being so cool-headed and thoughtful!"

"You...? That's hardly fair!" Kamina burst out, "I am the great Kamina, the greatest anime character in the history of great anime characters! I'm the ultimate in strength and masculinity, and... this guy... g-gets to lose his virginity...!"

"Who's laughing at whose forehead now, Kamina?" Rossiu challenged.

"Ooh, you are so...!" Kamina hissed. But then he thought of something else. "Simon!" he said suddenly, "Simon's the main character of the goddamn show! He's... okay with all this?"

"Yeah," said Rossiu, "He and I are friends. He's perfectly okay with me ruling the city as long as he gets to go out fighting."

"Oh... well," said Kamina, "This is a fighting anime, so I guess that's fair. And hey, at least he's doing the really cool stuff!" His face lit up.

"Come to think of it," said Rossiu, leaning his head back, "It is really hard leading the city. There was this time where I had to jail Simon and nearly execute him, just to save face."

Kamina jumped in shock, "You did WHAT?"

"Oh... never mind," said Rossiu, his face serious now, "It's complicated. Simon's job is so much easier. After an attempt to save people from the falling moon didn't go according to plan I nearly killed myself, and he and Kinon had to save me."

"You nearly killed yourself?" said Kamina, "And what's with the falling moon! Are you sure you're in the same show as I was?"

"Oh, it's the same show, alright," said Rossiu, "But things have gotten a lot more serious since you died. I've practically been Lelouch Lamperouge for most of my screentime."

"Who?" said Kamina.

But Rossiu wasn't listening anymore. "In fact, I've been suffering about as much as Lelouch, to even less applause."

"You've lost me-"

"And all those people who hate me completely irrationally just for turning against Simon..."

"Well, Simon is-"

"Or just hate me for no discernible reason at all, and wish I were dead." Rossiu sank a few inches down into the sofa cushions. "And nobody even realizes that saving face for the people is just what a government should do and the biggest contrast with the first part of the show..."

"Some completely random stranger wants you to die?" said Kamina, deciding to ignore the finer points of what Rossiu had just said. "You're gonna let a bunch of outsiders you won't ever meet tell you who you are?" Now he was gripping Rossiu by the shoulders. "Nobody makes fun of a Team Dai-Gurren member unless I, the mighty Kamina, say so!"

"When did you get so protective of me?" Rossiu inquired.

"Hey, I take care of my own," said Kamina, "Haven't you noticed that with Simon and Yoko and those others? Just what kind of inspiration to all around me would I be if not?" His voice suddenly became more matter-of-fact: "Besides, to get such an unpopular character that doesn't even die into the spotlight'll bring down the show's popularity fast. Remember Kaname Ohgi and Shinji."

Now it was Rossiu's turn to wonder who Kamina was talking about; but he refrained from asking, determined to control the conversation still. "Ah, well...," he said, "Simon still trusted me enough to make me the city's president in the end."

"See, there you go...," Kamina stopped suddenly. "He what? Say, just where is Simon now?"

"Well, after he has no more enemies to fight," Rossiu chose his words carefully, so as not to overload Kamina with details he wouldn't understand, "He just goes off wandering around the world. Those two kids Gimmy and Darry get to pilot Gurren Lagann now. They're doing a very good job with it." Rossiu nodded approvingly.

"WHA-?" Kamina had never imagined anyone but Simon piloting Gurren Lagann.

"Oh, never mind," said Rossiu, "Maybe if you learned how to read you could read the rest of the story." He indicated the comic books strewn across the table. "Sit down- we'll be here awhile."

"Aah, what the hell, Forehead Boy?" said Kamina, "It's not like they need me anymore!" He plunked himself on the sofa beside Rossiu and picked up a book at random. "So, what's this?"

"Well," said Rossiu, "That's the story of how we stormed the hideout of Lordgenome- he's the guy who made all those Beastmen you were up in arms about- and defeated him..."

"Say," said Kamina, "I'm feeling kinda hungry. Is there anyplace to eat around here?"

"There's plenty of coffee shops and restaurants across the street," said Rossiu, "But we don't have any money."

"Bah! What is money to the mighty Kamina? Restaurants everywhere are happy to serve him whatsoever he may choose!"

"Great, great, what about me?" said Rossiu.

"Oh, they'll surely do anything I say, including feed you, Forehead Boy!"

"Is it too much to ask for you to stop calling me that?"

"Oh, come on, cut the mighty Kamina some slack here, alright? I'm getting you a free lunch, whether you like it or not!"

"Okay...," was all Rossiu could weakly reply.

With that, the two of them left the library and made their way to a small restaurant some ways down the street. What shocked Kamina and Rossiu was the realization that the only people in the restaurant were four Beastmen: a blue gorilla man and a yellow armadillo man worked in the kitchen, while a green gamecock man stood at the restaurant's door and a red scorpion lady milled in the background. "Aww, man!" Kamina shrieked, "Why didn't you tell me the restaurant was operated by Beastmen?"

"Not just any Beastmen either," Rossiu muttered under his breath, "These are the four generals of Lordgenome, or were, before we killed them all."

"What?" said Kamina, "What the hell did I miss?"

"Um... we'd better leave," said Rossiu.

