A/N: This is an odd concept but it kind of suits where I am right now because I keep having all these little, unlinked ideas for St. Berry stories, but they don't fit into my multi-chaptered stories. So I came up with this 'What if' idea. It's basically going to be a bunch of hypothetical one-shots that are all unrelated (apart from the fact they contain St. Berry.) Some are totally unrealistic – hence the 'what if' title – others are simply little ideas that are not developed enough to be a stand alone. This one takes part after the episodes on the show but apart from that, there's no real time aspect. It first came into play after seeing Inception, and it'll become pretty obvious during the story which bit I was influenced by! But I hope this little one shot is okay and as always, read, review and enjoy!

What if Jesse and Rachel were spies?

"I vote Rachel," Kurt announces quickly before turning to the rest of the group, who greet him with choruses of agreement. Kurt shrugs to Rachel and takes a seat, delicately crossing one leg over the other.

"Listen, I really think we should think about this with a bit more logic – "

"Berry, it's unanimous; you're going." Santana ends the conversation, frankly because she's bored of it already.

"Unanimous is next to Pluto, right?"

"That would be Uranus, Brittany." Kurt places a dramatic hand to his head and rolls his eyes. "And it's next to Neptune, not Pluto." Rachel stands with her hands precariously on her hips and her eyes narrowed in aggravation.

"Just so you all know, I don't appreciate you all ganging up on me. This totally goes against all of my morals." Quinn rolls her eyes, a subdued smile playing on her lips – she doesn't think she'll ever get bored of Rachel's drama.

"You're the only one they won't suspect as being a spy."

"Yeah, they'll think you're some lost tourist or something." Santana adds (unnecessarily) and Quinn can't help but emit the softest laugh under her breath. Rachel broods on the spot until Mr Schue walks in and the conversation falls short until the end of practice.

"Get going, Rachel." Kurt whispers as he gives Rachel a prod out McKinley's doors. "And for goodness sake don't get caught."

She narrows her eyes at Kurt but before she can manifest a meticulous reply, the rest of New Directions scatter and Rachel's left to go to Carmel High alone.

That is until she spots someone crouching down beside her, once she's settled at the back of Vocal Adrenaline's rehearsal.

"What are you doing here?" She hisses a sharp whisper in his direction and he sees no point in lying.

"Shelby sent me to get the low down on the new VA." So it seemed Shelby wasn't as ready to give it all up as she'd thought. Or Jesse was stalking her. Both were viable options, Rachel mused.

"And you just jumped on a plane and flew back for that?"

"It was my mother's birthday yesterday," he informs her, each letter forming bitter words upon his tongue. "Apparently it's a necessity to be present for such momentous occasions, even if she struggles to remember mine."

He laughs hollowly and it's a little too loud. Rachel covers his mouth with her hand as a few members on the stage begin to stare up in their direction. She's getting flustered because she really doesn't like all this spying and she's sure they're about to be found out. And as if matters couldn't get any worse, she's hiding behind rows of seats with Jesse St. James, of all people. And he's about to remind her just who he is (because no one shuts him up and gets away with it.) So he takes his time, selects the most opportune moment and just as she peers over the top of the seat to ensure they've not been discovered, he leisurely takes his tongue up the palm of her hand, relishing the faint taste of lemon bursting his every taste bud. She instantly squeals and yanks her hand away from his face, wiping it frantically on the back of the seat in front of her. He merely arches an eyebrow – Did you really think you could silence Jesse St. James? – and she's desperate to wipe that smug smile off his perfectly groomed face. But her plans to bring him down are quickly thwarted as the music from the stage is turned off and given that last time she came into contact with Vocal Adrenaline Rachel was pounded with eggs, she's less than willing to go and greet them again. And it seems Jesse isn't too kind on the idea either and promptly makes for the exit, leaving Rachel trailing behind him, following him like he always knew she would. He's come to the conclusion that it's his hair; it does things to women he still can't yet understand (but he flaunts it at every given occasion, naturally.) And of course, now is no different as the two stand in the car park, so very breathless and red in the face, and just as she looks up to tell him exactly what she thinks of his little stunt back there, he runs a slow hand through his hair and suddenly her thoughts seem to jar – just for a second – before she quickly remembers what she was about to say. It's a gift he wouldn't ever wish to relinquish and though Rachel's quicker to recover than most girls, not quick enough to stop him getting the first word in.

