DISCLAIMER: The plot belongs to me but all things Twilight belong to the lovely Stephenie Meyer

Author's Note: I know it has been beyond forever since I updated last. I know that. And I apologize a million times over but crap happens and life happens and fanfiction gets put on the backburner. I hope you understand. But I promise all my stories will get finished no matter how long it takes me. Love you guys. Thank you for all the concern. Now! A few people have been wondering if Truck-Napper and DB are already married in this one. They aren't. This is a SPIN OFF not a SEQUEL. This isn't happening after the ending of truck-napper but covering something that happened within the story but was too long to include, ie: their trip to Chicago. I hope that helps. Enjoy!


Robbed? It didn't look like anything had been stolen but what did I know? I'd never been here before. Maybe they only took the cool stuff. Honestly I wouldn't have taken any of this stuff either.

I watched different shades of surprise flit accross Edward's face until recognition landed and then reservation. He mumbled something under his breath about finding the person that let 'her' in.

"Robbed?" I finally asked.

"In reverse," he corrected with a sigh.

I blinked at him, still not getting it.

"Were there two ugly flower paintings before?"

He shot me a look before walking to the wall and pounding on it twice.

"I know you did this," he informed the wall.

I was startig to wonder if my soon to be husband was losing it. I can just imagine the scene now: "I don't know officer, that ugly flower painting over there was just the last straw, total catalist."

But then the wall released a burly laugh. Wow, for such a girly appartment the walls sounded really manly.

"Did what, Edwardo?" the wall asked unconvincingly.

Edward rolled his eyes.

"Your walls talk," I smirked, sideling up beside him. "Very James Bond. I still can't forgive the flower painting though."

The wall laughed.

"She left flower paintings?" the burly wall cackled. "Dude, that sucks."

"They're water colors," I informed the wall, which I'd decided to call Floyd.

Edward sent me a look meant to peg me as a traitor and I shrugged.

"I like Floyd," I said in a twisted explination/defense.

He frowned.

"Who is Floyd?"

I pointed to the puppy painting hanging by where the voice was coming from. Hs lips quirked up before he shook his head at me with a chuckle.

"No," he corrected. "Garret."

I was instatly dissapointed Floyd wasn't Floyd. I felt lied to and cheated.

"I'm stilll calling him Floyd," I decided but Edward was already walking out the front door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, following him into the hallway.

"I'm going to talk to Garret," he said, knocking on the door to the appartment beside his.

"Floyd," I corrected stubbornly as the door opened.

There stood who I can only assume was Garret/Floyd. I noticed two things about him instantly: he was well over 6ft and secondly his fly was down. This created some what of a delima for me. On one hand I really wanted to laugh and ask if he was afraid of heights. No? Well your fly is...

On the other hand I was just meeting Floyd. First impressions meants a lot and I didn't want to be forever remembered as the girl that made the fly jokes.

It was all a mute point anyway because the king of all first impressions obviously had some things to discuss with Floyd first.

"That key was meant for emergencies," Edward reminded him with deadly calm. "Like if I were to go to work and leave my stove on causing the place to burst into flames."

Floyd chuckled and started to reply but Edward continued.

"Not to turn into a haunted house while I'm at work. Not to store your extensive comic book colection, and not to let Kate in to rearrange my appartment while I'm at my cousins wedding."

All Floyd had to say at the end was, "How was the wedding, Ed?"

His eyes flicked to me and he grinned.

"Kick ass party favors I see," he snickered. "Pick up a nice suvinor while you were in Spoons then?"

"Forks," Edward corrected him but there was humor back in his voice as he turned his attention to me, leaving a noisy kiss on my cheek.

"Garret," he said, looping his arms around my waist. "Meet Bella, my fiance."

Floyd's eyes widened in surprise and flashed down to my ring but he stuck his hand out to me all the same and I shook it.

"Nice to meet you, Bella," he grinned. "I knew I should have gone to that wedding."

Now a perfect person would have shook the mans hand, made some witty comment that made them realize instantly how their friend could have decided to spend the rest of their life with them in only a couple of months. A slightly more boring person would have smiled politely and said it was nice to meet them too. You've already realized I'm not a boring person and I'm definitley not perfect. But I figured the worst I'd do was call the guy Floyd.

"I see you left the barn door open there, Floyd."

... You know, there are probably worse things than to be remembered as the girl that cracks the immature fly jokes... And, yes the look on Floyd's face was definitely worth it.

If Floyd was embarrassed he didn't let it show. He glanced down to see, yes his fly was completely down, putting his Sponge Bob boxers on display, but he made no move to zip his pants. He just grinned ruefully.

"So nice of you to notice."

I rolled my eyes, leaning into Edward more.

"Nothing much to notice." I shrugged.

He busted into the same loud laughter I had heard from the other side of the wall.

"She's perfect for you, Ed," he cackled. "Congratulations."

Sometimes not being perfect really works in my favor.


It turns out Edward has a crazy ex girlfriend named Kate.

Kate seemed nice and normal for the first couple weeks but then she showed her stalker tendencies. Edward would wake up in the middle of the night to see her trying to climb in his window from the fire escape. She'd do crazy things like sneak in and change his answering machine to say 'the Cullens' or tape pictures of herself to the ceiling above his bed so she "Could always watch him." She also tried to move her things in a couple of times but Edward would always come home from work before she was finished with the move. She had plenty of time with Edward in Forks with me I suppose.

Does anyone else see it as extremely ironic that the man that stalked me for the first two weeks I knew him has a stalker? What if this Kate chick has one too? It could be an endless cycle of obsessive stalkers. But on the other hand wouldn't it be sweet if I could say, "Yeah, I'm so cool even my stalkers stalker has a stalker."

"I still don't understand why you let her into my apartment," Edward said, throwing the traitor face at Floyd now. "You know she's crazy."

Floyd shrugged.

"Crazy is hot!" He said as if it was obvious. "Don't you watch tv? Kimora Lee Simons, Niome Camble, Tyra Banks. All the hot chicks are completely loco, man."

Aw yes and the cycle is destined to continue. For some reason I invisioned Floyd being deeper.

"Then let her redecorate your apartment," Edward frowned.

Floyd's grin grew wider.

"She did in a way," The newest evil minion informed us. "She didn't want to haul all your old stuff to the dump so I told her she could transport it to my apartment."

All of the sudden the apartment beyond the gargantuan man held some interest to me.

"You have all my stuff?"

One look at Floyd's triumphant face told me all I needed to know. He did in fact have all of Truck-Nappers things and he would not be returning them willingly. I could tell Edward was thinking the same thing as I was.

This means war, Floyd.


Author's Note: review to get the next chapter posted. Thanks again for your patience guys.