"Nonsense!" said Kamina, "There's no way these furballs won't serve us! Even former villains tremble in awe of Kamina, the paragon of strength and masculinity!" He struck a dramatic pose, but his voice became flatter when he noticed the indignant stares from everyone, including Rossiu, "Seriously, any fangirl reading this is going to be cheering for me right about now. Just go with it."

The four Beastmen seemed no happier to see more Gurren Lagann humans. The green one walked up to the two of them robotically and said in a flat, expressionless voice: "Hello, my name is Cytomander and I will be your server tonight. Please follow me to the nearest table." As Kamina and Rossiu did so, Kamina said:

"Who the heck is this guy?"

"I'll explain it all at the table."

Once they had situated themselves and ordered food and drinks, Rossiu began telling the story (very quietly, so as not to offend any of their hosts), from start to finish, and by the time they were eating, he had begun to teach Kamina the basics of how to read, so he could go over the finer points for himself. The meal, they were surprised to learn, was delicious.

Their problems started when Cytomander returned, asking for the bill. "Sorry, featherbrain," said Kamina, "We're broke."

"How dare you call me that?" Cytomander burst out, "I am Cytomander the Swift, Lordgenome's proud General of Air! If I were alive I would never let you give me this crap! I would..." But he was cut off by the yellow armadillo man, who had emerged from the kitchen.

"You can't pay," said the armadillo man.

"No," said Rossiu.

"Well," said the armadillo man, turning to Rossiu, "Is this young man a friend of yours?"

"Um... yes," said Rossiu, "He used to be, but he was dead by the time you came into the picture."

"I was the one who killed him... just lest we forget!" the blue gorilla man asserted from behind the kitchen stove.

"Why you bastard!" Kamina shouted, "You come down here and fight me one on one! I'll show you what I can do!" But then he calmed down, "But then again, it's at least indirectly thanks to you that Simon became the hero of the story. And these others, too. Thank you all for killing me!" he shouted to everyone in the restaurant, waving his hands around, "You guys are great!"

"What you need is a good whipping!" hissed the scorpion lady, who only now appeared before the rest of the group.

"Oh, no!" Rossiu shouted, "Oh, no! I'm not taking any of this crap from you! I am the ruler of all that is serious in the Gurren Lagann universe! This was all his idea!" He indicated Kamina.

"Be that as it may," the armadillo man continued calmly, "There is an appropriate way to punish you. And I suggest you agree- there's no way you could fight us here. No Gunmen to help you and for once you'd look like the bad guys."

"The mighty Kamina bows before no one!" Kamina shouted, "And never looks bad!"

"Kamina... they may have a point here," Rossiu pointed out. "This is their restaurant, and we did just come here and order." He faced the armadillo man, "Okay, I understand your terms. What punishment are you proposing?"

"Oh, standard punishment for not paying restaurant bills," said the armadillo man with a smirk, "Come with me."

"I don't want to see a single spot on those dishes!" demanded the scorpion lady, Adiane, as she swung her whip at Kamina and Rossiu for the millionth time that day. Fortunately for Rossiu, Kamina intercepted the whip with his own body.

"The mighty Kamina, always willing to sacrifice for the sake of friends!" Kamina cheered happily, as he and Rossiu went about their washing.

"It's a fine mess you've gotten me into," Rossiu grumbled. "Tricking me into breaking the law, saddling me with this stupid, pointless punishment and these guys," he indicated the four Beastmen, "That I was trying to forget about all this time..."

"Hey, listen, Furball," said Kamina, signaling the yellow armadillo man, Guame, "How did you get to be such a good cook?"

"Oh, that," said Guame, beaming, "That has a lot to do with what happened once we got here. We figured that as minor villains, we didn't have very good prospects with our own afterlives," he said, "So, we decided to stay here. Got ourselves a job. Not that we have many customers. No one here does."

"I still say you should let Adiane work the front of the house," said the blue gorilla man, Thymilph, "She's the prettiest thing in this place," he added dreamily.

"And scare away all the customers?" said Cytomander, "No way!"

"I heard that, you!" Adiane hollered, brandishing her whip.

"But that's our side of the story," said Guame, "If you two are good little puppies, maybe I'll tell it to you once everything is clean." He folded his arms and surveyed Kamina and Rossiu smugly, "And I do mean, everything."

"Wow!" said Kamina, "Apart from all this cleaning, and all that killing, these guys aren't so bad after all!"

"You say that, only because you never had to fight any of them except the one!" Rossiu argued.

"But look, no hard feelings for getting all of them killed!" Kamina pointed out. "You worry too much, you little emo boy!" he said affectionately, rubbing Rossiu's head as they went about their work.

Rossiu no longer felt like arguing that he had good reason to be gloomy, or just how surprising it was that none of these generals had any hard feelings against him. He just gave a sigh, and continued his work without complaint.

The End

A/N: And that was my first story in the Library Chronicles. Sorry if anyone's OOC here, but they're so far removed from canon that the main point was to have them discuss meta concepts. If you see anything about characterization or what-have-you that bothers you, just tell me and I'll see what I can do to fix it (that's more reasonable than, "Eew, Rossiu having the upper hand on Kamina like since when why are you even here you jerkass";))

Oh, yeah, and if (or when...) this gets enough good reviews, I WILL write about how the Beastmen generals set up shop here- including cooking lessons XD