Empty

My name is Luna, Luna Lovegood. I know I'm thought of as peculiar. I know they watch me, waiting for the moment my thoughts break the silence.

Only it isn't silent. A word is always being spoken, somewhere in the world, so, when you think about it, there is no silence… Of course, I know what people mean when they say things are silent… But it is a cause for thought. To me.

To me. To me. Why can't they just, for once, not try to understand me?

Because I'm Luna Lovegood. Because I'm Loony Lovegood. I'm laughable, an outsider. But I am not a liar. I won't pretend to be someone I'm not.

Would my opinion be taken seriously? Maybe, to some… But not all, most definitely not all.

I've had an adventure… And it was thrilling. A thing I think of, proud that I would be trusted to accompany. I was 'Me'. I was away from the 'normal'. Away form the 'ordinary'. I seek refuge in the bizarre, as I can't be out of place there… Like I am here.

Smile. It confuses people.

It's rather strange, though, even for me, that my head is full of thoughts. Mainly because, even with these thoughts in abundance, I feel empty. At home, I can lie on my bed and gaze at my wall, at the little portraits that hang there, the portraits of my friends… And I'm sad. But I smile. It confuses people. My 'friends' don't write to me… but I don't mind. I'm just glad they exist, that they make me feel less empty. So I smile.

At Hogwarts, people will take my things. It's not a matter of, 'they might take my things.' It is always going to happen. I always find them, though, but it does take a little effort…I smile through it all.

My idea of a smile is not what others would call a smile. My expression is that of… wonderment. My imagination is, after all, a vast place, and that makes me 'smile'.

People may glance at me, see my awed expression, and assume that I'm thinking of the bizarre, as usual… But only so much can be thought of, and I smile at that thought… that thought. When you say you are not thinking, you are really thinking about how you think you are not thinking, when you have just thought it yourself: you thought you weren't thinking. Which means you were thinking the whole time…

So why, may I ask, when I am always thinking… Do I feel so empty?