"Did you have to squeal so loudly?" He's putting on an air of mock exasperation but Rachel's too close to boiling point to care whether it's faked or not.

"Let's just take time to focus on the important features of your little stunt back there. You licked my hand, my actual hand Jesse." Rachel waves said hand – with all fingers stretched out widely – in his face but he merely pushes it out the way.

"You were suffocating me."

"I was not." Though suffocating Jesse right now doesn't seem like such a bad idea. But before she can act upon such an impulse, hoards of voices start to be heard in the distance. Whatever way they run, they're about to collared by members of Vocal Adrenaline. So Jesse does the only thing he can think of.

"Kiss me, quickly." He gives her no time do anything but respond and her body reacts in a way that gives her away completely. His hands grab her hair and her eyes are tightly squeezed shut, and they must do a convincing job because most of the group walk past, not even acknowledging the pair of them. A few guys notice and dutifully begin cat calling – 'Get in there, my man!" – as they run past. Rachel feels Jesse smirk against her lips and she instantly regains the gravity of the situation and pulls swiftly away.

"I cannot believe that." I cannot believe you is what she's really thinking. She's staring at him with such an incredulous look he just has to play along and peers over the back of his shoulder as if he's searching for who she's talking to.

"No, neither can I. Not one of them even recognised me." He's a little put out and Rachel's the smug one now because Jesse's ego has totally been deflated by it.

"Hurts, doesn't it? To have people you care about toss you aside like you're nothing." She doesn't look at his eyes because her eyes are very much the doorways to her soul and she's bared enough of that to him already. And he knows (of course he knows) that she's talking about him but she's not brave enough to say it. And he doesn't really blame her.

"You will never be nothing, Rachel." He ties to talk to her softly, tell her that she's worth ten of him (and more) but things like that don't work with Jesse. Not anymore.

"I know that. It's just a shame you didn't." And with that she takes off home, not with the knowledge of Vocal Adrenaline that she came for, but with something fairly more substantial. But not before Jesse can say his piece – he's been waiting for months to tell her – and now he's got the chance, he's going to make her listen if it's the last thing he does.

"I'm not going to beg you to forgive me – "

"Good," she retorts, "Because I'm not going to." She's defiant and determined and he notices just a little bit of boldness in her that he's never seen before.

"But it's pretty clear you've missed me." He simply can't help himself. It's an automatic personality trait of his, his defence mechanism that always comes into play. She finally stops and turns to face him because such an accusation is so far off the mark, she has to challenge it. She raises an eyebrow that says 'Oh, really' but he just smirks in return.

"You kissed me," he tells her simply and he can tell from the way she keeps folding her arms tighter and tighter across her chest that she still finds him infuriating.

"I think you'll find you kissed me," she retorts because there's no way she'd voluntarily kiss Jesse. Or so she tells herself.

"That's irrelevant," he shrugs because he really doesn't think it matters who initiated it. The fact is, she responded whether she wanted to or not and that tells him all he needs to know. She scoffs and begins walking away from him again and she finds that it's so much easier now (though she can't help herself from glancing over her shoulder once or twice.) And of course he's following her, simply because he has nothing better to do.

"Jesse." She sighs his name and he grins because he's sure he's the only one who makes her this aggravated. And whilst he's not sure why he takes pride in this fact, it still makes him follow her all the more. "Go home."

He doesn't, he follows her all the way back to hers and she half expects him to try and kiss her on the doorstep. But he doesn't, he hovers for a few seconds, then turns on the spot and walks off and somehow, that's more infuriating than if he'd have kissed her. He smirks to himself as he hears her exhale sharply at his actions and as she runs up to her room to watch him walk away, he turns his head to look at her from a good few metres away and she quickly ducks out of his view. He laughs and carries on walking, whilst she feels her phone buzz in her pocket.

You need to learn to be a better spy, Rachel. But don't worry; I take all forms of payment.

She doesn't give him the benefit of a reply but nor can she hide the involuntary smile that's growing on her face because he really is unbelievable. He thinks he's so clever (he is) but he's right, she supposes. Her spying on Vocal Adrenaline failed and she's going to go back to New Directions without any new information (apart from the information she's going to keep to herself: Jesse still likes her.) But somehow, knowing that is more than worthwhile.