I have no idea how this happened. It just sorta spewed out in the early hours of the morning. I was giggling the entire time I was writing it, though. xD

Enjoy the cracky fluff.


Toothless has concluded that humans like to be alone when they mate.

Toothless has also concluded that they tend to be very loud when they mate.

Toothless has additionally discovered that humans are not very friendly creatures when they are interrupted during the mating process.

He finds all of this out one lovely summer afternoon, when he wishes to go riding and he can't find Hiccup anywhere. He begins to look around, feeling slightly jealous of the other dragons lazily floating in the currents of the sky. Toothless sniffs the air, barely catching Hiccup's scent to the east. He ambles in that general direction, towards both Hiccup's house and the forge. The soon-to-be-chieftain's house and the forge are relatively close in proximity. Toothless sniffs them both out before deciding to try the house. He hears voices inside, anyway.

Toothless nudges open the door to the home and sees signs of recent activity everywhere. A few of Hiccup's sketches are littered about, as well as a few key clothing items Toothless is sure Hiccup needs to be happy. A small sense of worry begins to grow inside him. He hears a loud noise upstairs and his ears perk slightly in alarm. Toothless gallops upstairs, barely thinking, merely wishing to protect his human. He lunges through the doorway (with a small amount of difficulty) and skids to a halt. He studies the scene before him, satisfied that Hiccup is not injured and quite well, as he seems to be very happily vocal and his mate even more so.

Both humans are located on that strange square nest that they sleep in; only his human and his human's mate are not sleeping. They aren't wearing anything, either. Toothless finds this strange. They are instead moving together, rather quickly and rhythmically, and Toothless realizes that this must be mating for humans. It's very odd, he thinks. They're facing each other, how strange, and covered in sweat, that's interesting, and making odd noises, different from the normal ones he hears.

Toothless processes all of this within three seconds, as by that time, he's finally skidded to a stop and Hiccup and Astrid have stopped their activity and are staring at Toothless with mixed shock, horror, and disbelief. Toothless looks back at them and smiles innocently.

He finds himself outside and riderless one full minute later.


I picture Toothless's face at ze ending as this: -_-;

Review, my sweet darling readers! I love you all. :D